All Comments on 'Corporate Family Dinner Ch. 01: Alternate'

Are you really going to try and resell this piece of crap again? Dress it up? You reign as king of the morons now.

...it was unbelievable the first time...

As someone who admires your writing, particularly your OTHER stories, please reconsider your present course. You're going to burn a lot of time only to end up with a lot of depressing comments. Why not just drop this and move on????

If Bob loved Elaine, it is his job to protect her. I would never let another man monopolize my wife's evening. We went as couple and would come home as couple. Bob should have nipped it in the bud when he saw another man making a move toward Elaine. After that if Elaine ask to go let her know bags would be in garage or in a storage facility. Elaine just needed husband to show his manhood and reclaim the love of his life. He never fought for his wife while she was weak. That is what I wanted to see for alternate chapter.

...it has to be here, in this story. I don´t like the way everything transpires...too slow...too meek.It being obvious what is happening here he should get out the axt and start acting. After all: Who wants to be married to a whore?

The difference between a whore and a cheating whore is that the whore is honest about who she is and is not lying and deceiving her husband. Most men would not want to be married to a whore. Most women know this. When she cheated it was an expression of the total lack of concern she felt for her husband AND daughter. She lied to both of them and was not there for them. This makes the course of action very clear. He has to get his cheating wife out of his life, and out of his daughters life. This is simple logic. I do not understand why some people do not grasp this.

I agree with @sugna..."The difference between a whore and a cheating whore is that the whore is honest about who she is and is not lying and deceiving her husband..."...This story is all about this truth...still 3*

You really need to let this go. You are obsessed because you finally received some comments. The writing is less than adequate. This horse is dead. Find a different one. It may be wise to find professional help for your obsessive/compulsive personality disorder.

... but if you do and said horse dies, you can stop beating it. Like this story, resuscitation is impossible.

It does a better job of explaining and illustrating that Bob's and Elaine's marriage was already over, and Elaine new it. What Elaine was trying to do was establish a new, non-exclusive uncommitted relationship. Except she excluded Bob from the decision over two years ago to end their normal marriage and become a prostitute, which then evolved into sex craving slut. And she acted unilaterally to become one of the company's whores, ostensibly to further Bob's career and the family's wealth. Sending Susan to break the news to Bob, and throw him a consolation fuck if he wanted it, was her final act of detachment and disrespect. At this point in the story Elaine's character is well illustrated and confirmed by her actions. The end of the marriage was just a matter of time and process.

Succeeding chapters morphed Elaine into this totally different person, contrite, remorseful, suddenly wiser with regained intelligence and scruples. No longer greedy, selfish, and cruel. But it was too late, which made the story lame and awkward. Then Bob, here cautious and thoughtful, in later chapters is also morphed into a confused and hurt victim, but at the same time a philandering pussy hound seeking some sort of sexual compensation or payback. And all his spouting about revenge and retribution against the company exec's was blatant bullshit. They invited his wife to be their whore for a few days, and she accepted. Hell, it was the culmination of her planning, exercising, and ambition! His promotion was never discussed or bargained for. Elaine had simply used the company dinner as her coming out party, revealing herself as the open gold mining prostitute of a bland clueless timid husband. A husband she intended to keep for fathering her daughter and providing maintenance sex for her, when she wasn't getting better elsewhere.

After reading this amended chapter the rest of the story becomes way too long, and the eventual divorce an obvious outcome. All the fucking and philosophizing and commiserating between this chapter and the final outcome was a waste of time, and a waste of good but misdirected writing effort. What a shame.

You have better talent that this work displays. I hope you will take the opportunity to display that talent at its best very soon.

The whole idea of the "after party" was ridiculous on its face.

If nothing untoward is going to happen, why should husbands be excluded?

And since husbands WERE excluded, the ONLY rational response is for him to grab her arm and tell they are going home, and if she doesn't come with him, then don't bother coming home at all!

As far as I can see, this rewrite didn't add anything to the clarity of the previous chapters. It is simply a rehash of the facts and for the most part just looks like a cut-and-paste of the previous sections that the rewrite addressed.

This was not a complex story and the first version covered it adequately.

I read through the story - it doesn't add anything to the original! Try writing one

of your own rather than doing a "cut and paste" of a story we originally enjoyed!

You should be reported for copying and pasting under your name. Write something original.

gave this a 5

Leave it alone and move on.

It was the last few chapters. A rewrite from chapter 5 on, either with a different ending, or the same ending, but handled better, is what the story needs.

VOTE 1* FOR EVERY STORY RATED BY THAT TRANNY BITCH FOOL VASTIESMITH2 AKA BONNIETAYLOR2 AKA ANON!

I struggled through this mess the first time. And the ending you gave us just wasn't worth the slog. I'm not doing it again. Save your breathe.

Why are you doing this story again? Once was enough...

To make it look good. The original sucked, everything you've ever thought about writing sicks and you suck. Go away.

of this damned story already. Can't you write about anything else? 1*

I gave up on chapter 5 or 6, can't remember. This is fine for those who want to read a simple fuck fest story, I prefer some more depth to the characters but this rewrite does not address that omission. I do not have a problem with the premise, this is fiction on Literotica but it does not work. There were rumours about what happens at these after party parties, yes in the workplace there often are rumours floating around and not much heed is taken of them, mostly people with a vivid imagination about a variety of subjects. Given the rumours, his wife exceptionally sexy attire, the extra special attention paid to her by management and finally her saying she leaving him to continue partying with other men, well one does not have to be a maths genius to quickly add that sum together. Even a work of fiction has to be plausible and I cannot think that a husband would just stand there and let her walk away. Enjoy your writing and good luck.

Enough with this piss poor story all ready. The original sucked ass so move on and JUST LET IT GO! Literotica has truly gone to the dogs this month with re-writes of re-writes of mediocre stories and now a re-imaging of plain a bad one.

When you find yourself stuck in a hole its best to stop digging!

I so wish you hadn't rewritten chapter 1. You took a 5 and turned it into a 2. Please take it easy on your rewrite of chapter 2, please. xoxo Annette

I had fun reading through the comments but i agree, please stop with this "story"

As soon as coke was brought into the story I stopped reading and will not read the rest of the chapters. Hard drug use is a total turn off for me.

Justbobkc I know you can write , you proved that to me on the RichardGearald alt. ending story.

Knowing that just makes me scratch my head over every chapter in this series after chap.2 .

To me it seemed like you had these sterotypes and statistics (although I truly question these ) in your mind, and the story was just a vehicle for you to espouse them. Just one man's opinion for what it's worth.

2*'s

Cpprcrk

....for you to think about:

1. The lake is too far for me, but Jeff is going and you can go with him too, if you want to. Please read this sentence carefully 25 times and commit its structure and use of the words "to" and "too" to memory."Too" is either adverbial (too far, too cold, too much, etc., connoting an extent beyond, answering the question how much?) or equivalent to "also" (I want to ride that big, stiff cock too!). You get wrong far too (see, there it is again!) often.

2. If you want to emphasize or show stress on a word, try italics, rather than ALLCAPS. You may not be able to do so in the somewhat difficult, html-like editing environment, here, so perhaps something else like leading and trailing asterisks, like, "she was *so* hot, her pussy was pouring", instead. Why? In the culture of text, ALLCAPS is the equivalent of SHOUTING, and becomes very annoying after a few times. You use ALLCAPS far too often.

I'd advise more editing effort or editorial help, above fussing too much about the story, per se.

But thanks, anyway. It was an improvement.

At this point,vI'd move on.....any changes you make now, will not garner you much praise...sadly, that ship has sailed....now that the cat is out of the bag....

The description is sort of a lie! "A wife strays" sort of implies that this is the first time, but as we found out from Susan, she has ALREADY been "straying"!

Structurewise this was a modest improvement on the original, some thing are clearer altough still with some flaws (the changing viewpoint while clear, are very awkward) I think you would have been better served by doing the entire story in 3rd Person POV or, if you really wanted to go 1st Person, have less frequent changes on the POV character.

As for the sex description I really, REALLY disliked the changes made. The fake coyness of the new description not only does it sound awkward and un-erotic but also further objectifies the women (ie it doesn't show how they are being used and objectified by their partner, it makes them pretty much tools in use from a reader's POV). The orignal descriptions were far better.

What a waste of my time reading this absolute crap story......

I hope all these fuckers get absolutely destroyed by the end of this story.

Dont read that idiotic crap!! Its only for perverts (cuckolds) or brain sick ones!!

sucks.

If this was my wife, I would have carried her out and pitched her in the car. Tied her with the seat belt, gone back inside and kicked 'call me Sam' in the nuts, quit and walked out. Once back at the car, I would TELL the wife that if she wants this night to never come home as there will not be one. Only a folder with papers for divorce. And she will never see me or our daughter again. Then leave her there in the trunk of the car.

I would drive home, let her out, and let her decide. If she said anything but yes dear, she would need a place to stay. She would have heard me tell her that she would be returning with me that night or never again five seconds before we left home and to answer me on her choice.

As for Mr. Rich Fuck, if I found out she had cheated, she would then tell me when she started, who got her started, the names of the clients, the addresses of each house, and she would be forced to watch everyone at each house burn to death, then she would watch her friend explode by being over filled by an air compressor. She would die insane, knowing that her cheating ways led to her death.

In her future

Insipidly stupid. No company not based in a third-world country would allow this. Instead of working there a minute longer, a NORMAL man would contact the press, the State's Attorney, and a good attorney.