Cory, Corrie 01

Cory, Corrie 01

Hi there, just in case it works, I blame society, peer pressure, the family, the economy, car dealerships, my educational environment, the river, critters with multiple legs, the color teal, carpeting, the weather and everyone who pronounced my name as "Corrie" instead of "Cory" going way back just because I so happened to have one of those faces.

But I appreciate that teal is my color and I'm actually grateful that I can finally blame some people for assigning "Corrie" to me full time. It just lessens the confusion. Or it created more confusion that I could ever imagine, but things seem to fit better, so hey, I'm Corrie and I'm on a mission to figure out where I belong.

Anyways, I don't know what to say about myself. I mean, it's all up to you and your personal tastes, right? Some will like me and some won't, but either way, my arrow points straight ahead and that's where you will find me. But my arrow has changed directions a few times. I have landed in the middle of those "some won't" crowds before, so if I'm not where you thought I might be, LOL, ask which way they sent me packing and bring me an Icy or a Smoothie.

Anyways, I've been sent packing from all of the normal riverside parks, the old abandoned bridge, the Wrecked River Boat, the abandoned Train Station, the old abandoned Air Field, the Highway Turn Around, Beaver's Dam, Look Out Point, McKensie's Curve, the Creek and Cellar's Cove, so try looking for me first at the Log Jam spot. But on the landlocked dry logs. I'm not a lumberjack and I just don't have enough cushion to land on my butt, so. And on the smoother and weather worn dry logs. Even the smallest of log burrs and fishnets are not friends, so.

And by the Log Jam spot, I mean just to the west of the unofficial, official Log Jam spot. I'm just now starting to worm my way, I mean, warm my way into the Wet Loggers crew. And I'm approaching my possible new crew differently this time and with more reserve. I mean, it's just a stupid rumor that my catch phrase is "I just got caught up with things" and the aforementioned crews who sent me packing were not justified to label me with that catch phrase, not to mention post it on Chang. It's just that I sometimes get caught up with that touchy feely stuff sometimes, that's all, so.

And it's funny how no one posted how they were involved with the "caught up in a moment" stuff, right? And who invented that flashy "finger pointing" GIF anyways? With teal nail polish.

Anyways, every story has to start somewhere, so it's not that I'm avoiding talking about all of the previous "side fag" crews that sent me packing when they figured out that I simply don't take things very far, so my story with my last gasping chance with the Wet Loggers crew.

And with my nerd buddy, Chip, but he has never minded that I went full time Corrie a while back, so Chip is more of my safety net, I guess.

The city of Middleton not only sponsors a river Parade of Lights Festival on the river to kick off the summer festival, for a $5 overnight camping fee, everyone who wants to make an overnight on the river can do so. And it's actually pretty decent. I mean, families and groups pretty much take over the normal parks, but that leaves a lot of smaller areas wide open for first come, first serve, which is code for a crew probably already claims this spot, so move along. And it's a great way to reduce buzzed driving, right? And since it's Friday evening to Saturday morning, there isn't a great need for a lot of equipment. I mean, a tent, a couple of coolers, sleeping bags and a couple of lawn chairs, right?

Also, LOL, it's more like the zig zagging and sideways Parade of Lights because apparently, keeping a bunch of river boats in tight formation isn't easy.

So, I want to lie to you and tell you that my overnight tent was in the middle of the mix with the Wet Loggers crew, but the best I can honestly say is that I could see them and they could see me if they glanced to the west and that's that, I guess.

But I can honestly say that I did my best to look like a lumberjack. Shorts, tights, boots and a fashionable black and dark purple plaid lumberjack button shirt. If lumberjacks wear black and dark purple. Or I don't know jack about lumberjacks, for short.

I can also honestly say that having a "non" bothered friend like Chip is a blessing. Not that he took over with the setting up of our tents.

"Alright, Corrie, our tents our facing directly east, just as you bickered and bickered about, which I only bring up because I know what you're doing."

I mean, even the Wet Loggers crew has their female members, so. And it's not like threw a hissy fit until he had our tents pointing in just the right direction so that I, I mean, someone could lay on their belly in their campout jammies and peer through the front of the tent with a cheap pair of spy binoculars and watch for the "goings on" in the next camp area just after "lights out" or anything, so.

"Shut it, Dale. But with your soda bottle bottom glasses, you should have a nice view."

"OMG, that's Lena just through the tree line. You modeled your style based on Lena, right, Corrie?"

"Shut it, I said. Um, the portable toilets are over the berm and you can make a center fire if you want to, not that I'm worried about critters. Only, the fire rings that the Rangers spread around, I mean, do you roll one or what? They look heavy. And I'm not saying that you don't have muscle, Chip, but I should say that I'm not helping lift one of those damn things!"

"(Freaking "Corrie" issues!) I mean, one of us could poke our head through the tree line and ask a few of those guys to help us, I mean, me. Not that I'm saying you would be better at that, but I am saying that you will get a better reaction. I mean, we hang out and I've seen how certain guys respond to you, so do what you do then. Just don't go getting all "caught up with things" or anything just yet, alright Corrie?"

Huh, those were like the most personal words that I had ever heard Chip speak with me, so, huh? I mean, he didn't need to finish off with that "caught up" thing, but huh. I mean, that's a true supporter and friend, right?

"And if you speak with any of the girls, I mean, say "hey" for me and say it like my guns are pumped up!"

Ahh, true friends, right? Do my dirty work while you're flirting and nothing else bothers me, LOL.

"LOL, {strikes the guns pumped pose}, like this, Chip?"

"Yeah, but make sure literally everyone knows that you're the only one who wears a sports bra."

Well, it was campout night on the river and I got a little caught up with that "wrapped up tight" look, that's all. And maybe I got caught up leaving one too many buttons of my lumberjack shirt unbuttoned. Again, that's all, so.

Anyways, they say that you should always try to bring something when visiting someone during a special event and even though all I was doing was approaching the tree line that separated the River Log Jam spot from our grassy spot, I mean, I was still visiting, so I brought a pre-purchased and well planned out gift, not that I knew in advance that I was going to worm, I mean, warm my way in one way or the other.

"So, I mean, so."

"Huh, Corrie, my science class homework tutor who asked as many questions about all the different styles of undies as he did real science questions. And I'm not mad because you were actually my best girlfriend back then, so."

"Hi, Lena, I mean, Chip needs some help with the fire ring and your crew seems to be the type who could help him with that, so?"

"Chippy? Chippy is your crew tonight during campout?"

"Chip. Chip has guns now, so it's just Chip."

"Hmm. What's in the bag then, Corrie? And stop with the "guns pumped up" pose immediately. It doesn't work for you. So, what's in the bag, hmm?"

"Oh, Lena, there is a bag in this bag then."

"I mean, I don't know all of the rules, Corrie, but how long does a bag that's in another bag stay in the bag then before someone lets the cat of the bag then, hmm?"

"Um, Lena, before I let the bag that's in my other bag out of the bag, I mean, I will understand if it finds its way to your "Sunday best only" selection. It's kind of fancy, so."

"Well, Corrie, you look like you have good taste these days, so whatever is in the bag that's concealing the other bag, I mean, it might be a bag that I could possibly use on another day then, so let the cat of the bag then and show me what kind of bag you have for me in your other bag then."

"Alright, I'm getting tongue tied, so it's time to let the cat out of the bag then and reveal the bag that I've concealed in the other bag now. I mean, Lena, you were raving on Chang about your new goth queen's TV mystery solving show and then I binged the show and then I noticed the bag that she used and then I absolutely busted my ass to find the bag that she wore in the TV show and it's actually better than I could have imagined, so ta, da, I give to you, the bag from inside of my other bag!"

I mean, it was a cool ass leather backpack that held its firm rectangular shape and its size was perfect for Lena's small frame, even though it wouldn't hold a spare pair of combat boots. But other than that, it was whip ass perfect with whip ass buckles! And TV cool, so.

"Hmm, huh, well, this is sweet as hell, Corrie. [Flips leather backpack over and around]. Well, go down to the wet logs that are jammed up while I make a backpack switch over in private and grab yourself a couple of guys then, not that I meant it to sound that way since Chang has your catch phrase identified as "I get caught up with things" and all. But stay off of the wet logs, Corrie! I don't want it on my conscience that you slipped onto your butt, which would cause one or more of the guys to respond and come to your rescue, which might lead to a "caught up in it" type of "rescue" given how nicely you're turned out, so. I mean, some boys will be boys, but some other boys like, well, you."

"I mean, I see Ronnie down there by the wet logs, so?"

"Ron. Ron has real guns now, but I do know that Ron follows you on Chang, so."

LOL, followers, lurkers, side fags for a guy who looks like Corrie no matter what, it's all the same, right?

"Whoa, whoa, whoa, Corrie! Hold up. We have two more things to chit chat about before you go test the waters near the wet logs."

I mean, "whoa, whoa, whoa" is worse than "you're bleeding and need immediate surgery", right?

"Ooh."

"Shut it, lumberjack. I mean, huh, in the dark and with a full moon tonight, right?"

"Lena, we don't look that much a like tonight. I mean, sure, my hair looks like your hair tonight, but trust me, no one is going to mistake us each other, even if we were both face smashed into the air mattress, so."

"LOL, just wanted to hear you say it, Corrie, carry on and stay off of the wet logs!"

Well, I mean, well, Chip already made his stupid "copycat" statement anyways, so.

Also, wow, the closer you get to the water-logged river logs, wow, that's some dangerous stuff! Unless you're a lumberjack! Or, LOL, nope, I'm a part time lumberjack, so there was no way in hell that I was going step onto any of those logs that were half in the river and half on the banks!

"Um, hey, Ronnie? Ronnie?"

"Hey, Corrie! What the hell are you doing outside, I mean, down here at the River Log Jam then?"

"I mean, Chip needs some help with the fire ring and the Baker brothers just seem to be horse playing on the wet logs, so?"

"Chippy? Chippy is your muscle for tonight then, Corrie?"

"Chip. And his muscles are tired from putting up two tents that basically snapped themselves into place, so?"

"Huh, so, I mean, can we get caught up in a little something if I ask the Baker brothers to go help Chip, then?"

"Well, it is my catch phrase and all, but that's not a "full speed ahead" signal for any sexual advances, Ronnie."

I mean, I could have waved my arm in the air and snapped my fingers too. Also, I mean, you all heard me say it, right? And I didn't forget to use the word "not", right? Or do certain guys just not hear "not" or "no" or "stop that" or "hey, that was nice" or things like that then?

"Ronnie, I'll confess that I knew these dry logs were just off the other tree line, so?"

"Corrie, I'll confess that I hope I don't slip into the wrong tent tonight after "lights out", so?"

[Mwah, ummah, smack]

LOL, Chip will hope that too, right?

"We can't be long, Ronnie, but you smack back pretty good."

[Mwah, ummah, smack, mwah, oomph, ow]

"Ronnie, Ronnie, slow down, I'm losing my balance. And snagging my tights on the log burrs."

[Mwah, ummah, smack. Oomph, uhf]

"Well, it's not like I'm trying to knock you off balance, Corrie, so that you land on your knees."

[Mwah, ummah, smack]

"Ronnie, I'm not fiddling with you down there in public."

[Mwah, ummah, smack]

"The riverbank tree line dry logs are not in public, Corrie!"

Stupid geographical type people and their "technically correct" answers to everything!

[Mwah, ummah, smack, oomph]

"I got to go, Ronnie. I'm starting to get caught up with all this."

[Mwah, ummah, smack, smooch]

"I mean, Corrie, studies have shown that it's dangerous to lock the zippers on a tent and it's campout weekend and studies show that easy access is the best policy, so???"

Hmm, no, right? Also, LOL, easy access, yeah, right! Not in my lumberjack shorts! Oh, wait, maybe he was thinking of my appropriate long legged cotton pants with the little tie string campout jammies that is easy to pull and untie, like after "lights out" or something, so, hmm.

"Alright, Ronnie, I can feel from our embrace that your body is convulsing and I don't want to you die, so you can give me one of your fairly detailed "next step" explanations, but be quick about it. I can hear Lena humming, so?"

"Oh, Corrie, since it's campout Friday night and because studies have shown that silence is the key to tent sex, so instead of drilling you from behind and risk having you yelp a bit, I mean, it will be, I mean, it should be about stuffing your mouth with my river log at first, so?"

Oh, quick math, Ronnie is too tall to stand in the tent and whew, at least I wouldn't or shouldn't, as he put it, have a sore butt, maybe.

"I mean, Ronnie, hypothetically speaking, I mean, are we both laying down or haven't you read up on that study then?"

"Oh, Corrie, studies have shown that a "only fag on the side" relationship does not start out with or end up in a "69" position, if that's where you're going with that question."

"Ronnie, that wasn't where I was going with that. So, are we both naked, half naked or just enough naked to get the job done then? And your topic of your study is a blow job, right?"

I mean, I just dress and act weird. I don't know jack about lumberjacks or what lumberjacks want, so.

And that's where something happened and just in time too because I had somehow started in with the sex details, which was scary. The other thing that happened was the unmistakable sound of a crashing down fire ring. Or a fender bender in the camp area.

[Clank, clang, swirl, swirl, plop]

"[Mwah] I think I have a picture in my head, Ronnie, but not tonight."

And with that and with an imagine of me, ewe, crawling between his legs, maybe not so ewe, I was off towards the top of the berm, thanks for my lumberjack boots. And swung back around to the campout area.

"Hmm."

"Oh, I was just getting my snacks cooler from over the berm, Lena and then I got caught up with talking with Ronnie, so?"

"Hmm, whatever, flappy lips. Anyways, Corrie, am I supposed to wear the body suit that I found inside of the bag that was inside of the other bag then, hmm?"

"Shut it, Lena, it's cute and it will fit you very well and it's your color, so. Well, it's 90-10 with your color of black and my color, but the swashes of teal are like small brush strokes and not over whelming, so."

"Alright, that's a tie, but what about the cheap pair of binoculars then, hmm? Which, if they were in my bag that you gave me from your other bag by mistake, I'm keeping them anyways so I can lay down in my tent and spy on your tent for funny "goings on" since you made sure Chippy, I mean, Chip lined up your tent perfectly with my tent. I mean, huh, that's a straight on eye sight, right Corrie?"

Oh, no, no, I did not leave my spy binoculars in her fancy leather back pack by mistake! That's called snooping around in my tent while Ronnie and I were smacking lips to the side and while Chip and the Baker brothers were man handling and rolling the center fire ring! Not that I'm stating for public record that Ronnie engaged in "fag on the side" lip smacking with me or that I got caught up with it too, so.

"Anyways, Corrie, I'm still trying to figure you out, so do you want to hear me say that I've decided to go ahead and wear the nice body suit that you gave me as my campout jammies tonight, so?"

"(Stutter, stutter, stutter) I mean, Lena, I mean, well, the weather is good tonight and I mean, what small spy binoculars and all, so?"

"Hmm, I'm not mad, Corrie. Oh, and by the way, I mean, geez, I don't know what happened, but the short video that I just sent you somehow just got cut off just as I started to change into the body suit that you gave me to wear as campout jammies, but I really do like the way it fits me and it's almost like sex to pull it on, so? And by pull it on, I mean, shake and shimmy it into place and with plenty of those finger rolls to get the seams just right everywhere. Which the video just missed somehow, Corrie."

Um, yep, that was enough to start my body to shake and shimmy, just like Ronnie's body was just doing a few moments before.

"Oh, LOL, so the lumberjack still likes girls then, hmm? I mean, girls who lay on their belly in a leotard body suit and kick their feet up behind them as they spy across the way with small spy binoculars that nobody seems to know about, right? And the spying will be for the safety of the crew from critters and such, of course."

Um, there must be a study somewhere that shows that torture works, right?

"(Stutter, stutter, stutter.) Um, on your belly with your feet kicking over your back then, Lena?"

"I mean, guys like that stuff, right lumberjack? Huh, I mean, Chip is all man now, so."

"(Stutter, stutter, stutter.) This isn't fair, Lena!"

"LOL, just wanted to hear you say it, Corrie! So, what does a fem boy lumberjack do then when that fem boy lumberjack gets a boner, huh? I'm curious, Corrie."

Huh, as it turns out, huh, I guess I was curious too! But with no one around to cross reference a study about that, LOL, I didn't know jack about what a fem boy lumberjack developed a lumberjack.

Also, sorry for the less than exciting ending, but nothing. I mean, I bit my tongue and let time do her thing, but that was it. But that was well before the Parade of Lights started and way, way before it was "lights out" time.

End Cory, Corrie 01