D-DAY - Destruction of a Family

"Good Bye, Mr. Mathews You may go, stay...whatever. Oh, by the way..."

I turned and hit him with everything I had right in the face. I'm sure both his jaw and my hand have a broken bone or two. Then a hard kick to his balls. He folded like an off suit deuce-seven poker hand and went out like a light.

I looked at Jack. "Jack, if you're gonna arrest me. Let's get it over with so I can hit the road."

Jack just stood there with his mouth open, not believing what he just saw.

I picked up my two suitcases and walked to my truck. I just drove in no particular direction. Drove until my eyelids wouldn't stay open any longer. I was hurt and humiliated. I wanted to reek the same havoc on my cheating wife. Just like the invasion of France in 1944, I left a path of maximum destruction in my wake.

Chapter Four

It was two days before I turned my phone back on. As expected it was full of messages and missed calls from Anna, Dana, and Lauren's parents.

I listened to the last voicemail from Dana.

She said, "Well, Dad, you went for maximum hurt and destruction and you got it. Mom's in the hospital under a suicide watch. She's devastated. She won't stop crying. She just says, "I'm sorry" over and over. Please come home. I'm mad at you for the way you handled it but I understand. Anna is staying with Jack and is barely holding on as we speak. I'm glad she has him to cling too. She is confused and hurt. She doesn't know if she needs to be mad at you or Mom. She told Mathews that she never wanted to see or hear of him again. She wanted nothing to do with him. He said he understood and went to the ER for a broken nose and jaw. Again, come home, Dad. I love you."

I listened to Anna's voicemail.

It just said, "Dad, please. I need to talk to you. Please."

Tears rolled down my face. It was killing me knowing it wasn't my blood in her veins. Then to make it worse, Lauren kept it from me all these years. Am I overreacting? Damn right I am. Lauren needs to feel the pain I'm feeling.

I responded to Dana's voicemail by text.

Dana, I got your voicemail. I'm sorry that your mother is in the hospital. She should have known what her betrayal even though it was years ago would do to me and us. I can't come back right now, maybe never. I hope Anna can have some type of relationship with her father since I'm not him. I love you both and no, I can't just turn off twenty-five years of loving your mother either. That's why this hurts so bad. I need some time to get my head straight. Please tell your mom I said to just sign the papers and let me move on.

Love, Dad.

I wound up in the ER in some little town where they found I had two fractured bones in my hand. So now I was sporting a nice fiberglass cast too.

I turned my phone back off knowing it would be filled back up again in a few days. I just drove some more winding up somewhere in the mountains of Colorado. I went to a branch of our local bank and withdrew enough money to get me by for a month. I knew Lauren would see it on the bank statement and know where I was. I wasn't hiding, just moving around. After a few weeks, the loneliness crept in. I missed my girls terribly...all of them. I was still furious at Lauren. She had been my rock for so long, I didn't know how to live without her.

After a month, I called my attorney who told me that Lauren had signed the paperwork and we were just waiting on a hearing date and property split.

I listened to one of Anna's latest voicemails. It didn't sound like Anna.

She said, "Ok, Jason, the harlot, tramp, whore, whatever you want to call her signed the divorce papers. She's walking around so full of antidepressants that she's no more than a zombie. You got your revenge. I hope it gives you peace of mind knowing that you destroyed her. Yes, she was and is wrong. She knows it and can't change it. She cheated on you with another man and got pregnant by him in an ongoing sexual affair. You have every right to be furious and divorce her but If she had been faithful I wouldn't be here. Maybe some other version of me would be but it wouldn't be me. I have to live with the fact that I'm a product of infidelity. That means I can't and don't want a relationship with the asshole that filled Mom with his sperm and MY Dad, the man I've adored for twenty-one years, no longer wants me. I'm sorry...I love you.

Wow, Anna is hurting. I knew she would but I hoped she would deal with it. I guess I'll be single soon.

I hadn't checked my email in awhile so I did and saw one from Lauren.

"Jason, my loving husband, I'm sorry I haven't tried to contact you. I've been under a doctor's care since that day. Jesus, Jason, I'm a Pharmacist, I know what these drugs do. I'm so blitzed most of the time now that I don't even know what day it is. Right now, they are the only way I'm coping with losing you. The girls made me listen to the recording you made of your conversation with Todd at the bar. I'm so ashamed. Ashamed because his version was pretty much the way it was."

"I know the news about Anna killed you inside. I want you to know that I couldn't be more sorry regarding my behavior during that time. There's no adequate excuse. I was a horny, newly married young woman who was not ready to be a wife. The excitement of a man other than my husband giving me mind blowing orgasms and filling me with his semen a couple of times a day was overwhelming. It's not that he was better than you sexually. To put it crudely, he was just a different dick for my oversexed mind and body to enjoy. I never even considered I might get pregnant by him til I missed my period."

"Even after I confirmed I was pregnant, I continued the affair. I guess that shows you how screwed up I was mentally and sexually. It didn't occur to me what was really happening until I took a good look at my prominent baby bump and my growing breasts.Then, it hit me. You're going to be a mother. There's a little life inside you. I was having sex with both of you so it wasn't necessary to keep it a secret. I had already told you that you were going to be a daddy. You were so thrilled and I just kept on fucking Todd too. I'm a terrible person let alone wife."

"I signed the paperwork so you can be free to find someone to love you. I tried to make up for my sins of the past by being the best wife I could be but they caught up with me as infidelity eventually does. Just so you know, there were no others. I lost the one man in this world that I love so much that I would gladly die for. I grew up in those years after Anna was born and became the woman and wife you deserved and I still lost you. I pray that you will forgive me someday. Please don't cut Anna out of your life. She's a wonderful young woman. We did that, Jason. You and I. Be as proud of her as you are of Dana who, by the way, has 100% of our blood in her veins. I miss you...and love you.

Lauren

Once again, I have tears running down my face as I was truly lost in my emotions. God, how I loved her. There was a knock on my motel room door.

I opened the door and there stood Anna.

She rushed through the door and into my arms.

"Dad, Oh, Dad. You're crying?"

She threw her arms around me and began hugging me like she would never let me go.

Wiping my eyes, I said, "How...How did you find me?"

"Dad, Really? My fiancée and love of my life is a State Trooper. He's Superman and the other hero in my life. You being the first. We've been looking for you for a few weeks."

I asked, "Why, Anna? I wasn't good enough for your mom. Why do you want me in your life. I figured you would hate me for outing your Mom and Mathews. Then dropping that bomb on you."

"I kind of knew, Dad. When Dana said there must have been a mistake with the blood test. I checked. She was correct. There was no way you could be my biological father. That meant Mom had a lover 20 plus years ago. Jack and I were still trying to process what we knew on my birthday. You already had it all though. The who, the when, and the how I came to be."

"I'm sorry about that voicemail. I was hurt and mad. I didn't know who to blame. I took it out on you."

I said, "You know, Honey. I don't think you've ever called me Jason before."

Anna said, "Well, here's the second time. Jason, I need my father, my Dad, the man who made me what I am today, to walk me down the aisle in November when I become Jack's Badge Bunny for life. I need you, Dad."

I said, "Ok, Anna. Give me a sec and I'll give Todd a call. He'll be thrilled."

Anna slugged me on the arm and said, "Ok, Asshole, very funny. I just included Asshole in the list of your new titles. By the way Dad, you're 800 miles from home. Just so there's no misunderstanding, I had to spend last night in a hotel...with Jack. I took advantage of Jack. He might be pregnant. It was our first time to be intimate and he's not on the pill."

I laughingly responded, "Jesus, Anna, that's too much information. Dads don't want to know that stuff."

I looked through the door at Jack sitting in the car with that deer in the headlights look. I'm sure he was recalling the vision of Todd laid out in the floor bleeding.

"Anna? Please don't tell you're mother I'm coming home. I don't want her to get her hopes up that anything is changing. I still have a lot of soul searching to do and my heart hurts. I'll be home in a few days."

"Ok, Dad. Please don't beat her up anymore then she's already beat herself up. She's has nothing left. That light in her eyes that used to be there when she saw you walk in the door is gone. She does nothing but go to work, come home and cry. It's hard to see her like that, Dad. She wears your T-shirts to bed every night. She refuses to take her rings off. She won't until she receives that court document saying that you're free. She still clings to that little bit of hope that you will forgive her."

"We're headed back. We might have to spend the night out again," she said, grinning from ear to ear.

I frowned at Jack. He just smiled and gave me a little half hearted wave through the windshield.

Chapter Five

After Jack and Anna left, I sat their thinking about Lauren's email and what Anna had just told me. I knew my hurt and humiliation was still taking it's toll on me. I couldn't see stopping the divorce. Yes, her affair is old news to Lauren but it's like it was yesterday to me. I knew if I wanted to have a relationship with the girls I would have to learn to tolerate Lauren if only as my ex wife.

I began packing to return home. The vacation time I had taken from work was about up and I needed to get back.

When I returned, I located a small apartment that would suit my needs until the divorce was settled.

I called Lauren, "Jason, it's so good to hear from you. I've missed you so much. Are you going to stay here at the house?"

"No, Lauren, I've found an apartment. I just need to get some clothes and things things from the house for work if that's ok. I can't stay there with the feelings I have right now. I hope you understand that you've had over twenty years to come to terms with your lies and betrayal but it's like yesterday to me. I've only known about your betrayal for a month. It's too fresh and raw."

There was silence and I knew I probably just dashed any hope she had for us.

"Oh...ok, Jason. I understand. I want you to know that I love you. Do what you have to do."

The weeks and months went by. The day we had our final court hearing, it was like I was another person. The hole in my heart Lauren left was bigger than ever. During the waiting period, she had texted and phoned me trying to put a foot back into my life. Some I answered, some I didn't.

We stood in front of the judge, who hesitated a moment and looked at each of us.

The judge said, "Mr. and Mrs. Dixon, unfortunately, this is likely to be the last time I call you by those titles. There is obviously unfinished business between you two. I can see the heartbreak in both of you. Before I end this marriage, I want to say that I think you're making a mistake. I know the circumstances that led us here today and I'm not unsympathetic to Mr. Dixon. The heartbreak of finding out that you're not the biological father of the daughter you raised from infancy and the lies associated with it, are obviously devastating."

"Mrs. Dixon, as you know, I've talked to both of you privately, I know that you still love this man and somewhere in the broken pieces of his heart, he still loves you but he's adamant that he can't stay married to you. Sometimes love by itself can't overcome the feelings of disrespect and betrayal that he feels. I'm granting this divorce against my better judgement."

"God be with you both. Courts adjourned."

I looked over at Lauren, she was sobbing. Anna and Dana were with her, holding her.

Lauren looked at me through her tears and said, "I'm so, so sorry."

I just said, "I know."

Dana and Anna left their mother's side and walked over to me. They hugged me with tears in their eyes.

I said, "Take good care of your mom, Girls. She needs you."

Dana said, "And who's going to take care of you?"

"I don't know, Baby. No idea. But tonight, I feel it's going to be Jack Daniels or Jose Cuervo and in the morning I'm pretty sure the rest of me will be as dead as my heart."

I kissed both of them on the forehead, gave Lauren a last, sad look and walked out.

I woke up the next morning with what sounded like somebody beating on my apartment door with a frying pan, but it was just my alarm going off. The empty Jack Daniels bottle on the floor told the sad tale. I stumbled around and found some aspirin and a bottle of water. I'm pretty sure someone took a shit in my mouth.

I thought, "Jesus, what's that smell. Damn, it's me. Ok, Jason, you have got to get your shit together and move on. You got what you wanted, didn't you? That cheating whore of a wife is history. You've divorced her. You punched out her lover and baby daddy of twenty years ago. You happy now? No, you're not. Your once happy family looks like the beaches of Normandy on June 6th, 1944. Nothing but bodies everywhere. Difference is, the Allies still overcame and won. There were no winners here."

I turned the water on and just leaned against the wall in the shower. My head was pounding. I finally cleaned up and brushed my teeth three times. Never again, never again.

The months went by...two then four, then eight months since the divorce was final. I speak to the girls often and have even texted with Lauren several times about different things, mostly about the girls. First thing I knew a year had gone by since my world imploded.

I was in a local bar with some coworkers having a beer after work when she walked in...Lauren, and she wasn't alone. She was on the arm of an average looking man in an expensive suit. She appeared to be in her work clothes minus the white coat. What was this feeling? Anger, Jealousy, what? She's moved on and I obviously haven't. I excused myself and started to leave when she saw me. Her hand went to her mouth and she untangled her arm from her man. I just smiled at her and walked out. Her eyes never left me. She started to rise from her seat when her date grabbed her hand. I just nodded. He was unaware of our nonverbal communication.

I got in my truck and drove away, ignoring the tears rolling down my cheek. I had wondered what it would be like if I saw her out with another man. It was heart wrenching. I was almost to my apartment when my phone rang.

It was Dana. She said, "Hi, Dad, how are you?"

I said, "Hi, Kiddo, I've been better but I can't remember that far back."

"Dad? Mom's seeing someone."

"Oh, really? I guess she's moved on. She's still a beautiful woman. I'm not surprised some guy latched on to her."

I didn't mention that I had seen her and her new man.

"Dad, she's been seeing a therapist for several months who has convinced her to move on with her life. She's dating."

I said, "Ok, Dana, why are you telling me this? I divorced her. She's free to do whatever she wants. I'm no longer a part of her life other than you and Anna."

"Damn it, Dad, You are so blind. She may be dating but there's only one man she wants and that's you. Annas's wedding is in a few months. Isn't it going to be awkward if she shows up with a date?"

"Dana, I can't control what your mom does or doesn't do. We talk occasionally but she doesn't speak of her love life. I will ask her next time we talk if she plans on bringing a date."

"Ok, Dad. Just wanted you to know that it looks like she's moving on. I miss you. I know you still love her. Damn, you two are stubborn as mules."

Another month went by. I had a couple of calls from Lauren but I didn't answer them. No point, she's moved on.

I had not dated anyone since the divorce. My heart wasn't in it and it just wouldn't have been fair to drag my baggage with me on what's supposed to be a fun outing but things change.

I was working on a bid for our products when an absolutely gorgeous woman bolted into my office.

She came through the door and said, Hi, I'm Melanie Ford and you're Jason Dixon, I believe. I hear you need a date for tonight and I just happen to be available so here I am. We have reservations at that new restaurant everyone's raving about, Angelicas."

She wrote her phone number and address on my desk calendar and said, "I'll be ready at 6:30 with rings on my fingers and bells on my toes...IF you are into that sort of thing."

She winked and was back out the door as quick as she blew in.

I thought, "What just happened?" Then, I smiled. I see Anna and Dana's fingerprints all over this date. I have to say if they are gonna fix me up with a blind date, this one is a knockout.

I went home and was getting ready when it hit me that's it's been over twenty-six years since I've been on a real date. Do I even know how to act? All those years with Lauren, I just stared at her anytime we were out, taking in her beauty and knowing she was mine.

When I arrived at Melanie's house, I went to the door and rang the bell. She opened the door and I thought, "Who is this woman? She's even more beautiful than when she was in my office."

She said, "Well, Jason, do I pass inspection?"

I said, "Jesus, Miss Ford. You take my breath away. You sure I'm the guy you want taking you out? You are smoking hot."

Melanie's long black hair hung just over her shoulders, her eyes were the bluest I've ever seen. Her lipstick was red and her make up was perfect. She was wearing a royal blue dress that stopped just above her knees. I could see the points of her nipples telling me there was no bra under that dress. She had on sun tan hosiery that ended with her gorgeous blue polished toes protruding out of the sexiest stiletto peep toe heels I've ever seen.

I escorted her to our Uber she told me she had ordered. We got in and she immediately put her arm in mine. It felt good. The attention she was giving me was going straight to my cock. I was doing my best to hide the chubby that was definitely there.

We walked in and the host seated us. Melanie was a delightful date. We talked and discussed most everything. She is divorced also. No drama with hers. Just a amicable breakup. She listened to as much of my story as I wanted to tell at this point in our relationship but I got the feeling she already knew much of my story. She caught me gazing at her eyes.

"See something you like, Jason?"

Honestly Melanie, I think I'm dreaming. I'm just an average guy. Nothing special and you're beautiful. I'm so far beneath you that I don't really know why I'm here. It's not everyday that a Goddess busts into my office telling me we're going out tonight. Suddenly, I felt nylon covered toes on my bare leg, snaking their way up my pants leg. I nearly lost the mouthful of tea that I'd just sipped.