All Comments on 'Command and Vanquish Ch. 01'

by kaitlynB

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  • 7 Comments
AnonymousAnonymousover 2 years ago

I wish she had challenged his cruelty and made some positive reforms for the treatment of slaves...

wanderer77wanderer77over 6 years ago
5 *

Enjoyable writing! Looking forward to more chapters and the character development in particular.

IndyBlueWingsIndyBlueWingsalmost 12 years ago
WOW

I love you!! Your writing is beautiful!

AnonymousAnonymousover 14 years ago
Great!

This is really wonderful writing. I felt a bit teased by the erotic scenes themselves, as they never "finished" or were never really detailed. If I had a piece of advice, it would be to flesh those out. You get the juices flowing so well, build so much tension! It's amazing! It would be a shame to waste it.

AnonymousAnonymousover 17 years ago
Lovely story, can't wait to hear more...

You are a very good writer, I am impressed with your grammer. (it always ruins a good plot when the grammer is bad.) I'd just like to say that what often makes stories so wonderful is when they have believable characters. Yours have potential, I would like to learn more about Alenya, and what she is feeling and why. Don't be afraid to put lots of feeling into your work! Good luck - write quickly, please!

AnonymousAnonymousover 17 years ago
Well begun

You set up many things well. Look forward to reading more.

AnonymousAnonymousover 17 years ago
Awesome

I loved it look forward to reading more!!!

Anonymous
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