Courting Disaster

"Are you threatening me?"

"Yes. I am."

"Dammit, Tom. He has a family. I can stay away from him. Mostly he's out in the field."

"Don't bullshit me. And that was bullshit, Molly. You're wriggling around like a worm on the hook."

She flushed. "I don't like being threatened."

"Me either. I guess we're gonna just do it."

She seemed shocked and started to cry. "Do you....love me so little that you'd leave me over this?"

"I love you. Only you. But you don't love only me, do you? You've had this emotional entanglement with Willie, and you want it both ways. You can't have it both ways. I don't think I'm being unreasonable. Either he goes or I go."

"I can work with him without.....an affair."

"You know that what I'm asking is really the only way. You can tell me this evening whether you've ditched him."

I went to work. I assume she did as well.

MOLLY

The discussion with Tom at breakfast didn't go well. He left and I was quite put out. I was more than put out. I was seriously pissed off. How dare he give me an ultimatum.

But I knew, deep down, that he was being reasonable. I had to curb my selfish bitch nature and....pick.

I was in the office for about five minutes before Jane came into the office and sat, again.

She said, "What are you going to do about Willie's job? He can't stay, you know. Not now."

"That's what Tom said. It pissed me off."

"But he's right, though. So?"

"Is Willie here now?

"Not yet. He called to say he'd be a little late."

They heard the door. Jane looked out. It was Willie. He looked bad, hunched over. He saw her and headed toward Molly's office. Jane let him in.

Willie slumped into a chair. He said, "I think it was dumb for me to go to your house. It hurts."

I said, "Don't say you weren't warned."

Jane said, "We were just discussing whether....well, how we approach your current employment. Because it seems like that can't continue."

Willie was shocked, "What? I'm good here. I make us all money."

I said, "But, Willie, if you keep your job, we both lose our marriages. Because Tom will divorce me and tell your wife why."

Willie looked stricken, like a little boy eating spinach from the can. "I can't lose the job. If I do, she'll know, no matter what I say."

I said, "Maybe I can get you something -- out of town. I know some people in New Jersey."

"Shit, Molly. Can't you get Tom to settle down? We didn't actually fuck. He's being...."

Jane said, "He's being sensible. He won't put up with the aggravation of having the two of you constantly around each other. He believes that you'd end up fucking."

Willie said, "We wouldn't. We.....damn."

I looked at him. He put his head in his hands. "Not all my fault, Molly. We just liked each other right away. A two-way street. I've only been here eight months."

I said, "You have a week's paid vacation. Take it now, and I'll see about New Jersey."

"I can't go home in the middle of the day. Brenda would know something's off."

"Do something else. Anyway, she works, right?"

Willie left, unhappy.

I said, "Jesus, Jane, what a fucking mess."

"Not as much as it could be. You have to get Willie something. It's summer, his kids' school wouldn't be disrupted. Can you do that?"

"Maybe."

I made the call to New Jersey, where a school friend of mine had a firm. She said she'd take on Willie, if he was as good as I said. But she wanted to know why he was leaving after only eight months. I told her, in a shorthand way. I told her Willie would call and set up an interview this week.

Then I called Willie and gave him the information.

I hoped it would work out.

But it didn't. Sharon -- my New Jersey buddy, couldn't offer Willie more than an entry level position. Willie refused.

He came to work Wednesday, after his New Jersey interview. He walked right into my office.

"I'm not going to New Jersey and starting over. Not fair, and that's that. You'll have to decide. I want this job."

I said, "Let me see what I can work out with Tom."

TOM

Molly came home Wednesday with the news that Willie's move to New Jersey was not happening.

I said, "So, did you fire him?"

"Not yet. It isn't right. I promise I won't mess around with him. I just can't.....just fire him."

"Why? I understand the so-called unfairness. I think it isn't unfair at all. He went after a married woman. No matter that she also went for him. If he suffers, he suffers."

"You're being a hardass. His family. His kids."

"He shoulda thought before he went for it. Life's like that. Sometimes you pay the price."

"But his wife and kids didn't do anything wrong."

"Maybe they're better off without him. Because he'll do it again, won't he?"

She looked frustrated and walked away.

I was determined to see this through. As it was, I'd be living my life wondering where Molly was and who she was with -- at least for a while. If the jerk Willie was around, that would be ten times worse. And, maybe not worth the effort and aggravation.

In fact, I was wondering whether Molly was worth the effort and aggravation. Life without her would be a lot more peaceful. I sat and thought about our marriage, our life as a family. Until a few days ago, it was fine, great, even. Now?

Now I wanted back what I had before Willie came along. If he stayed, I wouldn't have that. He had to go.

Molly came back. She said, "I'll keep him out of the office. He can work from home, on a computer, and meet his prospects somewhere. He'd hardly ever be near me."

"No."

"Why not? I won't be around him. I don't want to lose you. I'd never do anything with him again."

"Molly, I don't trust you or him. Especially him. I tell you, if he ends up costing me my marriage, I'll do for him. I swear I will!"

MOLLY

Tom stalked off, after threatening Willie. I had no doubt that Tom meant it. Where he grew up, things went like that.

I didn't see any real choice.

The next morning I called Willie into the office.

"Willie, I have to let you go. This is two weeks' notice, and you can split commissions on places someone else will take over. I'll give you good references. You can find something."

"This is all on your asshole husband. He needs to see reason."

"He has good reason, as you well know."

"So what if we made out? So what if we fucked around for a while? I bet he's done it."

"No, he hasn't. He wouldn't." Willie's face was a mask of rage.

He turned and simply walked out. Out of my office, and out of the building. I called Tom.

"Tom, I let Willie go just now. I didn't like his reaction. Please be careful. He's agitated."

"Okay. I'll get my carry out of the safe. Just to be safe, you know."

"I hope he cools off. He seemed to blame you. He's maybe not rational."

"Okay."

TOM

I had a small.9mm pistol, and a concealed carry permit. I took it out of the safe at work. My suit coat covered it pretty well. So, I kept the coat on.

It was just after noon and I was about to get my sandwich from the office fridge, when I heard a commotion out in reception. There was a loud argument, and a thump. Then Willie was coming down the corridor. The look on his face was scary. I pulled the gun.

I shouted, "Stop right there!"

He stopped. He looked at the gun. He looked at me.

"You won't shoot. I'm gonna kick your ass." My receptionist was behind him. I had no shot. So, I dodged back into my office. When he rounded the corner of the doorway, I shot him in the knee. He whirled around and hit the ground screaming.

He was between me and the door, but in too much pain to be a threat. I walked around him. Jenny, the receptionist, shouted, "I called the police."

Then I heard sirens. I glanced back at Willie. He was softly moaning. I didn't want to have the gun when the cops arrived. I locked it back in the safe. About thirty seconds later they were there. One tended to Willie while the other asked me what happened. I explained. An ambulance arrived outside.

It took two hours before the police left the office. I let Molly know what happened. She wasn't surprised, because of how he looked when he left her place.

MOLLY

I went to the hospital to see about Willie. I didn't tell Tom. Brenda was there. I asked her how Willie was, but she walked away. I went after her.

"Brenda, I'm sorry. Willie and I never got too far. Tom stopped it."

"You were having some sort of affair. Not the first time for Willie. You fired him. Then Tom shot him. Jesus."

"Willie was in a rage, Brenda. I expect Tom only did what was necessary."

"Are you in love with him? Willie, I mean?"

"No. No, well....."

"You can have him. See if you like it -- what I've had to put up with. He's yours. I'm outta here."

She left the place. I went to see Willie.

He moaned when I walked in. His leg was wrapped in a bandage.

He said, "Just what I need now. Oh, yeah, just what I need."

I said, "Brenda was here. But she left. She said I could have you. Sorry. I have to decline."

"My knee isn't all that bad, they say. I'll be in a soft cast for a month, maybe. But I can walk. And I can do other things, as well."

I couldn't believe he was saying that, after all that had happened.

I said, "You've got balls, to come on to me after my husband shot you."

He smiled. "Yes. I do have balls. Would you like to see?"

"Stop. Please stop." But I confess that I smiled.

"You would like to see. I know."

"Maybe. But no woman in her right mind would give up a good marriage for you. You'd fuck her over in record time."

"But she'd enjoy it, Molly. You'd enjoy it. You know it's true."

"I'm glad you'll be okay, Willie. Don't turn up at work. Don't come near me. Please just don't. I have my life, and you're a threat to it. Plus, Tom would probably kill us both."

I walked away.

As I drove home, I wondered what Willie had that drew me to him. He looked good, but I'd been hit on by quite a few good-looking men. Something else.

He was fun. He was a fun guy, open about his wants and desires. In some way he was an innocent. Huh. A dangerous innocent. Like a little boy with a real gun. He did seem to have a real gun. Unfortunately for him, Tom also had a real gun. Several.

I believe Willie saw nothing wrong with screwing whatever woman he found himself liking. And he really didn't see why Brenda should be so upset about it. At least he thought she'd always take him back. Maybe she would.

I wondered. If I was married to Willie, would I allow him to stray as he wished? As long as he came to bed and satisfied me, maybe I would.

Tom and I were beyond the stage where sex and procreation were linked. Well, almost. I could still get knocked up. He could still do it. But we were not going to have more kids. So, that part of what made sex special didn't apply any more. Maybe now that our kids were grown and out the door, sex could become less....fraught. With less jealousy.

If I had good sex with Willie, Tom and I could still have good sex, and loving sex. I'd just spend some time in bed with Willie. But mostly I'd be with Tom.

I could almost see it that way. Almost. If Tom took up with, say, Jane, I expect I'd be more than a little annoyed. Unless we had an arrangement. And even then.

I decided that Tom and I should talk it all over. I knew he'd be angry, unless I was careful how I did it. His anger, so intense, was a thing I didn't like about him. But he didn't lose his temper very much. In all the years that we were raising kids, he never lost it. Once, before we had kids, he went after a guy in a bar who was rude when I danced with him. Tom went outside with him, and came back ten minutes later. He was unhurt, except for his hands.

Once, when we took the twins to college, a fellow in a snack bar sat down at my table while Tom was getting food. When Tom returned, the guy didn't get up. Tom asked him politely to leave the table -- there were only two seats. The guy smiled at Tom and said, "No."

Tom picked him up by the scruff of his neck and tossed him out the door. It all happened so fast. The guy looked back at Tom, and jogged away.

Now with Willie. All about guys who wanted to get with me.

Still, I decided to have the talk with Tom. Carefully.

TOM

I was at home after the shooting at the office. I admit that I was shaken by the entire episode. Molly came in. She was late from work. She looked pensive.

I asked, "What's up, Moll?"

"I went to see Willie at the hospital. Brenda was there. But she left, very angry. Willie isn't hurt all that badly. I assume you'll be happy to hear that."

"Why did you go? Actually, I know why. You have feelings for the guy. Despite everything."

'It's true. I thought about it a lot on the drive home. He's childlike. It's...It can be an endearing quality. He tries it on with any woman he likes. He loses his temper and has tantrums like a kid. He lacks...adult insight."

"And you like that?"

"I guess I found it refreshing. I thought it would be fun, you know, with Willie."

"Fun sex. Well, where does that leave us? Because, I'm feeling like we might be done, Molly."

"No. I was only trying to explain to you. I don't intend to see him again. Maybe Brenda will kick him out, too."

"Up to her."

Molly smiled, "I bet she doesn't, though. Let's get some dinner."

At dinner Molly and Tom talked about their courtship. Molly brought it up. The memories were fond, but Tom was still annoyed by Molly's 'courtship' comment regarding Willie. Eventually he snapped at her.

"You and Willie were courting. You said so."

"It's true, in a way. But it's over, Tom. Done for. He's not coming to work. I have no idea where he'll even live, if Brenda tosses him out."

"You have his number. He has yours."

"Tom, you have to take some things on faith. If I'm not around him, he isn't....tempting. Well, as tempting."

"Fun sex."

"Yes. But....I won't. Tom, now that we're....empty nesters, and aren't having more kids, maybe we can look harder at what would make us happy."

"Uh oh. I see some problems on the horizon. Spit it out."

"I wondered if you'd like to have sex with other women. Now that we're beyond the kid stuff, why do we have to have exclusivity?"

"This is an academic, theoretical discussion?"

"To start. When you think about it, if sex isn't wrapped up in procreation, why does the jealousy persist?"

"Because.....well, because sex still is the most intimate and personal of things a couple does together. Sharing it around would kill that."

"Why? Why would it kill our sex if you also had sex with Jane?"

"You wouldn't mind? Really?"

"Yes, when I considered it, I knew I would mind. Like you'd mind if I had sex with Willie. But maybe that's foolish."

"I don't believe it's foolish. Or, it might be foolish, seen in an unemotional way. But I don't see it that way. And, I tell you this in all sincerity, I will never put up with you having sex with someone else."

"I...." Her face crumpled. She turned and fled up the stairs.

The thought crossed my mind: I should have killed the SOB when I had the chance. I went upstairs.

Molly was in the bedroom. I had no intention of sleeping on the couch again. She was on the bed, staring at the ceiling. She didn't look at me. I stood over her.

I said, "Is this it? You're choosing him?"

MOLLY

Tom was standing over me, asking if I picked him or Willie. And......I didn't know what to do. So, I started crying. Crying as hard as I ever have in my life.

After a minute or so, he turned and walked out.

And I understood that my crying like that -- he took it for me choosing Willie. I got up and ran down looking for him. He was in his office, working at the computer.

I screamed, "Don't file! Don't, please. I want to be with you."

He said, "Too late. You've made your choice when you couldn't decide right off. If he means that much to you, you haven't chosen me."

I was filled with righteous anger. I screamed at him, "You didn't have to make me choose. You want to own me."

I ran.

TOM

Molly wanted it all her way, and that was that. She wanted us both. So...she didn't want me. I watched her run up the stairs and heard the bedroom door slam.

I filed the divorce petition. I printed out two formal copies of the filed petition. I left one on the kitchen table with my wedding ring. I had already packed a bag. I drove in to work and slept on the couch there.

I was in shock for a while. Then I started to cry. I cried for some time -- I don't know how long. Then I started to get angry. It built and built throughout the night. I was pacing up and down the hall. No sleep.

I went to the safe and got the nine. I sat on the couch with it in my hand. Everything seemed draped in black.

MOLLY

God! I fucked this up so badly. Tom has left me, filed for divorce. All over Willie and my....my inability to keep my end of the bargain we made when we married.

But I have kept the bargain. Maybe I went a little over the line with Willie. But I never jumped across it. I only wanted to go across, look around and come back. The idea that I could never have Willie and Tom at the same time was difficult for me to accept. It seemed so....obvious to me that fucking Willie for a while wouldn't lessen my love for Tom.

But it wasn't that way for Tom. And I needed to have realized the depth of his feeling of betrayal before it got this far. I failed at that, and now......Now maybe I wasn't Tom's wife anymore.

I really didn't sleep. All my calls to Tom went to voice mail. I left two telling him that I would never go with Willie -- ever.

The next morning, I showered, got in the car and drove to Willie's house, hoping to convince Brenda to stay with him.

I rang the doorbell. Brenda eventually answered. She was in a terry robe, barefoot. She looked slutty and well fucked. She smiled at me.

"He's here, but you can't have him. I took him back. And I've had my reward. All night." She smiled again, like the cat that ate the canary.

Willie hobbled out, with a cane. He wore only a pair of gym shorts, no doubt hastily donned.

He saw it was me at the door.

He smiled at me. "Too late, Molly. Brenda wore me out. But....maybe tonight." He was laughing. Brenda wasn't.

I wasn't either. "Hi, Willie. I'm glad you seem okay. I'm glad Brenda relented. I bet you are, too."

He said, "We talked it out. We have an arrangement. I have limited freedom."

Brenda said, "And so do I. Right?"

Willie looked annoyed. "Yes. So do you."

Willie looked very good in his shorts. He had a six pack. I never knew that. I guess I ogled him, because Brenda said, "You'll have to wait, Molly. We haven't finished our make-up sex yet. Have we, Willie?"

"Not even close." His shorts were tented. Brenda reached around and grabbed his cock through the shorts. She looked at me.

She said, "Mine."

I said, "That's fine. I have to go try to save my marriage." I looked at Willie again. Leered at him, really.

I whispered, "But if I fail, Willie, I will be back." I turned and walked away, with hips swaying. Willie whistled. I wondered if they'd go for a threesome.

But I drove away, toward Tom's office. I thought that's probably where he slept the night before.

JANE

Molly had called that morning to say that Tom had left her and filed for divorce. I'd been through a divorce four years before. I didn't envy her. But she'd brought it on herself. Tom was a fine man, and very fit and sexy. I admit that I was interested.

I decided to see if he was at his office. It was early, seven am, when I arrived there. I took the elevator up to four, and found that his office door was unlocked and open slightly. I called out, "Tom. Tom, are you here?"

No answer. I was worried. I looked around, then went back to where I saw his private office door open. There was only the sound of the grandfather clock ticking away.