CWB 4 - Home for the Holidays

Likewise, Stacy hooking up with Carrie - we'd been 'broken up' at the time, and just as I was enjoying myself with Victoria, she'd enjoyed herself with Carrie. It didn't matter that Carrie was one fine-ass sexy woman rather than a man, she was having sex with someone else - having a relationship with someone else. And Carrie was a gorgeous, sexy, woman; I'd enjoyed playing with her, and watching Stacy play with her, but she was second fiddle, in my mind, to Stacy. She'd shared herself with Stacy and me, we'd shared ourselves with her, but there was no way I was falling for someone else when the one that I'd already fallen for was with me.

But did she feel the same? This seemed so random. "Why would you want me to fall for Carrie?" The answer didn't come immediately, at least a minute of silence occurred before she spoke.

"Because we're cousins? Because we can't keep up this relationship forever?"

"Oh."

I thought I recognized where she was going, although our half-a-year long "relationship" had started as cousins, became sexual with benefits, and then we'd become complete lovers; now she was saying that she didn't want me that way. She was saying that she wanted to find a lover, a boyfriend, a husband, and that it wasn't going to be me. She was trying to ease me out of being with her; hoping that perhaps, since Carrie also had fabulous tits and I'd hooked up with Victoria who had big tits, that I might fall for Carrie too. I didn't know what to say. My Cousin, With Benefits, was trying to ease us out of our relationship.

I was silent, lost in my thoughts for quite a while - perhaps half an hour, as I mulled through the thoughts in my head. I hadn't even thought about Stacy moving on again. After she'd come back from the summer, she'd moved into my bed and taken the role of my complete girlfriend, living with me, as a lover and partner. I know we hadn't made any formal 'commitment' to each other, but certainly no girlfriend I'd ever had had been as compatible as Stacy. Our taste in food, decorating, sex, sleeping - virtually everything meshed perfectly. I'd tried to cuddle with Victoria, she'd pushed me away. When I cuddled with Stacy, she pulled me in. When I'd tried to love on Victoria, to get her off, she wasn't interested and pushed me away. When I fucked Stacy or fingered her just before she went to sleep, it put her to sleep and I would fall asleep with my lover in my arms, often with my cock still inside her. Although both relationships had originally been based on sex, that was all there had ever been with Vickie - sex

"You were hoping I'd fall for Carrie?" I finally asked, now just a few minutes before home. I thought back to the three of us in bed, realizing that even with Carrie beside me, I'd cuddled with Stacy and hadn't really been interested in cuddling with Carrie. If it had been just the two of us, sure, I always tried to take care of my lovers, but Stacy was my lover - Carrie had just been mutual entertainment.

"Maybe. I wouldn't mind if you did." Shit. I wouldn't mind if you did she said, that seemed to confirm it; she was trying to ease us out of our relationship.

I don't think until that time I had confirmed internally how much to me that Stacy meant. She had so easily, so subtly, so totally moved into my heart, I didn't even realize how much I'd fallen in love with her, and now... she wanted to end it. She wanted me to fall for someone else and give her an easy out. The lump in my throat made it impossible to speak.

The remaining drive disappeared behind us, I don't think I said another word, totally mixed up as I was, I didn't even know what to say.

I found myself pulling into the parking lot and stopped, turning off the truck. I didn't look at Stacy, just stared ahead through the windscreen.

"OK." I said, nodding my head. "If that's what you want, I can give it a go with Carrie, at least if she wants. She was nice, we had a fun time."

"Ok." Stacy said, sliding over to the passenger door without another word, jerked it open and grabbed her bag, not even waiting for me, and started walking toward the stairs. I grabbed my own bag, jogged over to her, and stuck my hand down to her arm. At first, she didn't return my grip, but eventually took my hand, at least until we got to the stairs. I followed her up the stairs, and into an icy bedroom.

It wasn't just the bedroom that was icy, it was every room. We were there, we made dinner together. We got ready for bed, showering separately for once, Stacy first, and when I got to bed, Stacy was on her side facing away and whether it was pretend or real, seemed to be asleep. For the first time since Stacy had moved into my bed and admitted she always, at the very least, masturbated to end the day, I didn't fuck her or finger her to an orgasm. It had been a long day, I reasoned, explaining the lack of affection away, trying to ignore that Stacy seemed to be setting us up to go our separate ways.

I don't know how long I lay there, my mind flipping, trying to come up with some explanation of what went wrong. At the time of our tryst it hadn't felt like Stacy was trying to get me to fall for Carrie, but perhaps I was wrong. Lying on my back with Carrie riding me, her big tits swinging above me, Stacy cuddled to one arm, watching... and reaching up to fondle Carrie's body, tweak her nipples, reaching in to rub her clit just as she came. Later while fucking Stacy, missionary, Carrie leaning in and across to suckle Stacy's nipples, the two of them giggling and enjoying themselves. Carrie had tried to push her head between us to tongue Stacy's clit, but satisfied both of them by just putting a finger on it instead. I'd fucked Stacy while she was licking Carrie, but later when they'd reversed and I reached to get a condom to fuck Carrie at the same time, by the time I found another they'd reversed and ate each other in a 69. I had sensed no inhibitions, nothing saying that Stacy was pushing me away, nor had I sensed that she wanted me to leave her and fall for Carrie.

When I awoke in the morning Stacy was still asleep. Creeping out to the kitchen I started making breakfast. It was perhaps 20 minutes later when suddenly a pair of arms slipped around me from behind. I hadn't heard her get up, or the bedroom door open, but rubbed her arms where they were holding me, until I managed to turn around and pull her face to mine.

It was obviously make-up sex, on the kitchen table, although I still for the life of me didn't understand what had gone wrong that we had needed make-up sex. We'd both cum, I was still in her, her legs wrapped around me, when I reached down and lifted her chin so I was looking at her. "That was nice."

"Thank you," she said, and pulled herself tighter against me, burying her face in my chest. I just held her close for a moment, unsure what she was thanking me for except making sure she'd cum when I suddenly realized that I'd become completely distracted, and I had a meeting in just minutes.

"Oh shit!" I said, pulling out and pulling away. "I've got a meeting..." I leaned back and kissed her again but turned immediately and rushed to my workstation. First day of the week meetings were never video, so it didn't matter that I was still totally naked.

Whatever had upset Stacy coming home on the weekend or had caused me to find her gently crying a couple of times, seemed to have disappeared with the start of the new week. Our make-up sex Monday was just the start; Stacy practically attacked me that evening after dinner, dragging me by hand to my "office", pushing me down into my "office" chair and climbing onto my erection, facing away. She dialed up our favorite porn site, found a video of some girl on girl and we fucked ourselves silly while watching two girls eating each other out.

The rest of the week was virtually the same, at least twice every day, Stacy seemingly insatiable. It seemed like no sooner had we finished than I'd get the gleam in her eye of desire. I fucked her to sleep every night, usually as at least the second time of the day or evening.

"That was really hot last weekend..." Stacy said on Thursday in bed after we'd both cum, and she was cuddling into my arm afterward. "Watching you fuck her, helping you do her..." She didn't have to explain who "her" was.

"Fucking you while you were eating her..."

'Uhhhmmm. Yeah, I liked that."

"I know. I could tell."

"She thanked us."

"Oh?"

"I got a text yesterday, she said she had really needed that."

"Yeah. We all need sex at least once in a while."

"She hadn't had any in a long while."

"You could invite her to come spend a weekend with us some time."

"You could too."

"I could, but I don't have her number." I felt her stiffen, the cuddle post-coital warm becoming not quite so warm. She didn't say anything, but eventually she relaxed again.

"I guess it is kind of hard to fall for someone you can't even talk to."

"I don't need to fall for anyone. I've got you."

"For now." There it was again, that subtle hint that she wasn't as enamored with me as I seemed to be with her.

It was the next morning when my phone buzzed. When I looked it was a contact share from Stacy with Carrie's information. I accepted and texted back to Stacy with a thumb up icon.

Saturday, I had gotten up and left Stacy sleeping in. Sorting through and deleting texts from the week, I saw Carrie's contact info, so I sent her a text, "Stacy shared your contact info, did I get it right?" Within a minute the phone rang, and I saw it was Carrie.

It was all the "Hey, how ya doing? Fine, How are you? I sure had a good time, yeah - me too," type of talking of any first encounter where we both suspected there was more to it than just "hello" but weren't sure where to start. It felt funny talking with Carrie while I knew that Stacy was just behind the closed bedroom door a few feet away, possibly now awake. Putting my earpieces in, I stood and walked to the kitchen, removing some of the possibility of Stacy listening in.

"Hey, I needed to tell you we really had a good time with you," I said, "both of us."

"I did too. OMG, you can't believe how much I needed to get laid."

I laughed. "Yeah, Stacy sure seemed to have a good time with you over the summer."

"I can't believe we never played together in high school."

"Why not?"

"It was all about boys back then. Getting boyfriends, getting laid the first time..."

I laughed. "I think it's the same for guys. It's just that we walk around with our tongues hanging out hoping we don't step on them and maybe get to cop a feel."

Cassie laughed, "Isn't that the truth! I don't think I ever went on a date that the boy didn't try to feel me up."

"Well, you've got to admit, those are some pretty admirable assets."

"What's that, my brains?" She laughed, as did I, before she said, "Thank you, you've got a pretty nice package yourself."

"Say Carrie, what's your situation? You're living at home, taking care of your parents - so how are you dating? Are you seeing anyone?" I knew she wasn't, or at least knew that Stacy had told me she wasn't, but this way I heard it from her.

"I'm not. It's like I told you last weekend, I haven't been with anyone since March, and staying in so I don't take a chance on getting the virus. I have no doubt that as old and frail as my parents are, if I gave them the virus, they wouldn't make it. I've been staying home and being good for them. Until last weekend, I haven't been with anyone except Stacy."

"Are you... Um..." I started to ask, suddenly realizing after I'd opened my mouth that asking a woman, even if I had had sex with her, if she was a lesbian, was probably not the right move.

"What?" She said when I paused kicking myself inwardly and didn't continue.

"I was... uhm," I started again, and then realized it was too late to worry about it. My cousin and I had both had sex with her, so why wouldn't it be acceptable to ask her sexual orientation? "I guess you are... bi?"

"Is that all?" she said, "Of course. I've always liked guys but found out just a year or so ago that I like playing with women too. It's not often that I get the best of both worlds like I did with you guys last week."

"I admit it was a bit of a surprise when she told me she'd played with you all summer."

"That was just two horny girls taking care of each other. She'd have much rather been with you."

"Why do you say that?" I asked, not at all sure that with the hints and guidance that Stacy had been sending my way that she wanted to be free from me, that Carrie was correct. Even as I said it, the muddled thought that Stacy had been trying to ease me out of our relationship contorted itself in my brain. Could it be that she was trying to tell me to fall in love with Carrie because she was in love with Carrie? That if I fell for her, we'd both be in love with her?

"Are you kidding? She's madly in love with you."

I didn't say anything for a moment, her words totally against what I was getting from Stacy. "I don't think so, Carrie." I said a moment later, "If anything I think she's trying to let me down easily."

"Why do you say that?"

"She's been hinting that she wants me to fall for you, for one. She's been talking about when she goes back to school, when the University starts in-person classes again that she'll be moving out and we won't be seeing each other, and maybe I could hook up with you."

"Is that because of that other girl, the one you saw during the summer?"

"Victoria? Yeah, she had big tits, so Stacy thinks that big tits are a priority for me and I'd like yours too."

"You didn't seem to have any problem keeping your hands or mouth on them," she laughed. "Do you like big tits?"

"Do I like your brains?" I laughed, "is that what you're asking?"

"Yeah," she giggled in response, "that too."

"I admit, I like tits, small, medium or large."

"Oh yeah? Who's are better, mine or Stacy's?"

I didn't even have to think, I didn't hesitate, "Stacy's."

"Oh, ouch!" she laughed, "my girls aren't used to playing second fiddle." I didn't say anything, that Carrie was used to her tits being the center of attention I had no doubt about.

"This is a bit strange," I said after a few moments of silence.

"What's that?"

"Calling my girlfriend's girlfriend to see if maybe she'd like to get together sometime."

It was quiet for several seconds. "These are strange times," she finally said. "So, I've got a question."

"Yeah?"

"Are you asking if we want to get together, you and me? Or are you asking you and me and Stace?"

Shit.

"I don't know."

"Why not? It's a pretty simple question, is my girlfriend's boyfriend asking me out, or are you asking me to join the two of you again sometime?"

I just stood there momentarily leaning back against the kitchen counter. When I'd called, I'd been thinking about Stacy, and her pushing me to "fall" for Carrie. We'd had a good time, a Great time actually, but it had been Stacy and me both loving on Carrie. It wasn't 'cheating,' it was 'sharing', and somehow calling Carrie now, as I was, had a 'cheating' feel to it. Otherwise, why had I moved to the kitchen so that Stacy couldn't hear? "I guess, I'm asking if you want to see me again, but all three of us playing was a lot of fun."

"You sure don't seem really sure about this."

"I'm not." I answered before I really thought about it, realizing even as I said it, that it was the truth.

"Then why are you talking to me?"

"I don't know. I've just been getting this push from Stacy to let her go, to let her leave."

"How so?"

"Little things." I proceeded to tell her about everything. Waking up to Stacy crying. Walking in on her crying when she thought I was busy, and then always telling me it was nothing. Stacy talking to me about maybe hooking up with Carrie, setting the three of us up as a threesome. Feeling like she was constantly, gently, telling me to get away.

"Do you know what Stacy talked about all summer long?"

"When you guys got together?"

"Every time."

"No, what?"

"You."

"Me?" I said, surprised. "Why me?" I thought back to the summer, when she'd been gone, and all the time that I'd spent thinking of her. Hooking up with Victoria, getting my world rocked by a sexy woman, and then falling asleep thinking of Stacy. Missing cuddling with Stacy; not just having sex with, but making love with, Stacy. And when Stacy had been getting together with Carrie, she'd been talking about me? When Victoria had split, I'd had no desire to chase after her or try to hook up with anyone else - I'd been perfectly happy to dream of Stace and think of Stace and just wish she was back with me.

"Why do you think?"

"I don't know, I don't get it," I said, shaking my head in bewilderment, even though she couldn't hear the rocks in my head rattle. "That's what I don't understand, it's like she's trying to push me away without telling me why."

"You're a silly man, Rick."

"Why?"

"Because she's in love with you."

"Yeah, I know. I love her too."

"No, you don't know. She's in love with you. "Really" in love with you. As in her one and only, wanting to get married and live happily ever after in love with you. She has been for years."

"How do you know?"

"It wasn't just this summer that she's talked about you, she's been talking about you since early high school. Maybe since she was 14, 15?" I realized that was the last time I'd seen her, before I graduated, before I went away to college, when she'd been the barely pubescent teeny-bopper with the oh-so-cute body and some tight fighting short shorts that had given me masturbation fantasy material so many years ago.

"But why is she trying to get rid of me?" I asked, my thoughts confused with this revelation. Stacy wanted me, but didn't want me?

"Oh, I don't know - maybe that you are cousins? Maybe that she wants you, but thinks she can't have you? Maybe it's easier to push you away now, before she gets more attached? I don't know, but I can sure make some good guesses."

I heard the bedroom door open and knew that Stacy would be coming out momentarily. I knew I had a brief respite when the fan in the bathroom came on. "Hey, can I call you back sometime? I've got to go, Stacy's up."

"Are you going to tell her we were talking?"

I didn't answer. Would it be 'cheating' to tell her I had been talking to Carrie? Would it be cheating to not tell her I was talking to Carrie? I'd called Carrie following Stacy's hints and wanting to know if she'd like to get together again some time, thinking it was after Stacy went back to school but somehow even just thinking about it had seemed like cheating. "Yeah, probably."

"You better."

"Ok."

"Rick?"

"Yeah?"

"I would love to get together with you and Stacy. We had a great time, but I don't think either of us are really interested in each other. Are we?"

~

I don't know why I put the question into Google. I mean, I suppose I really did in the back of my mind, but I didn't admit it to myself. "Can Cousins Get Married?" I knew it wasn't possible but was shocked to find out that what I "knew" was correct was, in itself, incorrect. I read for several hours on cousin marriages, where it's legal, where it's illegal, where it's customary - as in it is expected that you will probably marry a cousin. Surprisingly, I found that in Arab countries where women are supposed to be completely covered when in public to prevent enticing illicit ideas in uncontrollable men, it's estimated that one in four marriages are between first cousins. And statistics from the 20th Century say that nearly 50% of all marriages in Southern Italy were between cousins. Reading about the idea that "three legged babies" or "two-headed babies" could come from such a union, as I already knew, turned out to be false and based primarily on experiences of European Royal families. I ended up on the tangent of birth defects and their causes and probabilities, including that there is virtually no difference in the chances of a birth defect from a pregnancy with a cousin than there is from someone at random - unless it's repetitive for many generations. Although there is an extremely small chance of some unwanted recessive trait causing problems, without the repetitive in-breeding to maintain their "God Given Right To Subjugate All Lesser People" that European Royals were famous for, it is virtually impossible for a single union to cause problems.