Confession Ch. 01: I Didn't Wait

Every good Catholic girl grows up knowing that you save yourself for marriage. You stay pure. You keep your heart and body pristine for both God and your future husband. I knew the rules and I followed them to a "T".

Through High School I didn't date. I didn't go out with boys. I didn't go to their house. They didn't come over to mine. The summer after I graduated, that slightly changed and I went out on a few dates. To my surprise, I kissed my first boy. But that was it. I followed the rules.

As a freshman in college I ventured out and went to some parties. I flirted a little bit more and went out on more dates. I then started dated I guess who you could call my first boyfriend. In the grand scheme of things it was still very immature. We went out to dinners, hung out at parties, and made out a lot. But, that was it. No inappropriate touching. The line was drawn at kissing and despite his most desperate pleas, that is all that ever happened. There were rules.

That didn't last long but towards the end of the semester I went out on a date with a friend from High School. Then there were more and more dates. Pretty quickly we were officially boyfriend and girlfriend and this time it was different. This wasn't the same kiss and date immaturity as before. I was, well, in love.

To put it bluntly though, he wasn't pure like me. He was an amazing guy but he didn't follow the rules. There was another girl that had come before me and gotten all of him. You would think this would be a non-starter for me, but in reality, it intrigued me. Here is an amazing guy who I'm crazy about and he's not a virgin. Maybe the rules aren't the end all be all.

About a month into our relationship he knew all about me. Who I had kissed and all the things I had refused to do despite being asked, begged even. He was a bit jealous I had even kissed just a few other guys and was glad I hadn't done more. He was protective of me and it made me feel amazing. That's what staying pure was about, that feeling of being someone's everything. Making things special. There were rules for a reason.

It was soon Christmas break and we got to spend a lot of time together. Every night we would just hide out from our parents together and make out. The passion got more intense and I started to forget about the rule. One night I let his hand push up under my bra massaging my breasts. I was finally being touched like a woman and it felt so amazing. A simple pleasure but so arousing.

My breasts had always drawn attention before. They were a full 34D and all of the boys before adored them. They wanted to see and touch them but that was against the rules. Feeling them touched now was breaking the rules but I just ignored the guilt. It felt good and I was in love after all.

It was only fair if I got to explore too, right? As his hands explored me I also did some exploring. I will never forget sliding my hand into the front of his jeans for the first time. It was the first time that I felt raw, hard manhood. As my hand felt the warmth of his penis I soon realized that he was as gifted there as I was up top. In the same way I had large full breasts, he had a large thick penis. Nature seemed to take over. I was ignoring the rules and it felt so good.

As things go when you're young and exploring, there's a natural progression. My first handjob. My first blowjob. I will perhaps go into more detail about those but for now I just want to mention that they happened. We spent our winter nights "watching a movie" while exploring my new sexual horizons.

It felt so freeing to finally, one night, unclasp my bra in front of him. After being begged before by other boys to show my large breasts off I got to show someone. He loved them. Feeling my bra drop down my shoulders and being bare chested in front of him was so arousing. From that point on I got topless as often as I could. It felt so good to just show off and have my body appreciated.

We played those games for a long time. I know he was a super patient person and sweet, but he wanted more. I wanted more too but...those rules! So we just spent months doing everything but that final deed. We would take hot showers where I would feel his hands and eyes all over my body. I spent countless hours bringing him to orgasm in various ways. It was so fun to live outside of the Catholic boundaries.

Nearly a year into our relationship we were planning a weekend trip to a cabin in the mountains. It would be our first real getaway together and I couldn't be more excited. The weekend came and after we finished up our classes on Friday, we jumped in the car and drove for hours up into the beautiful mountains.

That small, dingy cabin is not what it seemed on the internet. This was long before AirBnB and all we could find (and afford, being poor college sophomores). I will never forget the look we gave each other when we walked in, slightly taken aback by the musty odors. It was quaint though with an incredible view from the back deck. We quickly grabbed our bags and got settled in.

After a simple dinner we opened up our stowaway alcohol we had a friend buy us. With a couple of drinks we sat bundled up on that back porch. It soon began to snow painting the most picturesque evening. The wind kicked up and despite the alcohol, it became too cold to enjoy the open air of the porch. Scurrying inside from the cold my boyfriend made his way to the fireplace to get some additional warmth going.

It was a good thing that he did because the wind must've taken down a tree or large limb. We lost power which only enhanced the romanticism of this entire adventure. Taking sips from our drinks we sat cuddled by the fire having the time of our lives. The talking eventually slowed down as the kissing began.

As had become so common for us, we would make out while letting our hands and mouths do anything they wanted. On an old dusty blanket near a small rock fireplace we found ourselves enthralled in passion. Our naked bodies enjoying every moment. His finger bringing me to orgasm. He was so good at it. The heat of the flames nearby just amplified all of my body's senses.

Now it was his turn. My hand stroking his long firm member. Passionate kisses fueled me more and I made my way down his chest and stomach. Placing him in my mouth I began to please him as best as I could. I tried my best but it wasn't going to happen easy that night. Which, never bothered me. I was never frustrated at having to do my job for a while. I enjoyed it. Plus, selfishly, I knew the longer it took usually meant a bigger finish. (More on that another time).

Seconds turned into minutes which turned into tens of minutes. Still nothing but it was so erotic. His hand had returned to my body and soon his fingers were finishing me off again. Looking back on those days it seemed all we did were having amazing orgasms and I love to recall that.

After my second orgasm he moved on top, kissing me and grinding on me. I felt him so hard against me. He whispered something about how badly he wanted me and I returned the sentiment, my hand finding his member again. His mouth moving from my mouth to my breasts, and to my nipples, and back to my mouth repeatedly.

"God I want us to finally have sex" he moaned to me. I felt the same way. "Me too" I responded, "But...we can't."

"I know" he acknowledged me, sincerely as always. His member pumping in my hand, but oh so close to my flower. His warm balls moving up and down my lips as he thrust in and out of my soft grip.

"We will one day, I promise" I told him, reassuring my desire. "We couldn't now if we wanted to, we don't have protection." That was another issue. I wasn't on birth control, because that is against the rules. Condoms would also be against the rules but a necessary evil I had decided.

"I know..." he trailed off with a soft moan. "But let me feel it" he added referencing something we would do sometimes. I bit my lip as he ran his shaft up and down my lips. My wetness would lubricate his member making it easier to jerk while also feeling so good for me. I let out a soft moan and soon felt my hips moving with his.

This went on far longer than it ever had before. We were moving in sync, grinding our bodies together. How long had we been laying on that old blanket? I had lost all track of time and reality. It was pure pleasure.

That's when I suddenly felt it. His very large tip had pushed itself just slightly between my lips. I instantly felt a new sensation as my small opening was now penetrated with something other than his or my fingers. It also felt much different than fingers ever had.

He paused also realizing what had happened. He held my stare and we laid there in absolute silence. The weight of his body on top of mine worked with gravity. I could feel him, though absolutely still, slowly moving in further. The tip, then another quarter of an inch, then another. In just a few quiet moments a small portion of his large member had gone deeper into me.

Neither of us spoke. I think I was afraid to acknowledge the situation. I think he was afraid of me stopping us dead in our tracks. Instead we just stared at each other, slowly growing bolder. He pulled back slightly and then pushed in more. I gasped. I took a deep breath and more of him entered. How much more could there be? I thought to myself.

I looked down and realized there was more. I had always been nervous about when that time would come. I want to be clear, this is no fantasized version of events and he wasn't some horse hung individual. But, he was big, very big. One day I would have to take him and I was always unsure of how that would happen. I was now finding out.

At this point my body took over and the most amazing feelings overwhelmed me. In the next several minutes my body began to orgasm repeatedly with him inside me. I wish I could repeat that experience again and again. My moans became louder and louder inside that small mountain cabin.

The more I came the more he thrusted. I was now taking so much of him so deep inside of me. I think it was only about three-quarters of his length but oh my God was it plenty. "I'm so close" he moaned as his pumps became longer and deeper. Then I felt him disappear from me as he leaned back. My head leaned up in time to watch him erupt. We had taken so long all night that he had built up one of the best loads I had ever seen with him. The first spurt hit my stomach, then another and another up further on my breasts and chest. One long one hit my cheek and neck. The final few landing back on my stomach and mound.

I laid there as he fell on the blanket next to me. My head on his chest. His semen warm and drying on my skin. We both dozed off. It wasn't how I had expected it to happen, or when, or where. Though I'm not sure it could have been better. I broke the rules on a snowy mountain night. That's my first confession.