Dave's Best Friend Floyd

There was this one night that they were at our place and we had been playing rummy like always. The funny thing about us playing was that Floyd always seemed to win. Well, not always but most of the time. He just got the cards and he kinda knew how to play them and, in the end, he'd win most of the time. Seemed like every time he'd win, he'd talk about how he should go to Vegas where he could win some big money. Of course, no way he could afford to go to Vegas and I always kidded him that they didn't play rummy in Vegas so he was shit outa luck. I guess they don't play rummy in Vegas. I don't really know. Never been there. Didn't really matter because he couldn't afford to go no how.

Sorry I'm jumpin' around a little here. This is kinda new to me.

Trisha had a job too. They only had one car and Floyd always took that so she either had to ride the bus somewhere or walk. She hated the bus. Never wanted to ride the bus. We didn't know quite why she hated the bus so much but she sure did. So, anywhere she worked, she had to walk. She got a job as a waitress in a really small little . . . well, I guess you'd call it a restaurant. It only had five table but they had regular people come in all the time. She made a little money from the restaurant and some tips too. Bein' the south end, she didn't get no $10 tips for sure, but they always said she made enough to help out. I think Floyd spent most of that money on lottery tickets though. Didn't help much with the rent or food or nothin' like that.

We did know that Trisha was one of those puzzles that you couldn't quite figure out. I mean, when you knew where she came from you wondered how the hell she turned out so sweet. Her dad was a guy who had figured out how to scam the system, you know. He was always sick or hurt or disabled, never worked but got money from the government somehow. Drank a lot of it up too. Some people said he was mean to Trisha but we never saw it if he was. Her mom had some kind of a disorder or something where she wouldn't leave the house at all. Trisha was their only kid and she turned out to be a sweetheart, like Nina said. On top of that, she loved Floyd so much and it was just easy to see all the time. Floyd treated her okay so no problem there, far as we know anyway, but even if he didn't, I don't think she'd a said anything. She was just like that.

Sometimes Nina and me would go eat at the place where she worked, if we got a chance, and we left a nice tip. Pretty sure it just went to the lottery though. Lottery was good to us but not so much to them even though they kept tryin'.

Well, anyway, they was at our place and we was playin' rummy. We'd each put up five bucks and keep score and, if you lost your money you was out of the game. We'd set a time limit most of the time but sometimes, three of us would be out of money and the fourth had all of it. That was usually Floyd since he won a lot, like I said before. This night I think old Floyd was in a bad mood or something since he was gripein' about not havin' money and not gettin' rich and swearin' at the lottery for not dumpin' his lap full of money. Plus, he was grumblin' at Trisha for whatever. We never quite figured that out. The thing is, she didn't deserve to be treated that way at all. I don't know what happened but I just got fed up with hearin' all that from Floyd. I mean, he's my best friend but that doesn't mean I can't get fed up with the way he was actin' and just . . . well, the way he was actin' with Trisha. I mean, he took care of her and all but I don't think he ever knew how lucky he was to have her, the way she treated him. Pissed me off, I guess. So, not like me at all, I decided to do something, well, drastic, I guess. That's a word my mom used to use and I just thought of it and it seemed to fit what I was thinkin'.

First, I gave Nina a big wink. She looked at me kinda funny and I just mouthed to her, "trust me." I knew she would even though this one would be tough. Then I started what I was up to.

"Floyd, you're always bitchin' about money and the lottery and that kind of shit. I've got a deal for you if you want to take it." I gave him a pretty stiff look.

"Yeah, what's that?" he said.

"We'll play one hand of gin rummy, since there's only two of us doin' this. Okay?"

He didn't know what I was talkin' about yet but he nodded anyway.

"If you win, I'll give you $250,000." Now that had three sets of eyes open about as wide as they'd go. "But, here's the deal. If you lose, I'll still give you $50,000 but I get to have sex with Trisha."

Now, you'd a thought there'd be a big "no way" or something from Floyd . . . but there wasn't. He was actually thinkin' about it. I looked at Nina and winked again cause I knew there was no way she'd be lettin' me have sex with Trisha. Wonderful as she is, she didn't say a thing. But I knew she was wonderin' what I had up my sleeve.

Trisha hadn't said anything either. She never looked at me but was just standin' there lookin' at Floyd. I had kind of figured that might happen, knowing them both. I knew that Floyd was figurin' that he almost never lost at any of the gin games and $250,000 was more money than he could wrap his brain around. The losin' part was in his brain too, but I just figured he was so fixed on the big dollars, he hadn't even thought much about that. I think Trisha was more worried about the losin' part. We were good friends but . . .

"Okay," Floyd said, surprisin' me just a little. I had figured that into my plan but was hopin' I didn't have to go there. Now that I did, and the first part hadn't quite gone like I'd hoped, I was just prayin', and I'm not a prayin' man, that the next part went a little better.

Floyd and I sat down at the table and I gave him the cards to shuffle and deal. Nina and Trisha were right by the table and Nina looked at me again and I knew she really hadn't figured out what was goin' on here. I smiled and she shrugged her shoulders. I said that lovin' me was first on her list and she was usin' that love to trust me now. I'd figure some way to pay her back for doin' that.

Now, if Floyd won, he'd have a lot of money for sure. But that wasn't what I was hopin' for and, when I picked up the cards Floyd dealt me, I pretty fast figured he wasn't gonna win. I only needed one card to gin -- it was near perfect already. Took me three draws to get that card and the game was over. He'd lost.

Floyd just looked at me, then stood up and walked away from the table. Nina was REALLY lookin' at me and wonderin' what was gonna happen. Trisha kinda slowly looked at me, ready. Now was the tricky part and I hoped it worked.

"Why don't you take off your clothes," I said to her and she looked at me and started doin' it. Now, before all you readers get too upset or excited, whichever one suits you best, a couple of times when we were fishin' under the bridge and it was really hot, all four of us had done a little skinny dippin' so we had seen each other naked before and so, Trisha, taking off her clothes wasn't gonna show me anything I hadn't already seen. But, skinny dippin' and this were quite a bit different. Quite a bit.

When she got everything off. I was getting' a little scared cause my plan wasn't goin' quite like I'd planned for it to go. I stepped over beside Trisha and whispered in her ear, "don't worry, nothin's gonna happen." She turned her head and looked right up at me and when she did that, I heard what I had been hopin' to hear all along.

"NO!" Floyd yelled and ran over and jumped between me and Trisha. He bent down and got her clothes. "Put these on," he said. "Dave, you won the bet, fair and square, but . . . but this ain't gonna happen. I ain't takin' any money and I know I welshed on what we bet and I'll do whatever to make up for it." He just turned and looked at Trisha and said, "You're worth more than that $50,000 and I hope you can forgive me for lettin' it get this far. I'm an asshole."

That pretty much summed it up. He'd finally figured he had something worth more than a few bucks, or even a lot of bucks. Like me, he had a loving wife. They hugged. She'd never backed down from doing what she thought he wanted and she was willing to . . . well, you know. Sex with me might not have been all bad. Nina doesn't think so. But I wasn't Floyd and she was still gonna do it.

We gave Floyd and Trisha the $50,000 anyway. It was what Nina and me got started with and we hoped Floyd could somehow get something started with them too. Nina told me later she was scared to death and couldn't figure what I was doing. But she trusted me and that was worth the $50,000 too. I gave her big belly a pat. We were ready to have a boy or a girl, whichever, join us before long

The next time we went fishin', after the baby was born, we all skinny dipped again. It had a kind of special meaning that time, you know. Still thinkin' about that bass boat. Hard to break those old habits I guess.