All Comments on 'Crystal Ch. 02'

./wondering How/ When are 'superpowers' born? xDD

Really enjoying the build so far . You have huge potential with this to be a great story, my only request is don't go splitting. Max and crystal up . 5 stars

Please

Good story, looking forward to more chapters

Getting better. Would like to see more description of the different characters. Let's see how good your imagination really is.

I just started this series and I thought it funny that you listed one of Shinobay's powers as "eye vision", instead of hyper - vision or such. So, he can see using his eyes. Wow.

I figured this would come back to haunt me, yes Shinobay has eye powers which include laser vision, xray vision, night vision, and infrared vision (during the winter). I know I should've thorough with it, but it took up too much space. I will be more in depth in the future.

Too many inconsistencies. Max got between crystal and baddy so he could be killed, suicide by criminal, not because of his love for her. Sheesh he had never even met her.

no inner monolog to show the reader your characters feelings and emotional depth and turmoil to give them feeling. Good story basis but no depth feels like the reader is an outside observer and not privvy to your character's motives.

Didn't max sit in a coma for several days? At the hero meeting crystal says it happened yesterday. I'm only 2 chapters in and getting confused.