All Comments on 'Dancing Lessons'

A story seemingly custom designed to peruse when one of those ' real housewife ' reality show hits a slow patch.

What is it about that introduction that seems like a good idea? Yes, you do need an editor, and the fact that you don't get one just speaks volumes about what sort of writer you are. This is writing for the unibrow set.

Everything after that was just more of the same. Too many names thrown in machine gun style. Too flat and unemotional, too many flashbacks that took place without any markings. Just too uninteresting to finish.

if you can't get that right, how the hell can we expect you to get anything else right?

Man, got to say I love your style! As for the price of the house, well, that just depends on the market, don't it? Like I told you some time back, I know some of your characters. I've got a family of coon asses live across the road out here. So, you write about folks and their messy lives. Ice Heart.....Breaking the Family....Inferno....Who's this......those are stories, I'll tell you!

Some of your stories ain't my cup of tea.....but that's okay. The Vietnamese woman in Ice Heart was great! So, keep doing your thing.....I'll read the straight stuff.....waiting on another episode of the House of Mei! Thanks for your efforts.

very well done.

thank you

It seemed very awkward and disjointed. Made it very difficult to follow.... So I stopped trying.

When the Preface lists all the reasons why I shouldn't bother reading, who am I to argue.

Bye!

Only one continuity item in the story. Her brother ran his plates to check him out BUT they were in her minivan.

I really enjoy your characters and style of writing. Keep them coming!

but started anyway. Couldn't make it all the way through the first page. There may be a good story in here but the reader has to work harder to read the story than the author did to write it.

The accent made it difficult to read. That's not intended as a comment that you shouldn't use it, but I did find it disrupted the flow as I attempted to translate the meaning. By the end I was doing okay.

The plot is a bit predictable, yeah.

What's with the kid named Mealy? Are they going to name another kid Chewy?

Another classic JimBob story and I think you were correct, you did not need an editor.

I went thru on the first read. Story held my interest. Thanks for writing

I had some problems with it...

You did skip around...

There were a lot of names right away...

(I kind of like the ... thing.)

Really it was only an OK story, but that wasn't your fault. I just finished reading Girl in the Moon's "A Rush of Blood to the Face". You've got to read it.

This was a five of course. A deserving five at that.

Jedd Clampett

As someone born and raised in the north, the accent and culture of Louisiana is a bit far from my own experience, but you do a fabulous job of drawing us into it.

Thanks for sharing.

...you did write a good story,yeah ?

More please.

Really enjoyed your story!

Three things.

1) I hope you don't get heartburn eating all that spicy food. It happens as you get older.

2) I hated it when they changed USL to ULL. It is almost as bad as when they changed NLU to ULM.

3) Hey, you got to be kidding. Archie Manning instead of Drew Bres.

She cheated, he left for a better life.

Thank you for writing stories that feel so real..... Not everyone is super model thin and the men don't all have 10 inch dicks, they are real with flaws like most of us have..... Mostly, thanks for no cucks or wimps, just people trying to live right and happily.... 5*****

Gave it a 5 easy for how much fun this was!

Jacqueline seemed shallow but, hey, some people are!

Loved Bubbles!!!

I do wish he would have messed up Brian

I didn't catch the Cajun accent and locale for a few paragraphs. Authentic and well done. Of course, all Cajuns can cook, and grease is a very good food and makes everything taste better.

...you just want to relax with friends. That's sort of what this story was like. 5*

Sort of warm this was. 5 and thank you.

He did BTB of an Ex-wife IMO. She's old and alone, while he's got a new wife and a new life with Bubbles. His kids love her and her kids love him, he even gets back in touch with his own culture as an added bonus. Hell he even learned to dance!

What more could he want

Grant

Thanks for sharing.

Very entertaining read. Thanks for sharing.

Sounded like real people, I appreciate your work

Chilley

An enjoyable story that came out just right.

Sometimes the best way to BTB is to have a wonderful life while the cheating ex is as miserable as miserable can be. Excellent!

Five Stars

I have never understood why so many stories portray it as some kind of victory when the guy marries the wife of the man who cuckolded him. I can't think of a worse outcome. To be reminded every day that you were cheated on, to know that she was in love with and shared the bed of the man you despise for years, to have kids and a shared history with him. Yet half the authors on this site think it is a great outcome. I bet no one has ever heard of it happening in real life, because it is the last thing any real man would want.

eww. just eewww

They are written about people who might be people I know, allowing for the fact that I don't live in Louisiana. And they tend to be perfectly ordinary people who don't see much point in complicated revenge plots, but just think moving on with their lives is the best way to deal with a problem. Nice work

She came out juicy since the flavor was sealed in! Truly learning to dance would have improved my life. I once had a girl friend who I called TOF (Tons of fun) and she was very beautiful, but could not accept my nickname for her. Great Story.

He's done pretty damn good since taking the reins as QB.

Awe yea, che'. Dis is de best yet. All us coon-asses lovin it when one of our own done been immortalized in de word. From here in Bayouland, mei wie. De Cafe DeMond do the donuts right, yea.

Who talks like that? Even in Canada, they don't say, "Eh?" all the time. You used, "Yeah" all the time. Get a better editor...

A hot ham sandwich over a fried oyster poh boy?please! *lol*...fun story, a good late night read.

But accronyms always get me stumped. What the heck is BTB and SE ?

Was a damn fine QB but c'mon even yo coon ass gotta know dat Brees is the best thing to happen in New Orleans since the invention of a the river boat. Wish Bubbles would have burned her ex a little more....but a life well lived yeah

Those parts were kinda difficult to read, it is not without reason that excessive use of informal speech is generally considered bad writing.

Had to read thinking in a Louisiana Cajun accent. Once I did that all was well.

I haven't read all of your stories yet, but I enjoy your take on your characters. It is very nice not to have to watch a BTB that is driven by a hurt and angry former spouse, but rather to see a self-destruction with a gentle musical background. Some women just can't examine their own life and see how good they have it.

I stumbled for a moment when you introduced Cajun but quickly caught on. (I served with some Cajuns in the Army and you brought back some beautiful and some wild memories.) You handled the introduction of the patois delightfully, especially when he had to re-adjust his speech pattern for his workplace.

Contrary to being annoying, I think it is fun and makes your stories stand out. Plus, it makes me think of the chef Justin Wilson I used to watch on TV when I was young. Love, love that accent!! "I garontee".

I liked "hearing" him slip back into the speech pattern of his youth. His moments of self discovery were fun to watch.

Let's hope he avoids slipping back into patterns of OCD.

fwiw: there are non-latex condoms. lol

slow, slow, quick, quick

I actually found myself reading this in a Cajun accent.

I was doing the same best I remember.

A short, fat, neon-redhead with an accent that would make you want to stab her in the face. So NOT sexy.

And I love that chicory-flavored accent, yeah!

As a man who loves a 'full figured' woman, I've gotta tell all of Michelle's haters that you 'doan know what you be missin', yeah!'

Hope your hiatus is not too long, enjoying your stuff!

Da kno dat ain’t so bad. Da luv da story.

I read these stories for a diversion and to be entertained. I actually smiled as I read your delightful story. Thank you. Awww!

Samson

I have to say, this was an enjoyable read. He wasn’t an ex navy seal, army ranger, green beret or cia wet work guy. He was a regular guy who just couldn’t understand why she did what she did. Instead of going all ninja at her, he left her, kinda made sure the kids would know just what a shrew she had become ( or actually was but didn’t show that face to the kids ) and that he was not the bad guy. He didn’t seek out the other guys ex, they just kinda fell together. He didn’t go out of his way to antagonize anyone, he made some self improvement and moved on. Could he or should he have tried dancing lessons before? Maybe, but personally I don’t believe it would have made a difference in the greater scheme of things. Not once did Jacqueline say she was sorry. And that tome says it all!

I'm not a regular fan Of JimBob stories.

But this one is absolutely brilliant!

Not really well written and a few

other faults.

But plot, dialect (though unknown to me)

and humour excellent!

Top ratings from me.

This is good, very good, but came up short for me - it missed the BTB (Burn-the-Bastard). Brian is a total slim ball not giving a real rip about his family - a sexual predator. He named names not caring about tearing down other families (if Jack would have spilled) of other married women teachers he had seduced. I was expecting Bubbles six brothers (w/Cop) would insure Brain got some severe justice - this is a side-plot that should have been in this story.,aka Brian the eunuch or new wife for Bubba in the cross-bar hotel.

Jacqueline may have hormone/psych problems but per the story you can see that Jack was never good enough. And I highly doubted that Jacq did not hear rumors in the teachers lunge about Brain, she just waited her turn. She was always about HER - a material/status woman, Jack would never please. Jacqueline was mentally cheating on Jack before the marriage or just after their kids were born.

Jack needs to help Bubbles loose some weight so she will always be there for there kids - the ballroom dancing is a pleasant start. And keep Brain away from Bubbles kids, as morally corrupt as the bastard is you do not want him being an influence to them. Jack is a real role model - maybe a little boring but stand-up guy.

Lousy naming of characters; you just got lazy? Can't keep the action linear, without jumping around? Too bad. Quit on p2.

Neither Jack nor Michelle needed to burn the bitch/bastard, they got the ultimate revenge, living well.

Humorous and well written. Had a good laugh and enjoyed the dialect, yeah! The ex was an awful shrew and he was well rid of her. 5*s.

There are several jibes at Jaquie's weight - her flabby bum and body and saggy tits, but at 4' 11" and 170lb Michelle is only 45-50 overweight? Sorry, try about 70lb, my mother is 4' 11" and has always struggled so it struck a chord with me. The only conclusion is that the narrator is actually Jack and as it is obvious Jack likes bigger women, why such a focus on the weight?

Maybe it's my maths, but I make Jack 48 at the start of the dance lessons, making Michelle 24, meaning she was 23 when Brian was 31, so why the big deal over age differences, she obviously likes older men?

Considering he professes to have loved her, he didn't fight very hard for her. No, I don't agree to your date, I'm going anyway, fine I'm moving out; add to that how he reacted to Brian's explanation of how and why and it just sounds like someone looking for an excuse or at least not bothered about the end of the relationship. I would have thought given what a slime ball Brian was about how he treated married women and the woman Jack was professing to fall in love with the very least he would have called him all the names under the sun.

And you shattered my image of Michelle (and her family) with the line about her freckles... :)

The story ended on the first page, the rest is just dragging on like a bad chewing gum. Poor writing.

When you read about the American revolution you suspect there's going to be a new country independent of England. Does that ruin reading any further?

Romance is really a form of mystery. Will they get together? Almost certainly. But with all those obstacles are we sure? It's how you tell the story. And for me, in addition to the personalities of the characters the use of Cajun patois delighted me, yeah. After reading all the Dave Robicheaux stories the patois is like a musical accompaniment to me.

trying to get lean and a new life, TK U MLJ LV NV

Enjoy the Cajun talking and cooking

Awchee!

I think they're great. I keep one in my glove box, in case my old pickup breaks down!

....and idioms, colloquialism, atmosphere and food descriptions.

I had to read much slower to absorb and understand it all but I loved it.

The phrase "local color" does not do justice to what this author achieves.

I could hear these (strange to me) voices in my head. I now really want to try a po' boy.

I just thoroughly enjoyed the atmosphere and the story line.

Jack was not an A-hole but he stuck to his guns and ditched his ungrateful wife.

Only complaint. Jack's family never completely described and we learn about his children in dribs and drabs. At first I wasn't sure who this character was upon their entrance into the story.

Michelle's family is introduced at the outset.

But that is a minor quibble. I really liked how well thelocal color was captured.

Thanks.

This was not really a BTB but very enjoyable none the less. Thanks for writing it.

Well done. The author's style is unique, and the story was balanced. The husband used his head in dealing with his cheating wife. The wife was always blaming others for the problems in her life she created herself. That's why she was so easily seduced. The husband's new love interest was a sweet character. I mean this in the most positive way when I say this is a cute story. *****

You think your imaginary name Chewy is farfetched? Many years ago, a young Latino guy who helped load (at some pick-up point I've forgotten, but south from here) the semi truck I was driving was named Chewy. Struck me so odd, out of many names at many pick-ups and deliveries, may be the only one I remember.

Anyway, there have been other southern names that sound peculiar to northern ears -- I would guess moreso in Cajun Louisiana.

You did get that Mealy is nickname for Amelia?

JimBob, how can I get your stories read when I keep getting interrupted? Like when Jack told that whopper to coworker Jill about doing nude modeling (at 50? years old?!!) at art class at U.L.D., and I have to stop to laugh. When I'm through laughing (I think), the next morning Jack's lady coworkers are averting eyes or blushing (imagining him nude, modeling) -- and I have to interrupt reading to laugh some more. At least, when I was left smiling and chuckling after the end, that was not an interruption.

Paul in Oklahoma

PS. Thanks for brightening the start to my day.

Oh, yeah, piss pour grammar.

Visit Cajun country, dumbass, and even you will be able to figure out the "yeah". Oh, also, even us backward southerners know that " pour" the adjective is spelled "poor"!

Another great one from JB44. One of the best BTBs possible. Just let them know they're history and you don't care.

When you complain about grammar, it’s best not to make any spelling mistakes in your own post.

Nice story JB. I’ll admit the dialects in your stories were kind of difficult to get used to at first, but once I got used to it, it made the stories even better.

I found the dialect fun!! I am not a Southerner but also enjoyed Twain, and Faulkner's dialect's, they are difacult but good reads, you have to think to understand what is being said. That is also a draw of Shakespeare difacult to read. Now this work is not up to their stander by a long way but was a fun read.

Great story favorite and enjoyed.

Nuff said

I’m a BTB man but I liked this story

Again, one of JB44's good ones. Pulled a stealth double play on Brian and Jaquline, and got Bubbles as a reward. All good.

This one is going to be a classic!

A spicy concoction, great work! And my Uncle was a Cajun, you nailed the dialect, yeah. Got to say, I really like this, me.

Excellent and fun to read. Love the Cajun accent.

Seems the more of your stories I read, the more 5 stars I give. It's probably just a coincidence....

I'm actually reading your stories with a Cajun accent. Takes a little longer but really gets the feeling in there.

As my now wife told me about my ex wife "the very best revenge truly is living well and being happy". Add in a splash of being a good dad and there’s a bonus of HER mother telling her what a good parent I am rofl.

Great story but...

... ever heard of Drew Brees

Cute story , thank you .

I loved this story. I have to tell a little story to explain why I gave it 5 stars. I was born in Orange Texas, but my Dad and all his siblings were born in Louisiana and spoke Louisiana French before they spoke English. When they went to public school if they spoke French they were punished so they would never teach us kids because the teachers had taught them it was a gutter language. But when my dad wanted to say something they didn't want us kids hear they would speak in French. When my dad was talking to anyone around my home town you could never hear any trace of a Cajun accent in his voice but when we went over to visit his cousins around St. Martinville, Catahoula or New Iberia his accent would get real heavy but he never did it on purpose it just became natural. Now when I go back to Texas to visit after 53 years in upstate NY everyone says I talk like a Yankee but after I have been down home, yes even though I was 17 when I left and have lived up her for 53 years it's still home, but after a few weeks there and I come back north everyone ask me why I'm talking with a Texas accent. It's just this story with Jack slipping back into some French terms and accents that reminded me of a simpler time in my life, and how easy we transition to what is natural.

Way to go Jim Bob! George Herbert said that living well is the best revenge. Bien fait!

This guy never misses.

MOMINER64METE, really? Coon ass?? Fuck, grow up and get a grip. You sound like you have some severe mental issues and really should get a friend to explain the stories to you in a way that you'll understand.

Cajun? Ebonics? English is english. I'm not really a grammar snob, but I couldn't get past the distraction.

Can't stop with just one JimBob story. This is another stupid cheating wife losing everything. Perfect.

Loved the patois. Really gave the characters deeper personality.

Nice story, well told. Let it be known im a Yankee and am not fluent in Cajun French, yet i loved the change in dialog, creative and smart. Clever story line and i must say, thank you, y'all.

Good romance.

Not so sure about the patois - but you can't please all of the people all of the time. I did love the pace of the story and the simple plotting, very enjoyable.

Damn I like dis persons writing ! yeah

If you know the generic problems of your writing, you should work on correcting them instead of being an arrogant fuck, you know, for small things like cohesion and such...

Can honestly say at least there was no way in hell to feel sorry for Jacqueline, if she were to be wrecked with guilt, remorse, giving up on life. With how much of a bitch she was, it was easy to feel good about bye bye.

Well, from the comments I can see this is not everyone's cup of tea... Personally I like it a lot. Slowly reading through all authors stories... over 300 so taking a while but enjoying every one!

My problem with this story is similar to most of these: she cheats. He divorced her. The, out of "loving consideration,refuses to out her relatives and kids. Argues they shiuld respect mom because she's mom-totally marginalizing the kids feeling, concurrently tacitly giving quasi approval for cheating.

In real life he no longer whos her any consideration. As for the BS of "closure", hearing her side of it-total non-sense.

The why does not matter. He had two choices only. Be a cuck or be a man and move on. The hurt is real but does not need enhancement by sticking around.

Talking about changes nothing. She cheated. Period.

I liked this very much, he didn't put up with her shit, moved on and got back to being happy and found love again. GO JimBob44!