All Comments on 'David and Becky - Foolish Choices Ch. 01'

renamed .. but usual repetitive boring story

How many parts are there to this book?

Welcome back, and great start!

Ah shit, here we go again.

After waiting for so long for the story to resume, I am disappointed. I thought the chapter would be longer and more involved. You said several times, the story had already been written and just needed to be edited. Nothing new here. Almost a repeat of the first caning.

Amazing - so glad you are continuing this epic!!

Waited so long for such a short chapter eagerly awaiting an update

New book. Exact same story. Next chapter going to be a page and a half of him moving bricks?

welcome back. a great start to part 4 of our hero's decline

Ignore the criticism from people (likely the same person) who are too lazy and unimaginative to write their own stories. Great way to start the new chapter by tying it into the previous one. The continuity works just fine.

Ignore the criticism. They are still reading. Hmm when I don’t like a book I stop reading.

I love the story and writing style. Always I. The edge of my seat for more. Can’t wait to see what Becky has to say to him.

I'm rather disappointed with this chapter. After the overlong and repetitive preceeding book i was hoping for some progression, but it just seems like a retelling of a previous episode. It was maybe worse, as any interaction between David and the women appears to have been sacrificed. Even Becky being present was only mentioned fleetingly, and I think the most she did was grin and wave.

Echoing another commenter, I suppose we'll have him moving bricks again? OllyT, you have a good story here, and to me the dynamic between Becky and David is the story, its now time to move on and get back to the meat of the plot, yes I know its a contradictory of terms but I think you know what I mean.

I read the comments and agree. I was disappointed with the way you began the story. He got caned and came. He did not act much more hurt by 40 strokes than the 20 he received before.I was almost the same scene.

One of your commenters said for you to ignore the detractors as they never posted a story before.. Well, I have written several stories, many of which were multi-chapter. Your chapters are agonizingly short. It is as if you want to tell your story a spoonful at a time instead of serving a full plate. You should have included Becky's visit following his caning at the very least. And you should have fleshed out the story.

You spent months supposedly editing this story you said was already written. By written it must have been an outline if this is the final result. my advice is this. double up on the chapter size. You break far too short. Only 2 pages long and a single repetitive scene.

You have a good potential story line and you wasted it by submitting short, unsatisfying chapters. You turned a possible 5 star imagination into a 3 star story.

Gamblnluck - regarding recent comments.

First of all, I would never argue with anyone’s opinion of my stories. Everyone has an absolute right to express any opinion and I will respect the freedom of those who comment on the story content by accepting what they say, without redress. However, I must take issue with a couple of points made which I feel questions my integrity.

You wrote, ‘I supposedly spent months editing this story I said was already written’. The time between finishing the upload of book 3 and uploading the first chapter of book 4, WAS spent editing, there is no ‘suppose’ about it. I am not a liar and I resent your insinuation. I am not a professional writer, I have a full time job with family commitments, so before making accusations that I’m lying about how I use my time, consider, not everyone has an infinite amount of spare time. And, from 21st March to 30th April is just over five weeks, so where these ‘months’ have come from, perhaps you use a different way of calculating time.

Another point you made about one of my ‘commenters’ who said some of my detractors have ‘never posted a story before’. Obviously, you have, but don’t direct your anger for that comment towards me as if it was I who had said it. Your response seems to indicate that was my view, something I have never said or even hinted at.

You are clearly a very good and prolific writer on this site, but looking at the timing of your own works, you have a 19 part series that took 6 months to upload (approx. 1 chapter every 9 days) and a 36 part series that took 7 months to upload (approx. 1 chapter every 5 – 6 days). May I suggest you also fed your stories to your readers a spoonful at a time rather than serving a full plate?

Some of the advice I have had from readers, some of them writers themselves, have been very helpful and I have, and will continue, to take them on board. But, I will not accept ‘advice’ put in such a patronising manner by a fellow writer who should know better.

OK on the 2d punishment, but maybe the story needs some novel directions. For example, how about an attempted escape planned by Dr. Petran and/or Cassie that results in a outdoors whipping for all 3 by the Madame after an extended spread eagle session out in the hot sun and the breaking of them with various punishment instruments, bondage sessions, etc.? Just a suggestion.....

Well, ho, hum. Sorry, nothing really jumps out that David is suffering very much. Oh, his ass is a bit sore and had something dabbled on his ass. He gets up with a little help and then is walked back to his cell. Maybe next time he will get 60 strokes? Hopefully part 2 will be more intense. And, no, I do not write stories; however I do like the premise the author had with the previous groups of David and Becky.

How often will the parts be released

Can I guess the next two chapters please? 😁 In the second chapter, Becky meets him and asks him to pleasure her with his tongue. In the third chapter, he will move the bricks.

I hope I have gotten it right 😄 once again, I just want to thank the author for this story 😊

Ollyt:

I am not here to get into a pissing contest with you. I am very sorry you took offense to my comments. I will agree the plural 'months' was wrong.

But you were the one to state repeatedly your stories are complete and just awaiting editing. You even used the term upload in your comments. You compared my 'upload time which is really not the case..

In my case it took that long to write and edit the chapters. If you look closer at my submissions, you will see those chapters are at least 8k words while most average half again that. Compare that to the size of your chapters. That 36 chapter story you mentioned was the size of a full length novel by the time it was complete.

I do not write the full story and then edit and upload in chunks. If the flow of the story is good and I am in the zone, I am writing 3 chapters ahead of posting. I do that so I can go back and set up for something I think of to put in a later chapter. Sometimes that requires a major rewrite and then that changes the chapter in between. Sometimes the story stalls because I find I cannot get my thoughts organized. That is just my writing style. Writing styles are like opinions and assholes. I am not trying to defend mine nor condemn yours.

What I call editing is checking for spelling and grammar and if you read my stories, you will see i am not good at it.

In addition to writing, I am an avid reader. I find some stories interesting and some that cannot keep my attention. You have a good story line, and I have been following it to see where it goes. But I stand by my comments your chapters are terribly short. 15 chapters that are 4k in length is still only 60k long.

I stand by my comment you are wasting your story by submitting short, unsatisfying chapters. You turned a possible 5 star imagination into a 3 star story. You might even consider holding off submitting a bit and flesh out your story some. Your body of work may not appear to be as many chapters but it will be better in the long run.

Like I said before, I am not trying to offend.

The story is not erotic or exciting. It’s just a bunch of women getting off seeing men beaten.