All Comments on 'Cum, Give Mrs. Eicholtz Her Bath'

Interesting premise.

But sex moves ahead much too fast. And not nearly enough details.

She knows he's got a hard on just from looking at her. She should have asked him how often that happened. What is it about her body that excites him? Does he ever jerk off fantasizing about her? What does he imagine? Does he watch porn? What kind? Do the women he likes look like her?

Four stars.

Really sharp comment, Anonymous. Great ideas for elaborating on what is happpening, and also a longer teasing arousal. Not that it matters, in fiction, but first times often happen fast--way too fast. I know myself that the questions you ask are those that I would wonder about. Thanks!

5 Stars. Just a point, the story started out with an old push lawnmower, then later you said, " I stopped, killed the engine, gazed at her." Minor detail but 'the devil is in the details'.

Great to hear from you Anon. Yes, I often contradict myself in details. Someone is tied hand and foot to an X frame and a few paragraphs later, someone pulls off his pants. Stories can be corrected by resubmitting. If I could just go in and make the correction, I would more often. But it all has to be reviewed.