Cuck Therapy Pt. 04

Lisa hung up. She looked at me and let out a breath.

"What did Brunder say?"

She sighed.

"She was very understanding. Really, John, I need you to not be so..."

"I know, I'm sorry. This isn't easy for me."

Lisa looked at me, and rubbed my thigh, giving me a little, sad smile. She leaned over and kissed me.

"Okay," she said. "Let's put it behind us."

"What's up tomorrow after work? What was that about?"

"Well, first some good news. Starting tomorrow, we're going to be able to touch each other again. No intercourse for now, but, you know, oral or whatever else."

"Okay, great. And after work tomorrow?"

"Well... tomorrow," she slapped her hand on my thigh amicably, "tomorrow, we are to go Kerr, Brunder and Associates to pick out a vibrator from their apparently very extensive collection."

I stared at her.

"What?"

"Yeah." She shrugged.

"Like a vibrating.... dildo?"

She nodded.

"They've got a collection of fucking dildos at Kerr, Brunder and Associates?"

"Apparently."

"Well, of course they do."

She shrugged.

"I mean, they do seem to do a lot of sex therapy. We've learned that. Couples use toys in their sex lives sometimes. It's pretty common. I mean, we've never, but... why not? We're in new territory, here, right?"

I nodded.

"Yeah. Okay. They're open after 5?"

"She said she'd ask Julienne if she'd stay late. I offered to go before they closed, but they need both of us to go."

"For a little couples' cock-shopping adventure?"

"It's not a real cock, John. Lots of couples have sex toys. Could be fun. That's why people have them." She rubbed my thigh.

"Yeah, yeah I guess. Okay. Fine. Brunder knows about the internet, though? Apparently it's possible to get sex toys there. Or at sex shops."

"Apparently their selection is unparalleled."

I nodded.

"Naturally. What respectable therapy firm would be without? Okay."

___

"So, there's a little more I need to fill you in about. About the... ah... "

"Dildo?"

Lisa nodded.

We were walking toward Kerr, Brunder and Associates, having parked nearby.

"Okay."

"I've got to pick one that's as close in size and shape to.... um...."

I stopped. She stopped with me. I stared at her.

"Him?"

She nodded.

I sighed. "Why?"

"She didn't say."

"Fuck's sake. Why? To torture me?"

Lisa sighed, and put her arms around me.

"You know how much emphasis Dr. Brunder puts on dispelling the mystery between us, about... what I did. I guess this helps do that. We're killing our secrets before they kill us, John. And anyway...."

She gave me a peck.

"It is really torture? I mean, I understand it must be difficult, but, I mean... don't you kind of enjoy... imagining, you know... what happened? Doesn't it kind of..."

"Fine. Fuck it, let's get this done."

I let her take my hand and we were soon at the big glass doors, which we found locked.

"Guess no cock shopping today," I said.

"There's Julienne coming."

Julienne was trotting towards us with her clipboard, waving. She had on a pleated short skirt and her standard tight, dark sweater of thin material.

"Sorry!" she shouted through the plate glass as she unlocked the doors. She got them open.

"Sorry! Allo, John and Lisa!"

She gave us French air kisses.

"Come in, come in!"

She locked the door behind us.

"Thanks so much, Julienne," Lisa said. "I know you had to stay late."

"Oh, it's not a problem! We're going shopping! It's fun, yes?"

Lisa chuckled.

It was hard to not be enamoured of petite Julienne, with her French accent and unfailing ebullience. I had dreaded an extremely awkward experience, having to go select a dildo in her presence, but I could sense now that she knew how to navigate it.

We followed Julienne down a hallway to the other side of the large reception area from Brunder's office.

She checked her clipboard as was walked.

"We need a toy? A dildo?" she inquired with a pleasant smile.

"Yes," Lisa nodded, shyly smiling. "Dr. Brunder..." Lisa trailed off.

"Of course!" agreed Julienne.

We reached a door and Julienne opened it and indicated for us to go in. She followed us. It was a white room with no furniture. Cupboards, floor to ceiling and half that size lined the walls. They each had numbered labels on them.

"Okay," Julienne said, surveying the room with her finger on a spot on her clipboard. "Sorry, they've just done some rearranging. C15 through C18.... Here we are."

Julienne pulled open a cupboard door. Large dildos of various shapes and colors, standing straight up on shelves, filled the cabinet. I could sense that Lisa was as shocked as I was. There was easily more than a hundred.

"Voila," said Julienne, smiling.

We approached in fascination. They were extremely lifelike, some with the sort of peculiar imperfections of texture and symmetry you would expect from a biological penis.

"I'm sorry, I don't have dimensions here," Julienne said, indicating our chart. "How big about?" Her eyes went between me and Lisa, unsure of who to ask.

"Um, well, big?" Lisa said.

"Big - okay!" Julienne started to close the door, but then opened it again, having seemed to have second thoughts. "Bigger than these?" she checked.

Lisa nodded.

Julienne gave a cheerful smile and closed the door totally this time. "Sometimes, this is big," she explained, smiling, indicating the door she had just closed.

"Of course," Lisa said, returning her smile.

I felt a little slighted, but tried not to let it show. They seemed big enough to me.

Julienne moved to the next door, speaking.

"Don't worry - we have a lot of penises," she said with a little smile, looking at each of us, and nodding to emphasize the point. I was struck by her use of 'penis,' instead of 'dildo,' but attributed it to the language barrier.

"We'll find whatever you want, I promise. A lot bigger, or just a little?"

"Um," Lisa faltered, and then cleared her throat.

Julienne nodded.

"Okay, a lot, yes?"

Lisa nodded.

Julienne's smile widened, and we walked past the next cabinet without opening it. Julienne opened the following door, and watched for Lisa's reaction to its contents. I tried to mentally shake off a sudden, acute sense of inadequacy before this obscene display of mammoth cocks. I scanned them with dread. Which one would Lisa choose? Which was most like the one that had fucked my wife dozens of times?

Julienne's eyes were on Lisa as she scanned the shelves. Finally, Lisa's eyes went to Julienne. Her look was inscrutable. To me, at least. Julienne, on the other hand, closed the door and moved to the next one.

My heart sank.

"Jesus Christ," I couldn't help myself from muttering as Julienne opened the next door with a flourish.

Julienne laughed and slapped my arm. "Yes, some men have the very large penis," she said smiling. "But maybe they have not the charm or the brains, no? It all evens out," she said amicably, winking at me.

These dildos seemed exaggerated, unreal, despite the very human appearance of their shapes and features. We were here for a real one, of actual size. I looked at Lisa as she scanned the shelves, and it filled me with dread that she was now inspecting them with a hope of finding the right one. The one that was like his.

"Hmm," she said simply, approvingly.

Julienne clapped three times or so with happiness, then held her clasped hands against her chest and trotted to Lisa's side.

"Okay! Now we see which of these gentleman goes home with a new girlfriend. You have some preference in shape or features?"

"It's not so much a preference as..." Lisa began.

"Oh, oui, oui!" Julienne interrupted. "Yes! I understand. I was indiscreet. désolé - I am sorry."

Julienne glanced at me and squeezed my upper arm in apology. "Sorry," she said again.

"The designs are very creative," I said, trying to sound cavalier and change the subject, scanning the variety.

"Designs? No, no. These are reproductions."

I looked at her blankly.

"We make the cast of the penis. On the man."

"These are...." I trailed off.

"Yeah, yeah," Julienne insisted. "Real. From the men."

My inadequacy was rekindled surveying the huge cocks, knowing now that there were men actually walking around with these things between their legs.

"I..." Julienne stopped and shrugged, tucking her hair behind her. She cocked her head slightly.

"I sometimes... I make some," she said, with a smile that seemed both bashful and proud. "I studied art in France. I don't just carry the clipboard."

"Really?" Lisa asked, impressed.

Julienne nodded, beaming.

"Who are they?" Lisa asked.

"Some are clients, some are volunteers."

"Why so many?" Lisa asked.

"Well, there is the therapy - the couples with the trouble often do well to bring the... well, they are sometimes called the toys, but... you know, I don't like that because for me it is art... but the couples, it often brings new happiness. And, the more choice, the better, because our fantasies and our desires, you know, they are all so different in some ways. Or when a woman has... you know, the longing for the particular penis. Or her man has the desire to... to see her with the penis that causes the longing. Sometimes details are so... important. For the best eroticism."

Lisa nodded.

"And also, you know, these doctors, like Dr. Brunder, it is good to publish studies. They are scientists. For each penis, there is the... the... what's the word, like a survey? That the man fills out. They study the correlation between the penis and so many of the other life things. The income, the occupation, the happiness, the... the relationship things with the partners, the number of partners, the divorce, why the divorce, or the continuing of the marriage, and what happens in the marriage, the... the infidelity, the life expantance, the suicide, the how many of children... all kinds. The scientists, you know, they study everything."

"Who are they?" asked Lisa. "The men."

"Many are the clients, we have the retreat that some clients have the privilege to go to, in Lake Epsilon. You, I think, will go, someday - it's sometimes part of the therapy. I think you will. I shouldn't say. Don't tell Dr. Brunder, that I say it, but you seem like the kind of couple will go. It's sooo nice. It's beautiful and a wonderful experience. Not just for clients - other people go just to visit there just because is so... is really good. And those people, too, who are not the clients, they also model the penis."

Lisa and I stared at her.

Julienne smiled and nodded.

"I know, it must seem to you so weird, but it's art! I mean, for Dr. Brunder, it is for the science and also they are sold, anonymously of course, but it subsidizes the work of Dr. Brunder to help her treat couples who have not all the money, and, well, here we are, she also uses them for the therapy, but... well," she shrugged slightly, bashful again, "Like, I say, I like to think of it as the art, too. It makes me really happy to make the penis. Is part of the body, the beauty of the body, yes? All of the penises, they are beautiful. All of them. People have been making the penis since the earliest art. For tens of thousands of years people have been making the penis. I will make John's!" she said happily, putting her hand on my arm and smiling at me.

I raised my eyebrows. I had no response. I looked at Lisa, who was smiling.

Julienne nodded.

"Well, we haven't heard about any retreat, so I don't know...." Lisa said.

Julienne put her hand on Lisa's arm.

"You will, I promise," she said. "Again, don't say to Dr. Brunder, that I said so. But you are both... You are the couple that goes," she said happily, looking at each of us in turn.

"But, okay, we are shopping!" Julienne exclaimed, returning her attention to the shelves of obscenely large cocks.

Lisa did the same, and soon removed a huge dildo and examined it, turning the enormous obscenity in her hands.

"This is similar?" Julienne asked.

"He's got... I'm looking a little bit more of, like, an upward curve, you know?" Lisa said thoughtfully, now scanning the shelves again.

"Yes," Julienne said quietly, scanning the shelves with her. "Yes, yes, the curvy penis."

"Just a little bit," Lisa qualified. "And symmetrical, not crooked."

"Okay," Julienne said thoughtfully. "Ah, like this?"

She removed one and exchanged it with Lisa for the previous one.

Lisa examined this one briefly. "Yeah, the shaft is pretty close, but the nob is a little too round. Too blunt."

Lisa had one hand on the monstrous shaft of it and was absently stroking the big bulbous nob as she scanned the shelves again.

"It's like, more tapered, you know? Not like, smaller, but it gets more slender at the tip and flares out a little more at the ridge. The ridge of the nob is really big."

"Okay," Julienne replied thoughtfully. She was slapping the first dildo that Lisa rejected against her palm absently as she scanned the shelves.

"I know just what you mean," Julienne said. "We have some like that..... Like the nob on this one?" She pointed at a dildo on the middle shelf.

"Yes, quite like that but the shaft is wrong - that one's kind of crooked, and too skinny."

"Yes, the shaft is different, but the nob is like that, yes?"

"Similar, yes."

"Yes," Julienne echoed. "Those are very sexy," she said quietly, studying the shelves. "I like those. Oh! This?"

She reached in and retrieved another dildo, and brandished it before Lisa.

"Oh, yeah, that's much closer," Lisa said, taking it and giving Julienne the one she had been holding.

Julienne beamed. She turned to me with a big smile as if to share our communal happiness, but turned away after seeing my expression. She looked down at the dildos in her hands and put them back in the shelf.

She turned to me with a more sympathetic expression and stroked my upper arm conciliatorily.

"What do you think?" she asked Lisa, turning back to her.

"It's really close."

"The color is okay?"

"Well, it's darker than.... But it doesn't matter. I don't care about that at all."

"We can remake the same one in different color if you want."

Lisa was holding it straight up with the base in her left hand, stroking it gently and thoughtfully with her right.

"Maybe sometimes you touch it from this angle?" Julienne took and held it down low, pointing towards Lisa, as though she had an enormous cock sprouting from her belly. Lisa reached down and stroked it underhand.

Julienne giggled.

"It looks like your wife is giving me much pleasure, John," she proclaimed happily, laughing. Somehow I managed a smile for her.

"I joke about the penis too much," she said quietly, passing the dildo back to Lisa. Lisa gave her a smile.

"Dicks are funny," agreed Lisa.

Julienne grabbed my arm again as she laughed, and then turned her attention back to Lisa.

"Okay," she said, forcing herself to regain her seriousness. "This is close, but is not the dick our girl wants. What are we needing?"

"Well, I'm being fussy, but, do you have one like this that is just a tiny bit more... veiny?"

"Ah! With the veins!"

"Just a little. I mean, this is great, I mean, yeah, but I want to check, with all this selection, how close we can get."

"Oui, je comprend!" Julienne said quietly, but urgently, forgetting to translate her thoughts, scanning the shelves fervently. "Oui! This!"

Julienne grabbed another dildo from a higher shelf and raised it up triumphantly.

"Oh..." Lisa said.

Julienne passed it to her. "Oui? Yes? This?"

"Oh my god," Lisa marvelled, turning it in her hands. She gave it a couple of thoughtful, gentle strokes. "This is... yeah."

"Yeah? This is our boy?" Julienne asked hopefully. "You can take a few home and decide."

"No, this is..." Lisa sighed. "This is the one."

"The color is okay? Like his?"

"It's perfect."

Julienne clapped her hands joyfully again and bounced a little.

Lisa was still looking at it, idly running her fingers along the obscene length of it. Remembering herself, she raised her eyes to look at me, and then quickly lowered it.

"So what now?" Lisa asked Julienne.

"Ah," Julienne grabbed her clipboard. "I have to take the number...." She put a finger under it and raised the base, where a number was etched into it. She wrote it on her clipboard and flipped the page. "Notes on use..." she read. She lowered her clipboard. "Is very simple - may I?"

Lisa gave her the thing. Julienne popped open the base with a fingernail and loaded a couple batteries she retrieved from the cabinet, and then gave it back to Lisa.

"You turn the dial on the bottom if you want the vibration..." Julienne explained.

Lisa pressed her thumb against the base and rotated it. It began to hum. She turned it more and it got louder, visibly vibrating in her hand.

The two ladies smiled at each other. Lisa turned it off.

"You have used one before?" Julienne asked.

Lisa shook her head.

"I am so excited for you," Julienne said, putting her hand on Lisa's arm. "With the vibrating, it's almost better than the real thing in that way - sorry, John," she smiled at me and touched my arm again. "But, other ways, you know, it's not as good. You can't really make in the same way the passionate thrusting that the ardent lover will do that is so pleasurable. And, also, you know with the.... the psee-cola-JEE?"

"Psychology?" Lisa guessed, interpreting her accent.

"Yes, merci, I should be better at this word in English. You know, with the psychology, we women get pleasure from knowing we are making happy the penis. But of course, this penis cannot feel the happiness like the lover does. But it will give you the happiness, which is what is important!"

Lisa smiled.

"And it will, I think, give John happiness to give you the pleasure with it, yes, John?" she winked at me. I forced a smile and nodded at her. "Okay. Wash with the soapy cloth, and do not submerge. What else? I find it nice if it's a little cool to warm it up with a hot water bottle before using, or just with the steaming hot cloth, and then it is warm like the lover."

Julienne beamed, looking up into Lisa's eyes, and then she gave her a big hug.

____________

"Thanks, John," Lisa said once we were back in the car, stroking my thigh. "I know that was a lot."

The dildo was in a tasteful gift bag on her lap.

"What now? Further instructions from Brunder?"

Lisa shook her head.

I eyed the bag.

"I guess you probably want to go home and see if we can make happy the penis?" I asked.

Lisa gave me a big smile and leaned over to give me a big kiss. "I would love that," she purred, clutching the bag.

______

Lisa stood in her nightie, stroking the thing with a steaming cloth in the bathroom adjoining our bedroom while I watched. She turned and looked at me as she dried it off on a towel.

I followed her to the bed.

"Get naked," she said, taking off her nightie.

I stripped down and lay beside her. She was lying with it resting in her cleavage, eyeing me.

I looked at it.

If this was an accurate approximation of him, she hadn't exaggerated. It was easily twice as long as mine. And, like she said, fucking thick. I wanted to doubt she could fit it in her, but I knew we wouldn't be here if she didn't know she could from long experience. But maybe she was still exaggerating with this thing.

She turned it on to a low vibration and lowered it. She pressed it against her as though a man were lying on her with the center of his huge cock shaft resting on her mound.

"Mmmm," she moaned softly, closing her eyes.

She brought her heels in and tilted her hips to bring more of her pussy upwards. She pressed the thing against herself harder and her labia yielded, accepting the shaft of it into her slit.