All Comments on 'Completing the Circle'

They left without the money? Really? Very negative rating for being so stupid!

So your intro claims they loved each other and the game changed that, yet by the end it didnt

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Your tags claim the wife is reluctant, yet she is having exhibitionist sex five minutes after one conversation, and has sex of some sort with nearly a dozen men in a single night less than a week? a month later?

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I have to ask, do you understand the definition of the words you use?

fun but dumb premise executed well. 4 stars.

And you somehow thought writing swap story was a good idea for a first story why? Wasted effort, the next one to be thrown on the heap of writers to ignore.

Could someone please explain to me how having sex with a bunch of random strangers makes your love grow stronger. Is there a category for fairy tales?

Amazing story and really great build up... loved it definitely continue 😄 with more 😜

Ok, I know it was just a fantasy story. But if such a game had been run, the organisers would have risked paying out tens of thousands of dollars. What sort of group/club would potentially pay out, what... (were there 8 or 10 in the group?) So, if 8 couples, 16 people. Earning $7,000 each couple if they got to the last round. 8x$7k = $56

BUT... half the final couple lose everything if they lose the last round but it goes to the other team/couple. So half (4) have the potential to win around $14k each. But old Evan risked doubling it on the last "task", making $28k just for Mary. So, a potential $70k payout was possible, just for this one "Circle Game" That's just ridiculous. How would that be funded? Videoing it and putting in on a pay-to-view channel?

Of course, Mary and Toby get nothing! Cause Toby failed so as a couple they get nothing! Yes, I know I'm destroying a fantasy story by being pedantic but it has to make sense. How many completed the Circle and received their payouts?

This seems quite familiar, has it been edited and resubmitted, or is there another along these lines?!

Looking forward to Chapter 2!!!!

Loved the fact they were together at the end. Thought it was going to end with the husband leaving. Would love to see the story for his POV.

Very, very hot! Glad to see this recommendation in the Lit subreddit

A very interesting concept.

Care for constructive criticism?

Be more careful with the details of the story as getting details wrong distracts from what is otherwise a well constructed, if very fanciful, story.

For instance, in the beginning you tell of the couple having sex in front of their neighbors and then when it’s time for Mary to strip she says to herself she’s never been naked in front of others. Umm she wasn’t naked when having sex in front of the neighbors?

You got the numbers wrong when she was punished for going too far. She was in room 2 and Mrs 4 would be in room 1 not 8. Also Evan never said anything about “penetration”, just that they had broken rules. But Mary says to herself “he only said penetration”.

You also imply the cash rewards are a team effort at the beginning, and then magically seem to separate them into individual winnings at the end.

Yeah, I know, minor details, but after putting so much thought into crafting an intricate story, it’s a shame to miss the minor details.

Here comes pestilence and disease.

Personally, I LOVED it! As for Impo_64's comment, I assumed that the money would be paid electronically, like most large transactions. The gradual loss of innocence by Mary as she proceeded around the circle was well paced and timed to make it an acceptable premise for a story. I hope there is more to come from Mary and Toby. 5 out of 5!

Thanks for pointing that out, @Impo_64! I've submitted a revision where it's more clear how the couple gets the money.

@lujon2019, could be it that you're referring to the first two paragraphs, where I mentioned that their love hadn't really been tested before, and that the game would change that? I can see how it could be read to refer changing their love. Will tweak!

I'd be happy to try and explain, @Twentyseven! The idea was for the couple to feel a strengthened confidence in their commitment to each other, that they were still a man and husband even after having sex with others, and to discover that their love goes above and way beyond physical lust. I'm sorry if you don't feel like the story delivered but that was the idea anyway.

I think, @LeonardSpencer, that a modicum of willing suspension of disbelief is in order here. ;) To be honest, though, I thought of dropping the monetary aspect altogether and/or to add a wealthy "Squid game"-esque audience to the mix. Maybe either track would have made it better?

Very interesting story idea. I’m looking forward to reading more.

That was fucking HOT!!!

That was very well thought out, and written with skill. Thank you!

Nothing new, just another fetish-cuck multipart tale, to add to the thousands already posted in this LW category.

He stopped but she didn't. When will it hit them and will she want to go ack for more or for herself.

Outstanding!!!

A very interesting plot idea. Of course the process of the wife traveling through the circle of men, and in stages tuning into a double penetrated slut, begs the analogy of their marriage, swirling down the toilet in a circle of lust, promiscuity, and eventually deceit and betrayal. She's just had the best sex of her life, and it did not involve her husband. And in fact excluding her husband was an ingredient of her sexual "growth." Sooner or later they will both want the extra marital thrill, and it will cost them ALL the "winnings" of their previous marriage relationship. Yeah, having sex outside your marriage is so effective and rewarding, that's why almost Everyone married fucks around with strangers. OK, nobody I know, but I'm sure there are A Lot of very very happy spouses fucking around on each other. I mean, it reads like So Much Fun! And absolutely no consequences or regrets, None. Well, except for that sharp pain when he takes a piss, and those genital warts that cause her to go sterile. Yeah, their marriage is so much better now. Thanks for the revelation.

I just want to again say how much I enjoyed this story. Regardless of what you write the anonymous basement dwellers will have negative comments, ignore & delete them.

I’m looking forward to reading part II. It will be fun and hopefully give some prospective from hubby. What was he doing/thinking this whole time? What will be his reaction/thoughts when he watches another man slide into his playground?

Keep writing!

Hmmm. A tale of grooming and coercion. Take a fundamentally sound marriage and convince the unsuspecting victims of the benefits of “the lifestyle”. Nothing says “I love my husband/wife more than swapping bodily fluids with a stranger. Like lending your car to a stranger and getting it back filled with fast food wrappers and other unsavoury discharge, birdshit on the bonnet, more miles on the clock, the fuel tank empty and in need of a tune up. Yep, this is the way if you want a strong marriage. If you reach that point that you don’t care what the other half does or whom with, you’ve reached the liberal nirvana of modern relationships. The idea that having mind blowing orgasms with others and then coming home to enjoy routine sex with your better half will fail in the long term. Just ask anyone who has lived the lifestyle, not many last.

Having said that, well written as a first off story. I’m hoping the author can branch out and flesh his/her storylines to include all aspects of the LW universe, however respect that one writes what one likes and it’s up to the reader to put up or move on.

utterly fantastic! Best story on here!

Definitely Squid Game for cheaters. Also they lost all their money when Toby messed up. That's how I understand the payout scheme. I guess the next Circle Game will employ BDSM consequences for those who lose a task. It can only go downhill from this low point.

This "game" was created to corrupt reluctant potential swingers. They purposefully separate the couples then have them experience a new sexual awakening on their own with strangers. So now she's had amazingly exciting sex,without her husband having any part of it. This will grow and happen again and again until she or he starts lying, it breaking their "rules" until the inevitable bitter divorce. But hey, I hope you liked all the new cock! Btw were those ringers in every room? I've seen swingers and they aren't all 6 foot muscular specimens with 9 inchers, gimme a break.

Loved it! Pure imaginative smut and it was awesome. Thank you!

One more thing: I’m really looking forward to what fantasies you write next. I love the escapism of it! Thank you for sharing with us!

A one of a kind story, possibly the best creative work here. Very well written and very erotic. 5 stars!!

Couldn't agree more with Hotdiggitydog. Best story I've read in forever. Would love to play that game with my wife. ;-)

Not the Squid Games. Not the Hunger Games. It’s the Cuckold Games.

Don't pay too much attention to the negative comments. I like what you did. Now write something different.