Conversion Ch. 03

Conversion

(Chapter 3)

I was uncertain what would happen when I found myself once more in front of my computer. I had put this off for as long as I could stand, my frustrations were now affecting my thoughts, leaving me incapable of concentrating on anything for long, my thoughts always being drawn back to the overwhelming sexual crescendo raging in my mind, so here I finally was, then I hit play. Of what actually occurred, I have no idea, I came to my senses and realized 3 hours had past. I was exhausted, sitting back in my chair panting from what had to have been a huge effort. My panties were soaked, in fact there was cum smeared all over everything and I sensed that I had eaten it too, as I could taste its musky salty flavor.

I knew I could never do this again, I would need to work out some sort of schedule and not force myself to avoid the sessions. Loosing track of time just wasn't good and I knew that extended duration of my break had been the cause. I had at least quieted my sexual demons and was able to think clearly for the first time in over a week. I pondered my situation over the next few days. I came to understand that in the absence of my normal sexual release after my divorce, my body had begun to rebel. It needed release and I had forced myself to ignore that until my I finally relented and began watching porn. Pornography was familiar and it had provided me with what I had needed before I had married, but now it seemed too familiar, stale even, which left me wanting something different and new, that was when I inadvertently stumbled upon the videos.

Something in them stirred some repressed feeling inside me. Something I hadn't been aware of before. My repressed feelings began manifesting when I came across my wife's old clothes. They had turned into the perfect outlet for them, the feelings weld up inside of me resulting in sexual gratification I had never experienced before, powerful sexual gratification and once experienced required constant attention. Once experienced it somehow it must be sated and I found myself looking for new stimulus to fulfill this need. I wasn't sure I could force myself to repress those feelings, but I had to find way to control them, before they ended me.

I decided on a schedule, I would limit myself to a couple of times a week. Maybe this would keep things in check and let me get back to some kind of normal life. What I had failed to consider was I had already began changing and wasn't thinking about what more would change. I was now wearing women's underwear every day and it felt completely natural. I so caught up in my experience I failed to see where things might lead and it started leading me almost as soon as I accepted I would continue.

The changes started small, little things, how I felt about certain things such as shopping for new lingerie. It wasn't long before I found myself considering other feminine articles of clothing, sleepwear, slippers, and even some rather skimpy and sexy items. These I found myself modeling before and during some of my sessions. As the days went on, I once again ventured to wear my stockings to work. The experience was somewhat distracting but as much and I came to realize just how much better I felt when I wore them.

For the next several weeks, I continued my scheduled sessions and though I would lose track of time, it was usually only about an hour or so and the realization was no longer scary. I mixed up my wardrobe, purchasing some new items to allow me some variety and increase the excitement. Before I quite realized it, I had an entire selection of not just panties and stockings, but pantyhose, garter belts, bras, teddy's, and more. I'd emptied out my wife's old dresser, discarding what she'd left behind and had managed in a few weeks to practically fill it with my own new delicates.

After almost 4 weeks, the changes in my behavior began to get more pronounced. I had started regularly consuming my own cum and found that the taste of it excited me. If this wasn't extreme enough, I began feeling less satisfied with just dressing in feminine underwear. During one session, the scenes weren't as much sexually oriented as some of the others as oriented to looking and felling more feminine. I found myself considering more drastic changes and it started with giving myself a pedicure and painting my toenails. No one ever saw my feet, so wearing pink polish on my toenails was another naughty little secret I kept from those I interacted with every day.

I watched this same video over several sessions and each time brought about a new idea for change. The next change came while I was shopping. I needed deodorant and shaving cream, so while I was looking over options I happened to glanced down a see a women's razor. There was nothing special about it, but I seemed drawn to its pink color. Before I knew it, I had dropped into my shopping cart. I still needed shaving cream and without thinking picked up a can feminine shaving cream to add to my cache. It wasn't until later that night when I was getting ready for my shower, I realized the error.

As I stood naked in the bathroom considering whether I would use the women gel on my face, I caught a glimpse of myself in the mirror. I looked like any other guy but somehow the fact that my legs were rather hairy disturbed me. Somewhere deep inside of me I made the decision that I would fix that tonight, after all I had everything I needed to do it. Fifteen minutes later, I was once again standing gazing at my reflection and the sight of my now hairless legs was pleasing. Tonight was session night and the experience was somehow more satisfying.

Several days later, once again in the bathroom admiring my legs, something seemed suddenly out of place. I wasn't sure what it was, but something just didn't seem to be right about my reflection. Another two days past and I had another session, after this one it came to me what was off in my reflection. I had shaved my legs but left the hair around my crotch. I unconscious knew that need to go as well and if it did, it would feel amazing. Later the next day I shaved my privates. This turned out to much easier said than done and at one point managed a few nicks in all the wrong places. Still when emerged from the shower and looked at my reflection I was immediately aroused by how sexy it looked.

I was never a very hairy guy but I did have some hair in other places, but before the week was out, the only hair on my body was on my head. I stood for several long minutes admiring my smooth hairless body. The fact that it was a turn on wasn't surprising, what was surprising was how absolutely sexy I felt when I got dressed to go to work the next day. I sported my usual panties and chose this day to wear a matching garter belt and hose. Once these were in place an overwhelming sense of sensuality came over me. I was so turned on by the feel of it all that I had masturbate just to calm myself down.

After my unusual morning, I shouldn't have been surprise by what happened once I got into work. The day had been far worse than the first day I wore the stockings, so much so, that a quick run to the restroom to relieve myself didn't bring me back into focus. If nothing else things got worse and I ended up telling my boss I need to go home as I wasn't feeling well. Surprisingly, he noted I did look a little flushed and urged me on my way. Once home there was only one thing I could think of that might help me get back under control, another session. By the time it was done it was 2am and felt completely spent, but strangely content.

I skipped my next session trying to concentrate on work and my household chores. This time also gave me the opportunity to think about what was happening to me. I first needed to decide if I wanted to continue or if I didn't would I be able to stop myself. I considered the changes I had already made and thought about what might be coming. I also considered how I felt about it all and realized, even with these overwhelming sexual feelings, I was more at ease and less stressed than I had been before. Maybe what was happening was good for me, maybe deep down it was what I had wanted all along.

Dressing and looking more feminine felt right to me. It seemed as though my body had brought it all to my minds attention. I began looking at other changes to appear and feel more feminine. My lower body was pretty enough, with my smooth skin and painted nails, it was my upper body that seemed out of place. I considered makeup. This took some time, first off I was completely clueless about what makeup was or how to apply it, but the computer provide numerous videos on what and how to do it. The next obstacle was buying it. Men don't usually buy makeup so online shopping provided me with an answer.

I took several weeks to get all of my purchases, then with my videos as a guide, I began practicing making myself up. The first few tries were awful, but I persevered and found that I could do a fairly decent job of it. My sessions too, began changing. They were now no longer the intense sexual sessions I had started with, they changed along with me. I took my time to not only dress sexy but to make myself up as well. I began spending about an hour before each session to prepare myself, each one bringing a new less intense level of satisfaction, but each one pleasurable all the same.

Then my life took another turn and the sessions on the computer were responsible. I had begun feeling those old sexual frustrations again. Something inside wanted a new experience and as the days wore on, the feeling grew inside of me. After one more sexually intense session, I was sitting in front of my computer, I had climaxed several times so was exhausted, but I was also still so incredibly turned on as I licked at my cum covered fingers. The musky smell filled my nostrils and the salty flavor of it seemed to speak to me, beacon me to something new. I closed my eyes and began to fantasize about licking and swallowing cum. As the sexual desires in me rose, I suddenly imagined myself being sprayed with spurt after spurt of hot delicious cum.