Counselor Nick

Counselor Nick

Nick often deals with the problems of coeds in a Texas university

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Happy Birthday, Literotica! Your site has helped me to learn much about my writing, about myself, and about getting help! A lot has happened during these past 25 years, including #MeToo, Gay Marriage, Harvey Weinstein & Jeffrey Epstein, losing Roe versus Wade to name a few. Throughout Literotica has remained a rock, a place of hope and sanity for people like me. Thank you, Literotica.

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Call me Nick, or better, Counselor Nick. As you might surmise, my job in the university's counseling office can sometimes be interesting. For students like Kylee, a 20-year-old rising junior at a Texan institution of higher learning, in my notes I like to break the discussion down to six basic topics of discussion. Each topic occurred at a different session. Kylee may sound naïve, ignorant, and definitely innocent, but trust me: she is not alone like that.

I myself, on the other hand, am a wise old man. As of today I'm 25 years of age. I have known joy, and I have known heartbreak. The students who come to me for advice in the sexual realm sometimes seem straight out of that dubious website, Literotica. They have known incest, promiscuity, cheating paramours, cheating husbands and cheating wives, and all sorts of problems and issues relating to their nascent, or highly developed in some cases, sense of their sexual self. My job, of course, is to help them achieve emotional balance and thereby come to be at peace with themselves. Kylee may not be typical, but we had a special bond, since she reminded me of my little sister. In the case of Kylee we had seven sessions.

October 2, 2023

1.) How did I get pregnant (Kylee asked me)?

There are several steps to getting pregnant. The first one is to be born female. If you skip this step, you are, as we say, shit-out-of-luck. So let's suppose you're a woman (we're talking a cishet woman -- cishet means cisgender, heterosexual). We never assume these days. What's that you say? You just had a brutal breakup with your romantic partner? I see. You have sworn off men and therefore went off "the pill," which you never liked anyway because it gave you nausea, headaches, and worst of all -- mild weight gain. You no longer need the pill anyway, because carnal relations with men are history. Got it.

Due to the break-up with that asshole Ryan, however, you tailspin into a depression from which you cannot seem to escape. Susie invited you to a party. You decide to go and get so stoned and drunk your mind will pass into the transcendental plane, a hyperplane far away from reality. It's a perfect plan -- or it would have been if that new guy, what's his name, hadn't been there. We'll call him Dylan, since as you say, Susie calls him that. Dylan sweetly helps you get stoned and then gets you mind-bogglingly drunk on his special formula margaritas. Grateful to Dylan, and having transcended the relative, you follow him into a dark room, whose dominant feature is a double bed.

You don't make Dylan wear a condom because it never occurred to you because you're on the pill, you think, as if it were yesterday. Dylan doesn't wear a condom because it's up to the woman to protect herself from getting pregnant. He takes you doggy style so you don't see his wet cock devoid of a rubber, or even his not really ugly but definitely not handsome face and beer belly. Actually, you are so drunk you don't really see much of anything. Much better that way. You get two screaming orgasms out of the deal, and a missed period two weeks later. You did, however, manage to transcend the relative. Good for you.

October 4, 2023

2.) How do you know you're pregnant?

It's simple. You missed your period, right? Well, that's happened before; you never were that regular; I understand that -- it's not that uncommon. You look for your pregnancy tests and you gradually remember you dramatically threw out when you went off men. This is all Ryan's fault. You wait to see if you miss another period, and you do. You go to CVS and buy a few pregnancy tests and urinate on them (and on your fingers, too). Okay, so you're pregnant. How is that possible? Who the fuck is the father? It must be Ryan since you haven't fucked any guy since you went off men.... Oh, wait. There was that party. The party where you got so wasted you remember nothing. Maybe someone fucked you at the party? That would keep that asshole Ryan out of your life. Too bad you have absolutely no idea who it was who knocked you up.

October 6, 2023

3.) Where do you live?

Montana or Texas, you say? Well, we're currently in Texas. That's a state where you are shit-out-of-luck. It's better in Montana. However, your period of denial has led to an advanced gestational age of your fetus, so you're already screwed in terms of an abortion locally. It's too late. Maybe, though, you could visit your parents in Montana and quietly get one there? Why are you laughing?

October 9, 2023

4.) What do you do?

There's really only one thing. You can't get pregnant if you already are pregnant, so you call Susie and ask if she knows of another blowout party you could go to? Bring some rubbers, though -- not so much to avoid pregnancy; that ship has sailed. No, bring them to protect against STDs. No, it won't help your main problem, but maybe you'll stop crying and feel better?

October 11, 2023

5.) Get the advice of a doctor

What do you mean, you don't have a doctor? Haven't you ever been sick? How did you get the birth control pills in the first place? You got them online -- I see. What about student health? Oh. Yes, you're right: You don't need to be naked to get a flu shot. Right, you don't need to get naked for a Covid vaccine, either. Why did you agree to strip for the male nurse? Oh. Well, this isn't Montana. Maybe you should no longer follow Susie's recommendations? Try to get control of the pictures, although probably that ship has sailed, too.

Did you report the student health nurse? Oh. Well given that experience, I understand why you avoid student health. What about your pediatrician? Why is she in Montana? Oh, sorry, he. Maybe you want to visit your parents in Montana with a detour to the doctor? Yes, I'm sorry, you already explained why that's not an option.

Is there really a town called Powderville, Montana? On the Powder River, you say? It's near Broadus? Broadus has a population of 456? No, I didn't know about the Powder River battles of 1876 with the Sioux, Cheyenne, and Arapaho Indians. Sorry, yes, you're right: Native Americans. Powderville is around 100 miles East of Little Big Horn, maybe a little more. Yes, I've heard of the great battle of Little Big Horn. Your friend Susie hails from Billings? That's nice. Yes, I've heard of Billings. Nope: Never been there. Not Powderville, nor Broadus, nor Billings, but at least I've heard of Billings.

Yeah, I can see why you don't want to tell the only doctor in Broadus you got stoned, drunk, and knocked up in college, down in Texas. The Broadus doctor always has you strip naked, too? I can see why you thought that was normal with doctors. Yes, and normal with horses and cows, too, I'm sure. From now on, may I suggest you try not to use doctors who double as veterinarians. Yes, sometimes specialization is a good thing.

October 13, 2023

6.) Do it yourself with the Internet

Just be careful. There's a lot of shit on the Internet. Use reliable sites like the Mayo Clinic. Right -- that's its name and it's not a joke. No, don't go to those other sites. Those places prey on your fears, delaying you until it's too late to abort safely.

Really? They do that in Montana? Horseback riding to induce a miscarriage? Who told you that? Oh, of course. And Susie's friend Dylan can get you a horse? Is Dylan from Montana, too? That's right: Houston is not in Montana.

Well maybe that's the way it's done in the far southeast corner of Montana, I couldn't say, but in Texas most woman ride horses using saddles and fully dressed. I mean if you're going to wear a sports bra and a sweater, why not wear pants and panties, too? Really? Seriously? Personally, I doubt the horse can tell if you're wearing panties or not. Oh. You're right: I hadn't thought about the smells. Well, you know more about these things than I do, I'm sure.

Yes, I suppose it's nice of Dylan to volunteer to ride with you. Does Dylan know he's the father of your fetus? Yes, I think you mentioned that earlier. Well then, I'm glad to have solved the mystery.

Oh. Well, if there were two men inside you at that infamous party, as Susie claims -- oh, she even has pictures? -- well then yes, it does seem to be more likely that the first one who ejaculated inside you is the father of your fetus. Yes, I guess that's true -- you never know.

Do let me know how the horseback riding turns out. Oh! Yes, Susie can send me pictures, if she's coming, too. I look forward to seeing the pictures. Have fun!

November 6, 2023

7.) Three weeks later. Kylee returns

You had a miscarriage? Why are you crying -- it's what you wanted, right? When did it occur? Oh! Well, that must have been unpleasant. You look fine today, however. Actually, Kylee, if I may say so, you look downright pretty today. No, you always looked pretty. You are a pretty girl.

You're welcome; I'm glad you liked the cookies. How are your classes? No, we don't have to talk about them if you don't want to. Yes, you can show me the pictures of the horseback riding, if you want.

So you decided to ride bareback? You do know, of course, that riding bareback refers to the horse, and not to the rider. Yes, it's funny that both you and the horse are bareback. You look naked on the horse, Kylee. Yes, the horse is naked, too.

Maybe you don't want to show me the pictures of when you took a break. You do? Is that Dylan underneath you? Yes, it's funny to be riding Dylan cowgirl style while you're in Texas. What position do you use in Montana? Doggy style? Butch likes it that way? Was Butch your boyfriend up in Powderville? Oh!

Butch is the name of your dog? He's a German Shepherd? And also the name of your brother? What about your brother Butch? Seriously? It's called missionary position, I believe. How do you know what position the Crow Native Americans use? Oh! Is that why you're half Crow?

Well, thank you for dropping by Kylee, and I'm glad you solved your unwanted pregnancy problem. Yes, I can see your friend Susie. Have her give me a call, or send me an email. Goodbye.