by fightfirewithwater
What a start to 2009. I loved your beginning,looking forward to the next chapter. Happy New Year!!
That's a great start to start a new year! I'll be patiently waiting. =)
abrupt ending. Could definitely have been longer. I'll still look out for the next chapter, though.
I enjoyed your start. Kayla sounds like a barrel of fun, with a bit of a sensitive side. I look forward to how her and Alec develop.
whats up with you spelling G-d this way? It was kind of distracting.... for me at least. Especially since you used it a bunch of time during the story. I understand we as christians arent supposed to use God's name in vain and all that jazz and if thats the case, just don't use it.
Excell-nt potential but it's d-fficult to r-ad when you have poorly pl-ced - - -. Why spell God that way when your story is titled "Damn"? I'm interested to see where this goes and I really hope you continue.
Kayla sounds fresh and determined. Alec sounds like he smart enough to pick up on that and may want more. Great! Another installment Please!!!! LOL.
I would like to know more about your character,since all I know is that she has car trouble, and is late for an apointment.Thanks....Rich
Good start keep it going. I so look forward to more of your writing.
Damn teaser to stop there but Ill forgive u if u submit the next chapter pronto pronto! Cat
I'm looking forward to the next chapter. As for the comments below about the "G-d", I just assumed the author was Jewish, as practicing/orthodox Jews often don't spell out "God". It is somewhat distracting, though, as the author decided to write "G-d" so frequently in this short chapter. Maybe they should choose another phrase...
Right now im in love with this story. Seriously i like this starring off point but if your going to put G-D in everytime why not just NOT use god at all use jeez or something. Its not a crime to say oh god.
...how you introduce Kayla here. I love her fire and how she calls Bambi "Bimbo." Realistic dialogue, good backstory for both (and I can really relate to Alec hating his job--I'm sure many can). I never particularly care for 1 pagers, BUT this is exceptional. Thanks for a quality story (although my comment comes years late) to fill the Lit site, something badly needed.