All Comments on 'Could You Be Mine?'

Stellar.

A lovely story of hope, and love. Made me cry, laugh, shout in Triumph of love. Thankyou.

This was brilliant. Perfectly paced with winning characters.

too too long.

This is a really great love story!

You describe love at first sight so well and the build up between them is so realistic, fear, nerves, jealousy and uncertainty makes this story work so well!

Thank you!

This is everything a love story should be! If you can cut the sex scenes from a story, and it is still a great story, then you really have something.

This is an amazing story. Love the proper use of the English language. Love the build up. Love the confidence . More please

The best lesbian romance I have ever read. I liked it that you had such a powerful woman as RJ be unsure of herself when it came to love. Both she and Ellie were so nervous that the object of their desire would not want them. When they kissed it was magic and it was so neat that you preceded it by Ellie asking to hold her hand, just like young teens. I can now enjoy imaging how their lives proceed into the future.

Remarkable. Amazing.

Love this story..

Also because it doesn't just dump into the sex, bul slowburn instead..

Keep on the good work

Greetings, Belinda

Really wonderful story. I really appreciate the way you let the relationship build over a reasonable length of time in the story, even despite Lauren’s initial infatuation. You were patient and the characters and story are better for it.

Please keep writing for us, it’s a gift and a true pleasure.

A truly beautiful love story. We love a person for who they are not just their sex.

As to those who say straight women don't suddenly become gay, 50 years ago the wife of one of the group of couples we socialised with, with two children the same age as ours, left her husband to be with a F work colleague and they moved away together to a new city and new jobs. I never heard from her again, but learnt they were together for at least the next 30 years.

I have another friend who also was married and had children but has been with her F partner for over 30 years.

great story, beautifully written. might look for another one to read. thank you

Wait. There’s more? OMG.

One of the best stories I’ve read on Literotica. A rare 5Star from me. Thank you.

I've read this several times...still think way hot, love the characters-very likable

...

Wow, everytime I read it, it gets even better. Thank you. Your talent of painting with words is amazing.

This story was exquisite in so many ways!

Anticipation to life

As spice to meals

With both you notice

And not for granted

I have read this at least six times, and probably will again.

Your ability to choose exactly the right word for the situation is excellent. I struggle with it continuously; sometimes I think I read more dictionaries and thesauruses than actual fiction. It really makes me happy when I come across a word or phrase in your writing that is so perfectly dead on.

Every time AFreakingAmazing!

I'm about to give this story 5 🌟's but that's only because I can't give it 6. I did want you say a couple of things.

The first is, don't listen to those who think the story is too long. Many people are somewhat hurt by the time they find their soulmate and it takes time to be sure that both are really on the same page. Some will find a story about the dance intriguing others may not. Just know that your story is beautiful.

Sexond, to those who believe that the story isn't realistic, I say their view of the world is to narrow. The heart knows its path, and some are willing to trust fate. Having shared both straight and lesbian relationships I found you characters, dialog, and story quite believable.

I too have felt a woman look at me as a "challenge" and felt the wildness in the blood that it can cause.

Great work!

Loved it! Easy favourite.

ditto Anon 14 days ago...at least third, if not more...

love the suspense, and passion...and Ellie choosing the electric blue for their first...gawd!

this easily in my Best Ever folder

PS and, I think for first time, glanced right and saw there a Pt 02-damn!!

This is also a comment for Lexi

I have a female freind that considered herself straight until her late 20s. A teamate from her softball team spent a few months wooing her and they have been together now for over 20 years.

One of the best stories ive read and it gets better everytime.

To the critics…..if you can do it better, please do or otherwise keep your negative remarks to yourself. Not even life is perfect but you expect it from a storie????

One of my favorite stories ever. This the third time I have read it.

Regarding Lexi's comment: A college female freind was pursued by a gay aquiantance and they fell in love...that was almost 25 years ago and they still together, now happily married.

It may not be common, but it happens.

Superb! The romance was beautiful, the sex electric.

Sorry, I know this is fiction but straight to gay doesn't happen like this. From no lesbian thoughts to full on sapphic lust is a huge leap and usually made up in the sordid minds of males who think with their dicks rather than even researching how these things actually happen.

Nice story but, sorry, pure fantasy.

Lexi

If they grew up together going to the same summer camps how was she "adopted" when she moved to the city 5yrs ago?

Well done, Carey. You should be proud of this.

This was a love story in the making, sad for the reader that it took so long, but priceless for those that patiently wait for the enormous prize that awaits them. My only pet peeves are that how lot of straight women are missing out and that there are just too many beautiful gay and bi-women in this world that it would be tough for lesbians. This story took dedication, experience and knowledge to write or possessed with quite an imagination. Definitely a 5 star rating.

four stars i like this alot, so romantic,

four stars, i like this alot, so romantic,

Took a while for both RJ & Lauren to show each other their feelings but all in the lead up to engagement of bodies, minds in Ch 6. Enjoyed the story. Good work Carey. Both girls fell deeply in love & last took over

its very possible being straight & then lesbian. Just the thought stirs me! Cuple more chapters would be great. Again we'll done.

Wow that was really really really good! AND THERES ANOTHER PART?! Hell yeah!

The best of the best.

I love it, love it, love it!!

This is an excellent story, beautifully written. I am looking forward to reading part 2.

I loved it, an entertaining read, with fun, believable characters. Just beautiful.

An Anonymous wrote "A previously straight person doesn’t suddenly flip and become gay."

Granted that may be correct if the person is definitely confirmed as straight (and how do you do that?)

My closest friend all through our school days was 'straight' apart from when we explored and practiced together at around 14 years. She had a number of boyfriends, two really deep relationships before meeting and marrying the ONE. Two years into a happy marriage she met her RJ, fell for her immediately and although she tired to fight it, fell for her and had an affair. She confided in me. She was so emotionally torn but fell deeply in love with her RJ. She was honest with her husband, divorced him and is now married to RJ. She had never had desires for a woman before hand and only has eyes for one woman. They have two children and are still very much in love. Call her bi, lesbian or pansexual. Fact is the rules do not always apply. The heart does not care about rules.

Again congratulations CareyThomas on a wonderfully written story.

Raelene Maroney

Oh, how much I loved it. The story is so sweet and the writing so incredibly.

Thank you ❤️😌

A fun story and entertaining to read. I have one little nit to pick about it, however. (This was commented on previously but I feel it needs to be emphasized again.) A previously straight person doesn’t suddenly flip and become gay. I could see a situation in which the heretofore straight woman slowly falls in love with another person who happens to be female and then subsequently identifies herself as gay, at least with that one person. Here there was nothing to suggest Ellie was even bi prior to these events. Nice story otherwise.

Well, honestly I couldn't put this aside until I finished this chapter. Very well written and I loved the dance between these two as they slowly moved into a relationship. Almost dreading moving onto the next chapter as I'm sure you're going to throw some obstacles in their path. 5 stars,.

Love it, love it, love it!!

I DID SO NOT WANT IT TO END. I THANK YOU FOR THIS LOVE STORY.

“All things come to those who wait”. I love your style. Keep us waiting and .....

WHEW...SO hot!

Didn't recall reading this before, but did and glad I gave it 5 then, totally worth it.

hadn't realized there was a Ch 2-so looking forward to it, and promised more stories about them

This story was so everything, I couldn't put it down. I had to read it to the end and I'm so glad I did. LOVED IT.

This was just purely amazing

What an amazing story

that was smoking....wow!

Just wow!!

Love the way it was written and interplay between the characters!

Definitely on my list of favourite stories!

I truly loved every word. From the beginning, i imagined myself to be 'Ellie'..I couldn't wait to have sex with RJ, who I fell in love with. Thank you so much.

Love, Lisa Palmer

Because you write a great story, believable, correctly done, one that is a great mix of sex, relationships, and life in general. I'm happy that this story has a part 2, even when it didn't need one. The story ended as if it was planned to have only one chapter. Thank you.

I love your writing style, the multiple layers of interplay between the characters, and the added touches of humor. Thank you very much. One of the very best I've read. You are a truly amazing writer.

That’s was breathtaking.. it made me teary .. what a great love story .. thanks !!

That is hands down the best story I've read here. The humor, the interplay between L.E. and Ian, and the glorious happy ending. Bravo! It made me cry.

That's all I can say Damn Girl!!!!!

Wow. Just wow. Amazing Story!!!

I really liked this story a lot. I could totally see this being a regular movie.

I giggled several times and then when the finally got together I was just like aww..

All in all a nice read and I liked the slow build

Theres a lot of good stuff going on here. Your prose itself is decent. It doesnt really falter anywhere. The concept of the story is great as well. A newbie carefully seducing an emotionally unavailable lesbian. I like the character dynamic.

My biggest issues were centered on some of your character decisions.

I dont really buy, personally, the whole "switch flip" reasoning behind Lauren's gay-ifying. Maybe you've had a different experience, but for me it was a longer series of internal arguments and was nothing as simple as a "switch". I feel like you've burned a lot of interesting character work by simplifying it so much

I also have a problem with how you've handled RJ. You say shes never had a good relationship, but then casually undermine it with "oh you've just had bad blind dates". And then simply falls in love with ellie anyway. RJ didnt didnt do anything or experience anything that shlukd have changed her mind. You could have played a lot with RJ learning to open up and be vulnerable. Ellie teaches DJ how to love. Rj teaches ellie about being gay.

Having said that. You did do some good work here, and I did enjoy it. I havent read the second chapter yet but I will. Good work :)

Really enjoyed the slow buildup. There's even a lot of room for additional storyline as they develop their relationship. Well done!!

Love this story!!

It just happened to me again. Monday morning, two days ago. The manager making the hiring decision told the new senior group leader Friday evening over drinks, "You're hired. Can you start Monday morning?" Even HR didn't find out until the new guy was being introduced to everyone around the office. There he is, already "working" without even being covered by the corporate insurance plan.

As for me, I found out after 10 am when the New Employee form showed up in my e-mail. It takes 10 business days to get one of those sexy slimline executive laptops onto my desk. So why am I to blame when IT equipment isn't ready the day the new person starts?

This shite happens at least 10 times a year where I work. Most often with senior hires, which is typical and stupid.

Your writing carries the reader along with the skill only a born writer can command. I am hardly the first, and will not be the last, to say not to worry about the slow build up; as in any romance, that can be the part that makes the heart ache most, which, in reading a love story, is the sort of thing many of us like. The "will-they, won't they" part was done to perfection, and despite being sure they would end up together, you managed to make me wonder. If I could give this 10 it would not be enough. Thank you for a superb story.

Omg my stomach was full of butterflies reading this! This is one of the best love stories I’ve ever read on here! Great job!

I clicked on 4 by mistake - meant to click on 5.

The way you gradually build the RJ-LE relationship is spellbinding, and the sexual blossoming of the romance is totally gorgeous!

This is the first story of yours that I have read. I am delighted to have discovered you, and I will definitely be reading more!

As a first time reader here, i can say, i love it hehe, and i will surely gonna come back hehe. Thanks. I wish like Lauren I can experience it too haha not just out of curiousity but to experience the real feeling of having a gay lover.

Fourth time I’ve read this this year. It makes me laugh, in the right places, and takes me by surprise every time as if it were the first. The days drag whilst we wait for your new writing. Although the bar has been set high with Could you be mine.

Previously Carey, five years and four days and now, THIS! The story and characters were so well developed. I have a mental picture even for the supporting characters like Ian and Mona. So vivid. Carey Thomas, you are my favorite uthor!

Very sexy build up, I'd be keen to read the same story ageing written from RJs perspective! Great characters and solid writing

The build-up was perfect, and the release was exhilarating.

I was in Loren/Ellie's shoes the whole time. To have Rowan (LOVE the name, BTW!) reciprocating the flirting and building up the tension made me wish I were there.

TEN STARS.

I officially love the author. Been reading through your stories and so far I loved it.

This was my first story by you and I loved it... you are great at story telling..

This was an amazing story...almost too good to be on here thank you

Your stories jump out from the screen and come to life. I can never put my phone down until I have slurped up every last word... Thank you CT

I Loved this story, the long slow burn, the build up, the Payoff!

I'd say you're a lesbian Hemingway, but that would be akin to damning you with faint praise, how about a Lesbian Phillip K. Dick?

I'd babble on for hours, but I need to read Part two, NOW. Its only 2 o clock in the morning, here.

You took us into your life and have is the answer to your feelings . What a beautiful trip it was. Thanks for a lovely story..

I was so totally absorbed, I felt I was there not just reading.

Absolutely wonderful.

This is a very beautiful story. I really enjoyed every bit of it. I am gay but in a hostile country, wish I could be free to express myself.

I really injoyed your story. I know what it’s like to have the wind taken out of your sails!

After reading chapter 2, I just had to re-read this chapter again, and you know what? it's still a wonderful story!

I'm really hoping you write more, I'd love to read more of your work. Thank you for sharing this with us!

This is by far my favorite story I've ever read on here! If you'd published this I would read this all the time!

This is so the _hit!! It grabbed my attention from the word go til the very end. Never say never cause the Universe has a way of saying, "Oh yeah, we'll see about that" and bring you life experiences to test your gall. I'm so glad these two got to be each others. What a wonderful read. And thank you Carey for sharing your creatve work and energy with us yet again. All the best

Read this story after reading another of your submissions, excuse me for forgetting the name but you manage to keep the reader intrigued without too much sex. Wonderful im going to enjoy reading the rest of your submissions. Slow build up with an explosive end.

This was just flawless. I felt like this could be something I read about in a book, or see in a movie. MC falls in love with sexy, successful businessman/woman and they start to fall for each other. This story was just so sweet all the way through, I connected with the characters so easily, even though I am a straight guy. I could connect with how RJ was feeling when she was describing how her dates would be set-ups and she wouldn't feel any attraction, that's exactly how I felt. Communicating is one thing that my Aspergers isn't good with, I have a tendency to not communicate my feelings with significant others very well and my parents now that, so my mom always used to say and still sometimes says, "You'll know when she's the one because she'll love you for all of your flaws, including your shyness and lack of verbalizing how much you love someone, they'll always love you for your positive sides too."

A really well put together story, thoroughly enjoyed it from start to the excellent end! More of the same please

Loved it from beginning to end.

This is my introduction to your writing. I’m captured. Beautifully written. It flows with the characters and they become real people. Sophisticated story teller. This wonderful story requires more than one reading.

Thank you.

6th time reading this. So hooked that I keep coming back. Thank you for this story.

I am such a sucker for good romance stories, and this is one of the very best! I fell in love with all the characters (save the doofus finance guy). This is my 4th go around with this one...won't be the last. I watched "The Orange Shirt" Sunday night on PBS. Kleenex city. I think this would be a great story to see visually. I love happy endings. Thank you, thank you, thank you.

My second time reading this and it's just as wonderful as the first time. I am one who loves the long building ups; the longing, the anitcipation, the romance. So beautiful.

That was Soo heartwarming and erotic at the same time.. thank you for coming up with such a great story and hope to see more excellent reads from you

This was such an awesome story thank you!

I love all of your stories, but this one was just so good! This is my second time reading it (within a very short time), and it was just as good, or even better, than the first time I read it. Thank you for sharing this with us.

Oh, and I keep checking to see if you've uploaded any new stories! :D

Huge fan of your stories but also wanted to thank you for writing such well-developed Asian characters that never feel exoticized or fetishized. Descriptions of physical appearance is a big part of these stories, understandably, and I really appreciate that in your stories a wide spectrum of women are considered attractive.

One of the best stories ive ever read on this site! Sensual & so sexy but not over the top!!!!

I thoroughly enjoy your stories mostly becaue I can relate to your characters. They aren’t perfect. They’re realistic with flaws and do and say dumb embarrassing things like we all do. I feel like they could be people I know and would like. I find them engaging and they draw me into your stories. I can’t wait to find out what’s next for RJ and Lauren (as well as an update on Sasha and Sienna and Cal n Annie). Thank you.

I just loved this story. I am a Lesbian in a mans body. I loved the developing story and felt it was so real. Just enough sex towards the end. Thank you.

Charlene