Dazed and Confused

She looked at me evenly. "Fancy that walk we never got to do?"

"No... I don't... look, Ginny... oh fuck..." I went on in the same vein for a moment until I realised I was babbling; making no sense at all, my hands wringing in the pocket of my apron. She was smiling at my discomfort, her wine glass to her lips.

I turned back to the bar and had almost reached it when I stopped.

I thought of the nights I had wished she was with me. I thought of what Leanne had said.

I walked back to her table and blurted out, "Ok, see you at yours - three-thirty." Before she could react, I turned and went back to pulling pints wondering what the hell I had just done.

Just before I left, I poured myself a cheeky little vodka and tonic for courage. I hung up my apron and changed from my black pub-logoed polo shirt into my habitual cricket shirt. I made another diagonal across the green feeling sick to the stomach as I approached her cottage. She must have seen me through the window as she met me as I came off the green at the end of the path. She was wearing large sunglasses, her thick black hair held back in a band. Same jeans, her usual long boots and a tight leather jacket over a lovely blue flowered blouse. I felt a tightening in my chest as I saw her. I wanted to feel her pull me in to a soft, warm embrace.

As if nothing had happened in recent days, she linked my arm and we set off on the path behind her row of cottages into the surrounding woodland.

"You batted well the other night!"

"I was shit." It came out rather more tersely than I had meant it to.

I realised how much I had missed her sing-song voice. "Ah sorry, I told you I knew little about it. You looked fine to me. You suit that long pigtail and Josie and Izzy's company colour makes for a nice uniform!"

At least that gave me something to talk about. We seemed to have abandoned French so I assumed this was not a 'session'. "Yeah that's our colours when we play the twenty-over evening games - nice fetching pink shirts and caps. We wear traditional white when it's the longer afternoon games." I was curious. "So how do you know Josie and Izzy then?"

She let out a little laugh. "Tess, when you are of my persuasion and there are ladies like Josie and Isadora in the vicinity, it is not long before paths cross. They have regular little get-togethers at Izzy's old apartment in Brighton."

"Get-togethers? That's what my Mum and Dad call family reunions. In this case it sounds like a polite word for something a bit more..."

"Naughty?"

"If you say so."

She pointed at a path running off up into the distance through the trees. "Tess, if I told you what went on, you'd be running up there like you chased that ball the other night - except you'd climb to the top of the highest tree you could find."

"Ah."

"Ah indeed."

"Strange - they make such lovely cakes and seem such nice ladies."

Ginny stopped and looked at me. "They are nice ladies. The best - as are their cakes. You should see the stuff they do for the school - utterly incredible." We continued walking. "But not as incredible as their other skills. I love going there. I think given time, you'd love it too, Tess."

My turn to stop. "No I wouldn't, Ginny. Come on, I'm not a virgin, but I'm hardly fucking orgy material, am I?"

She raised an eyebrow. "Are you not? Maybe, but I have a pretty good instinct. I see something of me at your age in you." She put a hand on my shoulder. "I used to run from certain situations I now run towards very fast!"

I hung my head, conflicting emotions washing over me. I was in a whirl; completely dazed, confused and bewildered. Part of me wanted her to pin me to the nearest tree and make me scream - the other part of me wanted to climb the tree like she had said and hide until she was gone - preferably back to France.

I looked at her. "Ginny, I think you are a wonderful person and I hope we can be friends for a long time. But I'm almost scared stiff to touch you in case you try something on!"

She took off her sunglasses and her dark eyes were shining in the sunlight. "You mean like this?"

Before I knew what was happening, those soft, wide lips closed over mine and I felt her hands running down my back. I stiffened in her grasp and kept my mouth closed as she probed with her tongue. I was utterly numb and didn't know how to react. She felt so soft, so gentle but something inside was screaming at me that it was all wrong.

As she became more insistent, I slapped her on the shoulder and tried to pull away. I felt myself kicking her booted legs and it was only when I pulled her ponytail hard that she let me go.

She grinned. "Wow, thought we'd save the rough-stuff for later-on!"

I wiped my mouth on my sleeve and looked at her. "There won't be a later-on, Ginny."

She hooked her arm back into mine. "Yes there will." Her eyes were sparkling. "Are you not curious?"

I felt myself redden. I didn't dare tell her about Leanne. "Part of me is... I don't know, it just seems... wrong!"

She sighed. "God, you bloody repressed Brits, eh? As soon as I started to feel... urges, I wanted to try everything. I made sure the first six letters of my name disappeared as soon as possible. Once I had felt my little cherry pop, I became Ginny and Virginie was no more."

"Shame, it's a nice name."

"Yes but as an old friend said, not exactly very appropriate!" She slipped her arm from mine and put it around my shoulders. "Sorry, I am making you feel uncomfortable. Just because I'm a sex-mad nympho doesn't mean everyone else is, eh?" She looked at me slyly. "Doesn't mean I won't stop trying, though!"

She was silent for a few paces and then whispered something barely audible. "We will sleep together, Tess - make no mistake!"

We walked on and I knew she was right. After the feel of her lips on mine, the softness of her hair, her scent, her accent - I was lying to myself.

It was only a matter of when.

Only a matter of when I could pluck up the courage to return the kiss that I could still feel on my lips. To feel her tongue probe again and this time to respond. For a split second, I almost succumbed but I felt the woods was not the place and if we started, we may give some of the dog-walkers from the village a little show they had not bargained for.

To my relief, Ginny moved back to French, which I took as a sign that we were back on normal ground. I found it incredible that she could just switch off from the kind of talk we had just been engaged in.

Then I realised. She had got what she wanted from this encounter. She had broken down another barrier.

As we walked on through the countryside, I wondered how many more barriers I had left.

We walked for miles and it was almost five-thirty when we arrived back at her cottage. "Come in, say hi to Roly?"

In my head I said 'no.'

"Yeah, ok."

As she opened the door, I was hit by a little furry Exocet missile. He was starting to hit harder as he got bigger, but he was still a cute little bundle of fun. Before long I was kneeling on the floor, tickling his tummy as his hind legs kicked and he laughed and giggled in his doggy way. We played for a few minutes then Ginny scooped him up and looked into his eyes.

"Now Roly be a good boy, because Mummy and her nice friend Tess are going upstairs for a little while." She looked at me with hope in her eyes. "Maybe even a long while..."

I stood and shook my head. "I'm going upstairs, Ginny - but only to wash my hands. I've got to be back at the pub at six when it re-opens. I promised Eric I'd take Alison's shift as she can't do tonight."

As I scurried upstairs to wash Roly off my hands I heard an exasperated sigh and a few French expletives.

She was waiting by the front door with Roly in her arms, holding it open. She made to give me a hug and an air-kiss. Not trusting myself, I pulled away and stepped onto the path.

I looked across the green to the distant pub and back to her. Was the pub an excuse? Would I have gone up with her otherwise? I gave her a little smile. "Sorry." I set off down the path.

I heard her voice behind me, soft and low. She was more talking to herself than to me. "Fucking hell, Tess, will you please stop running away?"

I thought about her all the way across the green and I was dreading my shift. Luckily the pub was busy and my feet never touched the ground as I pulled pints, made a half-decent effort at shaking a few cocktails and somehow managed to get most of the food orders right.

But every now and again, I'd think back to how it felt when her lips touched mine. So soft, so warm and inviting. The feel of her arm around my shoulder, the sound of her voice with that lovely accent.

I was day-dreaming about her tongue pressing between my lips when I realised I was having another 'cricket field' moment. This time it was Eric, not Joyce that brought me crashing back to reality.

"Erm, earth to Miss Prior?"

I looked up in shock to find him grinning at me. "If it's not too much trouble, Alf and Terry would like a pint each before we close tonight!"

Apologising, I began pulling the wrong beers before old Alf corrected me. I thought ruefully that Leanne should be doing this job. With the six handpumps Eric had on the bar, she'd get plenty of exercise on her bowling arm and she'd be slinging them down faster than Amy Simmonds in no time.

Things quietened down after ten o'clock and I began to look forward to my session with Lightyear and Ginny in my mind's eye. I was bending down re-stocking the soft drinks cabinet when I heard her voice again.

"Evening, Eric. Can you believe I'm out of wine at home! A nice large glass of your finest Chablis please!"

Finest Chablis? I knew where Eric got his wine from, so she was going to be disappointed in that regard. And if Virginie leClerc really was out of wine at home, I'd swear Roly was a cat.

"Merci, Eric. Is Tess in tonight?"

I felt something midway between elation and fear that she was asking about me.

Eric's gruff voice. "Yeah, been a busy lass - we've been pulled out tonight. Think she'll be glad to get home to bed!"

"What time are you closing?"

"I'll be calling last orders at a quarter to eleven."

There was a smile in her voice. "Ok, great - time for another sneaky one after this!"

Once again I tried to avoid her. I could see her sitting in a quiet corner reading her Kindle, occasionally sipping at her wine as the pub gradually emptied. There were just a few diehards left as Eric rang the bell and called last orders. I saw her make her way over to the bar.

Eric turned to me. "Just sorting the till out, Tess - can you get Ginny's order please?"

She put her empty glass on the bar top, an amused look on her face. "Cabernet Sauvignon - grand s'il vous plait?"

"Pas Chablis?"

I wasn't surprised when she pulled a face and turned up her nose.

I poured her wine and put it in front of her. She proffered her card but I waved it away. "Sur la maison."

She inclined her head. "Tres gentile, merci!" She took a sip. "Salut!"

She gave me a long smouldering look that made me redden. She turned and I watched her go back to her seat and served the last few pints of the evening. A few minutes later, Eric turned to me. "Good shift, thanks Tess - really helped me out tonight. You can get off now if you like."

As I went into the back room, I heard Ginny once more. "Is Tess still here, Eric?"

"No, think she's gone home. Anything you need?"

She sounded disappointed. "Just wanted to arrange another French lesson with her. No worries, I'll catch up with her soon. Night Eric!"

"Night Ginny."

In my mind's eye, a pair of wide, soft pink lips closed in on mine. I tried to imagine what her breasts would look like. Whether she was shaven or if it was as unruly as mine. I had licked my new Lightyear and enjoyed my own taste. I wondered with a shudder what Ginny would taste like.

I had wondered earlier how many barriers I had left.

I now knew.

I took a deep breath and opened my phone. I typed in a message. 'Hey Mum, sorry forgot with being so busy - Ginny's away again so looking after Roly at hers. See you tomorrow, Love T x'

I took off my apron and quickly changed once more. I grabbed my bag. As I emerged from the pub I could see a figure in the distance in the light of the full moon. Her shoulders were hunched as they had been when she walked out in the rain a few weeks earlier.

I let her get to the far edge of the green before I followed her. I fought down a rising sense of panic as I walked down her path, trying not to crunch on the gravel too hard. As I knocked on the door, I tried to force my heart back down from my throat into my chest.

I looked up into her eyes as she opened the door. "Bonjour - je m'appelle Tess. Je suis ici pour la lecon avec Mme. leClerc."

She leaned on the doorpost looking at me for a very long time, her eyes misting over. Finally she held a hand out. I took it and stepped inside.

The front door closed and I felt those lips touch mine once more. This time I opened my mouth to hers. Her tongue was soft and warm as she gently slid it between my parting lips. I could taste the Cabernet on her breath. As I responded to her and flicked my tongue against hers, she became a little more urgent and began sucking on it softly. I felt her hands slide up inside my cricket shirt.

She broke our kiss briefly and laughed at my attire. "Mmm fucking sexy!"

I could barely breathe. "Better than the pub polo shirt I was wearing!"

She started nibbling on my lower lip as her hands explored, scratching my tiny nipples making me shiver. She put her hands into my hair, piled up and pinned elaborately on top of my head.

"May I?"

I nodded as she unpinned me and felt my hair cascade down around my shoulders. It fell across my face, obscuring one eye. She exhaled deeply then gently brushed it back, tucking it behind my ear.

There was a tremble in her voice. "Now that was fucking sexy."

I was crushed between the hardness of front door behind me and her soft, voluptuous body as she ground against me. Her mouth closed over mine once more and I felt her large breasts squeeze against my tiny pimples. Her nipples felt huge. Our hands were everywhere, exploring every inch of each other as lips, tongues and teeth worked their magic. I felt her thigh gently pressing between my legs and parted them to allow her access. The material of her blue jeans and my black ones began to rub together in an alarmingly pleasant manner.

We were breathless when we finally parted. She put her hands on my shoulders and looked at me levelly. "Tess, you had me at 'Oops' the first day, you know that don't you?"

I swallowed hard and shook my head.

She went on. "Tess, I've slept with God knows how many men and women in the last ten years, but when I first saw you on my doorstep..." She closed her eyes and held both hands out in front of her, fingers closed together. She flicked them open. "Poof! It was like the New Year fireworks all going off together."

She inclined her head to the staircase. "Shall we?"

"Take it slow please Ginny."

She nodded. "Bien sur. Maybe a glass of wine before we begin properly?"

It came out in a breathy rush. "Yeah, that would be nice."

As she headed to the kitchen a tired little head popped up from his basket. I followed her in.

I knelt down and tickled Roly's ears. "Never thought for a minute you were a pussycat!"

Ginny gave me a strange look as she picked up a bottle from the fridge and two glasses. "What did she say, Roly?"

I looked up at her. "Just something I overheard in the pub." I mimicked her accent. "Evening Eric, Can you believe I'm out of wine at home!" I changed back to my own voice. "I bet myself that if you were out of wine Roly was Monsieur Pussycat."

She grinned and looked at the well-stocked wine-rack. "Oops!"

I looked at her seriously. "Yeah - 'oops'. So you were stalking me then, eh? In that case Ginny, forget the wine. I've got somewhere else to be."

I turned and walked down the hall, my stomach lurching at the thought of what I was about to do. I felt breathless. This was it. If I didn't act now I'd never have the courage to do it again. I couldn't lose Ginny. My mind was made up.

Her voice was almost desperate. "No, Tess - please don't run away again!"

I stopped at the foot of the stairs and put my hand on the rail. Slowly I pulled my cricket shirt over my head and draped it over the banister rail. There was a crackle of static and my hair fell over my face again. I heard a low moan of longing from the end of the hall.

I tucked my hair back behind my ear and flipped the top button of my jeans.

I smiled and held my hand out to her and began to slowly walk up the stairs.

"Who's running?"