All Comments on 'Dead and Horny Ch. 03'

Mike’s world seems to get more complex with each chapter. This one gives us more insight into Lily’s origin, but in many ways opens up more questions than it answers. I’ll be awaiting the next installment with baited breath.

Thank you for your efforts on this.

I was pleased to see that you will be putting out your second e-book. I will be definitely picking up both volumes and restarting the story (I’ve got to review the significants of Lily’s necklace).

Stay well.

When Lily finds out he stole her necklace, well let's say I'm glad I'm not Cyrus. It might be just an ordinary necklace to anyone else, but to her it's priceless.

Bravo! Thanks for sharing! 5* Slainté

Well done again. Enjoy your book tour, looking forward to more great writing

AAAIIIEEE! The Order will make its way to the Home!

I have read and reread these chapters and HFHM.

I love the stories, and characters. I feel its a real place that I to could walk past without seeing. DaH is finally giving background on Lily I've wondered about. Looking forward to More and More of these stories.

Thank you so much for sharing.

Steve

Love reading anything HFHM. Almost automatic five stars and D&H is no exception. Au contraire.

This time, however, a glitch in the matrix. First Lily says: "The Order of Zeus, Merlin, Oprah, it's just a name at this point" and two dozen paragraphs later, she explains that "the motivation is in the name itself. The Order exists to maintain order". So the name is meaningless, except it isn't. Bit of an unsightly crack in the porcelain.

But, you know, details. Five stars, and giggles @ Oprah.

You normally have your fights planned out much better than this (and able to be followed). What gives?

None of the them noticed that Dana didn't spurt blood across the room and out the door from having a major artery sliced open? And the order lets the wizard go in to fight while the brave knight stands out of sight in the hallway?

For being trained and experienced in magical combat, Cyrus is looking like a bumbling fool for not using the tools available to him. One hair from a brush or a bit of flesh stuck on the sword is all his watch needs to tell him exactly what happened. He didn't even question Lily closely to get the answers he wanted, though presumably, he was running out of time with his spell.

Lily knows major magic is going on and doesn't even tell Dana she is going to investigate? Better yet, she knows the Order is looking for them and does not immediate grab Dana and flee? Then she isn't the least bit alarmed when confronted with an obviously powerful member of the Order she has just been warning Dana about? She doesn't immediately think of Dana when she knows Cyrus should be paired with a knight?

Consider getting an editor or co-writer with experience in these sorts of combats. You have tremendous talent, but I recommend you consider a major rewrite of this chapter before moving forward.

And more about Tick Tock!

Keep it up I love the story no mater what others say ,you are doing a great job keep them coming .

Why don't you F... OFF. This is not a professional writer site, it's fantasy and erotica. Leave the writer to put pen to paper as she wish. Stop trying to steal her work by trying to become her "co-writer"

Writerannabelle, keep doing what you're doing, us, your fans love and enjoy it.

TK

To Suggestion --

You're entitled to your own opinions, of course. You make some good points, but there are also some things you have overlooked in your critiques.

First, the Order thinks Dana is a witch, so they're expecting magic. Tasia was unsurprised at the lack of blood because she's expecting a mage, and who knows what protections might be in place.

Second, Lily is off-center. She's started dreaming, which is new and unsettling to her, and the dreams are about her origin, which is even more unsettling, especially because of the memories of her demonic origin are painful -- and not just physically, but also mentally, emotionally, and more important, spiritually. Lily is smart, but she's not in top form. Imagine doing evil deeds for centuries without a thought of remorse, and now, after her bargain with Mike, she has to evaluate her deeds and potential victims. But now she's also becoming aware of just how debased she's become, how cruel and evil and yes, how damned she is by the nature of the creature she was forced to become. I think Lily's doing quite well, considering.

If you haven't read "Last of Her Kind," I suggest you do so. Cyrus, too, was extremely rattled, and Lily awakened some deep-seated fears for him. He also appears to be becoming obsessed with banishing Lily, and those who are obsessed make mistakes, and make more as time goes on.

Slainté

Another great chapter. But I have to agree with some fellow readers and find it a little odd that the Order acted a little stupid this time around. I hope this will be adressed or just vanish next chapter.

Other than that: Excellent work, once again!

No idea how every chapter of every story is original, impeccably written and ....

after about 70 chapters, a trivial error.

Technically things get vaporised into .... vapour.

I feel mean posting this.

H

Again, I enjoyed the chapter immensely.

I did not enjoy the silly comment by "Suggestion". A stupid, unhelpful, unjustified comment.

You will always find one one person who carps* on your work. Keep going, and leave them behind.

*Oh sorry, I misspelt that word ...

Michael

I didn’t think the lack of blood was a big thing. My assumption was that it was a magical weapon and it did something along the lines of cauterizing the wound. I also assumed that they would have wanted to limit the amount of blood to ease in cleanup and avoid any unwanted attention.

I’m enjoying this spinoff quite a lot. I have been resisting reading the horny monsters series because I’m so far behind, but I think it will be my next binge.

Cyrus is certainly an interesing character.

Keep the awesome work !!

I can’t get enough

Please keep writing!

From Stone Carver

When lily stings someone with her stinger and pumps her super ahprodisiac venom into their veins, does it make their genitals super aroused and sensitive while they wander the dreamscape having sex with erotic women without splurting cum in the real world.

Because if that was the case then Ray's balls would have been filled to bursting point with thick gooey cum while his cock would have been extra hard from orgasming in the dreamscape

So that must mean it's easy for lily to make her victims have their death orgasm instantly instead of wasting time having sex with them herself in the dreamscape.

The fact that lily was able to swallow Ray's aroused soul so easily and quickly was because his cock was already at bursting point in his underwear, all lily had to do was straddle him and inhale.

Meant to comment on previous chapter,but oh well...

I caught up to you over at HFHM. I now realize I should have come here earlier. Another enchanting story. Thank you.

Oh, I wish I had read this before the HFHM chapter where Cyrus had appeared at the Radley house! Split milk. I started HFHM in late Aug 2021 and binged 73 chapters in 5 weeks. I’m now filling in the the days awaiting the ~10/6/21 release of chapter 74, with the DAH series. Poor Cyrus just lost his anal virginity. Oh well … Next will be the TLOHK series. Finn

I'd like to just go on the record snd say...

I don't like the Order.

hope Dana and Lily kick some serious butt soon...

So after last chapter when you said Cyrus was a returning character I immediately went and read ‘last of her kind’ . Any who haven’t done that need to stop and go read it right now !

Strong side adventure, with critical implications and reveals of the wider world beyond the Radley house.

I concur with other commenters: probably better to read "Last of Her Kind" right away-gives important background on characters encountered here, and it's just amazing.

Cyrus, oh dear Lily might be up against it this time but I'm sure she'll get away but when does the Order turn up at Mike's home in HFHM.

I'm assuming that Aladdin is Amir. Which means that he didn't just catch Lily but made her.

I love to learn more about her 😊

does Dizney know the true back story of Aladdin?

I wanna make your asshole gape wide open Miss Annabelle, I really do......

🤔I wonder ...how human is dreaming....

So, Lily is Princess Jasmine?

Noice.

Really hoping to see more erotic cock draining done by Lily. The things Lily does to these boys to kill them makes me so horny.

Cyrus seems pretty badass in this chapter.

Cool characters, cool fight scenes, and a interesting look into Lilly's past. So she was princess Jasmine? Interesting.