by RLmann
The liberal socialistic laws could force, probably has, a sane man to
get a semblance of justice .
5 stars for the dream effort.
don't give a crap if it really should be 3 stars.
FIVE*****stars
We will root for the murderer to escape the country and hope that his daughter will escape a violent reaction to the loss of her mother. It almost sounds like a reality show.
... with the castration if he's just going to kill them? Just my opinion, but this isn't a complete story at all. I'll hold off on voting till I see if the author does a follow up. If not...well...
Amusing on how this is some sort of ''liberal socialist...'' agenda...more likely the result from the hypocritical ''moral majority'' family based laws that came from the disaster of ''St'' Ronnie of Reagan's long slow poisonous murder of the middle class that started with his two terms that still continues today.
A little extreme, but understandable.
A few more paragraphs would have ended this perfectly. Still worth Five Stars.
He was very sloppy with everything. I'm guessing he plans on being on the run with his daughter. He will be the number one suspect. He was just as selfish as the wife.
Do you have any idea how large the canister would have to be to contain enough ether to render them unconscious in a standard sized bedroom? He put on the gas mask and night vision goggles after entering the house and pumping the ether? Was his car parked at the airport for 6 months? How old was the daughter of a twenty year marriage if he carried her to the car? Does the daughter have a passport (assuming they are leaving the country)? Were the tickets in their own names and how did he pay for them? if not in their own names, do they have new ID's? The money transfer trail? Meeting the attorney in a diner? and so many more.
I will say however, after neutering her lover, it really was a BTB story.
As you are a first time writer, maybe, I was not going to comment but when I saw the conservative and the jihadist comments I have to say there must be more to this story than I saw. You posted to the right category but with those comments if you write again post to Loving Wives, I would enjoy seeing what comments you get there.. 3*s
Actually, I did submit this under Loving Wives, but the admins placed it here. What's odd to me is that so many stories with a similar plot end up in LW on a daily basis.
"Where are we going, Daddy?" Jamie suddenly asked, startling me a bit.
"We are going on vacation," I answered with a smile. "A permanent vacation, honey. Just you and me."
"But I have to say good-bye to Aunt Shari and Rick before we go."
"Who's Rick?"
"Aunt Shari's new boyfriend. They're taking care of me until Mommy and Grandma come back from the funeral."
I'll answer that question. It was a matter of principle. With any luck they woke up before the house burned.
And author, I guess us BTB people are easy to please. Just don't mock as you do it.
However, the ending was too rushed, and not enough information given. 3*
Just a question: Why the need of a scalpel, if in the end he set the house on fire? If the intention was to make them suffer, he should have used the scalpel and let them live...3*
I think this piece of shit story was written as sarcasm. Give me a break. Worst btb story I've read so far. Go back to writing things you understand, swinging or cuckolding are more your speed. How about a story where you tell us how much you enjoy eating cum out of your wife after the neighbors got through fucking her. 1*
I enjoyed it, I would have enjoyed it more if the guy woke with something missing. He should have packed up and come home a few days later. Then watch the guy change into a woman. Why bother doing the procedure if you're gonna torch the place anyway?
In the real world he would eventually get caught. He should have done more planning
If it was his house why did he have to break in? The guy would of had a door key
Divorce is totally stacked against dads in this country? He did what he thought he had to do. He got his daughter and the two cheaters got what they deserved...more or less.
It is sad when the wife ends up cheating when the guy is in harms way. It takes a strong wife to hang on until the guy comes home. She should not get squat for cheating while he was in harms way.
The story was so loaded with "just so happen" items as to be ho hum....
Happened to be trained in stuff (while a contractor...?)...
Happened to have a top-notch lawyer friend...
Happened to have previously stolen ether (who in their right mind would just HAPPEN to do that?)
Happened to know how to castrate (and if you're going to torch the guy, why would you need to be qualified at it...?)
While I agree with the sentiment of the story, wife cheating on hubby while he's off fighting a war, I just didn't like it. Too short, way too short to be a "story". And way too cliche'd. Too much obvious happenstance to make it a believable story.
All is revealed in the comments section of RLmann's other story, 'Honey, we have to talk'.
Things may not be as they seem.
Lue
I felt the author threw two kitchen sinks into this story. Castration then murder leaves no time for effect to the lover. The author should've rode one horse in this tale but I still have it a 5*.
As luedon recently acknowledged this is swingerjoe poking fun at BTB stories, that's why he castrates a guy who's going to die anyway, and after being married 20 years has a little girl small enough to be carried out to his car, a Mustang, of course.
Pay no attention to that man behind the curtain.
Ended too soon! What happened afterward??? What was the fallout??? Why cut off the guys cock if he was going to torch them anyway???
I watched a relative who served four tour in Iraq and Afghanistan, come home to a lowlife cheating wife. And the courts, in their infinite wisdom, awarded full custody of their son to her. She moved her unemployed drug addict lover in with her and her son. Soon she was pregnant and gave birth to another son. Before the second son was born, his biological father was gone like a vapor trail. I have zero respect for women who cheat on husbands serving in our military.
But they usually have satisfying endings. This wasn't one of them. Not by a long shot
burn the house down while they are under anesthesia and cant feel it?
I had a few problems with it, why would he jimmie the lock to his own house? Surely he has a key? Secondly he put night vision goggles on after her drugged them, couldn't he have just turned the light on? Then he used the knife on them then burned the house, making the knife using irrelevant anyway, then he took the daughter which would cause a manhunt for her nationwide, making getting out of the country with her quite difficult, not much thought gone into it really.
who waits 16 years to have a child?
why cut off balls under anethisia?
why cut off balls if you are going to set them on fire?
why set them on fire under anethisia?
since when is a contractor working oil rigs a solider?
I was first disallusioned when he 'peaked into a window.'. You just don't make those errors when writing. Then our man castrates a guy with night goggles on and the guy is out because of ether gas then he burns the place down. Uh, pardon me, where did I get lost here.
Why did he need to jimmy the lock on his own house? Why bother to neuter him if you were going to burn the house down? Not much thought went into the writing of this story....Good plot but bad telling of the story!
It's often a good idea to check the earlier comments when commenting on a story.
The amazing ReaL Mann is no more. Even his creator has departed these pages and has not been heard from for a year or more.
Vale SwingerJoe. You provided a lot of entertainment while you were an active contributor.
Lue
So nice that he thinks to avoid all pain for cheaters.
Keeping him under while castrating and then toasting them so they don't have to live with any remorse for cheating
oh well, that's the risk you take when you are a cheating piece of shit. Short, sweet and to the point. As for loverboy..... cheating with someone married to a person that kills people for a living is really stupid.
Well, the laws of most states are so fucked up that they really encourage this type of separation. To be lied to, cheated on, disrespected and then be told the law favors the cunt. Well, it is what it is.
I hate stories like this...I also hate cheaters...no matter who...burning up alive...makes this guy as bad or even worse than his wife...this story is Gross............
They were deeply asleep and so wouldn't have suffered, that's a shame. This couple have been married for 20 years, how old is the kid?
Very poor story… not worth a one! You don’t bring urself down to that level … never! And u definately are not the father anymore to bring up ur daughter!! Rot gut shit
I gave it a 5. But it needed to be longer. And I didn’t really understand the comment about castration. If he did that to the man she was with, he woulda bled out quickly. Also, I doubt he would have stayed knocked out. So attempted murder and kidnapping across state lines, would have gotten the FBI involved. He would have been picked up, before he left the country. Better to have not touched the boyfriend, but to inject them both with something, to knock them out for 12 hours. At that point it’s a kidnapping, and it would not point to him, in the beginning. More time to get away, and cover his tracks.
Married 20 years and only have a child that still needs a child seat in the car? So unfinished its not funny. Why do so many on this site think its cute and clever to not FTDS!!!
Loved it. Should have been longer to fill in some obvious holes. To the whiners in the comments section, this is obviously fiction. Black Ops guy, comes home at the perfect time. 20yr marriage and the child needs a car seat, etc. FICTION. But, whine about castration. (Didn't notice the house burning?) Don't cry! Nothing really happened.
Yeah, sure, he just stole a can of ether years ago for no reason, luckily for him! Super cheesy story, 2.5 stars.
To all the commenters saying that this is a kidnapping: NO, IT’S NOT!!! He is her father, and has the absolute right to take her anywhere. Now, if this was post divorce, and he violated a court ruling on custody, then he would be in trouble.
ZK
Too bad there was no proper ending but figures its what most authors on here do so the reader can come to their own conclusion. Overall not bad but I'm going to assume they married right out of high school and had the kid really late in life which threw me off a bit.
I'm not sure what took place with the cheaters. Did he neuter the guy? Burn down the house? Both? If you are going to cook the happy couple, why bother removing his balls? This story could use a bit more clarity, and maybe a showdown as well.
1 star - On this website, murder is never a viable option, and it demonstrates the weak mind of the writer.
Just another technique story. Lots of details about how, what, who, where, and when, but absolutely nothing about why. 20 years of loyal loving faithful wife and suddenly she's a cheating whore? And his daughter won't know that her mother is gone from her life? Maybe the asshole is the daughter's real father, who she knows loves and adores? So he was really really clever, so what? Maybe in a sequel you can make this story about love and feelings and emotion and motives and guilt or innocence . . ., you know, human being stuff. Great technical details though. Well, except for what he set fire to, and where the fuck he thought he was going to take his daughter.
Nah, sorry. Revenge is better known then left to imagination. And this was a bit obtuse and too short.