Cousin's Dilemma

Without looking up from the paper she said "Keith, I want to ask you something. Don't freak on me. Don't think this is an impulse or that I haven't considered everything about it."

"Does it have to do with me being naked?"

She nodded slowly.

"Does it have to do with you being naked as well?"

Another nod.

"You want to do each other again?"

This time she shook her head and took a couple of deep breaths. "I want to have sex with you."

Two things happened at the same time. My jaw fell open and my penis completely inflated.

Before I could respond she looked up, with a serious expression.

I looked back at her. "You have thought about it, haven't you?"

With a nod she replied "It's something I've been thinking about. I know all the reasons we shouldn't, believe me. I've thought about every one of them. This has nothing to do with seeing naked men in class. It only has to do with you and me."

"Shit, Robyn. I'm supposed to be protecting you."

"I know that. I know I'm asking a lot and run the very real risk of being rejected."

"I would never reject you. It's the idea I'm having trouble with."

"I understand. I should never have brought it up. Now you're going to be wary of me and everything I do, wondering if I'm trying to get you to do something you don't want to."

I sat down heavily on the sofa with my head in my hands. "What are you doing to me, Robyn? Every fiber of my being wants to do it. You already know the downside."

She replied quietly "Yes."

"Then, why?"

"Because it feels right to me."

"Let me think about it."

"Okay. I guess I can't ask for anything more than that."

She quietly put away her supplies and I put some of my clothes back on, leaving off my shirt and undershirt and picking up my shoes and socks to carry them upstairs, where I threw myself onto the bed. I heard her come upstairs and go into her room and close the door.

"Fuck, fuck, fuck." I muttered as I got up to brush my teeth and get ready for bed. In bed sleep was not forthcoming and I stared up at the ceiling conflicted as hell.

About one o'clock there was a very soft tap on my door and a whisper "Are you awake?"

"Yeah, I'm awake. You can come in."

She entered, wearing some sort of pajamas, and sat on the side of my bed. "I'm sorry. Now I've ruined everything between us."

I touched her arm. "No, you haven't"

"But, you'll never think of me the same again." There was a stifled sob in her voice.

"Robyn, I haven't thought of you the same the entire time you've been here. You constantly amaze me."

She was silent, staring across the room.

I broke the silence. "You caught me off guard, that's all." I rubbed my face. "Truth is, I've thought about you that way for months. What we did together only made it stronger."

She turned her face to me. "You have?"

"You have no idea how I've struggled to keep my hands off of you. Now you indicate willingness, and I can't think of any more excuses. I knew we shouldn't have touched each other like that. I've been burning ever since."

"You never told me."

"Of course not! What was I supposed to do? You, your parents, everyone would think I brought you here for the purpose of seducing you."

"I don't think that. Don't I count?"

"Cripes, of course you do. That's what took me off guard. You obviously don't think I've been after you. I don't know how to handle it."

She tapped my hip. "Scoot over."

"Hey!"

"Look, you're under the covers and I'm not. I need to be next to you."

I moved over and she stretched out on her side facing me with her head on one of my pillows.

"You're not making this any easier for me."

A hand reached over to touch my face. "I know you're protecting me, and I trust you completely. Without you who knows where I'd be? You've given me a new life, and right now that life includes you. Right now that life needs you."

I held her hand against my face and closed my eyes. When I opened them I saw her face near mine, studying me in the dim light coming through the curtains. I don't even remember how it happened, but I apparently moved my face toward her and we kissed. And kissed a second time.

All of the burning within me bubbled to the surface and I reached over to stroke her hair and rub an arm.

A hoarse whisper asked "So, have you decided?"

"God, yes."

She smiled, put a hand on my chest and we kissed again. I threw off the covers and embraced her, kissing passionately. I found myself unbuttoning her pajama shirt and she shrugged it off. This time I buried my face between her breasts and she stroked my hair. "I've waited so long for this, Keith."

"God help me, so have I."

I didn't worry about the rest of her outfit; I kneaded and kissed her breasts, using my tongue on her nipples, causing her to arch her back. "More! More!"

Only too glad to oblige, I kissed her breasts greedily, then kissed her face and neck while I held her breasts in my hands. She moaned and moved her hands from my chest down my belly to the undershorts I wore to bed. With no comment, she grasped me through the fabric, then released and used both hands to push down my shorts. Once past my knees I managed to kick them off, and felt her warm hands around me.

I resumed kissing all over her chest and pushed on the waistband of her pajama bottoms until they were off. My hands wandered over her, exploring her belly, hips and thighs. I reached around to her butt cheeks and felt them tighten at my touch.

"There's another one of those drops," she panted. "Do we wipe it off?"

"Smear it around."

"Oh, it's slippery."

Eventually I moved a hand between her thighs and she arched again, inhaling sharply. Warm and wet, there was so much I wanted to do down there, but tonight wasn't for lingering. No buildup was necessary. A swelling appeared at the top of her slit and she cried out when I rolled it between my fingers. She squeezed me and stroked until I groaned.

She didn't have to tell me she was ready. I knew all the signs from my time with Carol in college. I knelt between her legs and she opened for me. I bent her knees so her hips rotated up.

I wanted to savor the moment, but need took over. I rubbed up and down in her slit before entering her, slowly because of her relative inexperience. She thrashed her head side to side and whimpered as she arched once more.

I didn't immediately begin to thrust, feeling the warmth of her around my penis. I bent to kiss her and fondle a breast. Beginning an easy rhythm I quickly built toward a climax, but slowed so she could catch up. She thrust violently, moaned out loud and began to spasm. The pulsing of her vagina was the end for me and I shot into her, time and again until I was spent and collapsed onto her. We stayed together until we regained some composure, and I rolled off. Side by side we stared up at the ceiling.

"I've waited for that, Keith. It's so much better than the boys who didn't give a damn about me."

"That was everything I ever imagined it would be, no - more than I ever imagined it would be." I turned my face to her. "We have to talk, but not now."

She snuggled against me and I stroked her silky hair until we fell asleep.

In the morning I found her curled up against me and a feeling I can't describe ran through me. Her eyes fluttered open. She smiled and stretched. "It's a beautiful morning, Keith."

"We haven't even opened the curtains yet."

"It could be raining or snowing, but it's still a beautiful morning. In here." She swept an arm around the room. "And in here." She pointed to her heart

My hands glided over smooth skin and I sighed with contentment.

"You said we have to talk this morning. Let's talk."

"I think I need coffee to clear my head."

She kissed me and bounded out of bed, hurrying to her room to dress. I didn't bother to shave or anything, but pulled on some old sweats and went downstairs barefoot. By the time I had coffee going she padded into the kitchen. I poured us some juice to drink until the coffee was ready.

At the table we sat and she looked at me expectantly.

"Umm, Robyn. About last night."

"I can't get pregnant. You don't have to worry about that."

"That's not it at all."

Her face fell. "I disappointed you. I pushed you to do something you weren't ready for."

I took a deep breath and scanned the room, cluttered with drawings and her tools for creating them. My life had certainly changed since she came. My gaze snapped back to her and I shook my head.

"No. Nothing like that. I was ready - more than ready - but hoped you were not. In a way I dreaded something like that happening. Not for the reasons you think, though. I'm afraid things have changed."

She licked her lips and said quietly. "You want me to leave?"

"God, No! I want you to never leave. That's the problem. I've watched you come out of your shell and grow right before my eyes. I've seen a spark in you that you never had before and I am so happy for you."

I had to get up and pace around the table while she watched me intently. "So what's the problem? What have I done?"

"What you've done is...is...shit, how do I find the words? How can I say them?"

I sat in my chair and reached for her hand. "What you've done is make me fall in love with you."

Tears sprang into her eyes.

I was not expecting that, and groaned "Shit. Now I've ruined everything. I should never have mentioned the L word."

"Are you stupid? Can't you tell tears of happiness? I never want to leave you. Last night made me realize that you are the only person, man or woman, who believed in me. You took a risk having me here, and you did it for me, not for yourself. I get that others may question your motives, but I know what you did and what you have meant to me. I never thought about love until last night." She paused. "It wasn't just sex. You made love to me, didn't you?"

"I wanted you, but I wanted so show you how things could be. I could hardly contain myself, but wanted you to feel wanted for you, not for your body."

She smiled through her tears and teased "you don't like my body?"

I stood behind her chair and put my arms around her. "I love your body. In fact, if I didn't have to go to work I'd throw you down on the floor and show you just how much."

"I'll have to think of something for tonight."

When I got home she was in the kitchen, standing over the stove. "I don't know how you make everything come out even. I have mashed potatoes getting cold and meat that won't cook fast enough. Oh shit! I forgot to salt it."

I leaned over her and kissed her. "I think it will be wonderful. We can add salt when it's done."

The meat ended up a little dry, but she had put her heart into it and, to me, it was perfect. She had never taken an interest in cooking before.

Both of us were anxious to be done with cleaning up and then dashed upstairs. "You want to come to my room this time?" she asked.

I shook my head. "It has to be mine. I have my reasons."

By the time I had brushed my teeth and pulled on my sleeping shorts she appeared in the doorway, wearing a simple nightgown and apparently nothing under it.

We fell into each other's arms and kissed, long and lingering. I had always thought her long red hair was attractive and I loved stroking its silky softness. We fell over onto the bed and she rolled away from me and sat up.

"You mentioned this morning about showing me something. Something that had to wait for tonight."

I laughed as I snatched her nightgown over her head and pushed her onto her back, where she laid expectantly. I took a moment to feast my eyes on her body - all of it - before I almost threw off my shorts and fell on her, kissing and exploring with my hands until she began to breathe hard. I lowered my head to a breast and sucked as much as I could get into my mouth. I nipped at her nipples while my hands wandered, finding new ways to touch her. She reached down and grasped me, exploring also.

I kissed down from her breasts and tongued her navel, making her squeal. I kissed her legs down to the toes and back up to her hips, nuzzling in the red patch on her mons. When I pushed her legs back to feast on her lower lips she almost sat up. "What are you doing?"

"I'm showing you how much I love your body. All of it. Never had anyone do this before?'

She shook her head. "Isn't it nasty?"

"Certainly not. Close your eyes and experience the feeling"

I slid my tongue between the lips and she gasped. My tongue lapped from vagina to clit and licked the engorging clit. She pulled my hair and gasped, writhing on the bed. My tongue thrust into her and I nibbled on the lips, feeling gushes of wetness. Her grip on my hair pushed and pulled, yanking side to side as she shuddered and came. I paused to let the feeling subside before renewing my attack on her vulva with my mouth and her breasts with my hands. She bucked like a bronco and shouted nonsense syllables.

When I couldn't stand it anymore, I let go of her legs and got on my knees between them, breathing hard. I rubbed my penis on the wet slit and plunged in, drawing another gasp. I pounded hard and she matched me with hip thrusts, wrapping her legs around me.

She had another, larger, climax and grabbed a pillow to put over her face to stifle her shouts and moans. Her climax was hard, squeezing me inside her and I released a torrent into her, pumping until I was exhausted.

Lying side by side we held hands. "So that's how much you love my body?"

"That's in the ballpark. I'll think of more ways."

"I don't think I can move anything."

I caressed her face. "Right now I don't want you to move anything. I want you right here beside me."

"I'm not going anywhere."

In the ensuing weeks we worked some lust out of our systems, but mostly made love. Often during the week she stayed in her room and we did nothing at all. Sometimes she'd come into my room, crawl into bed with me and just curl up against me or lay her head on my shoulder.

The Christmas holiday approached and that brought about new concerns. Her semester ended and both she and her instructor were pleased with her progress. He saw some of the work she had done on our hikes and recommended another drawing class to incorporate new skills.

One rainy Saturday we sat around and watched a movie. After it was over she turned to me. "We need to think about visiting our families."

"Mine are staying in China. The school where they have been teaching English for the last year doesn't have any kind of Christmas break. The best we'll do is to continue to Skype."

"We haven't exactly been forthcoming with them about our relationship."

"I get the feeling they suspect more than we have let on. I'd prefer to have things unfold gradually. It's your parents I'm worried about."

"There's no way we can avoid it. I have to go home sometime. Talking on the phone is one thing but..."

I wrapped my arms around her. "We'll figure it out. I just hope things don't get unpleasant."

Time to leave was too soon upon us. With all our bags packed we turned in early. She started out in her room, but was restless and came to mine. "I'm nervous about tomorrow"

"Honestly, what do we think can happen? Why do we feel like this?"

"Because they won't understand. My dad can be hard-headed."

"He can't throw you out. You're almost twenty-one now, and you're already out of the house."

"I know, but...he expected so much from me. First there was the art he had to deal with, and now there's you."

"I guess that has been behind our reluctance to move your things into this room - for you to have your own bedroom."

"As long as I have my own room it's like we can pretend we're not really lovers."

I stroked her hair and she sighed. Suddenly she sat up with a determined look on her face. "No more! No more pretending. Who are we fooling, anyway? Whoever doesn't like it can go jump in the lake." She turned to me. "We're going to tell them. We're going to tell them everything and let the chips fall where they may."

"I agree, but there is a tactful way and there is the 'in your face' way. The second way causes hard feelings; the first has a chance to smooth things over."

She grinned at me. "I suppose it wouldn't be tactful to tell them about this," and launched herself at me. It took me by surprise and I fell onto my back with her on top of me, kissing and fumbling with my sleeping shorts.

I laughed at how she suddenly took the initiative and I let her yank my shorts off, waiting to see what else she had in mind. While she sometimes took the lead, there was a new sense of purpose this time.

She ripped her nightgown up and off and then sat astride me. I reached to cradle her breasts and she bent over to kiss me passionately, her hands roaming my body. Everywhere except where I wanted to be touched, and she knew it. I pulled her up so feast on her delights and she threw her head back. "Yes!"

With a sudden move she broke from my oral session and slid down my body, pausing to rub her vulva on my erection. She knew that was something that always excited me, and it still gave me access to her breasts.

She looked me in the eye and purposely slid down my thighs to my knees. I couldn't really reach anything on her and she let me suffer for a few moments before grasping me with two hands. She used every touch she knew drove me wild, and suddenly stopped, as if considering something.

"There's something I've never done. I never had the courage to do it, and don't even really know how, but I'll try. Girls in the dorm talked about it all the time, but it sounded disgusting. Yet, so did what you often do with me. I love it and can tell you do, too. So...stop me if you don't like it. It won't hurt my feelings."

I was amazed to see her lower her head and rub my erection on her face, then take it partway into her mouth. The sight of it disappearing into her mouth caused me to gasp. She pulled it out and licked. "I know I like when you do this to me." She licked the length of me. She swirled her tongue around the tip. With her head turned she wrapped her tongue around my shaft.

She took as much as she could into her mouth, stopping just before she gagged, and proceeded to bob on me. It wasn't long before I felt the inevitable about to happen.

"Uhhhhh...I should warn you...oooooo."

She pulled me out and looked up at me. "When you do it to me and I come in your mouth, do you like it?"

"It's heavenly. The nectar of the gods. But, you've seen me ejaculate. You know what it's like. It's different from what you do...ohhhh...it's gonna be soon."

Having made her decision she took me partway in and tongued me, waiting for it. I tried to hold back, but the sight of what she was doing counteracted any attempt at control. After the first spurt she pulled back, and the next two hit next to her mouth. With a determined look she took me in again and used both her hands and her tongue until she felt I was finished.

She crawled up my chest and laid her head next to mine. "How was that?"

"I can't even describe it...ooooh...damn it was good."

She was quiet. "Was it as good as Carol? I'm sure she did it."

I stroked her hair. "There's no comparison. We were in lust and were interested only in giving a climax. This was with love. If you never do it again, I'll always remember it." I stroked her hair some more. "How was it for you? I know some girls don't like it. It won't hurt my feelings if you didn't like it."

"Probably because some boy makes them do it. I wanted to do something special for you. It was surprising in many respects. I'd like to practice some more."

"The problem here is that you have had no relief. That should be remedied immediately."

I rolled us over, knelt between her legs and threw her legs over my shoulders. I grabbed her firm, round bottom and pulled her up to my mouth and attacked her vulva with everything I had. I used every move I knew she liked and thought of some I had never tried.