Dancing in the Dark Pt. 02

The silence was deafening but Georgie's voice was sneering when she finally broke it.

"What's this, be nice to the Trans girl week? You think that those big words..."

Now, I did lose it.

"For fuck's sake Georgie. Just listen to yourself. On one hand you're accusing me of being prejudiced against you... because you're Trans and then on the other I'm only doing it because I'm taking pity on you... because you're Trans. It cannot be both! Now, can I suggest that we stop this conversation and you go away and contemplate whether you would like me to try out to be your dance partner. Take your time but please ring me back... either way... I have unblocked your number so you will be able to get through to me. Good bye."

"Jason... wait..."

I could tell by the tone of her voice that she was desperate to apologise but I disconnected the call anyway.

Chapter 12

She texted me almost immediately.

> sorry Jason. being a brat today. Not yr fault so sorry to take it out on u. feeling a bit battered

< yr mum been beating you up again? LOL. no worries, call me when u feel better

There was a pause then a photo arrived which came into focus showing Georgie with two very black eyes and tape and bandages across her nose.

< wow, she has been beating u up

> no silly, I had a nose job

< why? U had a very nice nose before.

> it had a bump.

I wasn't sure how to respond to that as if there was one then it wasn't noticeable. Yet more indication of her fragile state of mind. I tend to text in the way I speak so the next message was just my stream of consciousness.

< Hope it has not ruined yr lovely smile

She did not respond to that for a few minutes.

> U really think I have a nice smile?

< yes, but u don't do it enough

>not much to smile about

<all the more reason to start dancing again

There was another delay before she replied.

> 

>is that good enough?

<sending me an emoji doesn't count. Look, why don't you come out for a drink with me so we can at least talk about my suggestion? What have you got to lose?

>my street cred being seen with an old fart!

Before I could reply to the insult she sent another text

>sorry, jk, u made it too easy. LOL.

At least she was attempting humour which was an improvement on the previous half hour.

<I'll wear a paper bag over my head if it helps.

>No need, I'll sit on another table 

<Ha bloody ha! Have a pop at the old fart why don't you

There was a pause in the pace of her replies again. I wondered if she really thought that I was offended.

>yes, I would love to have a drink with you. When? Where?

I smiled with relief as much as anything as she had moved from the earlier petulance to impatient teenager.

<How about the Mucky Duck seeing as we both like the beer. Are you free tomorrow evening?

>what else wld I b doing?

<looking at yr stamp collection?

>WTF is a stamp collection?

Oh, the youth of today!

<never mind. C U at 7.30. I'll be wearing a red rose in my button hole and carrying a rolled up copy of the Financial Times.

>Why?

<so you will recognise me

>but I kno what u look like

God give me strength!

<never mind. C u tomorrow.

>cant wait

I felt that this was a good point to end the conversation but Georgie had other ideas and sent another text about 5 minutes later. Obviously after she had reflected on the situation.

>thx for not blowing me off when I was being a brat earlier. Not everyone puts up with me when I do full blown diva. It is a good thing you like my smile! x

I noted the 'x' but felt it appropriate to try to get a jokey one back at her.

<it's not that special.

There was a delay in her response and when it arrived I realised once again that she was too fragile to cope with jokes about what she looked like.

>well fuck u.

Oh shit!

She did not pick up when I rang her.

Chapter 13

I did not have time, or more likely made a deliberate choice not to have time, to contact Georgie the next day as I was still too busy trying to catch up on what the state of my business was after 2 weeks of neglect while I was training with Wendy. Georgie did not contact me either and after the way it had ended the previous evening I had no idea if she was going to turn up for our meeting at all. Thus, it was with some trepidation that I approached the White Swan at 7.15 that evening. I did have the sense to realise that she was unlikely to be early but wanted to be there when... if... she arrived to avoid her embarrassment of being a single girl alone in a pub.

I saw they had a guest beer from the Outer Hebrides called 'Old Socks' which I ordered out of curiosity to see if it tasted anything like it's name. It disappointed in as much that it bore no resemblance to tatty footwear and I felt like making a claim under the Trades Description Act but was actually enjoying it, when I sensed a person standing by the side of the table I was sitting at. I looked up and saw Georgie who's tightly clasped hands and pensive, tentative smile betrayed her nervousness. Her face still showed the bruising from her nose job and her voice was nasal and halting.

"You came... I wasn't sure you would... after yesterday."

I stood and smiled warmly at her.

"I wondered the same thing about you. It's good to see you."

I was unsure about what I should do to greet her. A handshake seemed too formal, a kiss on the cheek... too forward, so I opened my arms to give her a hug which left me vulnerable to look like a twat if she rejected the offer. However, it had totally the opposite effect as she fell into my embrace with her smile returned full force. I enfolded her in my arms with her head resting on my shoulder and we stood like that for a long time. I could feel her shaking in my arms and I was sure she was crying but left her to get it out of her system.

I'm a big believer in hugs and cuddles as an opportunity to de-stress so just let it carry on for as long as she wanted. In any case, I found myself enjoying the physical contact, the smell of her hair and the feel of her slim body under my hands and was sorry when she eventually pulled her head away from my shoulder and looked up at me with a tear-stained face. I reached into my pocket for my handkerchief and she dabbed her eyes trying to avoid disturbing her mascara and avoid the bruises.

"Thank you, Jason. You have no idea how much that hug meant to me. You are sweet man."

I could see Georgie's mind working through her eyes and facial expression as she decided what to do or say next. She surprised me slightly by leaning up to kiss me and I moved slightly which caused the kiss to catch the corner of my mouth. That surprise was compounded by the fact that it lasted slightly longer than would be deemed appropriate (by the Kiss Police) for the relationship that we had up to that point and I felt a tinge of regret when it ended. She stepped back and blushed slightly and looked away and I cleared my throat.

"I'm so glad you came Georgie. Can we put the little misunderstandings behind us, please?"

She nodded and smiled guiltily (still a lovely smile).

"Yes please. I can't guarantee not to behave like a complete brat in the future... but I'll try not to take advantage of your good nature..."

I grinned and raised my eyebrow with a 'yeah right' look. She grinned guiltily in acknowledgement of the likelihood that statement might need revisiting in future but then stepped back slightly and looked searchingly at my face.

"You do know what a difference you have made to my life, don't you?"

Whoa!

Hold on here!

I must have looked shocked... horrified, even.

She smiled reassuringly.

"No, don't panic! You're the first guy I've met since... whenever... probably forever... who gives me shit back when I deserve it but also gives support when I need it. Someone who says things that make sense to me but isn't judgemental by my life choices. You're... you're behaving like I would have liked my Dad to have done."

Whilst some might have been pleased with such an accolade, why did that statement disappoint me?

Chapter 14

I went to get her a beer and on my recommendation, she went for the 'Old Socks'. I returned to the table and noticed that she had taken off her coat and was wearing a tight, V-neck top that showed two breasts that seemed larger than the first time that we met.

Had she had a boob job as well as the work on her nose, since that first occasion?

I placed her drink down trying not to look down her top but she bent forward at the wrong (or right) moment. I did my best not to stare but I looked up at her face as I sat down and saw a slight smirk in her eyes and playing around her lips. Busted!

I must have blushed as I looked at her with an apology in my eyes. This caused her to shake her head and giggle.

"Sorry I couldn't resist the temptation of showing them off. In case you were wondering, yes, they're a recent upgrade as well! I wasn't going to grow any bigger than an A with just hormones but I've resisted the temptation to go for double D's as they may have made dancing a bit difficult and have settled for a B. I can always go bigger at a later date if I want to. What do you think?"

I was a bit taken aback at the fact that she would talk to me about her boob job in the first place so wasn't quite sure what the question was about, the fact she had one, or the size of them. I could only ask for clarification and hopefully do it in a cool way that did not betray my discomfort.

"Sorry, what do I think about you having a boob job or what I think about the... umm... size of your... "

I couldn't maintain my cool and Georgie giggled as I got tongue-tied. I blushed and looked away but she reached a hand across the table and grasped one of my hands. I looked back at her and saw that beautiful smile, so whatever discomfort I might have felt, disappeared.

"Sorry Jason, I did say that I could still be a brat in the future. I'm just sorry it has happened so quickly."

She giggled again and had a very naughty look in her eye. She was obviously having a ball winding me up. I lifted my glass to take a swig but she was on a roll and the next statement was totally unexpected.

"If you like you can touch them just to see how natural they are. I've not had a hot guy touch them yet!"

The mouthful of beer I had just taken was inhaled and exhaled in quick succession. However, God does have a sense of fair play as a lot of it splashed across her top. I was coughing fit to burst but Georgie just giggled the whole time as she tried to dab at the stain with my handkerchief. I glared at her.

"You just need to have some consideration for my health before saying things like that. What's got into you, anyway? You seem awfully 'up' for someone who was telling me to fuck off yesterday."

That seemed to sober her up a bit and she looked suitably chagrined although there was still a hint of mischief playing in her pale blue eyes.

"Well, yes, but it's not often I get the opportunity to flirt with a hot older guy... "

Her voice trailed off and she looked away before meeting my gaze again with a slightly embarrassed look on her face.

"I not very good at talking to guys as I'm always worrying about what they will say or do when they find out I'm trans. You already know and haven't run away or, worse still, called me a freak or beaten me up so I'm comfortable in flirting with you."

She looked worried.

"Am I coming on too strong?"

I was gobsmacked. She was flirting with me? Well, yes, of course she was... but... with me? Why?

"Umm... maybe a bit too strong... after all I'm older than you and we old farts used to have different rules compared to the free-and-easy way youngsters hook up today."

She looked puzzled.

"Err... you may be older but you are not old... like really old... are you? Like over 30?"

I could see the grin playing in her eyes and decided to play along.

"Careful young lady or I'll start behaving like your Dad even more and put you over my knee and give your arse a good tanning!"

Her eyes opened in mock-horror but then she grinned to spoil the effect.

"You shouldn't make statements like that because, for all you know, I might like a bit of BDSM and keep on being a brat until you do... put me over your knee, that is."

I decided to fight fire with fire and tried to make my grin evil and lascivious.

"And do you? Like a bit of BDSM because I love it? A bit of corporal punishment gets my motor running... it's why my first wife left me... she couldn't stand the pain... her arse was so sore that she couldn't sit down and that was only after I untied her from the restraints."

A fleeting look of panic passed across her face and I decided to keep her off balance and made my voice even harsher but at a low volume, in case any of the other people in the vicinity could hear me.

"Well, do you? Are you a little submissive slut who likes to be tied up and physically abused?"

The look of panic got even more pronounced and she shifted back in her seat to get further away from me. She timidly shook her head and her own voice was so quiet I could hardly hear her.

"No... I... never have done anything like that... and am not sure I want to."

She kept looking at me, trying to gauge if I was joking but I kept what I hoped was an appropriate 'Dom' expression on my face. She licked her lips nervously.

"Do you really... umm... did you do stuff to your ex-wife like that... I don't... you won't...!"

She looked like she was going to burst into tears and I couldn't maintain the facade and cracked up laughing.

"No, you noodle! Of course I don't like BDSM. My ex-wife left me because she was bored with me but, who knows, maybe if I'd tried some BDSM she might have hung around. Trust me, your arse is safe with me."

Georgie's face had undergone a transformation as my words hit home; from a smile of relief to a grimace of annoyance that she'd fallen for my story but the last expression was one that I had difficulty in reading, it almost looked like disappointment.

Chapter 15

We decided to move the conversation on to the real reason why we were meeting, my offer to become her dance partner. I asked her not to interrupt while I was trying to put my thoughts into words. Once again I had prepared what I was going to say but ended up winging it.

"Look Georgie, can we clear a few things up. I did not reject you at the start because you are trans and I'm not doing this now because I pity you or your plight as a trans person. The reasons I didn't say yes right away are still valid. I'm effectively self-employed and if I spend too much time doing non-work things then my income suffers and we both need to recognise that I might not be able to commit to a schedule that you want or think is necessary. In short I don't want you to give me grief if I have to say 'no' every now again."

I paused at that point to see if she wanted to interject but she grinned and made a zipping motion across her lips.

"Brat!"

She giggled. A sound that I was coming to like.

"The other reason I didn't say yes was because I didn't think I was good enough to be your partner. I was flattered that you asked but given how we started off, I was unsure if you would still think want me as your partner if I did not progress at a pace that was necessary for your plan to reach the World's next year... "

I smiled and looked expectantly at her but she made the zipping motion again. I shook my head in mock exasperation.

"So, I decided to go and have a two-week crash course to get me up to a level that hopefully will please you and enable us to make quicker progress."

Georgie looked at me with mouth agape in surprise.

"You did that... for me? But why? I've been a bitch to you. What about your work and income? OMG! Oh fuck! You silly man... I'm a such a horrible person. Why? Why would you do that? Oh God... come here I need a hug... I'm going to cry again!"

She got up and came around to my side of the table as I part stood up but she pushed me down and sat side-saddle on my lap and my arms automatically went round her waist. She put her face very close to mine and stroked my cheek with one hand while the other played with the hair at the back of my neck.. Georgie's eyes were brimming with tears as she searched my face before leaning in and planting her lips very firmly on mine.

If that first semi-kiss was doubtful in the Kiss Police code then this one definitely was against the law. Her tongue flicked suggestively against my closed mouth until I relented and opened my lips until our tongues slid against each other and our hands clasped tightly against each other.

I was lost in the passion of the surprising event but became conscious that we were in a pub and that some landlords do not appreciate overt displays of affection. I put my hands up to push her gently away and she looked at me with disappointment.

"Why did you stop?"

Then a look of panic and worry passed over her face before being replaced by a knowing looked suffused with anger.

"Oh fuck... you didn't want to kiss a tranny in public... oh fuck... I'm sorry. I'll go."

She went to stand up and I grabbed her arm to stop her and she tried to shake it off. I looked around hoping that nobody had noticed either the kiss or the subsequent outburst. Fortunately we were away from the bar area so the staff could not see us and there were only a few other customers in our part of the pub. I still tried to keep my voice down as I hissed at her.

"Georgie! Shut the fuck up! Will you stop this shit about my assumed transphobia!"

She looked at me petulantly and shrugged, whatever!

"That stuff is all in your head. I have to say that I just enjoyed an unexpected but entirely welcome kiss with an attractive girl... which at my old-fart stage of life does not happen very often. It would have been in my best interests to keep it going but the unfortunate thing is we are in a public house with other patrons and the landlord would probably have ejected us even if we had been... umm... Harry and Meghan doing it."

She still looked emotional although I could not tell if it was anger or embarrassment so I pulled her arm and she sat back down on my lap. I put my arms back around her and she leaned her head against my shoulder and whispered to me.

"Sorry, Jason. I keep getting it wrong. I'm sorry I jumped on you for the kiss but I was so happy that you had lessons... that you were so considerate about me... you deserved a kiss. I'm sorry I didn't think where we are."

She lifted her head and looked at me seriously.

"I know we are all defined by who we are... we are the children of our parents, the husband or wife of our partners, the mother or father of our children, our jobs, our height, weight, the house we own, the car we drive..."

She looked wistfully away before meeting my gaze.

"But I can't get past being defined as a Male-to-female transgender person in my own head. All the rest of my accomplishments or physical definitions... being a good dancer... being tall... hopefully getting a degree... being a good daughter. All of that means nothing by comparison with being trans.

The tears that had pooled in her eyes started to trickle down her face. I pulled her tighter.

"I can understand that. You took a momentous decision when you were very young. May I ask you something about that decision?"