Confession of Adultery

He held up a legal document and handed it to Harrison. "Here's the agreement, Harrison. I'd advise you to sign it. It's the best deal you can hope for."

Harrison snatched it from him angrily and tucked the document in his coat jacket. "I'll take this to my attorney - he'll get a laugh out of it," he snapped.

But the little man wasn't finished. "I still can't believe you're that upset about my expense account. There's got to be more to it than that." Then his head snapped up. "It's that priest, isn't it? I saw Maclanahan leaving just before I got here. All this is just a smokescreen to protect his saintly reputation. He told you and now you're trying to get back at me!"

Charlton looked at him in confusion. "I don't know what you're talking about, Harrison."

The little man was so excited he was almost dancing. "I can't believe he did it! Father High and Mighty Maclanahan broke his priestly vows, he told you about my confession! I'll have him defrocked for this. And not only that, but now that the secret is out, everybody will know that I confessed the whole thing to him and he'll become the laughing stock of the town. When I get through with him, he won't be able to look anyone in the eye ever again!"

"What confession?" Charlton asked. "Father Mac was here, but he never said anything about any confession."

"Don't give me that shit!" Harrison spit. "I went to him and confessed to having an affair. I didn't tell him who it was with but I kept giving him hints. He swore he was bound to keep my confession secret, but when he finally realized it was his own wife I was fucking, he broke his vows and told you!"

Now Charlton stood up in astonishment. "You did what!? You're lying in your teeth, Harrison. Colleen would never cheat on Mac."

"Hah!" Harrison sneered. "You don't know the real Colleen O'Reilly. Who do you think I took to the beach last weekend? You should have heard her begging for more when I stuck my cock in her ass!"

Charlton's face turned pale and his voice took on an urgent tone. "If you're telling the truth, my advice to you is to sign that document and leave town immediately. Get as far away from here as fast as you can! You've got to understand: Mac was in the Marines, he was in the Iraq war!"

"That wimp?" Harrison snarled. "He doesn't scare me. What's he going to do, throw his Bible at me?"

"He's no wimp," Charlton said urgently, "he's one of the toughest men I know, and he loves his wife more than anything. He . . ."

Harrison interrupted him. "I've heard enough bullshit about your wonder priest to last me a lifetime. I'm not afraid of him and I'm not afraid of your fucking Board of Trustees. You'll be hearing from my attorney!"

With that the man stormed out of Charlton's office, slamming the door behind him. Preston slumped back in his chair for a moment, then grabbed his phone and tried to call Father Mac's cell phone. When he got a recording he tried St. Ann's, but Mrs. Moore hadn't seen the priest. Preston thanked her and hung up. "Don't do anything stupid, Mac, please don't do it," he kept repeating.

* * * * * * * * * *

Colleen was working at her computer when Carter Harrison pushed his way into her office, his face red with anger. "He broke his vows!" he shouted. "Your saintly husband broke his vows!"

Colleen could see people peering uneasily into her office, and she tried to quiet the angry man pacing back and forth in front of her desk. "Calm down, Carter. Lower your voice and tell me what's happened."

"What's happened is that your Episcopal priest husband broke the seal of confession. He told Preston Charlton all about my confession," he raved. "I'm going to have him excommunicated. Then what'll people think about him?"

"Wait a minute, why did you make a confession, Carter? You don't go to church; why would you go to confession?" Colleen asked in confusion.

Harrison scowled at her. "Because I wanted to put that self-righteous prick in his place. Everybody thinks he's so tall and wise and good. Well, he's not half as smart as I am, and now everybody else is going to know it." He laughed out loud. "It was beautiful: I was laughing in his face the whole time and he didn't even know it. I told him what I had done and there was nothing he could do about it!"

"Oh, God, Carter, what did you tell him? You bastard, say you didn't tell him about us!"

Outside there were gasps from Colleen's co-workers, but in her panic she ignored everything but the man in front of her.

Harrison smirked at her. "Oh, but I did. I told him I was committing adultery with a woman he knew. I even told him ahead of time I was going to take her to the beach last weekend for some fun and games. I made sure he would figure it out. And all the time he was sitting there listening to me, I was laughing at him! I made him a cuckold, and now that he's broken his vows, I'm going to ruin him."

"Oh my God, what have you done? He'll kill you!"

"Oh, sure, like I'm going to be afraid of some Marine Corps chaplain!"

"He wasn't a chaplain, Carter, he was a sniper, a trained killer. He had over fifty confirmed kills to his record in Iraq. He once shot a man over a mile-and-a-half away!" she said frantically.

"I don't believe you. You're just making that up. He's no super-soldier."

"You have no idea who you're dealing with, Carter. When his best friend in Iraq was killed, Mac spent weeks tracking the enemy sniper down before he shot him." Then she gave a gasp. "Oh my God, that's why he brought that gun down! Carter, he still has his sniper rifle. That thing is huge. He once told me it could shoot a bullet through a brick wall and still kill the man behind it."

As Harrison looked at her uncertainly, she began pleading with him. "Carter, please, you've got to go, you've got to get out of town now. It's your only chance."

The man eyed her suspiciously. "Why are you so anxious to make me run? Sure, you liked the things I did to you last weekend, but I know you don't give a damn about me. What do you care what happens?"

Tears began to well in her eyes. "You're right, Carter. I couldn't care less what happens to you, but I care deeply about what happens to Mac. The last time he lost someone he truly loved it nearly destroyed him. I don't want that to happen again - he doesn't deserve that."

Harrison's uncertainty was growing: twice he started to speak and then stopped himself. He looked around at the people outside Colleen's office and then back at her. Finally he seemed to reach a decision. "You're crazy," he said, "and this is all bullshit. All I know is that Saint Maclanahan has shown his feet of clay, and I'm going to let the whole world know it."

With that he stomped out of her office and headed for his car. As he drove back to the United Fund, his thoughts were a jumble. He was elated at having cuckolded Maclanahan, yet angry that the priest had disclosed his confession. He wanted the man punished for breaking his vows, but now that the secret was out he was eager for everyone to know how he'd humiliated his antagonist. Yet even as his excited brain kept hopping from one thought to the next, he found himself scanning the sidewalks as he drove, wondering if Maclanahan might be stalking him even now. He tried to shake off his growing uneasiness, but it clung to him like a bad odor.

When he got to the United Fund building, a number of employees were standing around in the parking lot and more were clustered in the lobby. Harrison ignored all of them and barged his way through. When he reached his office, he found the door was wide open even though he was sure he'd closed it before he'd left.

He peered inside and gasped. The room looked as though an explosion had gone off. Dust filled the air and papers were strewn about the office. His desk was splintered and his executive chair had been flipped over on the floor. When he set it upright he saw it had a large ragged hole punched through the back support. In shock he looked around, and that's when he noticed the sun coming through the shattered cinder block wall behind his desk.

As he stood there in stunned disbelief, the receptionist came up to him nervously. "Excuse me, Mr. Harrison. Father Mac came by this morning and left a package for you. He asked me to be sure you got it right away. He said it was urgent."

Harrison took the package from her and opened it cautiously. Reaching inside, he pulled out a pointed cylinder over five inches long. At first he didn't recognize it, then suddenly he realized he was holding the largest bullet he had ever seen. Numbly he hefted it, noting how heavy it felt. "Could that really be a shell for a rifle?" he wondered. With a shudder he quickly shoved it back in the package.

As he did so, he noticed a sheet of paper inside. Gingerly he fished it out and examined it. It was a page torn from the Bible, the Book of Exodus. A few words had been highlighted: "An eye for an eye and a tooth for a tooth."

As Harrison stared at the text, he remembered something Colleen had told him: "He killed a man over a mile-and-a-half away." Abruptly he spun around to stare out the window at the nearby office buildings. "He could be on top of any one of them right now," Harrison thought, and fear ran through him like ice water. Instinctively he stepped away from the window, putting the cinder block wall between him and the outside world. Then he looked at the hole in the wall, and panic made him duck to the floor. On his hands and knees, he reached into his jacket pocket and yanked out the document Charlton had given him. He hastily signed it and left it lying there on the dusty carpet. Then he scuttled out of his office and rushed for the exit. As he ran to his car, he screamed at the employees milling around, "I signed it. Tell him not to shoot - I signed it!" Then he gunned the engine and roared away, heading for the Interstate.

* * * * * * * * * *

After Harrison had left, Colleen sat down at her desk in shock, drying her eyes and trying to gather her wits about her. After a few minutes she stood up, grabbed her purse and walked out of her office. "I'm leaving," she told one of her co-workers. "Will you be back?" the woman asked uncertainly. Colleen glanced at her bleakly. "I doubt it," she said.

Once she got to her car, Colleen quickly drove to St. Ann's, hoping to find her husband. When she arrived, she hurried to Mac's little office, but it was empty. Mrs. Moore followed her, alarmed at Colleen's appearance. "Where is he?" Colleen demanded, but the poor woman had no idea. "I think he was here early this morning," she said, "but I haven't seen him." Colleen glanced around Mac's office and then turned to leave. "If you hear from him, have him call me immediately!" she yelled over her shoulder. "And tell him not to do anything!"

When she got behind the wheel of her car, Colleen burst into tears. Now that the adrenaline was wearing off she felt a growing sense of despair. Like a frightened child she wished that she could wake up and discover all this had been just a nightmare. After a moment, she started the car and headed for home, hoping to find Mac there.

Those faint hopes were dashed when she found the driveway empty. Deeply depressed, she parked her car and went inside. When she caught a glimpse of herself in the hall mirror, she went back to the bathroom to put cold water on her red, swollen eyes. As she came out of the bathroom, she noticed to her horror that the gun bag she had seen in the bedroom this morning was now missing.

She sank down on the bed and began to weep again. "What have I done, what have I done? I don't care what happens to me, but if I've turned Mac back into a killer I'll never forgive myself."

She sat there in the darkened bedroom for a long time before she heard the sound of a car in the driveway. Slowly she got up and walked into the living room to wait. When Mac came through the front door, the heavy rifle was slung over his shoulder. She looked at him fearfully as he stood there in silence. When she couldn't stand it any longer she asked in a whisper, "Did you kill him?"

"I was planning to," he said, "but I finally settled for scaring him half to death. I guess it worked. Preston called me just a little while ago from the United Fund office. The employees told him Harrison drove away like the devil was after him. They found his signed resignation and confession in his office. I don't think we'll have to worry about Carter Harrison again."

Colleen slowly sank to her knees, momentarily overcome by relief. But then she looked up at Mac again with new fear in her eyes. "Are you going to kill me?" she asked.

Hastily he unslung his rifle and set it aside. "No, Colleen," he said, shocked, "of course not. I could never hurt you."

"Not even after what I did? Carter told me he confessed everything to you."

Mac shook his head sternly. "You know I can never reveal anything said in confession. But found out what you'd done on my own. The way you were acting the last few weeks made me suspicious. When I called Megan after you left on Saturday, I found out you'd lied to me about your plans. I took a guess and called the Royal Sands. They told me that 'Mr. and Mrs. Harrison' had checked in. Later, Carter's expense account confirmed that he was there. And this morning when I came by the house, I found the complimentary comb from the hotel, so I know you were there too."

Now Colleen bowed her head in shame. "I'm sorry Mac, so very sorry. You don't even know the half of it - it's so much worse than just cheating on you. I did terrible things with him, and I let him do worse things to me. I'm so ashamed." She looked up at him with tears streaming down her face. "I wish you would kill me - I deserve to die."

The pain in his voice was palpable. "Why, Colleen? Why would you do that? What did I do wrong?"

She began to sob now. "Oh, Mac, don't ever think any of this was your fault. Somehow Carter saw a side of me I didn't know I had. He dominated me and used me, and I loved it. It was like a drug: once I tried it I was hooked." She looked at him with pleading eyes. "I've seen lots of alcoholics and drug addicts in my work and I was exactly like they were. All I wanted was another fix, regardless of who might be hurt."

He knelt down beside her. "I know something about temptation, Colleen. I've had my share, especially the last few days," he said, his voice quiet.

She dared to look at him. "Do you think you could ever love me again, Mac, even after all I've done?"

He took her arms and lifted her to her feet. "I will always love you, Colleen."

She threw her arms around him and hugged him as though she were clinging to the mast of a ship in a storm. After awhile she pulled back to look at him with new hope in her eyes. "Can you find it in your heart to forgive me? I know I've hurt you so terribly, but if you'll give me the chance I'll be the best wife you could ever hope for. I'll spend the rest of my life proving I'm worthy of your love. Please, Mac, please forgive me."

He looked at her solemnly. "I do forgive you, Colleen."

She embraced him again, but when she realized that he was not returning her embrace, she drew back. "What is it, Mac?"

He looked in her eyes and his voice was filled with pain. "I'll always love you, Colleen, but I can't stay married to you."

"But, why?" she protested. "You said you forgave me."

"I do forgive you, Colleen, but I can never forget what you've done. I've lost my faith in you."

As he spoke her tears returned, harder than before. "That was the thing about Rico," he said. "That's why it was so bad when he was killed. I always knew I could count on him." His face twisted in pain as the memory flashed before him. "Even when he was lying on that street, waiting for the second bullet, he was thinking about me."

He looked at his wife with a despairing expression. "Before all this happened, you were my strength, Colleen. When I needed you, I always felt I could count on you. But now I can never be sure that you'll be there. I have no choice but to learn to live without you now."

She fell to the floor again, but this time he let her lie there.

* * * * * * * * * *

When Preston Charlton walked into the church office the next day, Mac was busy pulling papers out of files. Preston watched him for a moment and then asked quietly, "How did it go with Colleen?"

Mac looked up with a tortured expression on his face. "She's driving up to her sister's house today. I think she's planning on staying with her until she can find a place of her own."

"I'm really sorry, Mac," the banker said. "I would never have believed things would turn out this way."

Mac looked away to hide the pain in his eyes and resumed pulling items out of the files. "What are you doing?" Preston asked.

Mac turned to face his friend. "I'm leaving St. Ann's, Preston. I'm going to quit the priesthood."

Charlton looked aghast. "Mac, you can't do that. People here need you."

Mac shook his head stubbornly. "They need somebody better than me. I wasn't a very good husband, and for damned sure I wasn't a very good priest. I couldn't protect Colleen from Carter Harrison and I didn't help the United Fund when I saw the warning signals."

"Mac, you can't hold yourself responsible for what happened. Harrison had us all fooled, me most of all. And as for Colleen, well, all of us are tempted at one time or another and all of us have to deal with it when that time comes. I don't understand what happened with Colleen, but if I remember my Sunday School lessons correctly, she wasn't the first person who yielded to temptation."

Mac smiled sadly. "Maybe so, Preston, but I still feel like I should have done something." Then his face resumed its somber look. "But even setting Colleen aside, there's no denying that I came very close to killing a man this week. For sure I threatened him and I blew a hole in the United Fund office in the process. What kind of a priest does that?"

Preston smiled. "For goodness sake, don't worry about the building. Considering that you got Harrison to sign that confession and resignation, it was well worth it. To be honest, I think the Board wants to give you a medal for running Harrison off, not a bill for property damage."

Then his face took on a more serious expression. "As for threatening Harrison, I really don't think God or anyone else could blame you for getting so angry at that man after the way he went after you."

"God!" Mac said bitterly. "That's the worst part of all, Preston. I think God has abandoned me and I've lost my faith in Him. When I realized what was going on with Colleen, I tried to turn to Him for help or at least consolation, but I got nothing. Where was He when I really needed Him?"

He picked up some notes lying on his desk and showed them to Charlton. "Here's my sermon on Sodom and Gomorrah from last Sunday. Remember how God sent an angel to Lot to lead him to safety before the two cities were destroyed? Where was my angel? Why didn't God send somebody to save me?"

In a defeated voice, Mac whispered, "I came so close to killing that man, Preston. If some woman I hardly knew hadn't come to my office with those expense accounts, I would have shot him."

Charlton gave him the strangest look. "What did you just say, Father Mac?"

Mac looked at him uncertainly. "I said I would have killed Carter Harrison if Marge Terrell hadn't shown up out of the blue . . ." He stopped abruptly as he thought about what he had just said. A look of wonder came over him.

After a long moment he began to put his files back in his desk. "I guess maybe this is where I belong after all," he said quietly.