by kaitlynB
I wish she had challenged his cruelty and made some positive reforms for the treatment of slaves...
Enjoyable writing! Looking forward to more chapters and the character development in particular.
This is really wonderful writing. I felt a bit teased by the erotic scenes themselves, as they never "finished" or were never really detailed. If I had a piece of advice, it would be to flesh those out. You get the juices flowing so well, build so much tension! It's amazing! It would be a shame to waste it.
You are a very good writer, I am impressed with your grammer. (it always ruins a good plot when the grammer is bad.) I'd just like to say that what often makes stories so wonderful is when they have believable characters. Yours have potential, I would like to learn more about Alenya, and what she is feeling and why. Don't be afraid to put lots of feeling into your work! Good luck - write quickly, please!