Crushed

His eyes flickered open briefly as he felt a soft pressure at his forehead, but it was just Logan, gently wiping the sweaty strands of hair from his face. He closed his eyes, relishing in the feeling, as Logan stroked his hair gently. He felt Logan's lips touch his, so gentle after what had just happened.

"Thank you," he whispered between kisses. "For giving yourself to me."

Alex was too tired to say anything but he felt like answering the kiss would do in place of "You're welcome".

***

For the rest of the day, Logan went into overdrive looking after Alex. It was not what he had expected and was such an unfamiliar experience he felt a little uncomfortable at first. Logan ran him a bath, cooked dinner, cleaned and tidied the house, ordering Alex to just sit and keep him company.

Then he put on a movie and beckoned Alex to sit beside him. It was weird. It felt like he was his... he couldn't even think the word. It was too hopeful a thought. They watched together for a while, Logan had put his hand on Alex's knee quite early into the movie, but was now slowly moving it down, tracing an invisible line towards his crotch, he fondled his balls for a few minutes before leaning close.

"Kneel for me," he whispered in Alex's ear. Alex slipped from the sofa and knelt before Logan, who undid his jeans. "I'm going to do some internet shopping, some... things I think you'll enjoy. I don't want you peaking. Now, suck my balls."

After the kindness of the afternoon, it only seemed fair to do what he wanted without complaint. And he couldnt deny the rush ans tightening of his balls he felt when he had to do his bidding. He wondered if that was some plan of Logan's, but he got the impression that he actually wanted to care for him. He told him that he craved giving pleasure, maybe he didn't just mean in the bedroom. Well, he could return the favour. He leaned in using his hand to move Logan's semi hard dick and began to lick and suck his balls. He smelt good. Logan's hand fell on his head lightly, but he was happy to let Alex go at his own pace. It was surprisingly comforting feeling Logan's fingers lace in his hair. He realised that so far he really was quite enjoying their arrangement.

What must have been about twenty minutes later, he began to change his mind. His knees hurt, his jaw hurt, but Logan wasn't paying him any attention anymore. His eyes were glued to his phone. After what felt like an hour at least, Logan put his phone down and put both hands on Alex's face, lifting it up.

"Not one complaint."

"My jaw hurts," he retorted and Logan laughed.

"You might have to get used to that feeling with me."

He kissed him and Alex felt that giddy glee wash over him again. Logan was here, kissing him, he had a month of this to look forward to.

"What did you buy?" He asked and Logan grinned that slightly unnerving grin.

"You'll see," he said, looking at his watch and stretching. "It's late. Maybe I should go home..."

Alex felt the disappointment fall across his face before he could stop it, Logan clocked it and smiled.

"Maybe tomorrow I bring a bag with me so I can stay, would you like that?"

Alex blushed and nodded, still kneeling before him like this on painful knees was a reminder of his position. He knew what Logan staying over might mean but if today had been anything to go by, it would be an exciting night.

"Ok then. Logan stood, gesturing for Alex to do the same. He hugged him, then holding his face kissed him, it was a hungry kiss. Alex liked these kisses most. Then he said his goodbyes and was gone.

Alex went to his bedroom in a daze. The last two days had been a whirlwind. He thought back on when Logan had face fucked him this afternoon and found himself pulling on his dick absentmindedly. He frowned a little. In Logan's presence he felt like he was in a trance, he was so handsome and charming and his aching heart was so desperate for love that it was easy to give in. He had loved Logan since before he knew what the word meant, and it was with an incredulous laugh that he touched his lips.

But it had been so easy to put aside his pain. And now, now that he was gone, it bubbled back to the surface. Emo kid. Fag. The pranks, the gossip, the endless torture of bullying instigated by Logan and his friends. Was this just another one of his tricks? Did Logan really care about him at all? He fell hours later into an uneasy sleep, his dreams twisting. Logan stroking his hair only for him to grip it tightly and force him face first into a toilet, laughing with a cruel light in his eyes.

***

He woke early the next morning, feeling excited. Logan was coming back.

'Whatever had happened in the past... was in the past,' he muttered to himself as he made breakfast.

An hour later he grew fidgety. Still no Logan. He felt like a dog waiting for its owner to come home, that annoyed him. What was Logan doing? He considered going out, but there was a part of him that felt he shouldn't, in case Logan came and he wasn't here. Would he just leave?

He played some video games to distract him and browsed social media. As usual he found himself on Logan's feed. Nothing new. Then he heard the rattle of keys in the lock and darted to his feet. He ran to the hallway and watched as Logan came in through the front door, a gym bag slung over one shoulder.

He looked... tired. Definitely tired, maybe even a little sad. He saw Alex and smiled, but it looked pained and he didn't meet his eyes. Dread filled him, something had happened.

"What's wrong?" He asked tentatively and Logan raised his eyebrows.

"Huh? No. Nothings wrong, it's fine- I'm..." he trailed off and sighed. "It's nothing. Have you had lunch yet?"

"No," Alex said and Logan nodded.

"Ok, I'm making some cheese toasties."

Logan cooked quietly, and Alex, ever the socially awkward boy he was, sat quietly too, unsure what to say. They ate in relative silence and when the kitchen was tidy Logan hesitated, standing in the middle of the kitchen, his shoulders slumped looking lost. Alex thought he might start crying and was shocked to see him looking vulnerable.

"What do you want me to do?" He asked tentatively.

Logan rubbed his forehead as if he was tired and shrugged, "whatever you want. I don't mind."

"You don't mind?" Alex frowned. "Logan what's going on?"

Logan looked at him long and hard and Alex had to stop his mouth falling open when he saw a sparkle in his eyes that was not charisma or cheekiness, it really was tears. Logan turned his back, hiding his emotion, rummaging in his bag as though looking for something but pulling nothing out.

Alex approached slowly and put a hand on his shoulder. He tensed instantly, then seemed to melt forward, sagging. It scared him. This was not the Logan he knew.

"I'm sorry," Logan said, his voice thick and low.

"For what?"

"For what," Logan repeated and he startled Alex by laughing. He span round and his eyes burned with anger. "Why did you agree to this Alex? Why? I'm a bad person."

"Wooooooooooow slow down, where has this come from?!"

"I should go, I shouldn't have come-"

"No," Alex growled, standing between Logan and the door. He was angry too now and Logan seemed briefly taken aback. "I won't let you do this again. Don't come back into my life and make me start to like you again and then just fuck me over. Again. You can't."

Logan nodded, pressing his lips tightly.

"Fair point" he conceded. "I... I read your diary some more last night."

Alex felt a chill go down his spine. There was so much anger and hate in that diary towards Logan as well as his obsession. What had he read?

"I know I said some... things about you. But I was angry and hurt and-"

"You tried to kill yourself."

Logan stared at him, his expression a mixture of pain and anger.

"You tried to kill yourself, because of me," he repeated, he brushed away his tears angrily.

Oh. Yeah. That.

"I'm not proud of it. It didn't work and i didn't try it again," Alex said in a small voice, looking down ashamed.

"But the point is you tried. You wrote and I quote 'I cannot live another fucking day of Logan's torture'."

Alex nodded, it sounded about right.

"Look it's in the past, I know now it was a mistake. It wasn't ever really about you, it was about me and learning to accept myself."

"I just... I don't think this is a good idea, what If I drive you to that point again?"

"You won't!"

"I might!" Logan gripped the back of a chair and sighed, looking down in shame. As he spoke his voice was strangled by tears "I'm... so sorry Alex. I'm not a good person, I've told you. I don't deserve you in my life and you certainly don't deserve me. I never knew how badly I hurt you. I never thought that-"

Alex walked towards him, and he broke off. He wouldn't look at him for a long time, but Alex waited. He reached up and wiped a tear from his cheek. Eventually he met his eyes reluctantly, wiping the tears with his sleeve. Alex smiled. He leaned forward and kissed him, Logan responded slowly but couldn't resist for long. When they broke apart Alex laughed. Logan frowned at him.

"What's so funny?" He asked.

"I've realised something."

"Realised what?"

Alex looked at Logan, the agonising emotions that were in his eyes were familiar. He hadn't seen it, hadn't thought to look for it until now. It all suddenly was painfully obvious.

"This whole time. I thought I was the one with the unrequited crush on you. But I was wrong wasn't I?" he looked deep into Logan's blue eyes and had to contain his desire to launch himself at him in desire at his revelation. "You fancied me. Didn't you? You still do?"

Logan pursed his lips. He said nothing, but the silence was telling. Alex felt on a roll.

"You did all that crap because you were too scared to face yourself and what your friends would think!'

A small smile curved the corner of Logan's lips.

"Took you this long to work it out huh?" He said in a small but pleased voice.

Alex felt a rush of excitement. "I forgive you," he blurted out. "I forgive all of it. Just... jeez... fucking hell Logan!"

Logan laughed, "I know. I- Theres nothing I can say to fix what I did and said. All I can do is apologise, promise I'll do better, and beg for a fresh start."

Alex felt like a weight was being lifted from his back that had been there for a long time. An apology. A promise. A fresh start.

"I would really like that too."

Logan smiled a small smile, "What a mess we are right? But you like me, I like you. I like to dominate and you're a natural submissive. What fun we could have..."

There were no more words for Alex. He kissed him with a passion that almost knocked him over. The world made sense. He needed Logan's body, his hands around his back, his mouth on his own, the taste of him, the heady scent.

They stumbled backwards towards the sofa, kissing and laughing. Logan flopped down and Alex followed. He didn't need to be told what to do this time. He slid from the sofa and knelt on the floor before him, undoing Logan's jeans with a hungry need. His cock was warm and heavy in his hand and Logan moaned as he held it. He grinned up at him and Logan smiled back. Alex felt invincible in this moment, joyous and confident. He took Logan into his mouth and enjoyed the warm feeling of his cock, the saltiness of his precum as he rapidly grew beneath his lips. He heard Logan moan above him and relished in the sound, bobbing his head at a constant rhythm, his free hand finding Logan's balls and fondling them in the way he had learned yesterday would get a response.

"Fuck, Alex you're too good at this for only your second day ever sucking dick."

He broke off his sucking to laugh, "am I a natural at that too?"

"God yes," Logan grinned, letting his head fall back against the sofa. His hand fell reflexively into his hair and Alex enjoyed the feel of it. Possessive, guiding.

After a few minutes Logan tugged gently on Alex's hair signalling him to stop. When he did he pulled him up to kiss him, grabbing his legs so that he straddled him. They kissed hungrily, Alex kept his hands on Logan's dick rubbing it between them, grinding his own cock against it through his joggers.

"I want to fuck you, would you be ready for that?"

Alex moaned into the kiss at the words, the idea made his cock quiver in excitement.

"Yes," he whispered and Logan grunted in approval.

"Go upstairs," Logan ordered, "I'll bring some things from my bag."

Alex bounded up the stairs two at a time and waited in his bedroom. He was nervous and didn't know where to sit. At first he sat on his chair, then on his bed, and then as he heard Logan's footsteps on the stairs, followed his instincts and slid to a kneel facing the door.

Logan chuckled when he opened the door.

"You really know how to turn me on," he muttered and Alex felt the wash of giddy excitement that Logan brought him these days. How strange it was in comparison to how he used to feel at the sound of his laughter.

"Shall I undress... sir?" He asked, adding the sir with a smile and Logan smiled back, clearly enjoying the title.

"Please."

When he got down to his boxers he hesitated, but Logan gave him no sign to stop, so he pulled them off with a deep breath. Stepping out and kicking them to the side. He stood before Logan completely naked, he shivered.

"Cold?" Logan asked.

"A little," he admitted and Logan beckoned him closer. He straddled him, like he had downstairs, but this time it felt so much more intense, naked whilst Logan was still fully clothed made him feel vulnerable. It was so hot. Logan kissed him, one hand warm around his back the other at his crotch, playing with his balls. Suddenly, he tightened his grip around Alex's balls and he gasped into Logan's mouth. His other hand flew up to his hair, holding it tightly, he was immobilised.

"Tell me that you're mine."

"I'm yours," he moaned, his balls ached.

"And what am I going to do to you?"

"You're going to fuck me," he replied with a shiver of delight.

"How am I going to fuck you?"

"Hard, so fucking hard. Please, I need to feel you inside me."

Alex felt so horny, like a bitch on heat as he squirmed in Logan's lap, completely at his mercy.

"Good boy," Logan smiled and the words sent a tingle through his already throbbing dick. Logan's grip loosened, his hands moving to his back as he turned, dropping Alex onto the bed, leaning over him, pressing their bodies together. Alex wished Logan would take off his clothes. He reached for his shirt but Logan smacked his hand away.

"Not yet," he instructed, as he leaned in, kissing Alex's neck slowly, down his collar bone, his sternum, his belly button, then his mouth found his cock.

"Oh fuck," Alex moaned as he felt Logan's warm mouth on his cock, his tongue was rough and strong, warm and wet as it licked slowly up the shaft, spiralled around the tip of his cock before taking him back into his mouth. He continued to suck, and Alex didn't even try to hold in his moans. He knew that Logan wanted to hear them.

Logan's warm mouth popped off his cock and he looked down, seeing his hungry eyes, his smile curving on that all too perfect face. This must be a dream, there was no way that Logan Conners was in his bed, sucking his cock, about to fuck him. He licked his tongue over Alex's cock, not breaking eye contact the whole time. He almost came right then and there. Alex heard the snap of a plastic lid and saw a jelly liquid on the fingertips of Logan's free hand.

"Ready," he asked between long teasing licks. Alex nodded, shuddering in pleasure, too wrapped up in it to speak.

He gasped as he felt the cool jelly touch his asshole. Logan did not stop sucking, licking and pleasuring his dick as his thumb made small circles around his asshole. It tingled and Alex couldn't believe how sensitive it was. He felt Logan increase his pressure, the tip of his thumb pressing into his ass. It felt intrusive, frightening, too fast, amazing, addictive, too slow all at the same time. He wanted him in him, filling him, consuming him, and yet he was frightened by the idea of the pain.

His thumb pushed in further, still making those little circles. Logan's tongue hit a sweetspot on Alex's dick and he bit his lip in pleasure. Logan pushed deeper still, now adding a finger to the thumb, stretching his ass gently. The mixture of pain and pleasure continued on, Logan adding fingers until he had three fingers slipping in and out of his asshole. Suddenly he stopped, and Alex opened his eyes. He watched as Logan pulled his clothes off, revealing his chiselled athletic body, naturally tanned skin, huge cock. He felt the dreamy smile on his face as he watched him, unable to tear his eyes away. Was this all just an incredibly vivid dream? He fought the urge to pinch himself.

Logan caught him staring and crawled up the bed over him, his hard dick brushed against Alex's tummy as he kissed him, caressing his face and hair, then down his body.

"I'm going to fuck you so damn hard," he growled into Alex's ear. "I'm going to take your virgin ass, it belongs to me. You belong to me."

As he spoke he grabbed Alex's legs, forcing them upwards in an odd angle so that his ass was in the air. He gasped as he realised what was about to happen. Logan opened the lube bottle again and stroked it liberally up and down his cock, smearing the remnants into Alex's already sticky asscrack.

He leaned over him, pushing his legs down with his body as he lined up his cock. When he first felt it, he panicked. The head felt huge, much bigger than his fingers. There was no way it would fit.

Logan saw his fear and placed a hand on his cheek.

"Such a good boy, don't worry. I'll make you feel good I promise."

Alex swallowed and nodded. That was what Logan was waiting for. The head slipped in. Alex winced and gritted his teeth against the firey pain as his asshole had to stretch to accommodate him. Logan continued to gently rock inside him, and Alex realised the burn was not getting worse. In fact his ass was adjusting to the stretched sensation. But it still felt strange.

As Logan continued to rock deeper and deeper inside him, he took a moment to appreciate that he had just lost his virginity to Logan Conners. This sent a joyous thrill through his entire body, his cock quivering. Then he became aware of a whole new feeling. A pleasure, not this time centered around his cock, but deep inside where Logan was rocking, almost fully inside him now.

Logan groaned when at last he bottomed out, his entire huge cock was in Alex's ass. Alex could feel it, a painful pressure in his midriff and a building pleasure from what he guessed must be his prostate. Logan kissed him, and he kissed him back, wrapping his arms and legs around him possessively. Logan was his as much as he was Logan's. Now he knew it was not a one sided affiar, it all became so much more exciting. He loved knowing that he was inside him. It was sexy and it felt so fucking good.

Little did he know how good it was about to feel. Logan began to fuck him. It was slow and steady at first, a gentle rhythm, rubbing against that pleasurable zone that made his toes curl and his body tremble. Whenever he made a good thrust and Alex moaned in response, Logan would always pay attention and try to hit the spot again, soon he seemed to have worked out where exactly to thrust to make Alex moan in pleasure.

Then he really went to town. He fucked him hard alright, pumping in and out, hitting the sweet spot time and time again. Alex couldn't hold it in, his moans became louder, cries of pleasure and pain and euphoric need as his veins filled with fire, his nerves feeling like millions of electric shocks were passing over his skin, it was pleasure like he had never known. Just as Logan had promised.