All Comments on 'Coming Together'

Hot story. I need a weekend like this I noticed you asked Crystal about the condoms. Who is CRystal?

Suzi was asking Iain if she was being clear. 'Crystal', as in 'crystal clear', i.e. absolutely clear enough - not aa brand name or another person ;-)

This is a good story, just re-read, and is quite well written. The theme is a good one. Richard is a world-class arsehole and I'm sure a 10-inch cock poking at the cervix of a parous woman is far more likely to inhibit orgasm than promote it. Both women tend to confirm this. I'm sure you've got better stories to tell and I look forward to reading them. 5 stars

The cheating and the swapping was hot, but Linda and Iain’s arc didn’t come off as natural compared to your other works. All the blame was put on Iain’s shoulders for his insecurities. It’s one thing if Iain was the one to introduce Richard to Linda for sex, and he was fine with it before, only to become jealous afterwards. But he was essentially manipulated whilst Linda quickly went on the ride.

But the uncanniness peaks when Linda and Iain reconcile. All that heartbreak on Iain’s part only to go ‘no problem’, Suzi’s pep talk was quite shallow, the immediate moment he sees her again feels off. Linda got off far too easy.

Again, I find the cheating hot and I like a happily ever after, it’s the bridge between them that feels shaky.

Thanks for reading and taking the time to reply!

I tried to write a story where the main problem between the characters was poor communication, not lack of sex per se. The breakthrough there comes in the epilogue, where he finally admits his feelings for Suzi; probably the most honest Iain and Linda have been with each other in years. But in retrospect, perhaps a bit late and a bit abrupt.

My main concern was that I’d not made Iain believable or even likeable - and that I’d turned Richard into a pantomime villain to compensate.

I should have done more with Linda’s guilt at her complicity in their situation. But in earlier drafts they kept wanting to row in the car on the way home; maybe that’s why I had to have Iain let her off easy. But in his mind, with his inadequacy complex, he thinks he deserves the blame; he won’t hold her accountable, so she must; and that didn’t come through in the story as written. More work required.

I’m working on a new story now that has some of the same themes, so I’ll be sure to strike a better balance next time, and make the transition more credible.

Great story, I had started to wonder if Linda would dump Iain for Richard but as the story progressed, I could start to see where the storyline was headed and when Linda put Richard on the ground, I could see how Linda realized that all Richard was a huge dick and that what she really wanted was Iain. Then there was the confession Linda made about loving Suzi and then when Suzi came to live with them and they all professed their love for each other the story came full circle and the polygamy was born and they all lived happily ever after. Well done 5-stars.

I've started reading your stories, in alphabetical order. After the fourth, I felt I had to come back and comment on this one. Iain's motivations, and his reasons for not pressing Linda for sex make sense. That is, until she cheats right in front of him; that's horrible. She only wonders if she hurt him afterwards? And then he learns that she's cheated on him multiple times. That indicates a ridiculous lack of respect. She can't possibly love him.

Suzi is more problematic; she's wanted him for a long time, but she's also been cheating with Linda AND concealing her numerous infidelities. Lack of respect, again. Those things make the happy ending very implausible. I didn't give it a score because anything less than a 4 is just insulting.

I much preferred your story 'Cultural Exchange' (gave that one a 5).