Dazed and Confused

On the way back, Charlie texted me to ask if I could pick up Ben and Mollie on my way back and give them a walk as she was going to a hockey trial at a local club. Ginny had to pass my door to get to her cottage, so it gave me a chance to introduce her to the two dogs and we walked up to her place with the Labradors in tow.

She left me to continue my walk at the end of her garden path. She gave me a hug and a peck on the cheek. "I really enjoyed today, Tess. You certainly are coming along so well!"

As we spoke, Ellie came out of her cottage, desperately trying to cling onto Roly, who was dragging her down the path despite his tiny size. His tail was going ninety to the dozen and even jaded old Ben and Mollie got excited for once.

We had a fun few minutes as everyone fussed over the mad doggy trio then Ellie turned to Ginny.

"Really sorry Gin, but I can't take him tomorrow now - need to take my Mum to hospital down in Brighton for a check-up."

Ginny shook her head. "No worries, Ellie - thanks anyway. Hope she's ok."

Ellie said her goodbyes and scurried back into her cottage.

Ginny's demeanour changed and for the first time I heard her swear. "Merde, merde. I've got a friend coming over from Paris - we were going to meet in London for a show and a meal and I am staying over." She closed her eyes. "Fuck it; we've not been able to get together for ages."

She suddenly looked at me in horror. "Oh, sorry Tess - that was so rude of me. Sorry for swearing - it's just such a disappointment."

I looked down at the little ball of fluff now sniffing the delicate parts of the larger dogs. I picked him up and cuddled him. "Hello Roly - guess who's going to be looking after you tomorrow!" I turned to Ginny. "My friend Leanne has a saying - 'Problem, what problem?'"

As Roly began licking my ear, she looked at me, her dark eyes wide. She hugged me again, this time even tighter, almost squashing poor Roly. "Oh, petite fille, je t'aime!"

In the end, we decided that it would be easier for me to stay in Ginny's cottage rather than to decamp all of Roly's stuff to our house which already had enough doggy paraphernalia to open a pet-shop. Besides, he hadn't had all his jabs so it was probably best to keep him away from the other dogs as much as possible.

As Ginny was due to get the midday train up to London I arrived in good time with my overnight bag. She fussed over Roly and apologised for leaving him but assured him he would be in good hands.

"Ok, I've ordered you a pizza to arrive at seven - there is a bottle of wine in the fridge. Help yourself to anything and treat the place as your own. If that idiot Kyle decides what a fool he has been and tries to call you, just make sure the headboard doesn't bang on the wall and wake Ellie up!"

She giggled as she left, telling me I was a life-saver and she could never thank me enough.

I laughed at her comment about Kyle. I had told her about it on our day out in Amberdown.

"He is a fool. Look at you - so naturally lovely, so fresh-faced - that gorgeous red hair and those cute freckles! Which boy wouldn't want to see those green eyes gaze up at him as he kissed that pretty mouth?"

She had gestured between my flat chest and her own very large breasts and shook her head. "You're a lucky kid - try carrying these pups around with you for half your life!"

For some reason, her saying it in French didn't embarrass me as much as if she had said it in English, but I still felt myself colouring a little.

Ginny had said that it was ok to take Roly for short walks, so I took him down to the Grind while I had my coffee and a toastie for lunch. The fuss that was made of him, you'd think I'd brought Prince Harry in there for a quick coffee. He revelled in being the centre of attention, his soft furry tail battering anyone who came close. Ginny was going to have to get used to this in the coming weeks, and I expected that I would too.

After that he was worn out bless him and slept most of the afternoon while I idled the time away catching up with a few friends on social media and had a long Skype conversation with Nathalie in Nice. I had a last little rough-and-tumble with Roly and his squeaky toys in the tiny back garden before setting his food and water out for the night. I closed the doggy-gate in the hall as my pizza arrived, poured myself a glass of wine and settled down to one of the few movies in Ginny's collection that was not in French.

At ten-thirty I went upstairs to Ginny's guest room with the remains of the bottle feeling a little tipsy. It felt great to have a night on my own for once and I was going to make the most of it.

I checked the headboard - it was a good few inches from the wall, so I should be ok. I unwrapped Lightyear from where it was hidden deep in my bag. I opened up the latest e-mail from Leanne on my tablet and carefully copied the URL she had sent me into my browser.

I knew it was out there, but the scope and the scale of it staggered me. I spent a good hour staring wide-eyed at some of the stuff on show until I realised I was getting more than a little itchy and moist somewhere down where my second mass of red hair resided.

Lightyear began to buzz. My fingers began to probe.

I didn't have to be silent this time, so I wasn't.

At two thirty in the morning, I deleted my browsing history and curled up into a contented ball. On the floor next to the bed there was a soaked towel with a long, pink vibrator lying on top of it. There was also an empty wine bottle. If you were to sniff the neck of the bottle, it would have the same scent as the vibrator.

And my fingers.

I had licked them clean, one by one.

Fuck, it felt good!

I somehow got myself up early enough not to have Roly whimpering for his morning feed. I left him to it and had one last gentle session with Lightyear before I went and showered. Ginny had said she would be back late morning, so I had plenty of time.

I took Lightyear into the bathroom with me and gave it a good wash. I also rinsed my towel thoroughly and put it in a plastic bag and stuffed it back in my overnight bag. It could go in the wash with my cricket kit after practice later that night. I showered and as I was drying off, I heard contented barking from down below. I could hear Ginny's voice as she was joyfully re-united with Roly. I looked at my watch and realised she was much earlier than expected.

I wrapped a big bath towel around me, grabbed my wash-bag and headed back into the spare room to dry off in case she needed the bathroom. I found a hair-dryer in one of the drawers and breathed a sigh of relief. I have a lot of hair and it takes an age to dry naturally.

I dressed, picked up my bag and trotted downstairs where the smell of coffee was tantalising.

Ginny had a big smile on her face. She looked radiant and I had a thought that maybe she had been up to something naughtier than me last night. As we drank our coffee, I thanked her for the pizza and the wine and she told me about the show and dinner with her Parisian friend.

We arranged another session for a couple of day's time - this time we were going to meet at the Sussex Arms for lunch. She hugged me again as we parted at the door. She smelled fresh and fragrant.

I was halfway across the village green when it hit me. I practically ran back to her house, my heart thumping. I could see it as clearly as if it were a photograph.

Ginny's bathroom; the sink, the shower, the bath. The bathroom shelf with a mirror above it.

The bathroom shelf on which proudly stood a six-inch metallic pink vibrator called Lightyear.

Slightly out of breath, I knocked on the door praying she had not been upstairs.

The look on her face as she opened the door told me instantly that she had been upstairs.

She leaned on the door-post smiling knowingly. "Ah, Tess. Bonjour encore une fois! As-tu oublié quelque chose?" 'Have you forgotten something?'

I felt the familiar hot, red rash wash up and over me. "Oui, erm... dans la salle de bain." 'In the bathroom.'

I could tell she was enjoying playing with me. She shrugged. "Non, Tess. Rien dans la salle de bain." 'Nothing in the bathroom.' She grinned. "Mais dans ma main?"

She pulled her hand from behind her back. "Ah oui, c'est ici!" She looked at it closely in her hand and switched to English. "A bit large for a lipstick, no?" She looked at me and touched a finger to my lips. "But you do not use lipstick - strange! Hmm - what does this button do?" She turned the little dial at the end and gave a breathy little, "Ooh!" as it began to buzz in her hand.

I stood there mortified, feeling that my face was glowing it was so red. Thanking goodness I had washed it thoroughly, I held my hand out. "Please, Ginny - I'm sorry..."

Smiling softly she switched it off and held it out to me. "Nothing to be sorry for, Tess. Just doing what comes naturally, eh?" She narrowed her eyes. "Was it nice?"

I managed a shy little smile and nodded.

"Good girl. Didn't wake Roly did you? Or Amy?"

I took it from her shaking my head. Totally embarrassed, I put it in my bag and took a step back. "Merci, Ginny. Au revoir!"

She ran her tongue across her lips and gave me her biggest smile. "I had a good night too. Should make Thursday's pub lunch interesting, no?"

She winked as she closed the door and I wanted the ground to swallow me up.

Four

We had hoped to eat outdoors on the edge of the green but it was drizzling hard. My cricket match that night was already called off so I was a bit down in the dumps as well as still feeling a little embarrassed about our previous encounter. At least the cancellation meant I could have a drink and stuff myself silly. We sat at a corner table and spoke in French, drank lager and ate far too much.

Ginny was looking incredible in her distraught jeans, long lace-up boots and a tight white sleeveless top. Her hair was in a long pony-tail hanging down over her left shoulder and held back by a white band.

When we had finished eating, Ginny looked at me over her beer glass. "So you play cricket, eh? Unusual for a girl."

I took a sip of my lager. "No - it's getting quite big. Lots of girls play it. We've got quite a good ladies section at Amberdown. Leanne plays and the Patel's daughter from the Post Office is our opening bat."

"Never can understand it myself and I have tried since I've been here. Are you good?"

"Well I had a county trial last year but nothing came of it. I love it though. At least with going to Brighton Uni I'll still be close enough to play when I'm there. Charlotte, my sister - she's captain of the under-fourteens and has just made the County squad."

We chatted on amiably and I tried to steer the conversation away from anything that may lead to what had happened the last time we had met.

Of course, I failed.

She put her hand on her chin and looked at me long and hard. I knew it was coming and braced myself. "So, if I may ask a personal question?"

I looked up at the dirty brown ceiling of the pub. "If you must."

She pulled a face, twisting her mouth. "That... thing I found in the bathroom." She waved her hand dismissively. "It must give you quite a mild little tickle?"

"Are you dissing my little pink pal Lightyear?" I frowned at her. "It does the job, thank you!"

"Pah, and what job is that?" She sounded indignant. "I think the batteries would run out before I got off on that little thing!"

I narrowed my eyes, not believing the way the conversation was going. "Look, lady - my little vibrator vibrates very nicely thank you. I may not have woken Roly, but I was very happy with the outcome!"

She laughed. "Glad to hear it!" She lowered her voice and leaned in towards me. "I had a good night too - I haven't had much chance recently, so I was quite a naughty girl!"

For some reason, it felt nice talking like this to someone other than Leanne. Maybe speaking French helped me to overcome my inhibitions. "So I take it your gentleman was a bit better than the ones I've been used to?"

She took a deep breath. "Oh, she was no gentleman!"

It took a moment to sink in. I sat, aware that I was staring at her with my mouth open. "Oops, sorry - I just assumed..."

She laughed. "Sometimes it would be a fair assumption. Just given what happened the other night it is a wrong one! I still enjoy the company of 'gentlemen', as you put it, but if I am honest, I prefer my intimate contact to be with my own sex. I had not seen Kashia for almost a year so we got very little sleep." Her voice was dreamy. "I came so many times, Tess. She is an amazing lover."

I was gob-smacked. All I could manage was a weak little, "Wow!"

She looked at me straight in the eyes so hard and directly, for a moment I thought she was going come on to me and I began to have a bit of a panic attack.

However, she merely shrugged. "We are they way we are, eh?" She sipped her lager. "Well, I'm glad that's out in the open. I like being honest with people I like and I like you!"

That was it - subject closed. She changed tack and we chatted on about anything but what had just passed between us. At last we finished our drinks and walked out into the thin drizzle. This time the hug was a little awkward as I was sure there was a little more pressure in her hands as she embraced me.

"So you still ok for Sunday?"

I nodded. "Yeah, I've got a cricket practice at ten so is one-ish ok?"

She smiled. "Perfect!" She hunched her shoulders and set off across the green. "Unlike this merde English weather..."

I checked my watch - it was coming up to three o'clock. Leanne would be finishing as Trev always closed dead on three during the week. I wandered over to Village Grind a few yards behind Ginny as she trudged away towards her cottage. She had intrigued me with the almost casual way she had spoken about sex. Leanne and I tended to skirt around it, talking in euphemisms whereas Ginny had been full-on. I needed someone to talk to.

I dragged Leanne back to the pub which was in its mid-afternoon lull.

She sipped her lager. "Game's been re-arranged for Tuesday."

She was our opening bowler while I batted at three and bowled a bit of ropey old off-spin when called upon.

"At least we can have a few drinks and not worry about dropped catches or getting out for a duck!"

We chatted in our usual way for a while then I decided it was time to bring up Ginny. I told her what had happened, confident that our life-long friendship would preclude her from telling anyone else.

She didn't seem particularly fazed by anything I had said.

"So, if she had come on to you, what would you have done?"

I looked at her wide-eyed. "What do you think?"

"What, you'd run?"

"Leanne, I'd fucking sprint!"

"Why?"

I didn't like where this was going. "Lee, what do you mean, why?"

She was always the smart-arse. "Why? Oh, well it's a three letter word; worth twelve in Scrabble. It is a common interrogative in the English language when the questioner seeks to find clarification from the questionee who is being evasive."

She paused. "Questionee... have I just invented a new word there? Anyway - I'll spell it out. Why would you sprint? She's fucking drop-dead gorge, Tess. Wouldn't you like to know what it's like? Bet it would be a damned side better than fucking ninety-second Mark or shithead Kyle."

I was incredulous. "Lee, listen to yourself! Are you saying you'd like to sleep with Ginny?"

Then she dropped her bombshell. "Well Pattie Henderson was pretty fucking good on the hockey tour in March, so I'd be astonished if Ginny wasn't worth an hour or two getting to know better."

I put my hand to my mouth. "Lee, you never said anything. Fucking hell, you actually went to bed with another girl? Oh my God, Lee. Why?"

She could be wicked when she liked. She mimicked my words. "Tess, what do you mean, why?" Before I could answer, she went on. "Simple - because I was sharing a room with Pattie and she came on to me. I let her kiss me first before I made my mind up about anything else."

My voice was shaking. "And?"

She was silent for a long time, then took hold of my hand. "It was bloody amazing, Tess. So gentle, so intense." She looked at me, her eyes glazed with tears. "I've shocked you, haven't I? Have I ruined fifteen years of friendship?"

I somehow managed to regain some composure. "No of course not - as long as you don't come on to me."

She laughed. "Hey, you're my surrogate sister. That would be fucking gross! Besides, you let Ross Farley inside your pants, so you've probably got Herpes, Chlamydia and Rabies! I ain't going anywhere near your infected little puss!"

Whatever happened, Leanne always made me laugh. "I've nearly got rid of the crabs!" I put my hand over my eyes. "God, what was I thinking?"

She nodded sagely. "Exactly, so if you ever feel like giving me abuse about sleeping with another girl, think on, eh?"

I leaned over the table and gave her a big hug. "I'd never abuse you for anything, Lee. Ginny said something earlier - 'We are what we are.' The one thing you'll always be is my bestie even if you start drinking in the Tanners Arms!"

The Tanners - a notorious den of iniquity near the station in Amberdown. Its reputation went before it and everyone growing up in the vicinity knew to steer well clear of the pub and its incumbent gang of tattooed biker-type ladies known as 'Maggie Bennett's Crew.'

Leanne shuddered. "Never going to happen!" She looked at me seriously. "I wanted to tell you, Tess, honest, but I value our friendship so much I was scared in case you'd..." She sighed deeply and tailed off waving her hand as if saying goodbye.

I grinned at her. "Never going to happen either. So have you... you know, since?"

She shook her head, her floppy dark hair swishing about her face. "Not that I wouldn't, but just not really had the opportunity. Pattie lives miles away and seemed to take it as a one-nighter anyway."

I leaned forward, my voice low. "Leanne, if I buy you another drink will you tell me all about you and Pattie?"

"Might take two..."

"Shall we get pissed?"

In the end, Eric the landlord refused to serve us any more drinks. He was gentle but firm. "Sorry girls, enough is enough. I got to look your folks in the eye next time they come in here. Get yerselves home and have some strong coffee."

We staggered out into the night and hugged each other as we headed our separate ways. Leanne's voice was slurred and I knew I was going to have to head straight to my room without seeing my folks or I'd be in trouble.

She looked me in the eye, or as close to it as her bobbing head could manage. She wagged her finger in my face, her voice betraying the amount we had drunk.

"If Ginny does try iddon, promze me you'll thingaboutid, yeah?"

I hugged her. "I promise!"

Somehow I made it to my room without being rumbled, but Lightyear didn't get any use that night.

Five

Leanne looked at me in disgust. "Oh Tess, you promised me!"

I sipped my coffee. "Yeah, but we were drunk at the time. When Ginny said what she said, I just flipped."

She put a hand on mine. "Come on, I told you all about Pattie - now it's your turn..."

I had gone to Ginny's straight from cricket practice on the Sunday. It was a nice day, so we sat in her tiny garden chatting away as we had done for a few sessions now. I was beginning to feel very comfortable with my conversational French and really felt I was making good progress. She was not really a teacher - just a friend to whom I spoke in a different language from my own. When I did falter or make a mistake, she corrected me gently and usually with a little bit of humour.

Roly scampered round the garden as we talked, chasing butterflies and the odd toy we threw for him when he needed attention. He was growing fast and becoming ever more boisterous.