All Comments on 'Connected'

An enjoyable story. Hope to see more from you.

Nice story. Sweet and sensual at the same time.

Great storytelling.

This story was so touching I can't even describe.

Your characters are so wonderful and realistic. I hope you'll write more stories just like this one and I also hope you continue this story with many more chapters.

Keep it up....forever

Xtinas_Girlfriend I`m in complete agreement with the other readers your story is so moving and i hope you continue with your stories.

<p>First of all, let me say that I come from an Indian Muslim family and I happen to be bisexual. I've never been religious and I left Islam before I figured out my orientation; still, there's a lot of devout Muslims who happen to be gay (my cousin included).</p>

<p>So, no, it doesn't offend me. I like the concept of your story. However, I'm slightly disappointed with the writing style.</p>

<p>I felt that you were a little <i>too</i> dependent on dialog. The whole time, it's</p>

<p>"So how about we do this now?"<br>

"OK."</p>

<p>Don't be afraid to stretch out the writing. Put more detail on the actions and emotions that progress the relationship. Let the readers get more absorbed into it.</p>

<p>I certainly would have liked that. The brief glimpses I got into the relationship show me that it turned out to be a sweet one, but I would have liked to savor the sights. You know what I mean?</p>

<p>Since this <i>is</i> Literotica, you could have also considered writing longer and more detailed sex scenes. I'm good either way on that front. I definitely would have liked to read more about Yasmin's coming out: about how she transforms from a shy friend to a carefree and avid lover as she grows more comfortable with her own sexuality. That's the one thing that rang the truest to me - I've met enough Middle Eastern girls to know that the majority are "lambs on the outside, lionesses on the inside".</p>

wow you have a gift please keep writing

Well, you are a wonderful writer and i guess you could make it big with your pen(magical one, i would say). Especially, i liked the story base and if its a real one, you are one lucky lady. GOD BLESS YOU. KEEP IT UP. Hope you have more chapters coming for us

A very pretty love story. Well done!

this story reminds me of my past.(cinder)

Love, the universal language that speaks from the heart