Dead and Horny Ch. 02

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HFHM Spin-off starring Dana, Lily and the mimic Tick Tock.
11k words
4.88
38.1k
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Part 2 of the 24 part series

Updated 10/26/2023
Created 05/24/2020
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Hi all! Here's the next chapter of Dead and Horny!

New reader? This story is a spin-off of Home For Horny Monsters and comes right after Part 2. It is written as a stand-alone tale, but will make a lot more sense if you've read my other monster works.

Returning readers, welcome back! As always, I will be posting a posting schedule in my bio, so check there for when I plan future releases. Thank you so much for the kind comments and letters from Chapter 1, starting a new story is way scarier than a normal post, and I appreciate the love, kindness and encouragement you've given me. Hopefully this tale is helping you pass a little bit of time and making the summer of 2020 suck just a little bit less.

Special thanks to T.J. Skywind for lending me a great pair of eyes, especially in regards to firearms.

Enough from me, off we go into my cross-country zombie/succubus lesbian adventure!

Into the Woods

Dana had watched most of the hotel's library of On-Demand movies by the time Lily came sulking through the front door sometime after dawn. Without a word, the succubus disappeared into the bathroom, and the shower kicked on.

Frowning, Dana checked the time. Why was Lily taking a shower? She figured that the succubus could just blink her eyes and become clean, or whatever, but maybe demons needed to bathe frequently to chase away the stink of sulfur.

Curious, she cracked open the door of the bathroom. The room was already so full of steam that she wondered if Lily had the shower on its hottest setting. She pushed the door open and moved toward the shower, her hand reaching for the curtain.

"Don't. Please, just... don't. I'll be out in a minute."

"You okay in there?" Lily sounded far from it, and this fact somehow shook Dana. "Did something happen?"

A few moments passed before the succubus responded. "Maybe. I'm not sure, but it's nothing you need to worry about."

"Lily, I'm here if you need to—"

"I don't. Just... give me a minute. Alone."

"Okay." She walked back out into the bedroom, then closed the door behind her.

A few minutes later, the shower turned off and Lily came strolling out of the bathroom, her hair wrapped up in a towel and a large, fluffy bathrobe.

Lily fell back onto the bed and crossed her legs. She was wearing her black, leather boots beneath the robe. "Ah. I'm feeling much better now."

"I hope so." Dana looked out the window. "We should probably get a move on, don't you think?"

The succubus smirked and pulled her towel off dramatically. As it fell, her outfit transformed into a sleeveless red leather jacket and black leather pants. She stood up and shook her head, causing a black cap to appear on her head.

"I'm already ready, and you don't even have your shoes on."

"Some of us don't get the benefit of a magical wardrobe." Dana put her shoes on and grabbed her helmet from the desk. The helmet had been an impulse purchase shortly after starting their road trip. Not only did it hide her face, but it also meant that her brains were more likely to stay in her head if they crashed. While Mike's magic semen had curative properties, she didn't care to test the limits of it after having her brains scooped back into her head.

It also had a headset that allowed her to talk to Lily. That first six-hour stretch had become awfully dull with only the road ahead of her. She picked up the two headsets that had been charging on the nightstand and tossed one to Lily, who snatched it out of the air and tucked it into her ear.

"Feeling chatty?" she asked.

"You have to give me directions, remember?" The two of them left the room and headed for the elevator. When the door opened, they got inside, and Dana pushed the LL button for the lobby. "So where were you last night?"

"Ooh, are you getting jealous?" Lily smirked, then looked toward the door. "Maybe I was falling head over heels for some guy, loving how special he made me feel."

"Fine. Don't tell me."

"I love it when you're—" Lily went quiet when the elevator stopped and the door opened.

An older man in a long, dark gray coat stepped onto the elevator with them. His gray hair was cut short and the skin above his beard was cratered with scar tissue. He reeked of garlic and chickpeas, causing Dana to wrinkle her nose.

"Good morning." He gave both of them a smile and pushed the LL button. They all rode in silence, and he stepped out of the elevator and headed for the breakfast bar and they walked toward the front door. Crossing the lobby, Dana noticed Lily watching the breakfast bar with an odd look of discomfort on her face.

"Everything okay?" she asked.

Lily shrugged. "Just got a really odd vibe off of that guy. Doesn't usually mean anything."

"Odd how?"

"Hmm. Good question." They walked into the cold air of the morning and headed toward where the motorcycle was parked. "Not something I'm super familiar with, but I've heard humans describe it as an instinctual thing. Like, you meet someone and can tell something is off, like they are a serial killer or something like that."

"Wait, you think that guy...?"

Lily laughed. "No, nothing like that. I would know a serial killer if I met one. That shit is like catnip for a demon. That guy was maybe a priest, or even an actual exorcist or something. My best guess anyway."

"Priests make you uncomfortable?" Dana got on the bike and held her helmet up, waiting for Lily's response.

"Most don't, actually. It's exceedingly rare these days to find a holy man or woman who actually buys what they're selling." Lily stuck out her tongue, then pulled a helmet out of nowhere and slid it over her head. "Most people do it for money or power. They don't give a shit about God, it's all about finding people willing to believe in salvation in exchange for their obedience."

Dana switched on her headset and put her helmet on. The sentient motor started itself, and they pulled onto the main road that went through town. The powerful thrum of the engine made the zombie smile, and she revved the engine hard.

"So... you ever use a motorcycle engine to get yourself off?" Lily asked through the headset.

"Be a good girl today and I'll tell you."

"You're such a tease. I love it." Lily slid her arms around Dana's waist and held tight as they swung onto a few sideroads, avoiding the busier parts of town. With the college centrally located, they had quickly learned that traffic was absolutely shitty during normal school hours, but once they could get northwest of the downtown area, the traffic thinned out a bit, and Dana could really lay down some speed. They still needed to pass through a small part of the downtown area, and that's where she saw it.

Unearthly Delights, or what was left of it. The fire that had burned it and the surrounding buildings to the ground a couple of weeks ago had left little more than the foundation, and the entire area was surrounded by cyclone fencing. Rumor had it that the town of Fort Collins had a small network of underground tunnels from its smuggling days, and one of these tunnels was exposed by the fire. The tunnels themselves were prone to collapse, and multiple signs threatened trespassers with prosecution.

Not that Lily had cared. She had spent that first night they arrived on the other side of the fence, digging quietly for a sign of anything magical. Dana's job was to watch for drunken college students who wanted to wander down and check out what was left of the place.

"If only we had gotten here sooner," Dana mumbled.

"If wishes and buts were candy and nuts..." Lily began.

"Please, no," Dana begged.

"Then we'd all have a Merry Christmas."

"You know I hate that saying." Dana turned north on College Ave. It had been one of her dad's favorite things to tell her when things weren't going her way, and it still drove her crazy.

Lily's fingers slid up and caressed her rib cage from behind. "Then maybe you should quit complaining about something you can't change. It's super unattractive."

"Keep this up and I'm definitely never telling you about the time I got off while riding a bike."

Lily laughed, but said nothing else.

The town of Fort Collins vanished behind some trees and then they were in La Porte again. They passed by the Double Duece and went up the canyon toward the Red Feather Lakes. It was still a long ride, but it was very early in the morning in the middle of the week, which meant traffic was light. It was nearly eight in the morning when they turned off the main road. The wheels of the bike were jolted by a few hidden rocks, and Dana scowled.

"How much farther?" she asked.

"We've got a narrow turn at the top of this rise. After that, it should be a fairly smooth ride down into the next valley. If it hasn't rained."

Dana sniffed the air. "It smells like it has."

"Stay to the left on the road, then. It's less likely to be muddy."

"Dammit," she muttered under her breath. She slowed the bike, going around a few rough sections. She imagined a jeep or truck would fare better climbing over the large rocks in the road, but loose gravel and rough terrain meant a bumpy ride uphill. Lily leaned into Dana, the succubus' breasts pressing into her back. They reached the top of the hill, and they stopped the bike to look across the mountain range before them. Visible in a few spots were homes and cabins that had been built off the grid, many of them sporting solar panels.

Dana lifted her visor for a better look. "Doesn't seem like a bad place to get away from it all."

"We're high enough up that distances are deceiving. Those two homes are over a mile apart." Lily pointed to a pair of houses built on a rocky ridge. "Pick the right spot, and you don't have to worry about dealing with anybody ever."

"I'm guessing that's what our guy is doing." But why? What had caused Ray to disappear into the mountains?

"Up ahead, slow down or you'll miss it." Lily pointed off to the left and Dana almost missed it.

The path was tucked away in the shadows of a pair of trees, and ran back along where they had come. A car going the other way would see it easily, but nobody who was leaving would mistake it for their turn.

They drove down the trail for awhile, and Lily tapped her on the shoulder, then pointed to the side of the road.

Dana pulled over, then looked around. Where was she supposed to be going?

"Pull off here," Lily told her, then dismounted. "There's a spot on the ridge just past this point that can be seen from the cabin. I would prefer to get close in case he decides to bail."

"Why would he bail?" Nonetheless, she pushed the bike off the road and into the trees where nobody would see it. While Tick Tock would ensure it didn't get stolen, she didn't want to worry about it getting clipped by a passing car, or having someone lose a hand because they messed with a mimic.

"Why is he holed up in a cabin in the woods? Call it a hunch, but something happened. It might be related to the flask, or maybe the guy knocked over a gas station. It's not like he was keeping stellar company in town."

Dana shrugged, then looked up the road. "So we're walking?"

"Of course." Lily winked, and her outfit shifted around. Calf length boots, a hiking skirt, and a black shirt tied beneath her breasts to reveal her belly. Her hair was pulled back beneath a ballcap, and she wore a small hiking pack on her back. "After all, we're a pair of lost hikers staying at daddy's cabin by the lake."

Dana frowned.

"What? Is something wrong with my outfit?" Lily looked at herself.

"It's a bit much, but that's not it. Just wishing I could change my outfit whenever I wanted." Dana tossed her helmet underneath the bike. "Can I at least borrow the hat?"

"Ooh, would love to, but..." Lily pulled off the cap and put it on Dana's head. She took several steps back until she was about fifteen feet away, and the cap turned into a puff of pink smoke that fell around her shoulders. "I can maintain objects up close, but the last thing you want is for your outfit to fall apart at the wrong moment."

"What is it made of?" She watched the cap reappear on Lily's head.

"Same thing I am. Sugar and spice, and everything nice." The demon tugged down on the front of her shirt, the fabric ripping just enough to reveal cleavage and the edges of a red bra. "Better with tits out or in?"

She shook her head and laughed. "I've always been a fan of some tasteful sideboob."

"You're right." Lily grabbed her shirt and gave it a shake. The fabric rippled and became a tight black tank top with low cut armholes that revealed her breasts. The bra was gone, replaced by a tattoo along her ribs that said Live, Laugh, Love surrounded by floral script. "Tasteful enough?"

"Absolutely delicious. You gonna order a pumpkin spice latte when we get back to town?"

"Maybe after I get my Uggs waterproofed." Lily turned into the forest and pushed her way through some bushes, and Dana followed.

They ended up on what looked like a hunting trail, and the succubus lead the way up the mountain, eventually picking up a stick to hike with. The forest was alive with the sound of birds and insects, though Dana noticed they went quiet as the two of them passed through. Technically, Dana and Lily were both predators, and she wondered if the animals here could sense it.

Coming upon a small gully, they descended into it, following it up the hill. This required a few spots where they had to scramble over rocks to keep going, and Dana's mind wandered back a couple of summers to a trip that she had taken with Alex along the east coast.

They had ridden out together on Alex's bike, with little more than a popup tent and enough cash for a few meals. Alex had grown up along the Maine coast, spending her summers at a cabin her family owned, and she wanted to share the experience with Dana. The two of them had hiked some of the most beautiful landscapes that Dana had ever seen, ending up off the beaten trail more than once. Nights were spent on cliffs overlooking the ocean, falling asleep to the sound of the waves crashing against the rocks below with the undimmed canvas of stars above them their only source of light.

"Hey, you okay back there?"

"What?" Dana looked up and saw that Lily was about fifty yards ahead of her. Grimacing, she rushed to catch up, nearly tripping over a thick branch. When she got to Lily's side, she gave a mock salute. "Sorry about that."

"Lost in thought?"

She nodded. "Just thinking about the good ol' days, when I was still alive."

"Hmm." Lily looked up the mountain, then back. "Do you miss it? Being alive?"

"Of course I do. That's the whole point of coming out here, isn't it? Find some magic, bring it back to our resident enchantress and get her to undo what was done to me."

"But are you sure you miss it? Is it being alive that you miss, or the threat of being damned for all eternity if you aren't fixed?"

"I..." She scowled at the succubus. "I don't think now is the time to psychoanalyze my deadgirl issues."

Lily shrugged. "I mean, I'm just curious. Seems like you may be better off as you are. Why not consider embracing it? Isn't immortality what every human wants?"

"Not this human." She squinted through the trees at a bright spot between the leaves. "Is that a window?"

"Hmm? Oh, yeah, we're almost there. Hold up." Lily grabbed a handful of dirt and threw it in Dana's face.

"What the fu—" She inhaled another mouthful of dirt, then stuck out her tongue to scrape it clean with her fingers. Lily ran her fingers through her hair, and her appearance shifted so that she looked sweaty and dirty.

"We can't sell the routine if neither of us sweats. Without a little dirt, it looks like we got dropped off on his doorstep. How's that for one of your deadgirl issues?" She winked, and dirty smudges appeared on her cheeks as well as sweat stains on her tank top.

"Oh." Lily's argument made a lot of sense, actually. "You could have just told me instead of throwing dirt in my face."

"Yeah, but it's so hard to get a rise out of you. I think of it like a game." She moved up the hill.

Dana rolled her eyes and followed. When they stepped out of the woods and into the clearing of the cabin, they both looked around. It didn't seem like anybody was around, and the ranch-style cabin had all of its blinds closed. Up on the roof was an array of solar panels, and a large shed by the house had a sturdy lock on the door.

"Oh, hey!" Lily did a bouncy run across the yard toward the door. "Hello, is anybody home? We got lost in the woods and don't have our phones!" She pressed her face against the glass.

Dana walked up the front door and shook her head. The succubus was somehow the center of attention in the middle of the forest. She knocked on the door.

"Hey, is anybody there? We got lost and—"

The shotgun blast tore through the door and into her shoulder, the heavy slug shattering the joint. She spun around and a second blast through the door caught her in her exposed side and knocked her to the ground.

She screamed.

It wasn't pain that fueled her cry, but terror. Though death could not touch her, oblivion could, and if her attacker chose to step out and blow her head off, what then? The necromancer who had cursed her had explained that she would spend an eternity in a fugue state with no hope of rescue or crossing over to the other side. Damnation at its finest.

Lily shrieked and ran toward the woods. The door burst open, and a man with a scraggly beard pushed his way outside and pumped the shotgun he was holding. A hot shell whizzed through the air and landed in the dirt by Dana's face, the smell of sulfur drifting into her face.

"I'm not falling for your tricks!" He fired at Lily, who let out a long scream and threw herself dramatically onto the ground. When he chambered another round, Lily stood and limped toward the tree line. He stepped toward her and fired again, but Dana was back on her feet and grabbed him from behind.

Well, sort of. Her left arm didn't work anymore, and when he pulled the trigger, the shot went high. He howled in rage and twisted around, but she jumped onto his back and held on, figuring he couldn't get the gun between them that way.

"Let me go! I won't tell nobody!" he screamed, trying to pull her arm off his neck.

While she had the disadvantage of only one arm, she did have the advantage of never getting tired. She wrapped her legs around his waist, briefly debating whether to bite him and taste his flesh. He carried with him the odor of smoked meat and whiskey, and she imagined how tender his meat would be, going down easy like a pot roast.

Grunting and drooling, she was about to tear a piece out of his neck, just to see what it tasted like, when he let out a gasp and went limp in her grip. He fell in slow motion, revealing Lily. Her face was fixed in a scowl, and her wings and tail had emerged.

"Ray Scotes, I presume." Lily looked at Dana. "You okay?"

"Uh... I..." She wiped the drool from her chin with her functioning hand. "I've been better."

"Well, so has he." Lily reared her foot back and kicked Scotes in the face. There was a loud crunch, and blood gushed from his nose onto the dirt. To Dana, it smelled like wine. "Let's get this sack of shit inside."

"Um... I'll let you do it." She had stepped back several feet and was breathing from her mouth.

"Hmmm? Oh." Lily appraised her with a grimace. "Yeah, okay. You can eat him later, but let's find the flask first."

"There will be no eating of anybody." Dana watched from a distance while Lily set the shotgun onto his chest, then dragged Scotes back inside. She waited a minute before following them in, and frowned at what she saw.

What had once been a homey cabin looked more like the inside of a bunker now. Boards had been put up over the window curtains, and a nearby table was out of place by the entrance, and she wondered if it had been blocking the door.