Cugina et Cugino Ch. 01

Editor's note: this fictional work contains scenes of fictional incest or fictional incest content.

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Chapter 1: Fork in The Road

"When you come to a fork in the road, take it." That's just one of the many quotes from Yogi Bera that seem moronic when you first hear them but unquestionably obvious. Truism is the correct term for these sorts of jokes. Statements of the obvious but are often uttered with an air of profound wisdom. Another from the gentleman is, "It ain't over till it's over." That's one that I adopted as an important personal motto. It will remain so until the day comes when it truly will be "permanently" over for me. But I'm getting ahead of myself.

I'm sure most people reading this have little or no familiarity with Yogi Berra, a hall of fame catcher with the New York Yankees from 1946-1963. That's unfortunate because he was arguably one of the best "backstops" of all time. I myself was born several years after he retired as a player. Thus, I never got to see him in action other than in a few baseball documentaries. However, I do remember him when he was a manager, a coach, a product spokesperson, and a guest on various talk shows into the 1980's. But what do Yogi Berra's crazy quotes have to do with my story? Well, I guess it's nearly two years since I indeed learned that "it's not over till it's over". Sometimes you must trust your gut when you choose a direction at that "fork in the road". If you're lucky, it will be the right one. It was for me.

A little over three years ago, I thought my life, at least as I had been living it, was over. My wife of nearly 30 years died well before her time as a result of an insidious and aggressive disease. But then almost two years ago, I was presented with a fork in the road that indeed showed me that, "it ain't over till it's over."

I was born and raised in the city where I write this. I enjoyed my youth and my career here. My name is Dino. At first. I hated having such an ethnic name, but eventually I learned to love it, especially after people began telling me that I indeed looked a lot like Dean Martin.

"It's the eyes," they'd say, "The sleepy bedroom eyes or maybe the nose and the dark wavy hair."

"It's all that and the shit-eating devil may care grin," some would say. "You have that grin that says you have some very naughty thoughts in your head. It's the grin of sin."

Yep, I started loving my name especially as I realized the advantage it gave me with some of the young ladies I met. It was great that some thought it was fine to allow someone that looked like my namesake to pull off their panties and climb between their spread legs.

I am indeed a pure-blooded Italian going back at least five generations on both sides of the family. Not surprisingly, I have the stereotypical large family that includes a bunch of aunts and uncles and a boatload of cousins. Growing up, one cousin, Maria, lived only about a block away from me. She lived one street away, but the back of her house almost faced the back of mine across an alley. Since she was only about a year younger than me, we saw each other a lot and shared many neighborhood friends. We had a very close but innocent friendship for many years. We used to hang around a lot together and share things that we wouldn't dare tell others. Back then, it was all truly innocent. She was beautiful and sexy but it was strictly hands off between us. However, about a year ago that changed.

When Maria was in her mid-20's, she married a guy she met in college, moved to Connecticut, became a teacher, and had a couple of kids. Her family all stayed here in town. For a long time, Maria and I only saw each other at family events. I also married after college and remained in the area. Maria's parents and mine still lived in the same neighborhood where we grew up. As with many close Italian families, Maria was back in town for holidays, almost every wedding and funeral, most christenings, and other family milestones. As a result, she and I remained in contact over the years. I admit that had especially close feelings for her over all those years. It's one of the reasons that I felt a painful bolt of sadness when her husband died suddenly less than a year after my wife. It seemed that fate delt us both a super sad blow.

OK, before you start seeing all this talk about death as a downer, you have to remember that it's unfortunately a part of life, and we all have to deal with it. On the other side of the coin, it eventually led to that "fork in the road that" and turned out better than I could have ever dreamed. It showed me that as a middle-aged guy, life "ain't over till it's over".

For a couple of years after her husband's death, Maria continued to live and teach in Connecticut. About 18 months ago, she was eligible for early retirement and took the opportunity. She and her husband Jeff had done very well financially, and since their kids were grown and gone, Maria moved back here. Maria's widowed mom, my Aunt Costanza (or Connie as we called her), was getting up in years, so Maria decided to help take care of her. She felt that her brother wasn't up to the job. As it turned out, Maria bought a condo located only several miles from where I live. We often ran into each other at the supermarket or at the mall. One afternoon when we happened to meet, I spontaneously suggested that we have a "late lunch/early dinner" at this small ma-and-pa Italian place in the area. Frankly, I was a little surprised that she accepted so eagerly, seemingly delighted at the idea.

As we ate and shared a bottle of Sangiovese, we talked about the "old days", the old neighborhood, old friends, plus a lot of things about our lives over the years that we never discussed before. The wine certainly loosened our tongues and fueled a discussion that delved into the sorts of personal things we never previously explored. At first, we talked about our shared losses and how we had been coping. As the wine worked further to lower our inhibitions, it got downright intimate.

"Losing your partner is a terrible blow and hits you with a lot of changes," I said. "Unfortunately, I know you understand that all too well."

"No doubt about it," Maria agreed. "Initially there are the financial issues. Then there's dealing with friends and family that mean well but can soon become overly solicitous and intrusive. You just want to tell them to back off and let you work it out yourself. You feel like part of your mind and body has been stolen from you, but eventually you start to feel whole again. You move on with your career, your life, and start to feel like you aren't constantly treading water."

"I know what you mean," I countered. "I went through a period of depression where I thought my life was over. Then things slowly started getting better. However, I found it harder to put up with my job. My company had been bought out by a larger conglomerate. They were messing with the retirement plan that would have forced me into a situation I didn't like. The new company wanted to purge much of the management they felt were too locked into the old company philosophy. When the option arose for an early "buy out", I took it. To save my investment, I rolled my accrued company retirement and 401K accounts into personal IRA's, walked out, and never looked back. I didn't even need that money right away and didn't even go job hunting. I had made some very good investments over the years and had enough income from them that I didn't have to put up with the BS of a job I was learning to hate. I'm pretty much retired other than for some volunteer things I do. I haven't regretted it for a minute."

"I understand how you feel," Maria agreed. "I'm in much the same situation. I'm glad I retired as soon as I could and moved back here. I may decide to get another job at some point, but right now I'm just living for me. I'm getting used to the leisure life. However, there are some changes that you don't realize until you do start emerging from the depression of losing a spouse and start into a new life for yourself. Like sex for example. At first you don't care. Gradually, you start feeling the need for it again. At least that's the way it is for me. I really didn't want to get heavily involved with somebody, but found I missed the physical contact. Then again, I always had a relatively high sex drive. How about you? I have always had the vibe that it's something important to you. It was something I sensed even when we were still in the old neighborhood. I saw how girls gravitated to you. Did you and Laura have a good sex life?"

I was a bit surprised that Maria would bring up the topic, but I went with it.

"It was pretty good I suppose," was my answer. "I guess it could have been better."

"Hmm," Maria said narrowing her gaze. "Do I sense that there were some potholes? I suppose there are always some bumps in the road. Jeff and I certainly had them. We had a decent sex life, maybe a score of seven out of ten. Don't get me wrong, it was probably better than a lot of people have, but I couldn't help feeling like something was missing and I needed more. I've never told anyone this, but if there's anyone I've known long enough to feel I can trust, it's you. Besides at this point it doesn't matter since Jeff is gone. I feel safe at this point telling l you that over our 25 years of marriage, I had a couple of extracurricular friends that Jeff never knew about. They helped me through some of the off times. I suppose it maybe even helped me stay in my marriage. If things were off at home, I knew I had an option for a bit of excitement with someone else. Don't get me wrong. I loved Jeff very much. He was a good husband and great father. I never had any thoughts of leaving him just because of some occasional erotic excitement on the other side of town. I could explain more but now isn't the time. Suffice it to say, my sexual adventures have been lacking since Jeff passed away."

I couldn't say that I was shocked by what Maria told me. I've experienced enough of life to know that things like what Maria did aren't particularly rare. It's just that we had never delved into each other's personal life like this. Frankly, I had known other women along life's highway that told me much the same things about their marriages that Maria just did. I had my experiences with them much as Maria's with her "extracurricular friends". I knew what she meant about having the option for some adventure in a motel when things were tough at home.

"How about you?" she asked me. "Be honest with me, Dino. I look at you and see a really hot guy. You always were, and frankly you always had me thinking naughty thoughts over the years, cousin or not. I figure that more than one woman expressed some interest in playing around under the sheets with you. Did you ever have any lady friends that Laura didn't know about?"

I wasn't sure what to say or how much I should reveal. I suppose my long silence made her speak up again.

"Come on Dino," Maria said quietly touching my hand. "We've known each other all our lives; more than 50 years. We've both been through about as tough an emotional roller coaster as anybody can handle. At this point, I need a friend that I can trust and be open with. I'll bet you do too."

A term one of my work associates often liked using was "opening the kimono" to signify holding no secrets. I suppose between the wine and the budding intimacy of this new connection with Maria, I told her, "Yes, there were a few lady friends along the way that helped fill in a few of my own potholes."

"See," she said smiling and putting her hand over mine. "Was that so tough? I think we are more similar than we might have ever thought. So, have you dated anyone since you've been without Laura? How do you handle the sexual needs when they make themselves felt?"

I chuckled. "Seriously Maria, I'm a bit surprised at this discussion. No, I haven't dated for the past couple of years. I somehow don't feel like I want to get emotionally involved again, at least not yet."

"I'm not asking you about emotional involvement, mio caro cugino," Maria teased. "I'm well onboard with that. I'm asking you about trimming your horns when they sprout."

I responded with a chuckle, "I suppose when I sprout horns, just take matters into my own hands as it were. I usually have a date with Rachel Righthand but sometimes I've cheated on her with Linda Lefthand. Occasionally, we've even had a threesome."

Maria tried to stifle her laugh, but it was loud enough to make the other patrons in the restaurant turn and look. I must have appeared a little embarrassed by her laugh because she smiled and said, "Hey, I didn't mean to laugh. I'm no different. I date two friends named 'BOB', Battery Operated Boyfriend. I see them regularly. One is a nice realistic looking unit I appropriately call 'Peter the Great"'. The other is a big black unit the size of a zucchini that I use when I'm especially horny. I call him 'Bubba Bomber'."

Now it was my turn to laugh. I suddenly had visions of my cousin Maria naked with her legs spread wide and a black zucchini-sized vibrator inserted deep in her pussy. Of course, I had no idea what Maria's pussy looked like even though I had often fantasized about it. Usually, I forced the image out of my brain as quickly as possible reminding myself that she was most certainly "mia cugina". The idea was quite inappropriate for a nice Italian Catholic gentleman taught by the good nuns at Holy Sacraments School.

"So" I asked using my best naughty Dean Martin grin, "I admit that Laura and I had a few BOB's that we sometimes used to spice things up a notch. But, at the risk of taking this conversation in an even less appropriate direction, did you ever try a 'real' zucchini?"

Maria laughed out loud again. "Oh, but of course. Zucchinis, cucumbers, carrots. I've been a regular salad bowl now and then. There is a certain special slutty aspect of using the produce section of the market for erotic adventure."

"Carrots?" I remarked. "Aren't they a bit small to be effective?"

"Well sure," Maria said with her own naughty grin. "Small for the main tunnel perhaps but just right for the adjacent tunnel, if you get my drift."

I laughed out loud again not caring that some of the other diners once again turned to look. The thought of her with a zucchini in her cunt and a carrot up her ass was just too much to handle.

We each took a sip of our wine as we maintained eye contact. I must admit, I was now having very inappropriate thoughts about Maria, and my body was responding accordingly. I had always seen Maria as a beautiful, sexy, desirable woman, and this afternoon was no exception. However, we had never ventured into the realm of our secret sexual thoughts and behavior. Hell, I was telling her stuff, and perhaps hearing stuff, that we didn't even share with our former spouses. At least that was the case with me. Laura and I never talked about masturbating with veggies or having extramarital affairs. No, Maria and I were finding out more about each other than virtually nobody else would know.

I became focused on how she carried her middle age extremely well. Most people would have probably guessed that she was at least 10 years younger than she was. It was obvious from her well-toned body that she had taken good care of herself. I too had tried to work out and keep in shape. I was telling myself that neither of us looked like we were retirees, even though we were truly EARLY retirees. After a fairly long silence, she spoke up.

"So, what do you think?" Maria asked breaking the silence.

"About what?" I responded.

"About us," she said. "Ever since I came back from Connecticut and realized that we were practically neighbors, I keep thinking about all the years we've known each other and trusted each other but never took our relationship to a more intimate level. I think maybe it's time to change that. Our history and open attitudes could be perfect for a special sort of relationship. Seriously, we've known each other longer than we knew our respective spouses. Do you remember how we used to sit under that big oak tree and share secrets? Oh hell, they were such innocent secrets back then. Now we're sharing real secrets. Look at what we learned about each other in just the past ten minutes. We've traded more intimate secrets this afternoon than we have in the past 45 years. Frankly, it's really aroused my interest. Truth be known, Dino, I've always had some very inappropriate fantasies about you for quite some time."

I was taken a bit by surprise, but responded somewhat automatically, "Probably not half as inappropriate as the ones I've had about YOU."

"Don't bet on it," she chuckled. "One thing I can tell you is that I am certainly NOT the innocent you knew years ago."

"Nor am I," I responded.

"So," Maria questioned sipping her wine and leaning over the table, "Have you finally figured out what I'm leading up to?"

"I have a pretty good notion," I said. "Or are you hoping that I'm going to be the one that actually comes out and says it?"

"I'm not afraid to say it," Maria admitted. "I think that we are at a point in our lives where we shouldn't be afraid to enjoy being what has commonly become known as 'friends with benefits'. Only in our case it's more like 'cugini con benefici', cousins with benefits. I'm not sure real Italians even have such an expression, but it makes sense to me."

I tried not to act shocked. It was obvious where this was leading, but I couldn't help having reservations.

"Seriously, Maria," I said leaning a bit closer to her so we could keep our voices low. "Maybe it's the wine putting ideas into our heads or making us admit to all the secret fantasies we've had over the years, but it sounds like an absolutely fantastic idea. However, I must admit that there are some things to think about. I'm not some goodie two shoes or religious fanatic, but isn't that sort of thing somehow against the law or at least a sin at some level? Is it perhaps incest? I don't know. Frankly I don't care about the law and sins are not an issue. I've already committed enough sins to go straight to hell already, if indeed there is such a place. However, what would happen if the family found out? Have you thought about that?"

"How would anybody find out?" Maria questioned. "I mean it's NOT something we'd announce to the world. I'm not suggesting that we prance around arm in arm smooching at family gatherings. We both have homes where we could come and go discreetly. Besides, whatever laws there may be or whatever incest thing there may be, it relates more to marriage and having kids. Hell, the Church considers sex between any unmarried people a sin, relatives or not. Do you really care? Besides, marriage with anybody is certainly NOT on the table at this point in my life. Obviously, I'm beyond having kids other than grandkids. This would be a nice, simple, uncomplicated fuck-buddy arrangement between two consenting adults who have a long history, feel comfortable with each other, and really like each other. We can be ordinary friends that split a pizza or go to the movies like any two cousins only we'd also have a special benefit that we're both missing in our lives right now. I'm well beyond going out clubbing or meeting random guys. Lord knows I'm not thinking about remarrying. I don't think I'm wrong in assuming that you're at the same place in your life."

"Before you answer," Maria continued, "it's important that you be completely onboard and understand some things about me so that you aren't put off later on. I've already told you that I'm not the innocent you may remember. Truth is, I can be downright raunchy and even slutty when I get in the mood, and believe me, right now I'm in the mood. I sort of get a similar vibe from you. I don't hold much back physically or verbally, and I can sometimes be a tad kinky. I'd never be that way in public, but in private, I can give you a run for your money. Just telling you this so you understand and don't get shocked."