Couples Therapy

COUPLES THERAPY

Jerry Kostner and his wife Mimi were waiting in the outer room of a psychologist/therapist for their first of six ordered sessions of therapy. The therapy was ordered by the judge in their divorce case. They did not look at one another, nor speak. The young receptionist was used to these cold wars. She had only worked for Dr. Nellie Bligh for ten months. She had noticed some patterns in these situations. Dr. Bligh was watching the interactions, or lack thereof, from her office, via a closed circuit system. She found it instructive to see what the spouses would do when thrust into a room together for the first session.

In this particular case, she could see that neither spouse wanted anything to do with the other. That was somewhat unusual. Mostly one was apologetic in some way, and tried to initiate at least some contact, even if only a nod or scowl. These two studiously and completely ignored each other. That wasn't good. But she was not charged with pasting back together a marriage. Rather, she was supposed to evaluate the situation to see if it could be saved. If she concluded at any time that further sessions were futile, she could tell the judge, and he would call the parties back to court.

After ten excruciating minutes -- excruciating to them, not her -- she opened the door and invited them into her office. The office was set up with a small desk for Nellie to sit at, and two less than comfortable chairs for the spouses.

When they were all seated, Dr. Bligh started by using her standard prefatory speech. She told them that the goal of the sessions was to evaluate in an even handed way whether their union could continue, even if under changed circumstances. She told them that such sessions were often ordered in situations such as theirs, where there were minor children involved.

Nellie outlined her preferred procedures. She would set the stage by outlining what she had learned from the court papers. Then each of them would have a short time to speak about what their goals were in the sessions, if any. From there, a discussion might follow. There would be a session each week, for ten or fewer weeks. After each session the participants were to write up a summary of the session, and an evaluation of any progress. Or lack of progress.

"So, I'll begin. As I understand it Jerry works for a real estate firm, selling houses and commercial real estate. You and Mimi have two children in junior high school, George and Winfred, thirteen and twelve years old. Each one of you is thirty-five years old. You met in college and married soon after graduation. Mimi was a homemaker until six years ago, when she began work as a teacher in a private high school near here.

On a Saturday six weeks ago, the two of you went to a picnic sponsored by Mimi's school, for staff and parents. At that event, Mimi went to a secluded location with the school's physical education teacher, Blake Drake. Mimi and Mr. Drake did not walk away together, but Jerry was suspicious due to some interactions he had observed earlier in the day. Jerry knew the park quite well. He believed, correctly, that if Mimi and Drake meant to have sexual contact, they would do so near a shed at the back of the park, because it was secluded, and there was little risk of someone happening by. However, Jerry asked his friend Brenda, a neighbor who also worked at the school, to accompany him when he went to check on Mimi. He asked Brenda to have her phone camera ready.

The two walked to a spot where they could see behind the shed. Mimi and Mr. Drake were together behind the shed. Brenda took a video of them as they embraced and kissed. Mr. Drake, as it turned out, had his erect penis outside his pants. Mimi was stroking it as they kissed. One of Mimi's breasts had been exposed.

Jerry walked over and shouted at the two. His words were harsh. Mimi and Drake separated. Drake turned away and seemingly put his penis back into his pants. Mimi straightened the top of her dress and apologized to Jerry. Jerry swore at her, and called Drake an asshole. Drake was a bigger man than Jerry. He took offense, called Jerry a wimp, and started toward him in a threatening manner. Jerry stepped back from Drake, who kept advancing, and threw a punch at Jerry. Jerry then hit Drake several times, including a hard blow to the groin area. Drake was incapacitated. Jerry called for an ambulance.

Police and medical help arrived. A crowd had gathered. Drake was taken to a hospital. He was released the next day. Police were about to arrest Jerry when Brenda showed them the video. They declined to act.

Jerry and Brenda left the picnic, leaving Mimi there.

Jerry filed for divorce the next week, alleging infidelity, and incompatibility. Mimi contests the divorce, claiming that she had not engaged in sexual behavior with Drake. Jerry then filed the video as an exhibit in the divorce. I have watched it.

"Jerry, why did you file the divorce so quickly. Had you had a chance to speak to Mimi about her behavior?"

"I don't feel that any conversation would help the matter. She cheated. We agreed before we were married that that would never happen. It was a long and intense discussion at that time. We wrote it down and signed it. I have a copy, if you need it."

"Right now, that won't be necessary."

"Mimi, what led to the scene at the picnic?"

"I was....attracted to Blake. He was hired at the beginning of the school year. He's big and handsome, and he paid me some attention, flattered me. I was swayed by that. I had gained some weight from when we were married. I was insecure about it. And I thought Jerry was no longer attracted to me."

"Was this the first instance of sexual contact? Because it seems to me to have been very risky, under the circumstances."

"That day was as far as we had gone. I never saw his penis before that. We had kissed and hugged, with clothes on."

Mimi, why have you contested the divorce? What makes you believe that your marriage can be saved?"

"I am certain that, given some time, we can get back to close to where we were. Maybe not all the way, yet. I made a mistake with Blake. I crossed some lines, but I never had full sex with him, or oral sex."

Jerry piped up, "But she would've if I hadn't busted them."

"Is that so, Mimi?" Nellie did not ask this in a confrontational way.

"Maybe. I hadn't intended things to go that far. We were outside. But we got carried away. I can't say how far it would have gone."

Jerry was again at her, "Even if you wouldn't have done him there, eventually you would have fucked him."

Jerry turned to Nellie, "After I whupped him, Mimi came home with her friend, and she wanted to go to the hospital to see about Drake. She said she felt sorry for him."

Nellie asked Mimi, "If you hadn't been discovered, would you have had full on sex with him?"

"Yes. Yes, I would have done that."

"She still would do it, too, I think." Jerry was bitter.

Nellie asked, "Mimi, is it true that you might still have sex with Drake, even after being discovered?"

"Well, I don't have the same attitude toward sex and fidelity as Jerry. That was one of the matters we discussed prior to marriage. We did agree to be faithful. But also in the agreement is a clause that says the fidelity matter could be renegotiated if one partner made a serious request. I insisted on that. So, I am still attracted to Blake. I would like to invoke the renegotiation clause."

"Your answer is yes, then. You want an extra-marital sexual relationship with Drake?"

"Yes."

"Do you believe that you could have that and remain married to Jerry. His attitude appears to be different from yours.?"

"If he's reasonable. I wouldn't see Drake, or anyone else, very often. It wouldn't interfere with the marriage. Jerry and I would still have the same sex as before."

"What if Jerry refuses your request?"

"I don't know. I hope he allows it."

"Jerry?"

"Under no circumstances would I agree to her having sex with someone else -- man or woman. She promised she wouldn't. If she does, we will divorce. In fact, the mere assertion that she wants her freedom from what she pledged is enough. The divorce is underway. If she now withdraws her desire to have other men, I wouldn't ever believe her. She'd just sneak around."

Mimi, what do you say to that? Jerry has lost trust in you?"

"I.....I would have cheated. I wanted something that I knew would hurt Jerry. I didn't want to hurt Jerry, so I didn't tell him. Well, he caught me. Now I'm telling him."

Nellie asked, "Is that a take it or leave it proposition?"

"Yes. Well....maybe. I...I'm confused. I think I'm being reasonable, and he isn't. I love him, but.....if he loved me, he'd overlook a few days with someone else."

"Jerry, why isn't she correct that you wouldn't suffer? What if she is exactly the same as regards you as she was before? Why would you end the marriage and break up the family over it?"

"She made me a promise. That was that she would not have sex with other people. It wasn't just recitation of pat wedding vows. We had a serious discussion and she agreed. She knew it was important to me. It was a deal breaker. If she hadn't agreed, we would not have been married at all. It's important because I want to live with a wife who puts me above other men. If she sneaks off and fucks other guys, then she must be doing it because they make her feel better in bed. I just cannot stand that thought -- that she would be intimate with another man. Especially a weak ass jerk like Drake. A wimp."

"Mimi, are you wanting other guys because you believe they'll be better in bed?"

"Yes. Maybe not for a long time. But as a new experience, yes."

Jerry said, "And there you have it. What if I met a woman whom I believed would give me better sex than Mimi? Can I just fuck her because I want to?"

Nellie turned to Mimi. "Do you want an open marriage? Where he can date other women, and have sex with them?"

"I don't' see why he would need someone else when he can have me whenever he wants."

"So, why is it okay for you and not him?"

"Guys can't get it up. But women can have many partners.......oh....that's silly. You're making me seem silly. He can screw who he wants."

"Jerry, do you want an open marriage?"

"No. I want a faithful wife. I don't have one. I'll get rid of her and try for another then."

"What about the kids?" Mimi said this. "They'll be hurt."

"It's you who's hurting them. Not me. You want strange cock for the thrill. That's what's fucking up the family. NOT ME!"

Nellie waved a calming hand. "We seem to have come to an impasse. Mimi, what do you hope comes out of this counseling?"

"I want my life back. And I want some freedom."

"Jerry?"

"I want a divorce. I want my kids with me. I do not want her. She's gone."

Nellie said, "I think we now have a complete understanding of the situation. I'd like to have each of you write out for me your ideas about what might save the situation. I believe that you both are worried about you children, and their reaction."

The two 'spouses' left the office. Jerry, seeing that Mimi punched the elevator button, took the stairs.

But, they were still living in the same house. Jerry had moved his things into the basement, which had a bathroom and a shower. He had a cot, and a television there.

Mimi was in the master bedroom, and the kids each had their own rooms. They were aware of the strife -- how could they miss it? But it had been going on for weeks, and they had settled into a new routine.

At the next session, a week after the first, Nellie asked them each to read their written submissions about what could save the situation.

Mimi wrote that if Jerry would agree to allow her a date once a month, they could resume their marriage. She said that her once a month sex date would not interfere in any way with Jerry's privileges as her husband. She would still do the same chores at home, including most of the cooking. As far as Jerry would be able to tell, the marriage would not have changed at all. She agreed that her liaisons would be very discrete, so that none of their friends would know that she was straying.

"Jerry?"

"No way."

Jerry's submission simply stated that after his wife proposed that she should be able to break her promise, and also demonstrated that she would sneak around and lie, he saw no way to save the marriage."

Nellie said, "What if she promised not to have other men? And then she signed an agreement to give up her half of any divorce settlement if she strayed? Would that assuage your doubts?"

"Well, she' not made that offer. As far as she's gone is to say that she will try not to let her cheating become embarrassing for me. So why even ask that question?"

"Mimi, would you be willing to sign an agreement not to cheat, and give up your half if you did?"

"No. Anyway, it wouldn't be cheating."

"It was cheating at the picnic!" Jerry was red in the face.

Nellie said, "I see no way out of this. I'll inform the judge that the parties cannot come to an agreement. If he agrees, the divorce will proceed. There's the question of custody. That's not my area. But I assume you're both wanting to be the primary custodian."

They both nodded.

Mimi said, "I believe I'll get that, since I'm......the mother."

Nellie made a small face, "Maybe. But Mimi, it does seem as if it's your insistence on having extra-marital sex that's driving the divorce. It could be that the judge won't like that."

Jerry just watched this exchange. He was interested in Mimi's response.

"My lawyer said that the mother usually gets primary custody, and to stay in the house."

"Did you tell her that you were going to insist on extra-marital sex?"

"No. Not yet."

"Tell you what, please let her know that, and see what she says. That is, if losing primary custody would change your attitude toward this matter. We can come back next week."

At the next session, Mimi was chastened. She had spoken to her lawyer about the push for a hall pass. The lawyer was unenthusiastic.

Nellie asked, "Mimi, what news have you to report about custody, given your stance on adultery?"

"Not good news. Maybe I would not get custody. Maybe I'd have to pay child support. It was uncertain. If I didn't get custody, I'd be out of the house."

"So, are you willing to give up your demand for extra-marital sex?"

"Yes. I'm willing to resume the marriage as it was, and not seek other partners."

"Jerry, is that something you'd want?"

Jerry sat for a minute, "I do love Mimi, and I believe she's a good mother, but I don't believe she means what she says about being faithful. If she signs that agreement that you spoke about, I might be willing to try."

"I don't want any agreement. I don't believe we need one. Except for that one time, we haven't needed one. And that wasn't real sex."

Jerry said, "Seemed real to me. At the very least you were whacking him off and he was feeling your tit -- your bare tit."

Nellie asked Mimi, "Do you see why Jerry might want the agreement?"

"I can see it. But it makes me feel as if he sees me as a total slut."

"But, Mimi, you repeatedly told Jerry and me that you wanted to have outside sex. Only when the lawyer cast doubt on custody did you relent. Without the agreement, Jerry would just be back where he was as you were messing with Blake. If you cheated and got caught, he's back to square one. Why should he accept that?"

"That's what it would take. He can put some phone tracker on my phone, and monitor my car or whatever. But I won't do the agreement."

"Jerry?"

"She'll just try to beat the system. She wants other men, and that's what she'll try for. If no 'post-nup,' no marriage. I do not believe I'm being unreasonable. Remember she said that I'd never know the difference if she had another guy every once in a while."

"He still shows no faith in me." She turned to Jerry. "Jerry, I'm sorry I fooled around behind your back. And I'm sorry that I have the desires that I do. I won't lie about it. Our kids will be off to college in six years. I will agree to fidelity for those six years. After that, all bets are off."

Jerry was stumped. Six years. Did he believe her?

"Will you sign the post-nup for six years?"

"Yes. Burt if you make me sign, then after six years chances are good that we'll be done. If not, maybe we won't."

"I'm only dropping the divorce if you sign. If you wanna book after the kids are off at school, we should have some pre-arranged split of the assets."

Nellie sent the notes from the session to the lawyers. An agreement was reached. The agreement was for six years, or until their youngest child turned eighteen. It stated that if Mimi had sexual contact with an outside person, she would concede custody and take only $20,000.00 and her retirement account as settlement in the divorce.

There was no clause about the split after the six years.

Jerry moved back upstairs. It had been two months since he had slept with his wife. Their first night back together started out awkwardly. Neither one quite knew how to approach it. But after a few tentative kisses, Jerry decided to fuck Mimi hard. He straddled her chest and waved his hard cock in her face. She looked at it for a few seconds, then grabbed it and began to lick. Then she sucked. Then she moaned, "Fuck me now you son of a bitch." So he did. He moved between her legs and entered her hard and fast. She had an immediate hard orgasm, with a big groan to accompany it. Jerry kept fucking her.

"You love it, don't you? You love my cock. Say it."

"I love your cock. I love you fucking me hard. Fuck me harder."

Jerry just plowed her, as hard and fast as he could, causing her to come again, intensely. Jerry felt it and filled her up. Spurt after spurt deep into her.

Mimi hadn't been fucked that hard in some time. Jerry used to do that for her sometimes, but after the kids were in school, their lust declined, and Jerry and Mimi made love mostly. Once in a while they just fucked.

Over the next months, Jerry fucked Mimi four or five times a week. He fucked her hard, and didn't make love to her. He fucked her face. He fucked her ass, which he hadn't done for a while. She loved all of it. She wasn't really in love with Jerry as much as before. But she was completely satisfied with her marriage.

For Jerry's part, he was not inclined to make love to Mimi anymore. Look where that got him. He came to regard her as a good fuck. She was indeed a good fuck. She always responded. She was always ready, mostly. She liked it most when Jerry fucked her doggy style. He'd call her a slut, and bang her hard. Mimi would moan, chant 'fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck me.' Jerry sometimes reached around and rubbed her clit when she moaned like that. (Or when he was fucking her ass.) The first time he did that she passed right out after she came.

Their kids complained that they were making too much noise. Mimi told them to get over it.

The sex continued for the entire six years. Of course, it wasn't always so intense as the first months after the 'divorce.' But Mimi, and Jerry, were always satisfied, more than satisfied.

During that six years, Jerry never once made sweet love to Mimi. He never felt like doing that. They had their jobs, and they had the kids. Jerry went to the gym, and played tennis. Mimi sewed and liked to take long walks after her classes ended. She never once strayed. Nor did Jerry. But they were not as close as before. Before they would have longish discussions of books or politics. Now they had family life, sex, and their jobs. Each of them were doing well in their work. Jerry was a top salesman, and he had socked away quite a bit of money. In light of the possible impending split, he had siphoned off a goodly sum. Mimi was a fully tenured teacher at the school, and was making quite enough by now to support herself if she needed to do that. She also was contemplating what might happen when Winnifred went off to school. They were both forty-one years old.