by StormHerald
Not bad for a first story. Admittedly, it could have used the talents of an editor but the story's foundation is strong and I'm looking forward to future chapters. 5/5*
An hour glass figure and she calls herself plump? Couldn't they have at least turned her before they sent her
packing? Oh, I forgot her brother said he could be turned but she couldn't, weird!
Her parents and her brother are just so warm and cuddly...like a viper in your bed.
Yea don't we can both be unwanted specimens. Lol ps my name is Lilly too
The parents need to place the blame where it belongs...with them. Isn't Lilly's genes from her parents? She has no choice in how she was produced.
I have already finished your second book in ONE evening (thereby getting nothing done this past evening) and then decided to open your first. Authors like you make me sooo glad and know that I am truly blessed that I am not blind. I thank God for you and others like you often. Please keep writing. Know that if you print publish I definitely would buy. Please keep up the fabulous work. (Also, your story is so captivating that I hardly notice the lack of an editor.)
I am quickly becoming hooked on your writing. I just read all 5 chapters of The Pride of a Slave, which I can't wait to see what happens next (hint, hint, nudge, nudge). I love how your characters come alive and I hope you keep writing. -DC
I love your "Pride of a slave" I am addicted.. PLEASE Write me.. I am excited about this one
I live in Idaho! haha I'm super excited to read this story, especially after reading the first 5 chapters of "The Pride Of A Slave" and falling so in love with your characters there. :)
this is a really different vampire story im hook im curious and i cant wait to finish reading
I love the different approach to vampires. I am hooked and heading to chapter 3 !!
is amazing! I enjoyed how you developed the relationship between the Prince and the Princess. Part of me likes the way you ended the series because of the note you left after it. I thought about many endings for the Princess today. :) I can imagine this series as an actual book. Thank you for sharing this with us. The sexy scenes were awesome as well but I enjoyed the romantic aspect of the story more.
on your first submission which also happens to be your first series. You are off to a great start! I'm going to chapter 2 right now.
it was lovely,i like stories that grab you at the beginning,yours was fab
You do have a very good imagination, your beginning to spin a good tale of fright , mystery and maybe love. I will be waiting for the next chapter. Oh by the way I LOVE IT.
incredible, smart, fresh etc., but as a big fan of vamps I NEED to know, if a child is born 100% vamp, how one would age???? Не волнуйся, твоя работа великолепна!!!!! ( do not pay too much attention to my questions, your work is SUPERB) Let me know on the next installments and I hope it is a bit longer.
what a different spend on a classical tale. please, next time longer chapters.
I really like this story. Lilly is a breath of fresh air as she narrates her story.
A vampire family with a human born to it - sooo cool. Hopefully, a very special human who may have interesting powers mixed into her genetic soup!
I was really getting involved and this chapter ended way too soon.
Thanks, a great writer's start.
vt
I love the humor of this piece and the twist on the usual vampire tales. Your voice is charming and I like Lilly already; she's a fun narrator and I want to find out what happens next. Great storytelling. :)
nice beginning!! love the plot human born into a vampire family must marry a vampire prince... can't wait until the next installment in this story.
If the vampire gene is dominant, she could still have vampire children if mating with a vampire. The odds would depend on whether her mate is also a carrier of the human gene (which would be recessive to his dominant vampire gene), or if he had inherited the vampire gene from both his parents.
It's all very intriguing, and you've mapped out a promising start. Looking forward to seeing how you spin your story the rest of the way.
I hope she ends up being very powerful to shove it in her dads and brothers face
i dont think she full human and i think she is rare to make a hybrid.. i cant wait to read more from you...
This is an interesting beginning to your first story on this site. I'm enjoying it and looking forward to more.
Oh this is something a little different. Keep going I look forward to reading about Lilly and her trip to Europe . Hope her vamp husband treats her better than her own family.