All Comments on 'Cruel Choices'

Well, yes, many of us actually DO care about the story. Simple modification porn may engage what's between the legs, but the mind is a terrible thing to waste. Do you need the detailed list of questions needing answers, or shall I just distill it down to 'why?'

And I must ask if this was inspired by the Russian chick who has turned herself into that trademarked fashion doll? She had been all over the internet lately and I pray she does not get a Reality tv show a la Kartrashians.

In almost all cases, it is the story that does it for me.

He fucks, she sucks rarely is written well enough to engage me.

So yes, please continue with the "why" being answered and the "what now" developed.

Would she fucks and he sucks engage you better?

Zero, even if you have other marbles rolling around in your tin can, you must return here. You has some 'splainin' to do. ;)

Now that's a thought !

Is that where I've been going wrong ???

We really do need the story since this is more torture and detached from the usual - he wants her and she reluctantly wants it too.

Also, please edit - the typos are a real distraction.

There is a lot of story /charatcer potential here, particularly in regards to who ordered this done and why, and the stories are better when you get a feel for the characters involved, though admittedly, I'd say the detached way they deal with her made this an effective first chapter.

I'd agree with the poster who said to get an editor to catch typos etc, and maybe look in to how to get round pronouns when there are multiple people of the same gender involved, there were a few 'she's that needed a bit of reading to wrok out who they applied to

I gave you 3 stars because your story is well written. That said, I found it extremely disturbing. Nikki has been abducted, tortured, surgically altered, deprived of the ability to speak (permanently or on control by her mistress?), turned into some sort of living breathing sex doll , and turned over to some cruel sadistic "Mistress" ; all for the crime of being the daughter of someone who did something (defect to the U.S. and give the names of fellow Soviet spies?) before she was even born. It seems to me to extremely unfair to her. I get that they want to punish him, but why take it out on her. She is innocent in all of this, yet she will suffer greatly (although I'm sure her father will as well); and why to such an extreme? I don't understand the need to mutilate someone. Her life from now on is going to be very hard and very short. Why take away her ability to speak? But please keep writing; I am interested to see where you will take Nikki and if she will ever be released from her torment. I happen to prefer stories with happy endings, even those that are non-consensual.

I thought this was a sexy, obviously escapist, fantasy that works on its own terms and, compared to what's often found in this genre, is really not brutish or excessively unpleasant. Of course it's a nonconsent fantasy, but the fantasy part is foregrounded and, as I read it, the background narrative of revenge for whatever doesn't really have to be penciled in any further.

It may be the story DOES go into detail about the logic and motivations of that, but I'm quite willing to take this story as what it presents itself to be-- a sci-fi inflected erotic fantasy of extreme makeover. As such, I thought it was imaginative and very hot! I look forward to more of the author's work.

While imaginative, a story needs more than simple creativity to keep it interesting or erotic. Inflicting this magnitude of torture requires a knowledge of the body that you clearly do not possess and the absense of the knowledge is evident.

Your victim is innocent of every act her father committed but is treated as if it was she who did it. The question is why? Why permanently disfigure this girl who committed no crime? She will have to live with the results of this for the rest of her life. The surgeries, the broken tendons, the breast implants, the lashings and more. What about the mental damage? The fact that the only way out is death? Who could live with what is being done to them?

So while I applaud your creativity, you have chosen a topic that requires more than a little knowledge of human physiology and psychology. You have neither.

I've submitted a new version with some edits, nothing too major. Fixed typos and changed a few things but the story is much the same, ending is a little different so that I'll find it easier to continue if I so choose.

I've got another story that I've been working on that I'll submit quite soon too, it has a much larger emphasis on story and I'm making sure I've edited it better before I post it this time.

Thank you for reading and for your comments!

It's was very well written. Please write more

Loved your story a lot. Could have done more with her ass though. I hope you will get to that when you continue writing this story....which hopefully be very very soon :)

So incredibly anticlimactic. Everything needed better elaboration. The machines were almost impossible to imagine. Could have been very sexy.

i think some of the commentators have had body modifications , a few of them are clearly talking out of their Ass.

Fantasy,

liked the intrigue.

interesting & unusual topic .

well written , nicely developed plot

dificult subject to write about , personaly i think it's good that the protagonists personality prior to kidnap & during the events was not overly explored .. with extreme body mod. fantasy / fiction tales , you really need to keep the reader at a distance and detached from the characters , otherwise the story becomes to disturbing for nearly all readers , also adding to much detail of the procedures carried out becomes to nauseating for most people.

(the exception being those that are fans of Extreme Horror which in itself is a tiny minority of readers & an even smaller niche audience)

in my opinion the Author achieves that balance.

worthy of 4 stars .. i gave it 5 stars because i think its current score is too low.

i really hope the Author returns to this tale , it obviously was lovingly created & deserves to have a culmination.

xxxhugsxxx

TwistedOliver.

Love it can't wait for more.

I gave it the single star the subject matter warrants.

I liked the story and the mental aspect the title implies. The author could have elaborated further about the choices or developed the story line of revenge but there was too much story for the length of the tale. I hope there's more or something similar coming.

will this continue?

This story had me hooked. The mental aspect as Nikki witnessed her change, the descriptions of the situations and the wonderful slow build up to an excellent transformation reveal. This is so often rushed and leads to a disappointing reveal in other stories I have read, but this one nailed it, it must continue!

... She liked guys, she knew that, but she had had some thoughts growing up about her horse riding instructor. She'd seemed so confident and glamorous and held herself with an air of grace that couldn't be faked. But even with a few shameful thoughts now and again, that was just admiration, she tried to assure herself as the voice returned."

It may not seem like a big detail but details like this can completely disrupt the conceptual erotic flow of the story. If she likes guys and knows it, then it should say "she never thought of herself of being bi-sexual". Another detail is that, if words mean anything these, days, it would say , at least "she never thought of herself as being lesbian".

Body modification stories are bountiful on Literotica, as well as other sites, but there are enough new ideas to keep the story fresh and interesting. I thought the pace was just right.

This story, as several others, is unfinished and therefore gets rather low marks.

I am truly sorry to say that there were MANY grammatical and spelling errors in the story that at times made it difficult to know what you were trying to say. You describe things well in your story; however you desperately need an editor.

puma0916@hotmail.com

Just wasted my time reading an unfinished story.