All Comments on 'Cum for Me Daddy Pt. 01'

Everything was almost believeable, which is rare in incest stories. The only part that seemed out of place was the swimming. How could she reach the age of 18 with a pool at home and not kniw how to swim?

I've seen kenjisato thanked for editing in someone else's submission. They did a piss-poor on those too.

I would love to see what they caught for you to correct, because from what I saw in this, they didn't catch much.

I glanced at the authors notes on your other work. I commend you on seeking out editors. You obviously did the right thing, but the sorethroat one isn't good either.

Other than the professionals I work with now, I've never seen an editor that was worn the money they charged, and that includes the free ones.

Obviously, kenjisato is clueless about what words are needed, how to structure a sentence purposely, what is required to make an actual sentence, or how to use any form of punctuation.

I realize you depended on them too know this, and assist you. That is where you must accept the blame. They dick at what you asked them to do, but ultimately, the responsibility rests with you.

These problems aren't the only issues I have with this submission, but without the basics done correctly, why bother with anything else?

There was enough good there for me to be kind with my comment, and would consider offering to assist, but my own writing is enough to keep me busy.

Clearly this was written about a much younger daughter, then the author mindlessly 'fixed it' by making her of legal age for this site, with the ludicrous dialogue of a little girl and the inability to swim.

Mmmmm......I just came all over my vibrator. I wish I could Fuck my daddy like this!

Looking forward to the next chapter!

Of course Michelle is fucking around....daft husband....stupid daughter

Hope this story does not get spoiled by him fucking his slut PA. Then there is the slut wife

I wanted to finish this, but the verb tense situation is out of control.

I would love to have this with my daughter.

Stories like this, where the reader can see the perspective of multiple characters, should be told in the third person ("he", "she"). First person ("I", "me") should be reserved for stories where the perspective is limited to the character telling the story. The father in this story has no way of knowing what the daughter thinks, or what she sees, hears, or does when the father is not present. So, the story should be limited to what the father thinks, feels, or actually observes, or else the entire story should be told in the third person, from the point of view of a narrator who is outside of the story, not one of the characters.

Stories like this, where the reader can see the perspective of multiple characters, should be told in the third person ("he", "she"). First person ("I", "me") should be reserved for stories where the perspective is limited to the character telling the story. The father in this story has no way of knowing what the daughter thinks, or what she sees, hears, or does when the father is not present. So, the story should be limited to what the father thinks, feels, or actually observes, or else the entire story should be told in the third person, from the point of view of a narrator who is outside of the story, not one of the characters.

Really good story. I love the ending .

Oh the memories.

Well, given that your wife belongs over in the LW category of the website ‘cause she’s most definitely cheating on you, it’s understandable why you’d fall under your daughter’s spell, you dirty ol’ bastard, you. However, society and the law frown upon such activity so it’s off to the slammer with you. Don’t worry. I’m happy to look after Evie for you. Just pass her on over. Her room’s all ready and waiting.

Pretty hot read.

Slow build up to a very taboo climax for Evie.