All Comments on 'Davin's Teasing Sister'

for the story and for you as a writer. Keep going !

Use your quotations for dialog better by using " instead of '

Very nice start to a lovely story. Don't worry about the 'grammar' and 'punctuation' comments. This isn't suppose to be Pulitzer prize winning stuff here, just good old fashioned erotica.

Am looking forward to the next chapter. Your writing is very believable and flows along smoothly.

Erotic and believable, a very refreshing change here of late.

Keep up the good work!

Nice story. More brothers and sisters should get along so well. Sisters can really help bros thru difficult(hard) times

I would never have known that English was a second language. Very well done, with slang and all. A good job and thank you for a good read.

Yes, so hot and arousing. They are two of a kind, spy on each other, lick each other's cum and want more! Maybe, they should go into her room and rub one out together all the way. Who knows, maybe they do oral and more on each other? Nice plot and cannot wait for more. Thanks.

pretty good for a first story. Keep it up.

You said English wasn't your first language, have to say it reads pretty good and isn't obvious that it's not your first language.

is another wuss amongst all the guys who are wusses here on Lit. Too many to count.

He acts like a 14-year-old. Why are all the guys always made out to sound like idiots?

Nice premise.

But when she made him masturbate for her, it was much too fast. It seemed as if there was a race to the finish line. Needed to slow down. Needed to have dialog with her asking how it felt. Was that the way he always jerked off? Why did he do it so fast? Wouldn't it be better if it lasted longer?

And, for God's sake, why did he close his eyes when her bare boobs were there for his viewing enjoyment? Did he like her breasts? Were they the right size? What did they look like? How big were the nipples? Would he like to see her play with them? Could he imagine how nice it would be to feel them?

Four stars.

Author, you handled the English well.

This little story needs to continue.

She had to have gotten all hot and bothered watching her brother wank, So there needs to be a chance for him to watch her.

Eventually they need to get together.