Coming Together with Mom

On the second afternoon of the trip, an accident with a tree branch pierces the fabric of Dani's tent. Nights are cold in the forest which means her tent is unusable. These are special tents, too. Compact and designed for mental and physical insulation.

Dani squints her eyes, puts her hands on her hips, and gives her best friend an icy glare as a joke response. The only reason Dani and her son joined this retreat is because of Zara Eslameih's glowing reviews.

"I guess we're sharing my tent tonight," Robert says to his mother.

Zara interjects with a counter-offer. "No, you can stay with me at night. I'm the one who dragged you onto this trip. It'll be like a sleepover."

Dani's first reaction is to accept her friend's offer. It did sound fun, after all. But being the consummate professional, she didn't want to cross boundaries since they are also office colleagues.

The is a spiritual retreat and most of the attendees are office workers looking to escape their busy lives. They want to find meaning and 'discover their inner-selves,' whatever that means. And they want a chance to connect with nature.

Holistic drugs are used -- in moderate doses -- and experienced teachers are there to guide people at every step.

And with those drugs, the last thing Dani wants is to be sweaty, vulnerable, and having mood swings while laying beside a colleague. Best friend or not. Her professional side will not allow her to show weakness to anyone outside of her family.

"Thanks for the offer," Dani smiles. "But I'll be camping with my son tonight."

She notices her 19 year old son wince. Everyone on the spiritual retreat had taken the herbal remedy the previous night and the results varied. Some had hallucinations, vivid dreams of the past, while others sweated heavily. Two people reported experiencing intense sexual arousal.

It makes Dani wonder what Robert experienced the night before. Surely it's the reason for her son wincing. It is amusing to think that Robert suffered a massive erection. Then she realizes that they'll be laying next to each other tonight, shoulder-to-shoulder, and the thought turns to horror.

The rest of the day is normal. Lots of hiking, lots of meditation, lots of inward reflection. It makes her friendship with Zara even closer. It also gives her a chance to strengthen her maternal bond with Robert.

In the late afternoon she's standing in the river to wash her feet after a long group walk. The sun is beaming on her face. She is braless now, removing her undergarment to relax for the next meditation session. From what she can tell, most of the women meditate braless.

From the coolness of the water, she's certain that her nipples are erect and she wonders if they're poking through her tshirt. She intends to wear a thin sweater before meeting with the rest of the group.

Dani is caught off guard when her son approaches. She thinks about covering her chest, but decides against it. It will look like she has something to hide if she covers herself.

"They're serving fresh fruit juice now," Robert says.

She notices her son catching a glimpse of her chest. At that moment she knows her big nipples are poking through her tshirt. Her son expresses a light smile and diverts his eyes away. The young man is caught.

"I'll be there in a minute," Dani replies. "My feet were sweating so I wanted to take my socks off and step in the water."

"That's a great idea since we'll be sharing a tent tonight."

She laughs. "Very funny. I expect you to be properly bathed as well."

An erection retort comes to mind, but Dani keeps it to herself. Because of all the potential issues that can happen when sharing a tent, a hard penis is the most obvious to her. She refuses to tease her son about it because it will only make things awkward.

"I'm always clean," he says, stealing another glance at her chest. "Come down if you want some juice. Or I can save you a cup."

Dani ignores the invitation. "Thank you for coming on this adventure with me. I mean it. You've been an awesome partner and a real trooper."

"It's a cool vacation," he jokes. "I like being here."

"That's true. But it's useful having you around in the forest. You've also helped keep me grounded. Maybe I work too much. Maybe this trip is what I needed to set my priorities straight, which is family."

He smiles, "I think you're being too hard on yourself. Anyway, I'm glad you're enjoying this spiritual retreat. You seem happy here."

Her son takes another glance at her chest before looking away. Standing in the cold water and thinking about erections, Dani knows her nipples are rock hard. A gust of wind blows, pressing her tshirt across her chest. It makes her son steal another glance.

"You're right, I'm happy here."

Dani faces the sunlight and smiles. She closes her eyes as the sun beams on her face. She outstretches her arms and puts her hands behind her back -- knowing the wind is blowing -- so her nipples become even more prominent as they poke through her tshirt. She wonders if Robert is getting a good look. Of course he is.

As the sun goes down, Dani marvels at her son becoming a man. There's a big difference between being 19 and the years before. It's an epiphany that mothers have when the time is right. Her son used to be dependent on her, like all sons should be in those years.

Now her son is capable of surviving in the outdoors without any complaints. She saw his physical strength on the hikes, doing labor, and helping some women carry heavy things. Dani even marvels at her son's ability to complete introspective tasks such as mediation and inward-reflecting.

Her son is the man she always envisioned.

The spiritual leader mixes herbs and tonics in a bowl. He explains the need for each person to surrender and search within themselves. Everyone in the group takes these words to heart.

Each person is given a serving. It's one mouthful and the taste is bitter. It's safe and plant based, but make no mistake, it's a hallucinogen drug. The leaders have experience administering this drug and carefully monitor everyone's health.

After 30 minutes of meditation, it's time for bed and for the lingering effects of the mild drug to continue in their sleep. It's the purpose of the small tents, so people can have a sense of isolation for their dreams.

Dani enters the tent with her son. There's a bit of awkwardness as they figure things out. They have separate sleeping bags within the tent and they lay down. When their shoulders press, the tension grows.

"How are you feeling?" she asks.

She adjusts herself to get comfortable. Her son gets comfortable as well in the tight space they share. There's still light outside from the campfire, which will be extinguished soon by the group leader.

"I can't remember the last time we slept this close together."

"Years and years ago," she answers.

Dirt is being shoveled onto the campfire outside, making the light inside the tent dimmer. Her body feels like it's floating from the lingering effects of the herbal mixture.

"Mom, I'm high right now," Robert says with a short laugh. "I think you're the only mom in our neighborhood that encourages family drug use."

She reaches over and pats her son's chest. "It's all-natural herbal properties. It's non-addictive and good for the mind. I would never condone the use of hard, illegal drugs."

"I'm only kidding."

She listens to the lightness of Robert's voice, as her son drifts to sleep. Dani is sleepy as well. Outside, a final shovel of dirt extinguishes the campfire and it's pitch black.

When she closes her eyes, she dreams of a time in college when she began to regularly have sex, when sex started to feel normal to her. Those memories and feelings come to her in a rush. It makes her wet to dream about. She's mostly asleep and her toes curl. Her leg muscles tense.

Dani sucks in a deep breath when her mind wanders to her late-husband, the man who took her sexuality to new heights. In her youthful days, she'd invite her late-husband to her office when she'd have to work late. Her late-husband worked a few buildings away in the downtown area, so the trip was easy to arrange.

With the doors closed, she'd open her blouse to reveal a see-through bra made from sheer materials. When she lifted her office skirt, her crotchless panties would be revealed. Something she'd wear all day in anticipation of these events.

After that it would be an intense quickie of oral exchanges and rough sex on her desk. It was the hot and dirty kind. For years they'd do that in her office, every once in a while when the opportunity presented itself.

Her illicit dream shifts to her own son. Yes, her son. She's never had this dream before. Even in her half-awake state of dreaming, this startles her. It makes her wetter, too.

She dreams of laying by her backyard pool at home. She's on a lounge chair. It is something she likes to do on the weekends if the weather is nice. Instead of a bikini, she is naked. Instead of her son turning away, he looks.

In the dream, her finger gestures for her son to come over. Robert listens. When they're close enough, while Robert is standing and she's still laying on the lounge chair, she frees her son's penis and puts it in her mouth.

These memories and new dreams are so intense that Dani awakes. She opens her eyes in the darkness and she's fully alert. She knows that her panties are drenched with bodily fluids.

Her body moves and there's a shuffling sound next to her which stops. The shuffling sound came from her son's mid-region.

"Are you awake?" she whispers.

"Yeah, I haven't slept yet. What about you?"

She sighs. "I was almost asleep, but I had a strange dream."

"What was it about?"

"Your father, mostly."

Their conversation is in whispers so no one hears them in the nearby tents. Talking is supposed to be forbidden at night, but they're in the same tent so this shouldn't disturb anyone.

"Was it a vivid dream?" he asks. "The herbs we took are powerful."

"Yes, it felt so real. What about you? I heard you moving. Were you having a dream or experience of some kind?"

There is a pause. "I guess it was more of an experience. It's hard to explain."

It's easy to understand, she thinks to herself, wondering how to approach this situation. The reality is, her vagina is drenched and her son is likely having a sexual emergency as well. They'd never be able to fall asleep.

"Do you have an erection right now?" she whispers.

"Why are you asking?"

"I heard noises coming from your crotch area. Was that your hand moving around? Don't be embarrassed, we're on herbal drugs. We can be honest with each other."

He gulps. "Yeah, that kind of happened. I'm sweating underneath my tshirt. Those herbs are strong."

"I'm assuming you also had an erection last night. That's why you were so embarrassed to talk about the side effects."

"Basically, yeah."

"How does it compare to a normal erection?" she asks.

He whispers, "It almost hurts now. My blood is pumping. And mentally it's just... I'm thinking of a lot of weird things."

Dani feels sympathy for her son's plight. Having no idea what an erection feels like, she has to believe Robert that it hurts because of the drug. She can only imagine it. Her clitoris is also stiff, so maybe she can relate, she thinks. But the small size of her clitoris is nothing compared to a male organ.

She also keeps in mind that this is her fault. It took two weeks of convincing to get her son to come along for this trip.

And then there's the herbal drug. She prides herself on raising her son to live the straight path. It's her biggest success in life, she thinks. Before joining this retreat, she knew about the herbal treatments, but she didn't know how strong the drug potency was. It's her fault that Robert is facing a predicament, she thinks.

Dani reaches over and tries to find her son's crotch. It's easy to find since they're laying close to each other. To her surprise, her son doesn't resist. Instead, her son lays still, allowing her hand to find the erect penis in the dark.

Through the sleeping bag she feels a stiffness. She gives it a rub. Then she moves her hand away.

"Open your sleeping bag," she whispers. "Do it quietly, or else people will hear us."

Her son doesn't verbally respond, instead moving in slow motion to avoid any sound, lifting the top of his sleeping bag.

Dani takes a deep breath, knowing her son's penis is exposed. She can hear her son breathing. When she reaches over again, her hand makes contact with the skin of Robert's erection. The penis is rock solid, as if he'd taken a performance enhancement. Her son breathes harder.

In slow motion, she peels away her own sleeping bag and then removes her sweat pants. Her thumb is hooked on her panties as her sweat pants come down. She tries her best to be silent about this, because everyone in the group knows that she's sleeping with her son.

She gets on her knees and positions herself above her son. Her legs are spread. How she wonders what her son's facial expression must look like, knowing they are about to have sex. There is no resistance, so she assumes her son is enjoying this unusual moment.

Penetration is easy because of her wetness and her son's hardness. The feeling is ecstasy because of the herbal drug. She puts a hand over her own mouth to keep quiet. She puts her other hand over Robert's mouth to keep him quiet, too. Her hips move at a slow pace.

What's happening is a complete mind-fuck. This is her son between her legs. Before they both cum, she bends down and brings her lips to her son's ear and whispers:

"I had a wet dream of your father, fucking me in my office. We used to do that routinely. Then I dreamt of sucking your cock by the swimming pool. That's why I woke up with my pussy like this."

How she wishes for light, so she could see the expression on her son's face. How shocked must Robert be to hear that? Dani never talks like that to anyone, except to her late-husband. Now her son is hearing those words coming from her mouth. There is no taking it back.

They both came, clenching their jaws to keep quiet. Dani presses the palms of both hands on each of their mouths to ensure silence. The orgasm is a wonder of human nature. She wonders if she could enjoy sex with Robert without the drug. Perhaps she'd never know.

"Goodnight," she whispers in her son's ear.

"Goodnight, mom."

Being called 'mom' after sex is unsettling. She pulls her vagina away, reaching for a tissue in the dark to clean the mess between her legs. It's the moment Dani realizes that her life will never return to normal.

Robert adds, "I really enjoyed that."

"So did I," she whispers back.

Dani doesn't want to leave the tent to wash herself, so she keeps the tissue between her labia to absorb the cum. She's positive there will be a strong odor of male ejaculation in the morning. It's a price worth paying.

Because my tent is close to theirs, I hear the faint rumbles of two bodies moving. Even though it's cold, I pull the zipper down in my tent, just a bit, so I can hear the erotic sounds better.

In the morning I realize that my suspicion is correct. How could it be? How could something like this happen?

My best friend had a sexual encounter with her son. I see the glow on Dani's beautiful face. She is always beautiful, but now, it's like there's sunshine radiating around her. As for her son, it's the same reaction. A glow.

Seeing them try to navigate their emotions is something psychologists should study. I wonder if Dani is filled with regret or arousal. Perhaps both. Sex is often complicated and incest even more so.

Our interactions are awkward for the rest of the morning. At least for me, that is. Everytime I see her, all I can think about is her sexual side that's hidden from the rest of the world. Has she always been having sex with her son? Or was it a side effect of the herbs? I wonder.

I struggle with myself on what to call their interaction from last night. Did they make love? Have sex? Engage in naughty foreplay? Did they fuck? Yes, that must be it. They fucked. It sounds dirtier that way. I like it.

They fucked.

Dani fucked her son.

Those words ring in my mind. Those thoughts are making me flustered, even as I try to maintain conversations with the rest of the group, as well as sticking to our daily meditation routines.

But the thought lingers.

Dani fucked her son.

It makes me smile to think about. In all honesty, I've never had these fantasies before in my life. In fact, I would have thought it was sick. I thought incest fantasies were the twisted perversions of men.

But seeing the reaction from Dani changes my view on that. She smiles at her son more today, stands a little closer to him, even touches him flirtatiously a few times on the chest or shoulder. No one notices except for me. Why would anyone think perverse thoughts about innocent reactions from a mom and son?

Just me. Because I heard them last night.

It is later in the afternoon when Dani and Robert are separated that I feel a compulsion to inquire. Robert is talking with the other guys when I have a moment alone with Dani, while washing clothes in the river.

"Last night was interesting," I say. "I'm pretty sure no one else heard you except for me, because my tent was so close. So the secret is safe."

The sun is beaming down on us and water flows through our bare feet. Dani is stone-faced, bent over to rub her clothes in the water.

Dani replies, "I haven't had sex in nearly two years, for context. The last time was with a guy I briefly dated."

"How was it with Robert?"

Dani looks at me. "What would you like to know?"

"Does he have a nice cock?" I blush when asking.

"I couldn't see it, but it felt wonderful. What's interesting is that Robert is very much the same size as his father. It's the same shape, too. The way it fits inside brought back so many memories. Of course, there are obvious differences, as you can imagine."

Hearing my best friend speak so openly and honestly about incest is having a profound effect on me. The casualness of this conversation makes my knees weak and I can barely stand.

"It's your son, after all," I say. "Absolutely it's going to feel different. Mentally it must be so unusual."

She looks around, making sure there's privacy, then she flashes a discreet smile.

"It was a mind-fuck. That's how I thought of it. If I saw his face during the escapade, I'd be having nightmares from what I did with my son. The darkness gave me a sense of cover."

Looking into Dani's eyes, I wonder if that's true. It seems like she is trying to convince herself that this was entirely the herb's fault. That she bore no responsibility over the sexual relations she had with her son.

"Was all of this because of the herbs?" I ask cautiously. "I mean, have you ever done it before? Are you and Robert... lovers?"

She is shocked by my question. Rightfully so. I crossed the line and the question is stupid. I chide myself for even asking. It came out wrong, but the entire morning I wondered if there was a previous attraction between them.

"I blame the drug 100% for what happened," she says firmly. "Don't forget, you're the one that dragged me here. I should be blaming you for what happened."

We laugh and I get the impression that Dani is still mortified by the question. I can only sympathize with her. And I do feel guilt for dragging Dani to this kind of retreat. It's my fault she had sex with her son. Excuse me, that she fucked her son.

"In all fairness, I apologize. But somehow I think you'll recover from this tragedy. You've been smiling all morning."