Dance of Desire

"I can see both," Cam said, ignoring the sharp pang. "Your mother looks like an advert for 'come and live in Spain, where everything is beautiful.'"

Frankie laughed in delight. "Yea, she sure is pretty."

"I've seen your mother at competitions sometimes, but never your dad?"

"Well he's mostly in Cuba, or on tour. Mum splits her time mainly between the UK and Spain. I think in an average year they get about four months together in total."

"That's tough. On their marriage."

"Oh, they're not married," Frankie told him. "It's part of the reason Mum raised me here. Deliberately made me British, which I am, by the way. Her family are quite toxic. My parent's relationship is unusual, but it works for them."

Cam noticed something, something in Frankie's eyes, quickly shuttered. Before he could ask, Frankie took the picture back to his office and then walked slowly back over to Cam. "Does that bother you. Knowing I'm illegitimate?"

"Frankie, I don't even know who my father was."

Frankie took Cam's arm and led him to the couch. "That's hard. I'm sorry. I only know that your mum passed when you were young. It sounds like it was tough for you."

Cam looked at his drink, frowning. "I think, probably, my brother and me have different fathers. But no one knows who. Where we lived was very rough, no one had money, apart from the gangs who sold the drugs." He glanced at Frankie awkwardly, but Frankie just gave him an understanding smile.

"Cam. My mum is worth a fortune, yes. But my dad came from nothing. And nothing in Cuba, is nothing. Trust me, you won't shock me. You would be surprised what I've seen."

"You surprise me all the time," Cam said with a soft smile, briefly cupping Frankie's cheek.

"My mother died when she had my brother. I was twelve. I don't really remember her well, we didn't spend much time together. We were passed to her brother, my uncle, to raise." Cam pushed a hand through his hair. "He is no good. All he does is drink. I started to do jobs for people, to earn money and pay a neighbour to watch the baby. I worked for bad people, and did bad things. I was small and skinny, it was useful to them."

Frankie moved closer and took his hand. "I'm sorry you had so much responsibility so young. I hope you don't blame yourself for decisions you made when you were a kid."

"I don't. I would do anything for Tonio. Anything." He drank a little then continued. "One day, I was just fourteen. I got caught delivering fake money by a rival gang. They beat me. Not badly, I was a child after all, but I was scared and hurt and limped home feeling like it wasn't possible to continue."

Frankie pressed a kiss to his arm.

"But when I staggered through the door, of course the first thing I saw was my uncle, passed out as usual." He surprised Frankie by smiling. "The second thing was my brother, sleeping in the arms of an angel."

His smile widened now. "I thought she was an angel at first. But as my eyes adjusted, helped by my neighbour hitting my head to remind me of my manners, I realized she was a nun."

"A nun?"

"Si," Cam smiled and moved his hands over his head. "The old fashioned head dress, and clothing you know. Like in a film. The Blessed Sister's. They are very strict."

"A nun!" Frankie exclaimed again. He was fascinated.

"I genuflected. Probably badly, I had never been to mass in my life, and fell to my knees. She said, in so soft a voice. 'Can you follow me?' I could only nod, and she just smiled and walked out. My neighbour lifted me and told me to go with her. Not to look back. I thanked her and followed the nun and my brother."

"Where to?"

"To the convent. A hand guided me that day. When we walked in, I told the nun that I did not know what I should do. How to enter a house of God correctly. She smiled and told me tomorrow was soon enough for that. We went to a small room, there was a bed and a cot. My brother was still sleeping. Sister Maria, that is her name. She fetched me water and tended me. I wasn't badly hurt," he reassured Frankie quickly.

"I slept that night, knowing we were safe. I just knew. The next morning I met Sister Maria's sister. Bella is a lovely lady. They knew about us, you see. Me and Tonio. About my uncle. My neighbour had confessed to her priest and begged him for help. He sent us help. Bella fostered Tonio. I stayed with the nuns and did chores, and went to school. Mostly!" he added with a wicked and charming grin.

"I took my evening meal with Bella and her family. I saw my brother every day. In return I did the chores and did what the nuns asked of me. Which included, to my horror, helping at the ballroom classes which were run in the youth centre. They never had enough boys."

"I have the same problem," Frankie sighed dramatically and made Cam laugh. "Did you hate it?"

Cam shook his head, his blue eyes bright with passion. "For the first hour, maybe. But no. I was dancing in competitions within six months."

"It all happened from there? How long did you stay with the nuns?"

"Until I was sixteen. After that it was decided not appropriate, so I moved to Bella's, until I had what I needed to come to the UK."

"How come everyone doesn't know this story? It's amazing. Sad, but amazing. And a happy ending, right?"

"I hope. Tonio wants to go to vet school. That's why I have to win this competition."

Frankie opened his mouth to blurt that he could pay for vet school. Would be happy to. But common sense intervened. "Then we will win," he said simply. After all, if they didn't he could still pay. He would just need to work around Cam's pride.

Cam smiled. "People do know. That I come from the streets of Naples. I know people talk about it."

Frankie shrugged. "I never knew if it was true, so I never paid much attention. What?" he asked as Cam burst out laughing.

"I always thought you were looking down your nose at me."

"No. I never did," Frankie was horrified. "I just thought you were surly"

"Surly?"

"Grumpy."

Cam laughed again. "Perhaps I am a little grumpy."

"Do you have a picture? Of Tonio?"

Cam's eyes crinkled with his smile, "Yes, of course." He retrieved his phone, switched it on (ignoring Frankie rolling his eyes) and passed over a picture of himself, with a pretty middle aged lady in between him and a beautiful young man with large dark Italian eyes and perfect thick dark brown floppy hair. Next to the young man was a gorgeous girl, about the same age, with equally captivating dark eyes and a sunny smile.

Frankie looked at Cam, with his dark blonde hair and blue eyes. (Which had a tendency to darken depending on his mood.) Then back at the picture, "Ah."

"We don't look alike."

"Actually, you do a bit, around the jaw. Is this Bella?" He pointed at the lady with her head tipped to Cam's shoulder.

"Si. Yes, I mean."

"And this beautiful girl?"

"Our sister. Tonio's sister. Um," Cam frowned and made a frustrated gesture. "Bella's daughter. Lucia. She was one year old when Bella took Tonio. They grew up together."

Frankie took Cam's hand to get his full attention, and smiled softly. His eyes shining with emotion. "I never knew you had a sister, Cam."

Cam's smile lit his whole face, and he waved his hand at the phone. "My family."

"You're lucky."

"Si." He cleared his throat. "Thank you for understanding."

"I totally get it. How old is Tonio?"

"He is nineteen."

"So you're thirty-one?" Frankie fluttered his lashes. "Older men are hot."

"I thought you were older," Cam deadpanned, then cracked up at Frankie's offended gasp.

"Shut up, I'm twenty-eight." He looked back at the picture, "I would love to meet them all."

"Well, if you come to Naples you will have to help at the youth centre. To teach. But that would be good because they always need more boys."

Frankie stared at him with astonishment.

"I cannot go to Naples without helping out a day or two at the classes. I think they would refuse to let me back into the country. I have a UK passport now, I do not take for granted my ability to return to Italy."

"But. Italy? Would they not be offended by us? I mean. Nun's right?"

"Oh, I see. Well, it's the only way you would get to meet Sister Maria. The order is semi-closed so it's only when they are helping the community that they can meet people. Bella only gets one visit per year."

"You're kidding."

"It's hard. But if you came I would be friends. I mean, we would be friends. I wouldn't make it clear about us. Not that I am ashamed, but I wouldn't want to upset them. It's up to you."

"That would be fine. I would love to help out. And meet your family."

"Sister Maria would know. She knew about one of my boyfriends. I was upset one day and talked with her, because it felt wrong. I felt that I was wrong. She was kind, but it's hard for her, you understand?"

"Sure," Frankie nodded. "But what do you mean about it being wrong. With your boyfriend?"

Cam huffed and thought for a moment. "I liked him, and being with him, but some things. Like kissing. It felt rivoltante." He stopped frustrated.

"Rivo-what now? Too fast!"

"I don't know how to say!"

"So describe it."

Cam thought for a moment, and then inspired, "It's like you are having a dream. You are dreaming that there is a giant oyster that is kissing you. Your mouth is open and all the slimy fleshy bits of the oyster are in your mouth, and then when you wake up and realize it is a dream, but your pet octopus has crawled onto your face and your mouth is open and..."

"Please. God. Stop," Frankie cried. "Oh my God, that's repulsive."

"Repulsive. Yes, like that." Cam was laughing at Frankie's reaction now.

"Wait," Frankie stopped fake gagging and turned to him in shock. "You find kissing boys repulsive."

"Yes."

He laughed again at Frankie's horrified expression, cupping his cheeks and kissing him softly. "Not with you, never with you."

"You scared me," Frankie complained.

Cam studied him seriously. "I've never wanted anyone like this before. I didn't know it was possible."

Frankie gave him a pleased and slightly shy smile and rubbed Cam's wrist. "I'm glad. That makes me really happy."

They both sank more comfortably onto the sofa, fingers linked.

"So I saw Beth yesterday," Cam offered.

"She okay?"

"Yea, she's doing really well. And she has this little bump, it's so cute." Cam took a breath, looking back at Frankie who just watched him patiently. "I told her about our fight. About what I said and what happened. I asked her if I had ever upset or offended her."

Frankie just waited.

"She got why you were upset. She and Lewis are a little worried about the baby and stuff he or she might have to deal with, being raised in the UK. But Beth said it wasn't a trigger for her, and I guess she knows me pretty well. She reminded me that it all started with a joke with us. We were messing around one day in rehearsal and just being crazy. Then it became like a shortcut between us. Sometimes in frustration, like a complaint, or sometimes in fun, but we have a very lot of animal curses we use. We usually end up laughing like crazy people. What?" he asked when Frankie flashed a grin.

Frankie, who had been charmed by Cam's phrasing, decided to be discreet and said instead, "Laughing like loons?"

"What's a loon?"

"A bird. It's call sounds like a laugh, I think."

"Ha! Yes, like that." He smiled, but then grew more serious again. "She said I need to be more aware, and remember that I'm working in a second language so to also be cautious. She also reminded me of the time she and Dee had a fight, but they're good friends now, so that worked out okay."

"They had a fight?" What about?"

"It was our first season dancing together, and we went over for some of the West Coast circuit. Beth's first time in the States. Dee overheard Beth referring to herself as coloured and got so upset. Really, really angry. I didn't understand what was going on, it was Robbie who broke them up."

"Robbie stepped between Dee and Beth. Holy shit. That was either insane or brave. How did he survive?"

"He was really calm, but very firm. I mean Dee is twice Beth's size! He tucked Beth under his arm and told them both 'stop'. Then he explained to Beth that the term coloured wasn't used in the States. It was considered offensive. Actually, she knew. She just forgot in her excitement to be there. Then he told Dee off for not showing more respect, that Beth had the right to refer to herself in whatever way was comfortable for her and that Dee should remember she was new to the circuit, new to the States."

Cam ran his hand through his hair, doing nothing to tidy it. "He was just so in control they both calmed down and apologized. They were both so upset that they had upset each other. They have been friends ever since. And Beth is more careful generally, as it's the same here in the UK, really."

Frankie considered him for a moment, then nudged his knee against Cam's. "And? Because I can see you have a question."

Cam shrugged. "I don't really understand." He looked at Frankie carefully. " I don't want to upset you," he added.

"You won't upset me."

Cam screwed his face up, but then admitted. "I've heard Dee say she is a woman of colour."

"Ah!"

"But she is angry to be called coloured."

"Hmmmm."

"Is the same word?"

"Yes. It is the same word. Would you like me to explain?" he asked, chuckling as Cam muttered something that sounded suspiciously like 'fucking stupid English'.

"Yes. Please," Cam said louder and slightly desperately.

Frankie sat up a little straighter, and thought for a moment. "It's the difference between a choice that is made for you, and a choice that you make." He looked to see if this had helped and laughed out loud when Cam just looked confused and let out a little whine.

"Okay. A more direct example. The term 'coloured' was used, very widely in the States and quite a lot here in the UK, to control what people could do, how they could live. Like, you can't stay at that hotel, 'no coloured'. Or you can't use that water fountain 'whites only', you use that one, 'coloured'. You see?"

Cam nodded. "It is like a way to control and make people feel less."

"Exactly," Frankie beamed at him. "But more recently, the term 'woman or women of colour' has become a popular way of celebrating your heritage. It's kinda like a girl power thing. Like we are women of colour and we can totally do anything we want."

"Like people from our community reclaiming 'queer'?"

"Yes. Exactly like that."

"So it's like all the other English words that sound the same but have different meanings?"

"Does that make sense to you?" Frankie wondered. Thinking that technically colour and coloured have pretty much the same meaning.

Cam nodded.

"Yes, it's exactly like that," Frankie agreed and then slumped back on the sofa. Dragging his wrist over his forehead. "Phew. Tough questions!"

"I have another."

"Oh shit!"

"Because you are so good at explaining."

Frankie merely rolled his eyes and waited.

"Beth taught me about the hair thing. That I'm not allowed to say nice things about black ladies hair, unless it's her." He said this with a frown, as if he didn't really understand and Frankie cracked up with how absolutely adorable Cam was being right now.

"Horror," he joked. "I'm so relieved that Beth has been training you properly."

"But what about black men? I mean, am I allowed to tell you how much better I like you hair now that it's short, and not in those little plaits?"

"Cornrows. Not plaits. You didn't like them?"

"They look so painful," Cam admitted.

Frankie laughed again, "They're not painful."

"I like it now. Am I allowed to touch it? Am I upsetting you?"

"I'm not upset, and you can touch my hair, Cam."

Cam shifted closer on the couch. Lightly gripping the front of Frankie's shirt with his right hand, while reaching up with his left and sinking his fingers into Frankie's dark short curls. "It's so soft," he whispered.

"What do you expect. Barbed wire?" Frankie's eyes closed and he moaned as Cam caressed. Smiling slightly as he felt Cam lean over him and lips press against his hairline.

"What about your skin, Frankie. Am I allowed to talk about the colour of your skin, or will you be offended?"

"That would probably depend on what you say," Frankie told him, then gasped as his shirt fell open, exposing his torso.

Cam spread his large hand across Frankie's abs. Smirking when the muscles trembled under his touch. When Frankie let out the gasp in a shaky breath.

"I would say you are beautiful. You are flawless," Cam told him. "And your skin is like dark honey."

"Not offended so far," Frankie managed.

"I wonder if you taste like honey," Cam mused and dipped his head. His hands gliding up the sides of Frankie's waist, as he pressed a wet open mouthed kiss to his navel. Licking the skin and flicking his tongue into the little dip.

"Urrgggghh," Frankie groaned. His hips jerking, even as the rest of him went completely limp.

"Fuck, you taste so good," Cam rumbled as he kissed, licked and nipped at Frankie's skin. Grinning and raising his head when he hit a sensitive spot and Frankie jerked again.

"Cam?"

"Shhh." Cam spread his left hand up over Frankie's chest to hold him still, as his right hand glided down and cupped him firmly. Frankie's eyes opened wide. "I want to see you. I want to know if all of you is this beautiful. I want to know if you taste of honey." He gave Frankie a gentle squeeze to reinforce his meaning.

Frankie jolted as if electrocuted. "You mean?" He moaned loudly when Cam lowered his head and nuzzled at his crotch. "But, wait. What? Arrghhh." He laced his fingers through Cam's hair. "Jesus, now I can't speak English! Cam wait."

Cam lifted his head. "Why?"

"I just feel like you've gone from zero to five hundred miles an hour."

Cam grinned. "I am Italian. I am like a Ferrari."

"Ferrari's don't go five hundred miles per hour."

"They do when I drive them!" His eyes softened at Frankie's slightly panicked look. "Frankie, it is not so fast for me. We have been together almost every day. Dancing and touching and talking. We see more of each other than most people who are married. I want to look at you. All of you. And touch you, and taste you. It is not so fast. Is it too fast for you?"

"I'm not promiscuous," Frankie said. Reassured when Cam muttered acknowledgment. "But no, it's not too fast for me." He sat himself up and leaned forward for a kiss. "Can I just be clear though. I'm getting a blow job?"

"Is that okay?"

"Yes. Am I allowed to return the favour?"

"I would be offended if you didn't," Cam told him and Frankie laughed slightly, before standing.

"Let's go to my room."

-X

Frankie felt like a teenager when Cam pushed the bedroom door closed and then took him in his arms. Pulling their bodies close in a deep kiss.

He was relieved that Cam had more confidence, but it felt almost like as Cam's confidence grew, his slipped away.

His shirt fell away and Cam tipped his head back to gain access to his neck. Licking and kissing and nipping.

Frankie knew that much of his concern was based round not pushing Cam faster than he was comfortable with, so he decided to let Cam have the lead and just enjoy.

Cam felt Frankie's surrender and took full advantage. Lowering him to the bed and reaching immediately for the button on his jeans.

Frankie laughed out loud, "Zero to five hundred!"

"Five thousand," Cam mumbled as he tugged the jeans down.

Frankie just grinned and raised his hips to help, before propping himself up slightly and watching Cam with interest.

Cam pulled the jeans free and then, with a cheeky, "Very sexy." He tugged Frankie's socks off and threw them over his shoulder. Frankie laughed again, as one flipped and landed on Cam's head. He flicked it away and shook out his hair like a wannabe Loreal advert.