by NonStopFunGuy
What's with all the "word -- word" garbage in roughly 80% of all sentences. Quite reading after 3 to 4 paragraphs too hard on the eyes and confusing due to how frequent that was part of the text. Get an education beginning back with grade shool basics.
This was smoking, sizzling, scorching 1000° burning hot. Kudos.
Disagree with the previous comment. The story was written to read as some horny teenage girls raving-ranting blog. The awkward, grammatically incorrect style only reinforced the idea that it was being written by someone in the throes of uncontrollable lust.
although your diaolog is a little weird- and the daddy word a bit much...i only say this cuz shes 18 and knows what she wants...but all in all a great story...hav you ever read the writer Shoguy? now thats what i like in teens with older men. and shoguy does the really endowed thing -which to me adds a lot of heat to a story...
One of the best, if not the best story I have read on here, the fact it is soooo long in itself makes it good, let alone the detail! Carry on the writing as I can't wait to read your next story!
Love the story sounds like she kikes big dicks and loves to fuck, that young must be some good pussy, to take 8" or more in pussy and ass great story.
Having been a teenage girl this just doesn't sound like one. Too much jumping around from slang to using the proper names for things. Most people, especially teenagers, either use slang Consistently or barely at all. Sounds like I'm nitpicking but it kept me from really getting into the story. It ruined the flow for me. It was a sexy but distracted story.
If you're going to say the scientific names, use them properly. You shave your labia majora (outer lips) and mons pubis (pubic mound), not your vagina (which is inside). Shaving your vagina would be like shaving your tongue.
you need to change your name to non stop bore guy! words like PENIS for an 18 year old girl today?????? get it together dude...
Was enjoying the story a lot! Totally lost interest though when he spit on her then slapped her. The whole cumming on her face then rubbing it around with his dick didn't really do anything for me, but I was bearing through waiting for him to fuck her. Oh well, cant win em all.
Thanks for writing.