Crushed

"Still in bed so late.. what would your mother say? Come on, I'm making pancakes."

He bounced cheerfully from the room and Alex followed slowly, pulling on a pair of jogging bottoms as he went. He ruffled his hair so it fell into his eyes and pulled up his hood, scowling at Logan's back as he practically skipped down the stairs.

He slid onto the kitchen stool and watched uneasily as Logan cooked, whistling cheerfully.

"Why are you doing this?"

"Doing what?" Logan asked innocently, pouring the pancake mix into small circles.

"Making pancakes, oh and I don't know, forcing me to do what you want."

"It's fun," Logan shrugged.

"The pancakes or the forcing?"

"Both," he grinned, leaning towards Alex with pancake mix on his finger. "Fancy a lick?"

"Ew, no, what the fuck Logan," he leaned back and Logan smirked, sticking the finger into his own mouth and moaning over dramatically.

"Tastes so damn good, almost as good as our kiss," he said smugly and Alex crinkled his nose.

"Fuck you."

"Language," Logan said in mock annoyance. "I think I might have to punish you if you keep talking like that."

"Punish me?! You wouldn't."

"Wouldn't I? Im the one holding on to your journal and I'm pretty sure you'll do anything to keep its contents off social media."

Alex gritted his teeth, but his silence was more of a confirmation than a retort.

"That's what I thought, here... eat your pancakes."

Alex looked down at the pancakes and felt his stomach rumble. He picked up his knife and fork and took a bite. Despite himself, he felt the surprise on his face betray the scowl he had been maintaining as he tasted the best pancakes he had ever eaten.

"Good right?"

"They're ok," he shrugged and Logan laughed, beginning to wash up. Alex ate, watching Logan's back, feeling the confusing wash of emotions run through his brain.

He was angry, no, furious at him for taking his journal. And yet, he was being so nice and cheerful he was reminded of the old best friend that he had missed. Then there was the fear and trepidation about what he was going to make him do, and the doubt in himself about how far he may go to keep the journal a secret. And finally, the yearning, aching desire, increased tenfold by yesterday's kiss. He felt like his head would explode.

When he finished the pancakes, Logan washed up his plate and turned looking round the tidy kitchen satisfied. His eyes fell on Alex again and Alex wished he could decipher the glimmer that shone in his eyes, his lips lifted in a familiar amused smirk. He was an arrogant arsehole, but fucking hell did it look good on him.

"Let's go back up to your room," Logan said, walking out of the kitchen with long strides and bounding up the stairs two at a time. Alex followed, nervous for what was happening next. He walked into his bedroom slowly, Logan was holding the door open, and once inside closed it behind him.

It was dimly lit, his curtains still closed the light only half trickled in, the rest illuminated by the blue glow of his gaming light. The blue tinge played in Logan's light hair and made his eyes look even brighter. He pushed him firmly in the chest so that he stumbled back into his wardrobe doors. Before he could get his bearings back Logan was close, his body only inches from his. He could smell him, at once a familiar and yet unfamiliar smell. His arm brushed Alex's shoulder as he braced himself against the wardrobe, his other hand took Alex's chin gently but firmly.

He knew what was coming, he wanted to beg him, but whether to stop or not he wasn't sure. He opened his mouth but no sound came out, no breath. They were frozen for a moment that lasted an eternity. Those blue eyes looked into his, glittering with what he was beginning to recognise was desire. Before he could wrap his head around what that meant Logan's lips closed the gap, kissing him.

It wasn't like yesterday's kiss, a brief brush so quick you could have missed it. This was an intense kiss. Logan's mouth was warm, sweet from pancakes and syrup, his lips firm and insistent. His hand held Alex's chin so tightly he couldn't pull away, not that he was trying too hard. He felt his resistance to Logan's charm melting in the heat of his flushed cheeks, racing heart and steadily hardening dick. He began to kiss him back, to open himself up to the feeling. It was so much better than he had ever imagined. Even more so because it was Logan. His tormentor and his obsession.

All too soon, and yet what felt like hours later Logan broke the kiss. He breathed in deeply and then let out a low laugh, his lip curling.

"Told you I was curious."

Alex looked at his lighthearted expression and frowned. Now the euphoric glow of the kiss was subsiding, his sanity returned.

"But... you hate me?"

"I've never hated you Alex."

"Then why, the years of... of shit you gave me..."

Logan sighed, moving to sit next to him, leaning with his back against the wardrobe, he pressed his leg against Alex's and the touch sent a thrill through him despite the uncertainty of the situation.

"I guess I owe you an explanation. I had hoped to... well I guess now is better than never," he hesitated for a long time. Perhaps waiting for Alex to encourage him. But he didn't he just sat staring at his hands, listening intently.

"I was a dick. I admit it. I am still a dick, and I will still be a dick. But now I'm older, I understand why. I need to be in control. And I don't mean just situations or of myself I mean other people. I've learned what I like, and what I need. When we were younger I used to get this sort of... thrill when I said those things to you. I thought I was just fucked up, but it's not that. It's because I liked the look in your face when I did it. The rush it gave me. I know how that sounds but it's true. The humiliation, it turns me on. When I realised this later in life, I realised that that was why I did those things back then. And then once I got you back in my head I couldn't get you out."

He paused, looking at Alex but this time he didn't seem to expect a response, more he was gauging his reaction to his words. "I tried to put it out of my mind and experimented with some girls, and then some guys too, I don't care. I found out my third craving is pleasure. I love to see someone doing my bidding, not knowing whether I would bring them painful shame or blissful pleasure. I can't describe how it feels, that power."

Alex felt like his whole body was covered in pins and needles. His mouth dry and a ringing in his ears as Logan continued.

"When your mum invited me here, I couldn't quite believe my luck. But, I knew you hated me. There was no way you would agree to what I wanted. Then I found your diary and saw... Well you know what I saw."

Alex did know. He had fantasised about Logan for years in that book. Written down his dirties dreams and imaginings. Logan holding him down and fucking him, using him... it was exactly what Logan wanted. But they were just fantasies... did he really want that to happen in real life? He felt an uneasy thrill at the thought and his boxers felt suddenly tight. He swallowed.

"You're a natural submissive," Logan smiled, a dark smile that hinted at so much more.

"A what?" Alex whispered, frowning.

"A submissive. Means you like to be given orders, to submit to someone else. It's what I've been looking for."

Logan moved so that he was facing Alex, crouching beside him, one arm braced against the cupboard, his face close, staring deep into his eyes. Alex was unable to look away, he felt like a vice was holding his face, forcing him to look back into the deep blue eyes that he had dreamed about since he could remember.

"So I have one question for you Alex. I've been totally honest about why I'm here. Do you want it? There will be times that you might hate me, might regret agreeing to this, but in turn I guarantee I'll make you feel pleasure that you have never experienced. I will play out every twisted fantasy from your little book with you, if that's truly what you want. I ask for a month, and if you decide that it's not what you want, I'll go and you'll never hear from me again, I will give your diary back, no harm no foul."

"I-" Alex felt tense. His mind was reeling, not quite convinced this was real. He let it wander into fantasies of what this could mean, handing over full control to Logan. It frightened him. He could be cruel, he knew that already. But the idea of being intimate with him was enough to make him squirm in pleasure at the mere thought, his cock hardening, leaking within his boxers. It was all he had wanted for years. He was brought out of his thoughts with a gasp, Logan had leaned in and begun to kiss his neck, his lips trailing slowly up from his collarbone towards his ear, his breath tickling the sensitive skin. His eyes flickered closed and his mouth parted, without meaning to a small moan escaped him.

"You know you want this," Logan whispered in his ear, and Alex felt a pressure at his crotch. Logan was rubbing his hard groin through his joggers, firm and deliberate.

"Oh," he sighed, unable to fight the sound. It felt so good, he had never had someone touch him like this. It was electric. Euphoric. Addictive. He needed this. Now he had experienced it, he couldn't go back. He knew he may regret the words, but he couldn't fight anymore.

"I hate you," he whispered.

"I know," Logan breathed into his ear, but he did not stop his attentions. It felt like the last barricade had fallen.

"I'll do it," he gasped. He thought he could feel Logan's smile against his neck as he continued to kiss him. His hand moved up slowly, finding the waistband of Alex's joggers and slipping inside. The bare skin of his hand against his already straining cock was blissfully surreal. He held it firmly within his strong confident hand, beginning a steady rhythm.

"Say that you're mine," Logan said, his voice firmer this time, it wasn't a request it was a command.

Instinctively without even hesitating, or really thinking what he was saying, so distracted by the feelings at his neck and dock he responded, "I'm yours. I always have been."

He didn't mean to add that on the end, but as he opened his eyes he saw Logan lift his head from his neck and smiled at him like he had already known that to be true. His smile was hungry, possessive, and slightly sinister. It turned him on. He felt vulnerable and strangely a part of him loved it.

Logan continued to jerk him off, speeding up his ministrations as he stared into Alex's eyes.

"Is this the first time someone has touched you like this?"

He nodded and Logan grunted in approval.

"Fuck, that makes it even hotter," he said in a low voice.

Alex shuddered and moaned, but couldn't break the eye contact. He felt his cock begin to judder, the sign of an oncoming orgasm.

"Don't look away, don't shut your eyes," Logan ordered. Alex moaned, the pleasure sending hot and cold fizzing numbness through his limbs, he couldn't hold it in.

He came into his boxers with a guttural moan, his eyebrows furrowing and his jaw locking his mouth open in a silent breathless silent scream of pleasure. Logan watched him, a satisfied look in his eyes, a small smile on his lips, still gently moving his hand up and down inside his boxers as his cock continued to quiver and shudder. When he finally breathed again and his cock began to slowly soften, Logan withdrew his hand and grinned. He wiped the cum on Alex's joggers. He considered protesting but was still in such a dreamy bliss that he found he didn't care all too much.

"Ready to return the favour?"

Alex felt his pleasure ebb away to be replaced by fear and anticipation.

"I-" Alex glanced down at the definite lump in Logan's jeans and was painfully aware of his inexperience. "I've never done this before."

"I know, and don't worry, I like that."

This made Alex feel a little better as he set his shoulders and nodded.

"Take off your clothes, down to your boxers."

Hesitating briefly, Alex cringed. He hated his body. And yet, he had known this would come. He pulled his Jodie and tshirt over his head, feeling the cool air in the bedroom on his skin, pale in the dim room, the curtains were still drawn, but a few shafts of afternoon sun shone through. One glistened in Logan's hair as he stood up, moving to the side of the room and watching Alex undress with that same look in his eyes that Alex found so fascinating and yet terrifying at once.

Once he was in his boxers he looked up at Logan for his next instruction.

"Crawl to my feet and kneel."

His tone left no room for argument. How had he got himself into this? Was this all just a dream? In a daze he crawled across the carpet to where he stood. He knelt and looked up at him, towering above him. The position was incredibly symbolic, a physical representation of what he had just agreed to become.

"You have no idea how long I have wanted this," Logan murmured, and then laughed softly. "Or maybe you're the only one who does. Undo my jeans."

Alex swallowed, looking at the zip and button of Logan's jeans, the clear bulge underneath them. His fingers trembled as he fumbled the buckle of his belt. Logan didn't help. He just watched Alex struggle with an amused expression. Eventually he had undone the belt and the button of the jeans. He pulled down his zip and then hesitated, looking up at Logan nervously.

"Pull them down, and my boxers too," he said, but his voice was a little softer this time. He knew that Alex was well out of his comfort zone.

He reached for the belt again and pulled, the jeans fell down to Logan's ankles. He blinked at his naked legs, the blonde hairs, so close. He had never been this close to someone like this. His breath caught as he looked at Logan's boxers. His cock was visibly straining against the black cloth. When he pulled the boxers away it would be aiming directly at his face. He squirmed, feeling the anxiety ripple through him.

Logan's finger found his chin, lifting his face to look at his. He smiled, his eyes shining. He looked like a Greek god from a movie. Looking down at him like this, Alex realised he loved it.

"It's ok, breathe. You're doing good."

Alex nodded, and looked again at his task. He tucked his fingers into the elastic waistband of Logan's boxers and pulled them down to join the trousers at his ankles.

Logan's dick was huge. Alex fought back a gasp of surprise when he saw it, jutting out only mere centimetres from his face. He always thought his dick was an acceptable size but now he worried that perhaps it was small after all.

"Relax, keep calm," Logan reassured him. "I think first you should use your hands. Put your thumb and finger around the base."

Alex did as he was told, feeling light-headed as he held Logan's dick in his hand. How many times had he wondered what it would feel like? He began to jerk off Logan right there in his childhood bedroom, adjusting to his instructions. He heard Logan's breathing adjust and he could tell he was enjoying it.

"Do you think you're ready to try using your mouth?"

Alex winced at the thought of that massive organ in his mouth, but then as he thought about it, his cock hardened. He wondered what it would taste like. He leaned forward slowly, tentatively licking the warm pink tip of Logan's cock. He heard Logan's small gasp of pleasure and felt pleased that he'd caused it. He wanted to do it again. He licked, longer this time, swirling his tongue slightly, getting the salty taste of the precum.

"Oh fuck Alex," Logan moaned his hand reaching down to his head, tangling in his hair and holding it tightly at the root. It hurt a little but he didn't mind.

With a burst of confidence he opened his mouth and took in the first few inches of his cock. He closed his mouth and sucked, bobbing his head gently, using his tongue to try and get those moans out of Logan again that sounded so delicious. It turned out, sucking cock was actually not so bad, a bit salty and a bit strange to have his mouth so full, but not as disgusting as he had been lead to believe. He tried to bob his head so that with each suck he took in more of his cock. When he had taken in almost three quarters he found his body fighting against him, he gagged and glanced up at Logan apologetically but he didn't seem to care, he was in a world of pleasure.

He noticed Logan's grip in his hair begin to dictate the speed and frequency of his thrusts and so he let him. His gag reflex improved, and although his eyes watered and his jaw ached, he was able to take even more cock. His nose almost tickling the light golden public hairs at his navel.

"Look at me, look at me and keep sucking," Logan moaned and Alex did. Looking up into his unfairly handsome face, bobbing on his dick. It was hot. So much hotter than any of his dreams had ever imagined. His cock was rock solid in his boxers. Could you cum from giving someone a blow job?

"Ugh fuck," Logan groaned, clearly reaching a new zone of pleasure as he panted, grabbing Alex's head with both of his hands now and beginning to speed up the thrust. He was fucking his face. Alex tried to breath through his nose but it became difficult, he panicked. It was too much, too fast, too deep. Suddenly Logan pulled out giving Alex a chance to cough, saliva drooling down his chin, gasping for air. But Logan wasn't done, once he had gotten a few breaths he was forcing his cock in again, deeper still this time. Holding his head hard to his body and thrusting. He seemed to push in past Alex's mouth, and into his throat. It burned. His eyes stung and the oxygen deprivation made everything more intense.

"Fuck, Alex this is fucking incredible."

That was all he needed. He steeled himself against the pain, and tried to relax his mouth and throat, he had handed himself over to Logan to do what he wanted. Well, this was what he wanted.

A couple more times he was given the chance to breath before finally he heard Logan grunting.

"Shit, I'm going to- to-" he never finished his sentence. With a loud moan and a shudder that shook through from Logan's body right into Alex, he came. Alex felt the hot semen filling his mouth and throat and tried to swallow. He coughed and spluttered, Logan stayed deep inside his mouth and Alex pushed his hands against him, desperate for air.

He finally relented and Alex fell to the floor gasping and coughing, the room span and he retched and shuddered. He felt a strange mix of shame, of having been used, at the same time as feeling a triumphant pleasure. Logan Conners. Finally. It was real. Either from relief or more likely lack of oxygen, Alex blacked out.

"Alex?" Logan's voice roused him, he felt himself being moved into a sitting position and he raised his head feeling dizzy.

"I think you fainted there for a sec there," Logan said, his voice a mixture of concern and light amusement.

"Oh," Alex rubbed his throat. It felt hoarse and sore.

"That was fucking amazing. I can't believe how well you took it, I kept expecting you to make me stop but you just kept going."

Alex shrugged, he felt tired but accomplished, "I agreed didn't I?"

Logan narrowed his eyes, a small smile forming, "you enjoyed that didn't you?"

Alex reddened. The way it felt being face fucked by Logan, being completely at his mercy, his very breath deprived from him. He loved it.

"I knew it," Logan grinned, "you're a natural."

Alex remembered Logan calling him a natural submissive. He began to realise what he had meant. He leaned back against the side of the bed closing his eyes, his body felt like he had run a marathon, and his throat ached. But he felt good, content and satisfied. It wasn't a feeling he was familiar with. He could still taste the saltiness in his mouth from Logan's cum. He felt his stomach flip at the mere thought. He wanted so hard to hate Logan, but the more intimate he became the more his chest tightened. He had wanted him for so long and he had seemed so out of reach, now he was here. Wanting him.