All Comments on 'Damascus'

This is fascinating, and I really want to see where this goes. She lied when she said she wasn't being forced into it, no matter what she believes, it's obvious she's being forced, and Vincenzo seems to know this. Wonder if that will play into future chapters.

I'm glad you're enjoying it.

It’s so good

So far so good

There’s absolutely nothing about this that is BDSM, it would be better off in Non Con or Horror. Even though she’s given consent it’s not freely given because, she’s been emotionally blackmailed into this. It’s misguided a sacrifice that she’s giving in the name of love which is ironic because it’s inevitable that she will end up despising the rest of her family and rightly so.

If at any time she decides that she’s enjoying whatever is happening to her there’s a very high possibility that it’s only due to grooming or Stockholm Syndrome. Her so called father is an utter piece of shit and a failure of a human being. No real parent would agree to this.

As horror stories go its very well written, you have a flair for the dramatic (I should probably add that to me it comes across as a horror story). Good touch including the suicide clause. I found it pretty ironic that he offered to protect her from her father when he’s just as complicit in pushing her down this route. She’s painfully naive. It’s cruel to give her the lose:lose choice of *offer yourself into slavery or we kill this person you love*, most would choose the lesser evil. If she chose not to do this it would (to her) put the blame for his death firmly on her shoulders when she’s the only innocent party in this arrangement. So despite how talented (very talented) I think your writing skills are it’s probably best if I don’t read further instalments. It’s not my kind of fantasy because I strongly doubt it’s going end up as a HEA, it’s not implausible or impossible but I do think it’s unlikely.

Best of luck with your writing.

Tess (uk)

Hi. I agree with you that reluctant consent stories like this should probably have their own category. In real life, consent is a fundamental part of BDSM. I stick with the BDSM category because that's where people who are looking for fictional stories like this tend to look.

I also find this story problematic, for the reasons you state. I can't post links here but on my blog (A Middle-Aged Divorcee Writes Smut) there's a post called "Maybe I'm giving up on my smutty novel in progress" that discusses that.

In the end, all I can say is that this is a story that I enjoy writing and that some people enjoy reading. One of the things I enjoy most about it is struggling with character arcs -- how can I redeem Vincenzo, who is doing something so very evil in the world? How can I redeem Belinda, who is so clueless?

That’s true, as much as Vincenzo is doing evil he also saved some people. In this kinda world he is also somewhat kind. If this is a regular story you’re writing with many chapters on another platform like inkitt or wattapad I would gladly vote for it and read it. To seems like a good actual story not just few chapters story. Your writing is very good and not cheap or short. I hope you can turn this to something more. I really like this story. I was wondering if her brother will come and try to watch her to further humiliate her? If Vincenzo will take her for himself sing he is the one that put his name on the contract, where can she go from here? Is she ever going to be like the other girls or stay shy, will be there any abuse, is she gonna fall for Vincenzo and that would break her because to him she is just an investment? You see I am so into this story 😂 lol and I can’t wait ( i hope) for more

Thanks Anonymous! I'm glad you are enjoying the story. Your questions will all be answered . . . eventually!