All Comments on 'Daniel Ch. 01'

What's with the changing name?

One important aspect of any writing is the correct use of words. Singular or plural, tense, homonyms - these things detract from what could be a great story. Find an editor - you have talent but need to learn control. Keep writing! I want to hear what happens in Dallas!

I like the way this is starting, and am looking

forward to seeing what is going to happen on the trip. Yeh, an editor would help, but I like it anyway. Keep it up. Thanks

Thanks for the comments and favorites guys! I'm sorry about the mix up. I've been juggling a few stories and I guess that's how it happened. If you can just think of all the Angels as Daniels. I'm so sorry. If anyone knows a good editor could you point him/her out to me. Thanks!

DiegoRomance :)

I agree with the others of how it was little confusing with the name changes but over all a GREAT start. I can't wait to read about what happenes on the trip with Dr. Andrews. I'm also excited to read about how the relationship builds with Anthony. Please don't keep us waiting to long for Ch.2.

when they introduced themselves they did by last names, they did not change their names

But I agree with the Anonymous comment on your grammar. It definitely needs working on! I didn't notice the Angel/Daniel switch, but that sort of mistake is something to watch out for. I know, I've done it myself in several of my stories, also mistakenly switched the names of the characters. An editor should pick this up, but another way to avoid it is not to be in too much of a rush to post a chapter. Keep re-reading it.

5 starts. Got me hooked. Can't waite for next installment !

I can't figure out who Angel is? Is that a co-worker of Daniel's? Or is Daniel's nickname Angel. Oh well, it is interesting to read, but distracting.

Good start for a sweet, heartwarming love story, please don't botch it up by having Dr Andrews seduce Daniel. Also you desperately need the aid of an editor too many distracting errors, the biggest being the name. Is he Angel or Daniel? Hope you post again soon, and more than just one chapter at a time.

anthony seems like a good guy. sleezy doc Andrews doesnt. we'll see what a receptionist does on a company trip

Love the story as it is thus far. Don't trust the Doctor. Love the hint of chest hair spilling from Anthony's uniform shirt. Bet he looks really sexy in those brown shorts the UPS guys wear in warm weather!