Curious No Longer

This is the true tales of my journey into bisexuality. It is exactly as I remember it, not exaggerated or glossed up to make it more exciting, this is simply my journey. I enjoyed it, I hope you do too.

I think I have been a little bit bi-curious for years, since primary school even, but without even realizing it until later in life. I remember my usual friends who were into football and rugby and things but I always seemed to have a close friend who didn't really fit in with my other friends, who just hung about in a different group. Looking back they were all quite similar, a bit more boyish, and feminine if that makes sense. I realize now that too that I was attracted to them in some way, but perhaps because I didn't 'fancy' them I didn't realize what it was even though I was certainly attracted to them somehow. I have never what you would call 'fancied' any guy, I don't walk past guys in the street and think they are fit or that I fancy them. The thought of kissing a guy is actually a bit of a turn off, I've always been interested, physically anyway, in below the shoulders and above the knee! Obviously, I always connected mentally with these friends but never really understood they other things I was feeling at the time, this would have been throughout the later years of primary school and secondary school.

Over the years I forgot about those feelings but as timed moved on and with the internet making all porn more accessible I started to realize I enjoyed looking at cocks in hetro porn, subsequently I must have looked at bi and gay porn too and eventually the curiosity got the better of me and I decided to do something about it. I am not at all proud of the fact that I was with a female partner at the time but I am proud of the fact that I took the plunge. There are probably numerous guys out there, amongst my friendship group even, that are curious but have never dreamed or been brave enough to do anything about it, so I walk tall knowing I had the guts to at find out.

I found myself browsing craigslist personals while at work, in the m4m, mm4m, m4mm sections and initially just fantasized about some of the adverts and even messaged a few guys but never went through with anything. Most of them were looking for more than I was prepared for so were never going to go anywhere but I enjoyed the email interaction, picture swapping and fantasy of it all. A lot of the reason why I didn't go through with anything at the time was because I was scared that something bad would happen, like really bad, even getting murdered or something so I was very cautious, with numerous emails and back and forth and if I got any slightest doubt I wouldn't go through with it.

Another part of my nervousness was that I wouldn't know if I would like it or not and didn't want to waste anyone's time by getting there and freaking out! At the same time I had also had an keen interest in photography and like lots of guys, and girls, had taken intimate shots of myself, but I had wanted to make them more than just snaps, I wanted them to be more like erotic art. I had taken a few good shots of myself and was really pleased so had also been browsing a site called Purpleport where photographers and models could meet and arrange shoots. Eventually I twigged that a photoshoot might be a good place to start, a male photographer, and I could find out if I enjoyed being naked in front of another man at least but without the worry of not enjoying another man's touch. Some would say that is a very bold way to start, straight into a photo shoot but to me it felt like I was more in control of the situation.

And so, eventually I stumbled across an advert on Craigslist from a photographer looking for a guy for a solo shoot, I can't remember the exact advert but I'm certain it advertised that it was for a solo masturbation shoot, at his home Brixton I believe. I did my research prior to my shoot and it turned out he was a professional photographer called Adrian Lourie, he did shoots for big national papers and had shot with Adele and other massive names. He also created and edited a monthly men's 'Smut' magazine called 'Meat' which was a gay publication. It wasn't a Porn magazine, like I say it was 'smut' in a pop art sense almost, lots of bright bold underwear and jockstraps from what I remember. Eventually, I was really comfortable with Adrian so we agreed on a date and I set off to London for the start of my bisexual adventure.....

1. First Beginnings

I remember getting off the train and starting the walk to his house, Brixton isn't the nicest area perhaps but I had done my homework on Adrian and where he lived, a bit of Google streetview too so I knew what to expect. I remember showering the night before and being excited at the thought of it and getting hard while I shaved my cock and balls. As I walked I was so nervous and and it as one of those times when you aren't sure if you want to do it but I found myself continuing to walk and follow his directions.

As I walked up to the front door I didn't give myself a chance to back out and knocked straight away, this was it, too late to go back now. Adrian was very friendly and could tell I was nervous so he offered me a cup of tea and we just chatted and he showed me the 'Meat' magazine to show the style of his photography. Some of the images in the magazine were taken where he proposed to take the shots of me, which was in an empty back room with a single full height window with net curtain. He preferred to shoot in natural light.

He talked me through the process and we were going to do some fully clothed casual shots to warm up, and then built to layers coming off, down to my boxers and eventually to fully naked and if all was OK to solo masturbation. Adrian knew I hadn't done anything like this before, not just the shoot but anything with/in front of another guy before either.

The casual shots were just leaning against the wall, arms folded and then hands in pockets, just your standard stock images. I was already enjoying it, despite my nerves and excited to start getting some layers off and see how it felt. I had been naked in front of guys before in rugby changing rooms and always enjoyed looking around, but was always terrified of starting to get hard and a few times, I had to literally have the quickest shower, just in case. I was probably over thinking it! It was almost the thrill of being naked and free with other guys that I enjoyed as much as taking sneaky glances at the other shapes and sizes of cocks in the changing room I would have only been 18 or 19 at the time so relatively sexually naïve too.

I realized though that although I had been naked and free in the changing room I hadn't been truly free. If I had I would have been able to allow myself to get a bit excited and for my cock to swell. Now though, in this shoot with Adrian I was about to be truly free, to be naked in front of another guy, and to free to get hard if I wanted too, with no judging and no rugby 'banter' to worry about. It felt like no time at all and I was down to my boxers. I was still really nervous at this time, and although I was incredibly excited, I wasn't hard. He sat me on a stool and I leaned back against the wall and just pulled the top of my boxers down a little, and held my 'package' through the material for the camera. Eventually I revealed my cock to another man 'deliberately' of the first time. The fact that he was fully clothed felt like it gave me all the power, yet I felt incredibly vulnerable at the same time.

When I was finally fully naked, it felt so incredibly liberating, and exciting, the buzz and adrenalin rush was huge. I was still soft at this time but knowing he was looking at me and I could hear the click click of his camera. I needn't have been nervous about whether I would enjoy the experience or not, deep down I knew 100% I would, I just needed to take the step. As I slowly started to hold myself, my cock and balls, slowly stroking myself I felt myself getting hard, pulling my foreskin back to reveal the engorging head of my cock. That moment will stick with me for life, I was naked, in front of another man, getting hard and touching myself for his camera lens and I was loving every second.

In no time I was fully hard, stroking my cock, masturbating, wanking for him to capture. I was completely naked and doing what is usually only done in private with no one watching, yet here I was and there was another man, watching and photographing my most intimate private moment, sometimes less than a foot away. Initially I stroked myself slowly and he directed me a few times, different positions, sitting, standing, holding my balls tight, my cock was absolutely throbbing!

I remember Adrian having to adjust himself but apart from a brief moment where he was tempted to ask to get involved he was very professional and I felt completely at ease. Sometime I would stope stroking myself and just hold my cock tight so he could get in close and capture the details of the veins and lines.

After about 45 minutes of shooting he asked if I was happy to try and capture me cumming for the camera. I was definitely ready to cum for him. At this point I was lying back leaning against the wall and he was almost over me and between my legs. As I quickened my stroking, it didn't take long to feel my orgasm building. Adrian got right down level with my cock and I could hear the camera rapidly firing off shots as he held the shutter down to capture the moment as I came for him. I still remember the pulsing of my cock as I came, my cum pulsing out of my cock and running down my shaft, over my hand. I recall it felt like I was still oozing cum as he fired off more shots capturing the aftermath. After he was done he went off to get me a towel to clean up. Afterwards as I was dressed it felt odd going through the images on the camera, being fully clothed and casually chatting looking at pictures of myself naked and masturbating on his camera like it was the most normal thing in the world, commenting on some good shots we both spotted. He was going to send me all the edits in a few days. These pictures were never for public viewing it was just a private shoot between the two of us.

My final memory from that day was leaving his house and walking back to the station. I felt a huge sense of pride as I walked, and although people have sex all the time, it felt a bit taboo and exciting to look around at the people I was passing and them having no idea what I had just done. It was also confirmation that I definitely enjoyed being naked with another man and being hard with another man, the thrill of the photoshoot was incredible too. It wasn't too long before I was looking for the next encounter.....

2. Just Making Sure

I tended to browse the adverts on Craigslist looking for a model for an artist or photographer as I had enjoyed my first experience and it left me more in control of the situation. I certainly wasn't ready for anything more at this stage and never even considered adverts for people looking for more.

After some time browsing I found another good ad with potential. An artist/photographer who wanted to take some pictures for an art project. He wasn't English and he wasn't as clear with his email about what he wanted, aside from it would be pretty low key with the focus on creating some images for his art projects. I did my research again and became comfortable enough to meet him, I think I managed to make it work with a work trip to a site into central London. I think I was equally nervous about the shoot and also being caught out by my bosses for being in the city longer than I needed to be so I distinctly remember feeling more pressure for time and only had an hour maximum so it had to all move quite quickly.

We met at his rented flat, it was quite small but tidy and clean. This time there was no warm up as such, just a glass of water and I was straight down to being naked. Again my nerves meant I wasn't hard initially, and with the time constraints and less direction from 'Seb' I wasn't as confident in front of the camera, which was also just a standard 'snap' type camera, which I felt was a bit of a let down as I wanted to help create high quality erotic images. Still, I was learning and was definitely enjoying the experience all the same.

The shoot took place on a very plain bed, white pillows and duvet and that was it. I sat in various poses, leaning back with my arms on my knees, kneeling, cross legged, laying back with one leg up. It was quite casual and because we hadn't specifically discussed anything further I felt much more like an artist model there to help him out than for me. Though I was still getting a thrill from being naked in front of another clothed guy again, regardless of whether I was hard or not.

After a while we did some shots where I was covering my cock and balls and then just cupping them, holding them in my hands. As he was taking these shots, I adjusted my hands a few times and while doing this my grip inadvertently slightly drew my foreskin back, revealing the tip of my sensitive bell end. This felt like a rush of electric through my body. Although I was naked already it wasn't until my foreskin started to draw back that I felt intimately naked, my foreskin felt like the last layer of clothes to come off. I was immediately conscious though that he may not want that for his images, should I be getting slightly hard, has he noticed? Do I need to try and control myself? A few more shots later, I just decided to push it a little and pull my foreskin right back, fully revealing my rapidly engorging helmet. I did it initially to give him some different photos and as he didn't complain or say anything I just carried on slowly touching myself and stroking my cock, not trying to hide that I was now incredibly turned on.

Seb stopped taking as many pictures now and spent more time watching me, he never moved from the end of the bed during the shoot, and seemed content to keep at a distance. I changed position a few times, taking ideas from my previous shoot with Adrian, laying back or sitting up, pulling on my balls. I was getting very close to cumming by now and told him so, with that he said "I think we stop shooting now", put the camera down and moved round to the side of the bed and sat down by my feet. I was leaning back against the wall, my legs bent up but spread apart as I wanked myself closer to orgasm. He didn't actually touch me, just sat there watching closely, then when I said I was about to cum he reached out and started massaging my balls with his hand. I cant actually remember too much about it after that, my overriding thought at the time was that I was being touched by another man. I didn't not like it but I can't remember loving it either, just that he was touching me. I do remember that there was a lot to clean up so I must have enjoyed it more than I realized at the time!

Time was still short so there was no reviewing images this time, just clothes on, a few quick good byes and that was it. Done. It felt even more surreal, it was just part of my normal working day, I as back to work within another hour. I found it harder to process, it wasn't quite what I had hoped for as it was quite rushed and his camera didn't inspire me that the images would be any good, but at the same time, I still loved being naked and exposed, and I knew I wanted more, the next step was to find out if I enjoyed being properly touched by another man......

3. This is More Like It

I was incredibly nervous about this one. Again, it was while I was on a work visit into London, around the Kentish Town area and I had seen a advert from a guy offering no strings Lingam massages. A Lingam massage is not about a quick hand job to get you off as quickly as possible but a slow, sensual and tantric style massage of the penis, balls and perineum using a variety of techniques, from just fingertips to fingers, palms, whole hands and often two hands together combining techniques. The aim to slowly build and create waves of pleasure, rising and falling with potentially multiple orgasms.

For my first introduction to being touched by another man sounded like the perfect opportunity. I remember getting my visit over with quickly and I was so nervous, I nearly didn't go in at all. I must have said I was nervous in a message to him as he invited me in first for a cup or tea and to see if I wanted to go through with it. It was odd going in and coming out of his house again with nothing happened. In a way it settled my nervousness and fear of getting murdered at least, but in another way it made it even worse going back. I had been in his house already, all I had to to was get on with it but because I left when I went back to knock on the door a second time my excitement and nerves were at an all time high. This was it, I was going to be naked with another man, who was going to be fully clothed and he was going to slowly stimulate me to orgasm.

He left the room while I got undressed and when he came back in he instructed me to lay on the bed. As I say I was very nervous but excited. He used some warm oils and as soon as he touched me I felt close to exploding there and then! He had clearly done this before, in fact he had said when we had had tea earlier that it was almost a kind of hobby for him, he enjoyed making guys cum, and considered himself a bit of a master of the Lingam massage. Too which I can confirm he was! He used lots of techniques, often long, slow but firm strokes. Sometimes gripping tightly with just his thumb and forefinger wrapped around, starting at the head of my cock, gripping tightly and pulling down so my bellend 'popped' through his thumb and finger before continuing right down to the base.

Other times he would use both hands, and overlaps them repeatedly so my cock was never without a hand on it, I was throbbing and more than once I had to warn him I was close to cumming. He seemed a bit disappointed but it was more a compliment to his cock handling skills and talent than anything. This went on for 40 minutes or so, all the time I was just laying back, watching and enjoying the sensations he was creating. He would leave my cock alone and just spend 5 minutes massaging my balls and perinium, with the warm oils it felt incredible and I didn't want it to end, but with his hands working my cock and balls it was always just a matter of time before I couldn't hold back any longer.

When I was ready to cum he got up and we changed position, he sat up in front of me now, and told me that he was going to use his hands and arm to effectively create a flesh light. I was now on my knees facing him sitting back, he placed he hands and arms in such away to create an opening and his told me he would keep his hands like that and I was to fuck them until I couldn't hold back and to cum over him, I was too turned on and excited to hold back any longer so slid my cock into his hands and started to thrust into them, the oils making it slide easily into his hands and it wasn't long before I came hard into his lap and over his t-shirt. I remember looking down and watching a huge amounts of cum flood out of my cock over his clothes, he even commented afterwards that it was a lot of cum!

After I was cleaned up I left pretty quickly afterwards, but was still nervous as I walked back through Kentish Town to the station. I wish I hadn't been so nervous, but as it was my first time being touched by another man like that I probably didn't relax and enjoy it as much as I could have. I could have soaked up the experience a bit more and gone with the flow. I have no doubt that he could have had me cumming over and over if he wanted too!

After this though there was only one more stage to see how Bi I really was. I think I knew the answer to this already but now I needed to feel another guys hard throbbing cock for myself....