All Comments on 'CvsN 11: A New Addition'

I am definatly looking for the next chapter.

if my wife sees this story im screwed its how i would mess it up given the chance ,so when it comes out good im good thanks steve

please get the names straight

This detracts from a otherwise really great story... get the names right...

As for Joe, I think it would be great if he could be with you, but not if it messed up things with Karen. Whatever relationship they have is just barely starting, and I wouldn't want to see that messed up." I told her.

"She's such a dork. She screws up all her relationships anyway." Robin said petulantly.

"I don't suppose you've helped her screw those up in the past, have you?" I asked, betting I knew the answer to that one.

"Nothing she wouldn't have fucked up on her own." She insisted.

"Listen, if you want to be with Joe,

Massaging lovers' egos has just as much import as massaging their body parts.

Hey, your story continues to be really great! I like how the extraordinary sex just happens while keeping the guy normal / realistic. I especially loved the sleepy sex this chapter! What I wouldn't give for that kind of slumber send-off. ;-)

Minor typos in this chapter - a couple references to Joe when you meant Jim when talking to Robin near the end. Great quality overall in this story, though, thanks!

Good story but make sure to keep your names straight. I.e. Jim is Karen's love not Joe

It's rare to find stories where alpha males have some clue about when not to think with the little brain.

Great job..... Looking forward to more.

Jim and Joe have names mismatch for a couple of paragraphs. Easy to catch by context - discussion on Joe with Robin ends, then continues on another 'Joe' -, but still hurts a little

I could do a better job, at least I would get the names correct

Keep story straight and proof read. Great series

Still going strong.

Good job, thanks for sharing your work!

Seems the name thing has been beaten to death. That being said it is the thing that you have in your stories that is hardest to get around. In one chapter you called Karen, Nancy. That took me a minute to figure out. Mixing up the names is something that pulls the reader out of the story because we know it's wrong. Context will correct most wrong words but names that is something that shows the amateur vs the polished authors here. You should be seen as more polished IMHO. Your overall story arcs are well done as well as your character development being very well done with few 2 dimensional characters.

I hope you understand that I am only saying this as constructive criticism and not trying to pile on. I think you are a good author and I enjoy the fantasy worlds you create.