Dazed and Confused

We arranged another meeting for the Tuesday as I left. We were now way over the original six sessions, but we had come to an agreement that if I looked after Roly for her, she'd do a session as payment. It worked for both of us as I loved Roly and we both enjoyed the sessions.

I picked up my cricket bag from where I had left it in the hall and slung it over my shoulder. Ginny moved in for our now statutory hug and air-kisses. She whispered in my ear. "I put a little pressie in your bag when you were in the bathroom." She tapped her nose and ushered me out of the door.

I was tempted to stop on the village green and check what she had given me, but something made me press on and leave my curiosity until I got home. It proved to be a wise decision; as did my next move.

Mum was in the kitchen as I arrived, unloading a washer full of Charlie's hockey kit. "Oh hi Tess, great timing as usual - just pop the bag down and I'll set another lot going!"

I thought of what my present would probably be and clung onto my bag. "Ok, thanks Mum. I'll be back down in a minute - just need to drop my bat and pads upstairs to give a good going over later."

When I opened the bag and saw my present, I thought that the only thing that was going to get a good going over was me. By comparison to Lightyear, this thing was a bloody monster. I quickly hid it under my mattress for later perusal and read the little note attached. 'One of my oldies but goodies! Try this and try to tell me that other thing doesn't just tickle you!'

I went white at the thought of what it might do to me.

Later on, I retrieved it and tried to fathom out how it might possibly work. The big part that resembled my vibe was obvious enough although it was a lot bigger and had a very pronounced bend to it. There was another, smaller protuberance about three inches long with bristly little brushes on it. I rotated the switch at the bottom and almost yelped at the power of the thing. I was sure it could be heard through the wall so I left it running on the bed and went out into the hall praying that Charlie wouldn't come out of her room demanding to know what I was up to with my ear to my door.

Mercifully I couldn't hear anything, but still decided some music may be required to drown out any stray sounds from it. I switched it off, deciding to get used to it in that mode before trying out the motorised functions. I lay on the bed with my legs wide apart and slowly pressed the deep purple head of the thing against myself. It felt absolutely huge compared to Lightyear and I still had no idea what the extra bit was for. I gasped as it went in further. I had never felt anything like it - it felt warm and comforting and was so big I could feel it stretching me. I liked the feeling so I pushed harder.

That is when the little brushes made contact with my clitoris and I began to realise their purpose. I squeezed down on it, barely able to comprehend the size and tentatively turned it on its lowest setting. I immediately cried out as it began to pulsate and vibrate inside me. I realised my legs were sticking straight up in the air as I pushed it in all the way. I turned the knob once more and it began to move in and out, still keeping up the vibrations and pulses. Almost without thinking I picked up the remote for my Bluetooth speaker and increased the volume a little to cover the sounds I was making. I rolled over and stuffed the end of one of my pillows into my mouth and turned the knob another click.

I left it there doing its work as I gripped the metal bars on my headboard. I felt if I let go, I'd hit the ceiling. It went on and on, relentlessly. I rolled onto my back again and gave it one more turn. I came in racking sobs, tugging at my tiny little nipples, tears streaming down my face at the intensity of it. When I could take no more, I switched it off and left it there for twenty, maybe thirty minutes just relishing the feel of the huge thing inside me.

It was quite painful taking it out and I gasped as it stretched me once more on the way out. I wiped it careful on my soaked towel and slid it back under the mattress. It wasn't going to be so easy cleaning that off in the bathroom. Another little challenge to overcome.

The next morning, I went down for breakfast not daring to have another session with it. Charlie was sitting at the breakfast bar, alternately shoving spoonfuls of cereal into her mouth and tapping like a dervish on her phone.

She looked up. "Hiya Sis!" Her voice was muffled by a dozen or more Cheerios.

Now she may be a right little pain at times, but she is my little sis and I love her so much. I was almost moved to tears by what she said next. "Hey Tess, you ok?"

I nodded. "Yeah, why?"

She looked concerned. "Just thought I heard you crying last night - I was a bit worried."

I hugged her and kissed her little snub nose. "Aw thanks for looking out for me Chazzer. Yeah, I was. Just Kyle still gets to me a bit at times. Daft eh?"

She shrugged as she got up with her empty dish. "Boys are fucking stupid, Tess. Even I know that."

I had been told by Mum to have a go at her if I heard her swearing, but I just burst out laughing. I cuddled her in to me as she beamed up at me with her cheeky grin. I kissed her on the top of the head. "You're fucking right there, Charlotte-Anne!"

It was two days until I saw Ginny again - the day it all came crashing down.

We had planned a country walk to talk about the sights along the way, but there was more rain in the air so we sat in her little front room and drank coffee and chatted about anything that came to mind. Of course there was one thing at the back of my mind that I knew would come up eventually. As the morning drew on, I found myself becoming more anxious. When Ginny switched to English, I knew what was coming.

"So, your little gift. How are you finding it?"

I felt myself redden. "Erm, it's nice but a bit... intense."

Ginny sat up, smiling. "So better than Mr. Tickle then?"

I had to be honest with her. "Look Ginny, thanks for the present, but I'm... not comfortable talking like this. It just feels wrong."

She spread her arms wide. "Nothing wrong with it to me! Don't worry, I'm very broad minded!"

Why do I always go red? "Yeah, I know, Ginny - but I'm not. It's all new to me. I hardly even know how to use the thing." I tried to make light of it. "I wasn't even sure which end to use!"

Ginny's voice was chillingly calm. "I can show you if you like."

"What?" Poor little Roly jumped out of his skin at my reaction.

She shrugged. "You've seen I'm a good teacher. Just think what else I can teach you?"

I was utterly mortified. "Ginny, no - I don't think that will be necessary thank you." I thought of what Leanne had said to me but I was frozen. I could barely think straight.

She went on relentlessly. "No need to touch each other or anything if that's what you are worried about. I can just demonstrate a few nice little techniques?"

I was now fully red once more. "Ginny, no!" I was aware of Roly whining away, unused to raised voices.

She smiled. "You are not a virgin - you have told me about the boys not being particularly... accomplished, so..." she gave me a Gallic shrug. "Why not see what the girls have to offer?"

My mind was a whirl of confusion. I kept seeing Leanne's finger wagging in my face and me promising to think about it.

Something snapped in my head.

"I don't... I can't... sorry." I stood and grabbed my bag. "Thanks for the lessons, Ginny, but I think we've gone as far as we can, yeah?"

Her voice was imploring. "But Tess, why?"

I reached the door. "Because... because..." I ran down the hall unable to face her. "I don't want to be a fucking lesbian."

I ran down the gravel path, tears pouring down my cheeks, cursing myself for my cravenness and stupidity. I stumbled as I reached the edge of the village green and turned round. Through my tears I could see a tall blurred figure in the doorway, a little brown blob next to her. We stood looking at each other for a long time until the door slowly closed.

As I finished my tale, I looked up from my now cold coffee and met Leanne's steely gaze. She shook her head slowly. "Prior, I love you to bits, but you really are your own worst enemy at times. You've got a hot looking lady with a sexy-as-hell accent hanging out for you and you practically run out the fucking door!"

She stood, staring down at me in disgust. "Come on, time to forget sultry Frenchwomen and mutual masturbation. Hard, I know; but we have a cricket match to win..."

We lost that one, but a week later we had another chance to redeem ourselves. I had managed to avoid Ginny - despite Leanne trying to mend broken bridges - largely by keeping away from Village Grind.

Game-time came around again and Leanne, me and Suri Patel were crammed in the back of Jean Murdoch's car as her husband Phil drove us the five or so miles into Amberdown for the big game. We always had a cracker against one of the ladies sides from nearby Brighton and it was played full-on but with a mutual respect. We were the only four from the village to play for Amberdown Belles as we were known, and Jean and Phil were the sort of couple that any small club needs in any sport - the ones that do everything from preparing the pitch to providing teas to switching the lights out after everyone had gone home.

We crunched into the gravelled car-park and said hi to some of the opposition that we knew pretty well. Phil went off to his bar and multiple other duties and the rest of us went to get changed into our pink shirts, courtesy of the sponsorship from a local cake shop in Amberdown. We had a nice little 'Confection Confidential' logo on the breast and there was a large billboard alongside the pavilion declaring that they made very good cakes and were the proud sponsors of the three Amberdown Belles ladies elevens.

I could see Josie Napier-Jones and her partner Izzy setting up their cake tent. They always did great trade at our games and it meant a few more spectators than we would usually get given the quality of their merchandise.

Josie waved to me - there had been jokes about she, Charlie and I being red-heads when the publicity shots had been taken and Izzy had laughed when she realised the red-headed under-14 captain was in fact taller than her diminutive wife Josie.

We were batting first, so I padded up and got my helmet on ready. With long hair like mine, it takes a while to get inside a lid. I didn't have to wait long. There was a loud click of leather on wood, a raucous appeal and Suri trudged off, head down as the wicketkeeper threw the ball aloft. Back down to earth with a bang after her first senior fifty the previous week.

I heard Leanne give me her habitual send off. "Go girl, don't want to see you back before tea-time!"

Suri mumbled an apology as we passed each other.

I took guard and looked around the field. I was just about to settle into my stance when something caught my eye beyond the long-off boundary. There was a tall, dark-haired woman leaning on one of the supporting pillars of the pavilion, a glass of red wine in her hand. At her feet was a small round fluffy bundle on a lead.

I froze, unable to take in that she was watching me. Why was she there, for fuck's sake? I stood staring at her for far longer than I should.

I heard impatient mutterings behind me and the voice of Joyce, our umpire made it through the fog.

"Tess?"

"Sorry girls!" I shook my head to try and clear the noise buzzing around in there. Just the thing I needed when facing Amy Simmonds - going well in the full County team and tipped by some to be in the England squad when it was announced soon. I watched her thunder in towards me, nostrils flaring, ponytail lashing her shoulders, her wide rear-end swaying. There was a flail of arms and legs, a grunt of effort and a white blurry object came towards me at frightening speed.

I groped forward trying to get the bat somewhere in the vicinity of her thunderbolt. I succeeded, but only in as much as hearing a click as loud as Suri's bat had made a minute or so earlier.

I never look round when I think I am going to be out. I just stood and watched Amy, waiting for her arm to go up in triumph. Instead, I saw her back arch as she threw her head back, letting out a roar of disgust. Hands on her hips in the traditional 'tea-pot,' she muttered at me. "Lucky fucker as usual, Prior!"

As she stomped back to her mark, I turned and saw the wicketkeeper and slip staring daggers at each other with their arms out wide. They must have both left the catch to each other and the ball was nestling against the boundary rope. What should have been no runs for two wickets was four for one.

I knew full well what response to expect from Amy. The next ball was delivered with a very loud grunt and I managed to get a good bit of bat on it, swatting it down to fine leg for a single. If I hadn't, they'd have been prising it out of the grille of my helmet with a wrench. I got a few more choice words from Amy as I passed her.

I somehow managed to scrape and scratch my way to a scruffy thirty-odd, my mind in a whirl, my eyes constantly glancing at the pavilion to see if Ginny was still there. When I was finally put out my misery, I heard their captain say to Joyce, "Thought you said the Prior kid could bat?"

In the end we made a decent score and I almost managed to put Ginny out of my mind. At least I did until we stepped onto the field and saw her in animated conversation with Josie and Izzy. It shouldn't have been a surprise that she knew them as they were well known as a gay couple around the area and had made headlines a few years ago as one of the first same-sex marriages in the town.

Izzy was fussing over Roly, her fierce tattooed and pierced look completely at odds with the gentle, kind person we knew from her time at the club.

It was my turn to give Leanne her traditional little send-off as she reached the end of her run. "Come on, Lee - let's see number three walking out next ball."

As I said it, I saw Josie give Ginny a hug out of the corner of my eye and assumed she was off home.

I was disabused of that notion during the next over when I had to chase the ball down to the boundary. I usually slide past the ball, but the ground was hard and dry so I didn't fancy leaving skin out there. I stuck out a boot and stopped it a foot short of the rope. As I picked it up, I saw a little brown fur-ball on the other side of the boundary desperately trying to free himself from his lead. His hind legs were on the ground but he was at full stretch, his little front paws waving in the air as he desperately tried to help me field the ball. I looked upwards and saw dark eyes smouldering into mine, the rest of her face impassive.

Time stood still. For the second time that evening, I was aware of shouts and murmurings behind me. I was dimly aware that back in the real world I should be doing something with a cricket ball. I heard an impatient shout. "Come on Tess, get the bloody ball in!"

As I turned and hurled the ball straight into Lizzie's gloves, I heard a soft voice behind me. "He misses you."

I held a hand up in apology to my teammates and flexed my back, feigning injury as a distraction for my embarrassment.

As I trotted back to my position, I heard five more words in a soft French accent. "But I miss you more..."

Oh fuck, just what I needed to hear! The rest of the game went by in a blur and it was a relief half way through to see a dark-haired woman leaving the ground on her bike with a small dog peering out curiously from the basket on the handlebars.

There were a few comments in the bar afterwards and Jill, the skipper took me to one side. "Not at your best tonight, Tess. Everything ok?"

I felt my phantom back injury once more. "Yeah, sorry Jill - bit of a back spasm. Just didn't feel right batting for some reason."

"Be ok for Tuesday?"

"Yeah no probs."

"Good girl."

That night, I willed myself to think of Kyle's handsome face as I worked with my new toys. Ginny's present had now become 'Lightyear' at Leanne's insistence and my own purchase was now re-named 'Mr. Tickle'. She was already working out how to resource one like my new Lightyear.

The problem was, as hard as I tried to envision Kyle, all I could see were smouldering dark eyes, a sensuous mouth, wide-open showing perfect white teeth; long black hair falling across her face as she came at the same time as me.

Had Charlie heard me that night, she really would have heard me crying.

But I was crying because I wanted Ginny leClerc to be there with me, not a stupid fucking boy.

Six

It was strange - I had only been vaguely aware of Ginny as she rode around the village before we had met properly and started doing the sessions with her. Now we were 'estranged', I was tripping over her everywhere. As Roly had got a bit bigger she was taking him out more and more and so they were in Village Grind more often. They were also in the pub more often, and the problem with that was - so was I. One of Eric's regular barmaids was on holiday so I volunteered to do a few shifts here and there to help him out. I had done some waitressing and glass collecting during holidays when I was under-age, so I knew pretty much what was in store. It also got Leanne off my case for being a lazy old slob in the holidays with no part-time job.

My next encounter with Ginny and Roly was inevitably in the coffee shop - I couldn't stay away forever. I was getting a latte-to-go to drink before my lunchtime shift. Leanne was pouring and frothing when the door-bell tinkled. I somehow knew instinctively who it was going to be even before I heard Leanne say, "Hi Gin!"

I closed my eyes as I felt little paws on the backs of my legs. I turned and saw a cute, sad little face gazing up at me. I knelt down and nuzzled him, whispering, "Hiya little fella. Will you stop it with those fucking sad eyes?" I ruffled his ears and kissed the top of his head.

I heard a sigh from above. "Lucky Roly..."

I was rescued by Leanne. "Here you go Tess." She handed me the coffee and I waved my card at the machine distractedly.

Not trusting myself to look at Ginny, I pushed gently past her. She caught my arm. "He really misses you, Tess."

I shrugged myself free. "Yeah, you said when you caused me to make a bloody idiot of myself on the cricket field."

Her voice was quiet. "Sorry, Tess - I never meant-"

I opened the door and took a step. "Miss him too..." I didn't dare add that I missed her also. I fled across the green again and into the sanctuary of the pub.

It was pretty quiet during the early part of the week at lunchtimes and Eric had decided to close for the afternoon. I was serving a pint to one of the old-timers in the snug bar when I heard a familiar voice in the lounge.

"Afternoon Eric. A nice large cabernet sauvignon please!"

Oh not again! Was she stalking me or something? First the cricket ground, then Village Grind, now here. As a couple more regulars came in I was aware of her ordering food as I pulled their pints. I resolved to stay on that side of the pub and avoid her if I could.

I succeeded until Eric intervened. "Tess, Miss LeClerc's sandwich is ready. Sorry, got a big round on here - table six please!"

Oh great - here we go again. And there was no dog to distract me this time; he must be down for his afternoon nap.

She looked up at me, a little smile on her face as I put the plate down in front of her. "Merci!"

"Any sauces, cutlery madam?" My voice sounded hollow.

"Non, merci. C'est bon!" She took a sip of wine as I made to go. "Thank you Tess. What time do you finish?"

Before I knew what I was doing I said, "Three. Eric's closing for the afternoon as it's quiet."