Dancing in the Dark Pt. 03

Georgie nodded and looked embarrassed.

"Yes, ever since that night you were drunk and fell on top of me. You made me feel that you cared about helping me and I knew it had to be the truth... In vino veritas and all that. Most conversations with drunken blokes have been anything but positive... freak... faggot... tranny... and they are the nicer ones. Not you though, you were so positive, so kind, so... you! I'd just had a horrible conversation with a guy who I thought was going to be 'the one' but decided that the fact that his mates called him gay for dating a trans girl was more important than the fact he actually liked me. I went home and told Mum all about meeting you and I was so positive about it that I said something like 'in marry, snog, avoid he is so far into the marry category that the bookmakers can stop taking bets'. To which she implied that perhaps I shouldn't get too carried away as undoubtedly at least one woman, i.e. your ex, didn't think you were so perfect. I wasn't having any of it and we had a bit of bust up over it... she said you were too old for me... and it went downhill from there!"

She paused at this point and reflected.

"The bitch, the conniving bitch... perhaps she was going to make a play for you and didn't want me butting in."

She looked angry but then collected herself and carried on.

"Anyway, I said I wanted you as my dance partner as a way to get you into my life to start with and would call you the next day. I did... several times... and left voicemails for you... but you never got back to me. Mum was doing the 'I told you so' bit but in a comforting way but I started to get very depressed because my faith in you as the perfect guy was shattered..."

She looked away and the looked back at me with a disconsolate expression and I could see tears starting to form in her eyes. I hugged her and gently kissed her eyes, by this time not caring about the landlord chucking us out. She hugged me tighter and buried her head into my chest and we sat like that for several minutes as I nuzzled her long blonde hair. Eventually she lifted her head and looked at me with a small smile.

"See, I was right the first time. You are a pretty special guy to risk getting chucked out of a pub over too much PDA with a trans-girl."

I gently kissed her forehead and

"Not just any-old trans-girl... you! I don't do this with all the other trans-girls I know."

She looked serious for a moment.

"Do you... err... know any other trans-girls? You are just so cool about me that I wouldn't be surprised to find you counselling the whole of the LGBT community in the town."

I grinned and shook my head.

"No, sweetie, you are more than enough hard work for me, I don't need any more aggro. I guess that make you my favourite trans-girl."

She snorted in faux anger at my initial comment but then preened herself when I called her my favourite. I felt we had the conversation to a natural point to raise something that concerned me. I looked at her happy smiling face and knew that I had to go back to a darker point in her life, one with potential implications for the future. I grabbed hold of both of her hands and looked into her eyes.

Chapter 19

"Georgie, your mum said that you started to self-harm when you felt that I had let you down. I need to know that you are in a better place now but also I need you to think about what happens if you and I... err... have a relationship that tanks at some point in the future. Not everything in a relationship is a bed of roses... couples do fight... have disagreements... and eventually some couples do fall out of love and I don't want to find myself... ourselves... remaining in a failing relationship because I'm afraid of what you might do if it ends."

Georgie looked embarrassed and then laughed self-consciously before pausing as she thought of how to phrase her response.

"Jason, I can't promise I will never be depressed about our relationship if it is not going well. Yes, I was upset and I did do some silly things but that was more to do with me trying to show to myself that I had actually grown up a bit. I used to do stuff to myself when I was younger to get attention from my father... Mum was always there for me but Dad had pretty much washed his hands of me when I persevered with wanting to transition. I went to lots of counsellors just so I could say to him that I hadn't changed my mind even after the counselling. Well, as Mum has probably told you, he left when I was 13 when he realised that the die was already cast and I was going through with it. His decision to leave was as much to do with the fact that Mum was on-board with it and supportive.

"I was having puberty blocker drugs and hormone treatment but unfortunately I didn't start the drugs early enough and had started to produce some testosterone, which has made me taller than I otherwise would have been and given me a bigger penis and testicles than I might otherwise have had."

She giggled.

"I know I said I was small which is why you couldn't feel me but the truth is I have a near normal size cock which requires tucking back if I wear certain clothes like the jeans I'm wearing now. They're a woman's fit so no room for a cock and balls so, as I said, It's bloody painful if I do get an erection which has been happening a lot around you, especially when you do romantic and loving shit. So stop being perfect because it hurts!"

She laughed and I held my hands up in surrender.

"Hey, now that I know I'll not do any romantic and loving shit! I'll just be the real bastard that I am underneath."

She grinned and shook her head and wagged a finger at me as she continued to

"Nuh uh! That's not you and don't try to fool me that it is. Anyway, having full gender reassignment surgery is expensive so I have held off which is why I still have all my bits. I can have an Orchiectomy to remove my testicles which will make it slightly easier to strap my penis back and also remove the source of testosterone and thus I can cut back on some of the drugs... anyway you distracted me... I was talking about self-harming and hadn't answered your question.

"So... back then... self-harming was an attention seeking thing which I grew out of once I had started down the transition route. This time I only did it twice and it was more to see what all the fuss was about and did it make me feel better... pathetic I know but it was a good experiment because I realised that there was absolutely no benefit to me at all. I did it to my thighs so Mum wouldn't see it so it was definitely not to get attention. Unfortunately I wore a pale coloured dress after the second time and some blood stained it which Mum noticed. Cue one excruciating conversation about did I need to talk to the Samaritans etc. etc. and me trying to convince her that it was meaningless. She said something about letting you know how serious the situation was and I pleaded with her not to embarrass me in front of you... God I would have died if she had done what she said she was going to do which was to bring you round to the house so you could see the damage you were causing by refusing to be my dance partner.

"Anyway, I started going on about how you were more important than just a dance partner and I would sort it in my own way... I was planning on lying in wait for you outside your flat but she said not to do that because it would make me look desperate and perhaps a bit of a bunny boiler. She eventually convinced me to wait until after my surgeries when I could flaunt some cleavage at you and wouldn't look like a panda from the nose job... and then you rang me out of the blue and here we are... and I couldn't be happier, panda eyes or not!"

So Wendy had known that Georgie wanted more than a dance partner when she came to visit that evening.

Did she pimp her daughter to me?

Possibly, but do I care?

Chapter 20

The conversation relaxed a bit and it became much more like a first date as we started to find out more about each other's world view (surprisingly close political alignment but very different views on Tom Cruise as an actor) and it became a much more relaxed and fun evening, helped by a couple more jars of Old Socks.

We got talking about my training with her mum and Georgie said that she needed to see what I had learnt and how much I had improved. Maybe it was the effect of 3 pints of beer but I felt sufficiently emboldened to suggest we go out to her mum's house so I could show her in the studio attached to the house. She, also emboldened by beer, readily agreed and we left the pub, arm in arm, making our way to the taxi rank. In doing so we passed the local kebab van and I realised that I was hungry. I had not had dinner as I had thought that if things went well, we would go for a meal somewhere but now definitely needed some calories in me if I were to shine in my dance audition. I hesitated as we passed as I felt that a liking for a kebab might make me too shallow in Georgie's eyes. Fortunately she is just as shallow when it comes to post-pub nosh and tipsily dragged me across the street to the van.

"Come on you old fart, lets have a kebab. Nothing like a Doner after 4 pints of Old Socks."

"Hey, less of the fart references if you don't mind. The epithet 'Old' I can cope with as it is true in your case but I will have you know that my inner workings are surprisingly gas free, although who knows what 3 pints, not 4, and a Doner will do to me in the morning."

"Shotgun the bathroom first in the morning if it is going to be a radiation hotspot. I Have a spare toothbrush for you by the way?"

This was said with a cheeky grin but with an underlying trace of nervousness. I turned towards her and wrapped my arms round her trim waist and put on a mock scowl as I shook my head reproachfully.

"Oh, so you are expecting me to stay the night on our first date? Bit forward don't you think? I might think that you put out on said first date and take liberties with your body and then broadcast the fact to the world. That would not be good for your reputation. What would your mother say if she heard about it and realised that her daughter was a bit of a floozy... especially if I'm sitting across the breakfast table in the morning?"

Georgie could not work out if I was being serious or not but then decided I was joking and that she could take a few more liberties. She squirmed a bit in my embrace making sure that my cock got the full force of her pelvic gyrations. Her grin was getting broader by the second as my treacherous body responded.

"Well, you're the first guy I've ever said that to. I guess I trust you not to deflower me without my consent and anyway a gentleman does not kiss and tell."

I wiggled my eyebrows in lascivious comment.

"Who said I was a gentleman?"

She grinned again and shook her head emphatically.

"You are such a gentleman! It's one of the things I love about you."

The 'L' word!

Suddenly I realised how deep I was becoming immersed in her future fantasy as I stared into those beautiful, laughter-filled pale-blue eyes.

But was it a fantasy? I'm stood here with an erection the size of the Eiffel tower as this sexy trans-girl rubs herself against me. She has already said she wants me to take her virginity and develop a long-term relationship... my musings were interrupted by a voice from the couple next to us in the queue for the kebab van.

"Hey, it's... err... Georgie isn't it?"

We both looked up at the pretty dark-haired girl who was staring intently at Georgie. I felt Georgie tense in my arms at the sound of the voice.

"Umm... yes... I'm sorry... who... "

"Sophie... I'm Sophie... we... err... danced together when we were younger... you know... before... umm... well... before you changed. I saw those articles about you in Dancing Times... you were very brave to put it out there and I know there was a lot of negativity. Umm... have you done much dancing since... I heard you were having difficulty getting a partner?"

Georgie had been gradually relaxing in my arms but the rather snide tone to Sophie's comment about the difficulty of getting a partner rather put both our hackles up and she tensed up.

"Yeah, hi Sophie... long time since then. Lots has happened... yeah... dancing... I'm just starting back into the comps... this is my new partner Jason... both on an off the dance-floor."

She said this to Sophie while looking at me, daring me to say something different. Feeling the need to positively reinforce her I put my right arm around her shoulder and pulled her right hand up into the approximate position for a Viennese Waltz and mouthed 'Fleckerl'I at her. Georgie was stunned at first but then grinned as she realised what I wanted to do and immediately leant back into the hold and tilted her head to the side as we started to rotate. The Fleckerl is a move where the couple rotate in situ with intricate foot steps and we quickly got into the rhythm and Georgie's smile could have lit up a small town. I was going to do the Contra Check where you reverse direction but that proved too much and it ended with Georgie standing on my foot and we both broke down laughing at the irony of that as I mouthed 'uncoordinated incompetent twat' at her. She leaned forward and kissed me passionately and Sophie and the rest of the world were forgotten as we melded into one, our tongues and lips devouring each other. Eventually we broke breathlessly apart and she mouthed 'thank you, I love you' as our gazes remained locked.

The 'L' word again.

The sound of Sophie clearing her throat brought us back to the present.

"Well you certainly looked like you found someone who knows what he's doing. As it happens I'm looking for a new partner as Marius is going back to Latvia... we've won some regionals and got to the Nationals for the last two years. So... Jason is it?... if you ever feel like she's holding you back... or you just feel like dancing with a real woman... What the Fuck!"

The sound of Georgie's palm meeting Sophie's cheek had echoed around the empty streets and then I heard the sound of running feet. I looked at Sophie who was holding her face and moving her jaw to make sure it was still working. I shook my head in disgust at her.

"You're a nasty fucking bitch. I wouldn't dance with you if you were the last person on earth."

She snorted contemptuously as I turned away in the direction that Georgie had fled.

"Go on after the freak, she should be banned from all the comps and you, you faggot!"

I turned back towards Sophie and felt like slapping her even harder than Georgie had.

"We will compete and we will wipe your skanky arse all over the floor."

Chapter 21

I caught up with Georgie sitting at a bus stop as she sobbed her heart out. I sat down beside her and opened my arms so she could slide onto my lap and I enfolded her into a hug and held her until the emotional storm passed.

"Hey, sweetie, It's OK, let it go, she unimportant other than to give us a target to aim at. We measure our progress in how far ahead in the scoring we are."

She lifted her head to look at me and I reached for my handkerchief to clear up the worst of the damage to her makeup and then she blew her nose noisily several times. I kissed each eye and then her nose.

"There you are, gorgeous again. Now I want to see a smile... no a better one than that... that's better... wasn't so difficult was it."

Her voice was ragged from the crying as she dropped her head onto my shoulder.

"No, Daddy."

Whoa! Daddy?

I lifted her head.

"What's that about, the 'daddy' bit? That might be a bit creepy for me."

She was still a bit dazed but gave a small shrug and a faint smile.

"I always feel very down after confrontations like that but I feel very loved with you holding me like this. Like I'm a small child with their father..."

"Ahh... OK... well so long as that's it."

I realised that I might have over-reacted a bit. So tried to make a joke out of it."

"I'm not sure I should be playing the 'daddy' role if I'm going to take your virginity."

She grinned shyly.

"Well it is also a porno thing with trans girls often referring to their 'top' as Daddy. However it does appear in other genres such as white girls with black lovers..."

She trailed off as she realised that it was probably TMI and I looked quizzically at her.

"Watch much porn then, do you?"

She cleared her throat nervously.

"Umm... maybe. Don't tell me that you don't. I can't believe that a bloke on his own would never have wandered into the shadier areas of the internet."

I bristled in faux indignation.

"How very dare you! I'll have you know that I have no idea how to get onto Pornhub... oops!"

She giggled and looked at me with emotion filled eyes before kissing me gently.

"Thank you Jason, for being you but most of all for the little dance routine. You certainly have come a long way if you can get into a Fleckerl just like that. Sorry your partner let you down when you tried to do the Contra Check but I obviously need some lessons to catch up with you, if we are going to wipe the floor with Sophie... and all the others."

"I can recommend a good teacher... Wendy has said that she wants to be our coach and I'm happy with that... if you are?"

She nodded positively but then her expression turned serious.

"Just so long as she doesn't make a play for you! I'm not talking about her dumping Sam but she could get back into competition with you. You do realise that there will be a lot of women dancers who are dissatisfied with their current partner who will see you as prospective alternative. I'll have to fight them off with a stick... if you turn out be any good, that is!"

She giggled as I scowled at her.

"How can you doubt the Fleckerl king?"

"Excuse me, but one dance move does not make you a dancer. How is your Box Step or Pivot Turn? We'll find out soon enough, there's a taxi over on the rank."

I shrugged nonchalantly but deep down knew that I had not mastered the Pivot Turn particularly well so far.

"Let's get on the studio floor and you can find out... if you turn out to be any good yourself, that is!

She screwed up her nose and stuck her tongue out at me which I found adorable, so I pulled her towards me kissed her tenderly. Georgie smiled up at me as we broke apart and I lost another bit of my soul to that wonderful sight. We held hands as we walked over to the taxi and continued to hold them in the taxi on the way out to Wendy's house. We did talk about dancing but mostly just smiled at each other and I prided myself on achieving what I had set out to do; get her to smile more.

However, as we neared Wendy's house, Georgie seemed to become more withdrawn as something started to worry her. She asked the taxi driver to drop us at the end of the road which surprised me slightly and I was even more surprised when she suggested we climb over the low wall at the side of the house, nearest the studio. The lights were on in the main house but very little got to the studio, and we stumbled a few times although Georgie seemed to know the way in the dark.

"Umm, Georgie, why are we not going in through the front door? This is more like you trying to sneak a lover into your bedroom than a perfectly legitimate dance practice."

She put her fingers up to her mouth.

"Shh, I don't want them to hear us. If they know we're here and what we are doing they will want to come and watch and make comments and start teaching and..."

She trailed off and looked around. Even in the darkness I could sense her nervousness.

"I just want to dance with you... even if we turn out to not be compatible or I'm rubbish and you are shit... I just want you to hold me in your arms and move around the floor and pretend we can make it."