Dark Roots Ch. 06

Woe is Me, What a Terrible Deed

Age of Jared

First Heavenly Estate

Unlike humans who can only recall fragments of memories when they want to remember something from so long ago. I can remember what happened two hundred years ago with supernatural crystal clarity. My story begins in Heaven, in the realm of The Highest, the home of my former heavenly Father, YHWH.

I was conversing with a new class of angels The Highest named, guardian angels. He created them that day for a unique selection of humans to be born in coming generations. These select humans will be influential enough to change the world, as would their children and grandchildren. So The Lord saw to it that these revolutionaries should have his blessings upon their conception.

Humans think they are born with their own guardian angel. The truth is they are assigned angels whose humans have already passed on from this world, either from war, natural disasters and other horrible tragedies.

The new guardians looked nervous, but I tried my best to tell them that they would do a great job. It would not be an easy role to be guardian, as they would have to put up with a lot of sin, arrogance, and natural flaws from their assigned human. But if they managed to keep them on the right path, they would be crowned with more glory here than what they deserved. One of the guardians, God bless him, asked me if my own duties are challenging. I told them that as a watcher, it wasn't all about watching.

I said that my role and brothers and sisters were to shepherd the new human race multiplying on the Earth and lead them onto the right path. We were supposed to watch that they did not learn any unnecessary secrets from Heaven above or Earth below that may corrupt them and their endeavors. Heaven was our original home and this mission our rightful purpose.

Second Heavenly Estate

In the second sphere of Heaven, I ascended to where my brothers and sisters lived and reigned. The second sphere was like a second Earth, with more beauty that no master painter could ever duplicate on canvas even if they lived a thousand lifetimes. The Watchers gathered around a giant resplendent crystal sphere we used to watch the virgin human race go about their daily life on Earth.

"What's everyone watching? I thought we were all taking turns watching individually, not as an entire group." I spoke.

"Hepsibah! There you are. Come over here," one of my sisters called, waving me over to her.

"What are you all looking at," I asked anyone of my siblings who would answer me.

"Hepsibah, did you see the new humans Adam and Eve's children have produced?"

"Yes, I have. Humans are multiplying fast" I answered.

"I still can't believe why The Father would create such a beautiful creature for the first earth man. Do you think he created her because he is his first Earth-born son? Why have we, his very own sons, not received companions of our own?" one angel

"His name is Adam! Call him by his proper name!" I roared to Semyaza, who was the leader of the watchers.

"And Eve was created for him, from him, by The Father to be his helpmate. She is not yours, nor does she belong to anyone here."

"Always The Father's favorite bitch. You're always thinking you know better than the rest of us don't you? I'm not surprised, your name does mean 'she is my delight.' Why are you gathered with the rest of us if you're going to disapprove of our opinions?"

"Semyaza, what about Lilith? She's also a woman; she is single too. The last time we spotted her, she was by the red sea all by herself." another watcher told him.

"The earth woman? I rebuke her! She is nothing but a harlot who is mothering spirits and demons to other wandering rogue spirits right now as we speak. Besides, she's practically the same as the man of Earth. I would not lay with a man, not even if the highest commanded me to."

"But Lilith's beauty is also just as—"

"Enough! Do not mention that earth woman's name in my presence again! She may be beautiful, but her beauty is rotten like her soul. Eve's beauty is pure and innocent."

I forgot to mention that my proper name is Hepsibah, which, as Semyaza put it, means 'she is my delight.' The Lord most high has given all his creations a name. Our names hold power over us and hold power over our roles and stations.

"Thou shalt not covet another man's wife!" I yelled at them.

"Another man's wife you say?" Semyaza answered arrogantly.

"Yes, another man's wife. Eve is his wife, not yours! Now stop talking about her and saying things that are going to cause your fall from what little grace you have left."

"I don't care about falling anymore. Look at how Father made us! Look at how we look. We don't even look like one another; can you even call these faces attractive! Adam and Eve look a thousand times better than we do. We can only take human form when we go down there; otherwise, humans will cry out in horror. When we present ourselves to them, WE need to look like them. We can't even be ourselves in front of them."

"You should be content with what you have. Are you so bored with our Father that you are seeking to covet another man's wife? My only concern now is finding out what are you planning on doing?"

"Let me ask you a question, Hepsibah. Why do you look like that? Like a woman. Do you desire one of the sons down there? Has one caught your eye?" Semyaza asked me.

"No, it's because I admire this form, and I can relate to the daughters of man more than any of you. Please, I'm going to tell you this once. Don't do anything that will endanger or corrupt the children on Earth; that's all I'm asking you."

And so time had passed without much trouble and no actual severe incident for the next millennia. The daughters and sons of men multiplied on the Earth. I saw what my brothers saw and that the daughters of men were in fact, beautiful, almost as beautiful as their excellent grandmother Eve. But the sons themselves were beauties onto themselves. I use beauty in the sense that they were very masculine but beautiful because of it. They were far more attractive than the previous generation of men.

"Hepsibah! You need to come and see this!" shouted one of my sisters.

"What is it, Atarah?"

"Semyaza, that bastard actually did it!" She shouted, scared and panicking.

"Did what? What did he do? Tell me!"

"I think it's better if you see for yourself.

The Earth

Hepsibah and Atarah descended to the Earth on Mount Hermon and saw that her brothers had given themselves forbidden bodies. Her brother's heights ranged from nine to twelve feet tall. She saw them taking girls as young as sixteen by force and doing what they wished with them. Their fathers, brothers, and grandfathers, bless them, tried to force the giant men off their daughters, wives, and sisters, only for them to get maimed and murdered in front of their loved ones. She could not bear to see anymore and although she admired the men's bravery, their strength was pale compared to the power of her brothers.

The more she watched her brothers destroy humanity and allowing their half-breed abominations to subjugate mankind, the more her hatred grew for them. When their children were born, they were normal-sized. They looked like normal human infants, but with each passing day, they grew at an explosive rate. They towered over their parents by their first year. Some as tall as their fathers, others even more. They ate everything their parents gave them, try as they might to keep their bellies filled.

Then they began to eat all the animals they could hunt and trap. When the animals didn't quell their hunger, they turned on man. Despite the death and destruction, they brought on the Earth, the watchers were unwilling to raise their hands against their spawn. Instead, they taught men and women magic and how to manipulate the elements to protect themselves against their own bastards. From the watchers, men learned to forge weapons and armor and how enchant them to increase their striking and defensive powers.

While the men learned how to fight back against the out-of-control Nephilim, the watchers continued to whore, eat and drink themselves to inhuman levels that matched their sense of evil.

"I tried to help the humans. I tried killing the Nephilim bastards myself. But each time I targeted one of them, their fathers prevented me from damaging so much as a single hair on their heads. I had to bear witness to the death, rape, and corruption of the lives my former brothers and I were charged with watching over. Hope lingered as what remained of the human population began to pray together to the Lord for help.

I watched as Father dispatched the four most mighty archangels to pass judgment on the children of bastards and the reprobates. Uriel was sent to warn Noah of the coming flood and told to build his ark exactly how the Lord wanted it. Michael fought Semyaza and chained him upside down in the stars to watch as Gabriel caused the giants to kill each other. Raphael chained the worse of them all, Azazel, the one responsible for teaching men how to craft arms and armor to kill each other and cause war between kin. He also taught women how to cause abortions while the fetus was still inside of the womb. Raphael chained him inside a bottomless black pit, where he would never find comfort among the sharp jagged tooth-like rocks that will perpetually torment him until he and all my former brothers and sisters suffer in the lake of fire. The watchers watched in horror as their children and the women they used to bear their terrible bastards fell.

But if you think it was only my brothers that went astray, you would be mistaken. My sisters also went astray but not out of lust, but from curiosity. They took the youngest, most attractive men for bed partners only, not for husbands. The children my fallen sisters bore were not giants or nor did they become giants. Their children became today what humans call sorcerers, magicians, wizards, and witches. Where the nephilims excelled strength and speed and endurance, the Eliouds manipulated the weather and nature to fight against their cousins and against each other. For a time, it seemed like they would put an end to their savage cousins. They killed more of them then all the human combined.

With air they shredded their near impenetrable bodies. With fire they turned them to ash and with water they froze and shattered them. And then they began to compete amongst each other and then started to kill one another. They too were complete and miserable disappointments in the end, not that they should have existed in the first place.

As punishment, the highest changed my sisters into sirens for allowing themselves to taint their bodies and spirits. So out of spite, they flew around the skies masquerading as goddesses leading men away from The Father. Others lived on islands as false women, guiding mariners to their islands to eat and quell their hunger for the flesh of men.

When the flood came, I remembered the horrible sounds of crashing waves. Mountains ripped out of their foundations from the Earth. They hit against the lands of the world as the flood wreaked havoc in its path. All life on Earth drowned and buried beneath the waters. The souls of dead Nephilim could not descend further below the Earth. Prohibited from entering Heaven, the archangels sealed them beneath the pits of the Earth where they continue to exist as disembodied evil spirits, searching to corrupt man and woman alike.

When the waters receded, and life returned to normal. God erased the memory of the watchers and stripped all our former duties. Now guardian angels oversaw watching over the new generation of humans born to Noah and his wife and a few surviving humans who survived the flood hidden inside of mountains. Unlike my brothers and sisters, I also learned that the guardian angels could not give themselves entirely physical bodies but only partially materialize to intervene and save their humans. Shortly after, there was war in Heaven. Another compelling figure in Heaven, Father's first creation, rebelled against him and fell after a long-protracted war against the heavenly armies and Michael, prince of Father's armies. I stayed out of that mess and kept to myself in my heavenly mansion. The fall of my brethren impacted me more than it should have.

The Lord called me to speak to him. So, I did. I went to his majesty and humbled myself before him.

"My daughter, you truly are my delight. You kept yourself to me while your brothers and a small party of your sisters left their heavenly estate to unite their spirits with the flesh of humans. Out of lust, envy, or curiosity, your brothers and sisters damned themselves for all eternity. Please remember, daughter, that I will love you no matter what. Please do not disappoint me as my first son did."

"You mean Lucifer," I asked him.

"I promise you, father, to always remember where my real home and the love of my eternal life rests in."

That is what I told him. But it was not meant to be. My words became hollow as a shell when I saw a young Sumerian man of 20 years. His name was Hilimaz. He was working the fields of his Father's land. He stopped to rest and get a drink of water and then fell on his knees with hands clasped together in prayer.

"Oh, Goddess in Heaven, I pray to you to send me a wife that will be fit to bear me children so I can have a family of my own. My Father and mother worry that I will never find a suitable wife. Please answer my prayers, oh merciful Goddess."

How would I describe the appearance of this young man that caused me to fall for him. He was beautiful, not like a woman, nor like an angel either. His beauty came from his innocence, his way of speaking, and how he clanged to his belief. But most of all, it was his eyes that drew me in from the start. A passing air siren heard his prayer and began to transform into a beautiful goddess for him. But I, breaking my promise to The Lord, left my home and dealt a fatal blow to the siren. She fell towards the Earth like a falling star, and I, instead of her, gave myself the appearance of a goddess and presented myself to Hilimaz. He saw me and beheld me in all my glory. He fell to his knees and professed to me his faith in me.

Then I spoke, "I have heard your prayer, my son, but It is with a heavy heart that I must tell you that no woman in this world is worthy of your love, your adoration, and loyalty, none except for me."

"But you are a goddess, no good can come from a mortal laying with one of the immortal ones."

"You are correct, but I am willing to break divine law to be yours if you will have me."

He was apprehensive at first but relented. We began to date, even though there wasn't a word to describe that activity in that period. Amidio fell in love, I more than him. He became my entire world, the air that I didn't need to breathe. My complete thoughts became all about him and making him happy. Before we could consummate our marriage, Amidio died during a war between neighboring nations. Before he joined his brothers in arms, he promised me before dying; he would reincarnate and find me in this lifetime or the next one.

Every ten years, he would reincarnate into a new body. Sometimes he was a woman, but most of the time, he was a man. When he was a man, we would have sex to try and get me pregnant. I don't know why I didn't conceive then. I thought something was wrong with me. When my sisters fell and laid with men, they became pregnant immediately. Perhaps Father took this ability from me and never told me. But some force said that it would take several more attempts throughout different lifetimes before I could get pregnant.

When my beloved passed away, his guardian angel told the Lord everything I did with him, and so he called me back to Heaven to talk to him. I knew it was the last time I would be in the presence of the almighty, so I braced myself.

"How could you do this to me Hepsibah, you told me you knew where your true home and the love of your eternal love rested. Why have you chosen to abandon me?"

"Father, I don't know what to tell you. I have sinned against you. I have nothing to say except that I have fallen in love with one of your earthly creatures."

"You have given yourself a body, forbidden even before your brothers and sisters fell, and you used it to partake in the action that the daughters of men do to bear children. Suppose you love that man more than me, more than your own home. Then feel free to live amongst the children of men until the end times when I will personally have you and all the rebels punished and destroyed by my own hands. Leave my presence and never look up towards Heaven in supplication again. Your place will be on the Earth for now. And as you have correctly guessed, I did take away your ability to conceive. But now you will be able to, but you will only bare that man's child, and you will only bear one child for your entire immortal life. You will feel pain worse than what Eve felt after I expelled her and her husband from the garden. Your birthing pains will be like birthing one hundred children at the same time. But the pain, no matter how great, will not kill you but will kill your ability ever to conceive again. I will not make your time on the Earth easy. Because you desired flesh, so desire you will have for all your life. You will mate with all sorts of horrific creatures, both male and female. Now leave my sight!"

And so, I made my home in the lowest and last layer of Heaven, the clouds. From there, I watched out for my beloved, but this supernatural lust that the Lord had placed in me made being faithful to him impossible. I whored myself out to kings and queens, emperors, and empresses. To the common folks and to supernatural creatures, male and female. He did this to me to perpetually test my love and loyalty to the man I fell in love with. I admit I hated myself for letting myself fall for every easily avoidable temptation. I often ask myself, would he still love me after finding out how unfaithful I have been to him, not out of my desire of course, but because The Lord was punishing me.

My beloved Amidio's soul finally reincarnated again in the year 2000. He was a twenty-year-old young man and was the son of a farmer working the carrot fields. It felt like DeJa'Vu all over again for me. The same fateful day back in ancient Sumeria was happening all over again. He was more handsome, more beautiful than any man or woman I had known after his soul took a long absence in reincarnating. His hair was as black as coal, his eyes like shining obsidian. His skin was like burnished bronze in the sun. The beads of sweat that rolled down the sides of his neck and face drove me mad with desire for only him.

"Sweet mother of God, Virgen de Guadalupe, I pray to you, please bless me with a godly woman who will love me and always will be by my side. I ask this in Jesus's name."

"The God may have changed, but the request remained the same. Humble and pure. Innocent and patient. I may not be the blessed mother or a goddess, but I am still the same woman who fell in love with you." I thought to myself.

I met him again, masquerading as a tourist passing by his hometown. From there, I returned all his memories of our entire relationship from the first lifetime we met. He finally returned to me. Our relationship resumed after centuries of waiting for him. Many attempts after our marriage, I was finally pregnant after a year. Since that night, I no longer see even the dimmest rays from Heaven. The doors to my heavenly estate, my home, were closed to me forever. I was damned to love a creature of flesh while chasing after more of it when he passed away. I am truly damned. But whether damned or not, I will remain loyal to the one I fell in love with now until time ceases to exist.