Dead and Horny Ch. 22

Hi, all!

Annabelle Hawthorne has returned once again to bring you a story that has all the nuance of a kick in the tits with the nutritional value of a child's breakfast cereal. That's right, Dead and Horny has returned!

*Does a victory lap around my office*

For new readers, just don't bother. Seriously, don't. You are a very naughty boy/girl/enby and should be punished for trying. This story is nearly the end of a sequel to a spinoff to a multi-novel series about monstergirls, and you will have no idea what the fuck is going on. If being confused is your kink, make sure you sit on a towel.

Returning readers, welcome back! I'm excited to say that this story is going to wrap up in Chapter 24, so anyone with fan theories is going to be excited to find out just how right/wrong/way off base they were. I've gotten a lot of positivity from hardcore Dana/Lily fans and have enjoyed reading your letters! Thank you so much for indulging me in a little narrative off-roading as I do what Disney should have done and just had one tv show at a time between main features. (Loki was really good, but I blame that mostly on that sexy bastard Hiddleston)

Your excitement and enthusiasm has me p[umped to finish this story strong, so don't forget to check my bio to figure out when my chapter releases are! I try super hard to make sure I stick to those calendar dates, so you know exactly when you should avoid scheduling dinner plans with family you barely care about.

I won't keep you long. Go ahead and loosen up those wrists and grab a handful of dice. It's time to

Roll For Damage

There was a moment of silence as the entire congregation stared up at Eulalie. Shock, awe, fear. These were all expressions she had expected. It was all just data to the Arachne, filtered through multiple sets of eyes. She knew who was sweating, who was holding their breath, and who had pissed themselves.

Her whole life, she had been taught to see humans as anything other than prey. She could love them, hate them, or even ignore them entirely. As long as she saw them as something other than food to be eaten with disdain, she would flourish. It was the most important lesson her mother could teach her, and it was one that stuck.

But right now, her friends were in danger. Because of the demon in this room, she risked losing somebody else that she cared about, and she needed to disconnect. Now that she was about to face down a demon who had gone full-blown Agent Smith on her, it was time to see the world in a way that made her comfortable. Killing people? That wouldn't do. She had been raised better than that.

But a demon hivemind wearing meatsuits? That sounded like something out of a video game. Eulalie loved video games. When it came down to it, video games were really just bits of code, numbers that flowed through a processor to generate images. It didn't matter how many people you killed in a game, because it wasn't real at all.

Even with the members of the congregation shifting back and forth, she counted three hundred and twenty seven of them, and at least six of them had turned. Seventeen mercenaries were visible, two of which had turned. Down below and to her left, she heard the ominous sound of a round being chambered.

With a casual swipe of her hand, Mace shot forward and smashed into the armed attacker with enough force that a trail of gore coated the pews behind him. This distracted a zombie, which allowed the demons behind it to take it to the ground.

By the time she leapt forward from the stage, her body twisting in mid-air like a contortionist so that she could properly view the scene from above, Lily, Dana, and Tasia were already leaping into the fray. Lily barreled into a cluster of Legions while wearing a cheerleader's outfit with a football helmet. The werewolf swatted a man who fired two rounds into her, sending him flying across the room. And Dana...

Eulalie briefly marveled at the speed and fluidity demonstrated by the zombie. Dana moved as if this scene had been rehearsed, spinning around and cutting down her foes with her sword. The room was already soaked in blood, and there were now three hundred and twenty two enemies remaining. That thought played out in Eulalie's head like a video game announcer.

The Arachne landed silently behind the crowd, and grabbed hold of a demon who tried to run past her. With a practiced movement, she snapped the man's neck and tossed him aside, then kicked a nearby woman so hard that her shoes went flying off as she tumbled through the air. When one of the mercenaries aimed a shotgun in her direction, she sidestepped the blast and punched him so hard that his torso collapsed.

"Oh, fuck, I'm so sorry," she whispered in horror. Humans were far more fragile than she thought. Taking several deep breaths, she looked away from the mess she had made and closed her human eyes for a moment. Basking in the other visual spectrums made it easier to separate herself from reality, which would probably come up in therapy later.

She made a mental note to find a good therapist.

Somebody managed to fire their gun into Dana before she lopped off their arm. Though electronics were shut down by the frequency jammer Eulalie had hidden in the rafters, anybody lurking outside would hear the gunshots for sure.

"Just a game, just a game," she muttered, then held out her hand and willed Mace to return. The flying weapon leapt to her aid. She jumped up onto the wall and swung down at a pair of zombies that had run at her. If they bit her, would she turn? That would probably be very bad. Luckily, Mace had no problems dealing with the undead for her.

Eulalie felt a shift in the air currents and leapt to the side as a man up on the balcony opened fire on her location. He had entered through one of the side doors and had clearly noticed her first. Scrambling up the wall onto the ceiling, she looked over in time to watch the balcony get shattered from below by one of the demonic parishioners. Tasia had picked the woman up and thrown her like a missile, taking out the gunner.

"That was almost a fastball special," Eulalie muttered, then jumped down into the melee to knock some attackers off of Dana. The zombie had been swarmed by the congregation and had almost been disarmed. Dana made brief eye contact with Eulalie, and what the Arachne saw there scared her.

"Dana?" she asked, but her friend had already moved away to disembowel somebody.

Lily was having no problems as she stormed over, her tail whipping back and forth to sting people. A few demons were already snoozing between the pews, at least two of them being eaten alive by zombies.

"You and I are going to have a long talk when we get home," she declared, pointing angrily at Eulalie.

"You're not my mother," Eulalie replied defiantly. Though her comment had been intended as sarcasm, Lily's features twisted up as if she had been struck.

"You're right," replied the succubus as she lifted up a demon with her tail and strangled him. The man's legs kicked in the air, which attracted a zombie. "But you're still my friend."

Tasia howled in the corner of the room, and then the room erupted in gunfire as some of Legion's meatsuits picked up guns that the dead security team had dropped. Lily flared her wings, catching the fired rounds with her body. The bullets she didn't catch deflected off of Eulalie's chitinous armor.

"Can we have this moment later?" Eulalie tossed Mace casually to the side, allowing the weapon to slip away from her hands and into somebody's face. "This is how people get killed in movies."

Lily rolled her eyes and lowered her wings. The man hanging from her tail was now riddled with bullets, his eyes bugged out as his body tried to reanimate.

"Fuck it, whatever." She threw the man down. "But one more thing."

"Make it quick." Eulalie crossed her arms.

"We're all predators here. But that was never the reason you were special." Lily caressed Eulalie's cheek. "Spiders aren't just hunger and violence. They're also quite smart, it's why they have webs. You're one of the smartest people I know, so don't get caught up in the moment. Play to your strengths."

Eulalie stared at the succubus in awe. The spider comment was something her mother used to tell her all the time. Playing to her strengths was one of her dad's favorite sayings. She was unsure how to reconcile hearing both of these things from her friend.

Lily flared her wings and leapt up toward the balcony. "I'll be back in a minute," she declared with a grin. "Try to leave some for me."

Eulalie watched her friend go, then turned back to the mess that had erupted. Some members of the congregation had fled out the front door into the night, and she had no way of knowing if they were possessed or dead.

"Mace!" She held out her hand and the weapon smacked into it. "We've got some hunting to do."

The weapon shivered in delight as she ran out into the humid night air.

Gunsmoke. Blood. Fear. These were the primary scents that lingered in Tasia's nostrils as she tore into her foes. The demon's meatsuits only had the advantage of numbers as she slashed at them with her claws, ripping what little remained of her outfit with every movement. A man got too close and she snapped her jaws down around his neck and shook until she felt something snap. Satisfied, she dropped him on the ground and leapt forward at an old woman with a cane.

She winced at the staccato sounds of gunfire, heat and agony blossoming up her back. These bullets weren't silver, but each one brought pain similar to being stabbed with a hot knife. Growling in anger, she ripped one of the pews off of the ground and hurled it at the men and women who were now armed with guns. A squad of mercenaries came in through a side entrance and advanced, focusing their gunfire primarily on Tasia.

Tasia turned her back and hunched over, letting the bullets rip into her back. Already, her body was pushing the bullets back out, but a shot to the head would knock her unconscious if it didn't penetrate her skull. She saw the succubus leap up to the second floor, leaving the two of them alone. Eulalie was missing as well.

Despair welled up in the back of her mind, but the wolf forced it back down. Right now, they were a pack, and each of them had a role. It wasn't her job to question what came next, but to chase it down with teeth bared. Dana had taken several hits as well, and was covered in blood. Tasia had no idea how much of it belonged to Dana.

Legion swarmed forward, pushing Dana back. Nearly ten people had her in a crush as four of them grabbed at the zombie's hand to try and disarm her. Dana fought back with inhuman strength, but leverage wasn't on her side. All around her, Legion was doing battle with the zombies that were rising up. The new mercenaries hadn't noticed this, and were already dealing with an undead problem of their own.

Tasia crouched down, then leapt forward, becoming a wrecking ball of teeth and fangs. She felt the rest of her dress rip free and grabbed her sword out of habit. Steam rose from her palms as the defensive magic of the sword bit into her.

She brought her blade down over and over again. It wasn't the grace of Tasia the knight. In fact, it barely resembled the years of study she had devoted to it. The blade was little more than a fancy butcher knife in her hands. She could do far better on her own.

Dana squirmed free, crawling back on stage where Tasia joined her. The zombies were far more interested in Legion than anyone else, but the demon was moving in. Tasia stood over Dana, crouching down to help shield her from the incoming rounds that were being fired by anyone who had managed to arm themselves.

"This is a mess," Dana grumbled, then tilted her head back to look up at Tasia. Her blue eyes had gone gray, and they lingered on Tasia's muzzle.

Tasia grunted in acknowledgement. Blood dripped from her torso and splashed on Dana's shoulders. She contemplated it for a moment before looking up into Tasia's eyes.

"Stop me if this goes bad," she said, then wiped her hands through Tasia's blood and stuck her fingers in her mouth. Her eyes rolled back in ecstasy, and she shuddered in delight.

Tasia remembered what had happened in the beach house and thought back to Dana's tale of the Nirumbi. Whatever happened next, they would need that additional edge if they wanted to survive. She briefly contemplated the sword in her own hands before coming to a decision.

Tasia was no longer a Knight of the Order. This blade had been her life once upon a time, but those days were gone. If she ever hoped to progress in understanding herself, she needed to stop letting the Order hold her back. She jammed the point of the blade into the stage, causing it to wobble in place as she crouched down on all fours and let out a howl.

"That's my girl," Dana whispered, her words barely audible.

Tasia charged into the fray once more, delighting in the terror and blood that followed. Her prey was not strong enough to stop her, nor was it strong enough to defeat the pack. Legion was making efforts to flee, but the zombies were just as fast. Pockets of fighting had broken out everywhere and the gunfire was no longer focused on Tasia or Dana.

Tasia targeted the demons first. The zombies wouldn't leave, driven only by their blind hunger. Although Legion was essentially a hive mind, the demon had become so scattered that the advantage of numbers no longer mattered.

Stepping around a zombie that was eating a parishioner, Tasia tore into a couple of men who had tried to flee. She broke the back of one and tossed him to the zombies before pinning the other down beneath her claws.

"You ruined everything!" Legion yelled so hard that the skin of his face turned red.

Tasia responded by disemboweling him, then kicked him across the room where he could become food for something else. Sometimes actions were better than words.

The front door of the church exploded, revealing the vampyr, Timotei.

"You!" he shrieked, his eyes so wide that vessels had burst. "It's because of you that he took Mila from me!"

Tasia growled, then stood to her full nine foot height.

"I'll kill you!" The vampyr became a blur, kicking Tasia in the gut so hard that she toppled over a pew and fell on top of a trio of zombies that were feasting on a corpse. The zombies grabbed her, and she howled in pain as their teeth broke her flesh. Hot fire raced through her blood, extinguishing the virus that would change her.

At least, she assumed it was a virus. To be fair, she had no idea what mechanism Dana's undead status functioned by. She was just glad that her own status as a werewolf cancelled it out.

Timotei leaped on top of her, swatting the zombies aside as he straddled her chest and punched her hard in the mouth. A tooth cracked, then fell out when she opened her jaws wide and bit down on Timotei's head. This started a dramatic tug of war where the vampyr tried to shake her off while digging his claws into her fur. The two of them became a tumbling ball of rage and hatred as they rolled into the aisle and back toward the stage. Tasia didn't mind, though. Despite all her wounds and the throbbing sensation in her jaw, she was finally having fun.

One moment, Dana had been back in the kitchen with Daryl. It was the day she had been murdered, and she just stood there and listened to his instructions. Dimly aware that this was yet another memory, all she could do was watch and wait. It wasn't until she felt the hot taste of fresh blood in her mouth that she finally snapped free.

Now she was up on a stage, standing before hundreds of people. Legion was dying before her eyes as the zombie virus ripped through the demon's meatsuit. The thing Dana had always prayed wouldn't happened had now come to pass, like a grim prognosis.

The room was full of demons, but she strictly had eyes for the undead. No matter what happened next, she had to make certain not a single one of them left this place intact. Looking out at the men and women gathered before her, she decided that none of them could leave, just to be safe.

"Roll for initiative, bitches!" Eulalie threw Mace into the audience and leapt from the stage as both Lily and Tasia joined her. Dana moved to join them, the taste of human blood fresh in her mouth. Her blade came down on a man nearby, and then the church vanished.

"Ah, hell yeah!" Velvet pumped her arms in the air as Bigfoot pulled several wooden figurines from behind his seat and set them on the battlemap. Eulalie danced from side to side as Bigfoot adjusted their positions on the board.

"After months of searching, the cult of Baal has finally revealed themselves. Roll for initiative." Bigfoot grinned at Dana, who had already tossed her dice on the board.

"Sixteen," said Eulalie.

"Ugh. Four." Velvet scowled at her die. "I think mine is cursed."

"I got a twelve." Dana frowned at the miniatures. "So what's the plan? There are a ton of these guys, and I don't think I have any AOE attacks."

"That's why you should always buy some alchemist's fire." Eulalie picked up her character sheet. "Oh, shit. I used all of mine on that troll."

"Are any of the cultists goblins?" asked Velvet with hope in her voice.

Bigfoot shook his head. "Nope. Though they are humanoid, none of them are your favored enemy."

"Crap baskets. How much HP is everybody at?" Velvet looked at Dana, her face freezing in place. Soft lines of concern wrinkled near her eyes, yet she was smiling. She was happy.

A bullet tore into Dana's side, and she swung her blade down, taking off the gunman's arm. Though she didn't need to breathe, she gasped for air. Taking a better stance, she dropped down into the melee, kicking one demon away as another tried to grab her hair. With fresh, living blood churning away in her stomach, she felt the emotions come.

"Ah, fucking hell." Eulalie pulled a bag made of spider silk from beneath the table and rummaged through it. "I shouldn't have missed, I think that die is broken."

"That's what you always say," Velvet said with a laugh. "You're just shit at rolling."

"Then why don't you let me use that random number generator, huh? I'd at least be guaranteed a statistical spread."

"No tech at the table," Bigfoot declared, then paused to sip his beer. "I like how the dice sound when they roll," he added for Dana's benefit.

"I've got a potion you can have." Dana looked at her character sheet. "But I need to get it to you and it isn't my turn yet."

"Ha! I can handle this." Velvet studied the board. "Even if you take an attack of opportunity, you should be able to get to her. Then I can cover your back."

"Are you sure?" Dana frowned at the board. "What's your health at, anyway?"

"It's fine." Though Dana had only known the Arachne sisters for a couple of days, she could tell Velvet was lying. "Besides, even if I go down, Lala can resurrect me. There's a certain priest that owes her a favor." Velvet licked her lips seductively.

"Gross," replied Eulalie. "But accurate."

Hands clasped around Dana's neck, squeezing so hard that the blood fought to push its way to her brain. Pulled so suddenly to the present, Dana actually reached out with her free hand in an attempt to pull that memory forward once more. It was a cherished memory, one that she revisited often.

Yet in this moment, it was painful, like the exposed nerve of a tooth. Her vision shimmered as tears formed, blurring the angry faces of those around her. It was Legion, looking at her through many different faces. They nearly had her disarmed.

Eulalie dropped down from above, clearing enough of the congregation away that Dana was able to slip free. The moment froze, and she could see the agony hidden beneath the surface of the Arachne's face. There was anger, pain, and maybe something else. Fear? Regret? Dana's heart was pounding so loudly in her chest that she couldn't concentrate.