All Comments on 'Dealing with Jessie Pt. 04'

I guess if she is as hot as described in other chapters and the guy is horny then go ahead and have sex. But after what she has been doing as company whore there would be no kissing and definitely an industrial sized condom. And this would not be gentle making love. It would be screw her like a road side whore that she is.

I will continue to read but I really hate how this guy is dragging along like a freakin puppy when he could be away from the nut case and still have his kids.

Your story is inconsistent, it makes no sense and it’s boring. I don’t know what you’re trying to do and I don’t even care. She hugs him after a volleyball game but tells him to fuck off after saving her from a thief with a gun? And then telling everyone Gary abuses her mentally and physically? Why would anyone accept that they reconciled or accept him?

Mans considering they both accepted and signed the divorce paperwork, they aren’t married. It’s not his “soon to be ex wife”, she is his ex wife. This bullshit about the divorce not being finalized is stupid.

It’s honestly like you’re just throwing words on a screen and hoping the bullshit makes sense and I gotta tell you...it doesn’t. So just stop writing.

For the love of god and what little self respect you have, stop writing.

I really don't know where this story is going. One minute Gary has a set of balls the next he really is a wimp. Of course most of the dialogue is in his head so its the back and forth of any internal conversation concerning life altering events and the ultimate decision concerning said events.

That said as far as I am concerned Gary is a loser. He left his dog behind and knows Daisy is being treated poorly if not abused! No man that cares for his dog would stand for that. No man that cared for his dog would tolerate such actions by anyone. That is the line that made me write off Gary as a wimp, a loser and a shitty fried to his dog Daisy

Again, for those who are impatient for the next chapter, all nine chapters are up on storiesonline.net

I'm enjoying the ride. Thanks for writing.

IMO this has makings of a decent story but makes for a laborious read, repetitive. Then again, I’ve never written a story and mostly enjoy your work. Just saying.

You say the people don't make sense. Like wow, does anyone make sense?

I'm sorry if you don't like it. Maybe you should either stop reading or stop trying to make it be something you want.

Carvohi is as bat-shit crazy as his characters.

So far I am enjoying this story very much. I really do not understand the low scores.

Is she drugged on something?

Pre-menapausal; hormones out of wack?

Or, just plain BSC (Bat-Shit Crazy)???

It must be Heaven to walk around not knowing, or not caring, how stupid and ignorant you are. It must be Heaven to carry on conversations with people who are clearly manipulating you, and you neither know nor care. Total bliss is when you eat shit and taste chocolate.

they broke up in december and hadnt had sex for a while before that

meaning that for the kid to be his she would have to be more than 7 months pregnant, she isnt even showing so she is less than 4 months, meaning she most likey got pregnant in feb/march

8-12 weeks after she threw him out

as unmotivated. Part of writing a convincing story is developing recognizable characters. They can be flawed, somewhat inconsistent, etc, but in this case, Gary, as a human being, is unrecognizable. His character isn't inconsistent; it's incoherent. Unfortunately, it's the incoherence that is dragging this story out. That's why, as someone wrote, the writing becomes tedious. Gary just keeps changing to keep the story going. Technically the writing is quite good. As a prolific, longtime author some other the other authors and readers will circle the wagons. But, having read Carvohi's stories, he's simply inconsistent as a writer. If Gary were better written, the story would be shorter and much better.

and I'll keep reading.

The story is a bit... verbose but it is well written and entertaining. Of course carvohi is one of my favorite authors and has many great stories I have enjoyed. I will continue to follow the story and see where the author takes me for the ride. I had not planned on commenting But when comments are as good as the story I can’t pass up my thanks to the author, the catalyst for the comments. I have especially enjoyed FD45 and sbrooks103x comments (several others as well but I am drawing a blank on names) and even some Anonymous comments. As a side bar let me say I am impressed that several Anonymous are actually signing there comments - well done.

So I will keep reading so please do keep writing.

I jumped to the end (mostly) on that other site and all I have to say is:

A segue (transition of topic/scene) and a Segway (two wheel stand up scooter) are not the same thing! I’ve never had a conversation that required me to ride a Segway.

I dislike her and have no respect for him and the story has no drama or integumentary sorry it's boring and the thought there is another 5 chapters frankly puts me off. I normally like your stuff but this is not up to scratch.

I’m going to wait until the end to rate this. So far, I’ve had a hard time making up my mind. On the one hand, it’s a good look into a person with a pretty severe mental health issue. On the other hand, it’s a pretty damn depressing story. Generally, I like this author’s work, so I will trust and pray he is not leading me to a train wreck. Subsequent chapters will tell.

Whatever happened to the concept "if you don't like the premise of a story, don't read it"? Others may feel differently.

I have to comment at this point. As an author, you write well, but this chapter was frustrating to read. You have your protagonist (Gary) written so he is almost totally unable to communicate in any reasonable way. Almost the entire chapter is one failure after another to clear things up. For instance, why do his daughters think he is at fault for the impending divorce? There is no reason to bad mouth their mother, but they have eyes, they are not unaware of what is going on. Why do they not clear the air when he takes them to see his in laws? Why is he being so juvenile in making snide comments and leaving notes. The chapter just seemed to wander from event to event without much purpose.

That ending makes me wonder where we're going now. This is quite a ride and I'm really enjoying it. I was really hoping the volleyball game would end with a vicious spike to Snyder's gave for the winning point. Can't have everything I nsuppose.

The kids drugged him?

And I'm tired of dinking and dunking around. Going to SOL to read the remainder of this train wreck. The problem is that you've made him such an unlikable man that there's simply no way you bail him out and rescue the story. You've been around Literotica for awhile. You HAD to know this wouldn't be well received yet you posted it anyway? Why? What's to be gained by dragging something out for 9 chapters when you know from the start that you're going to receive a lot of negative comments and scores? There's always going to be some of the willing cuckold/wimp crowd that will like it. But those weirdos are few and far between. I simply don't understand your logic.

1 star

I'm really enjoying the story, but if reconciliation is where you are taking this, 1) Jessie needs individual therapy, 2) they need couples counseling, 3) Jessie will need to change law firms, 4) Jessie will need to come clean with at least all the family, and 5) Jessie will need to change her attitude about Gary and his job. Of course maybe she will crash (maybe not burn), and the truth will come out and force her to change - maybe.

well it was up to the end of it , he dosnt remember ,, ? ,, has she killed him ?,, drugged him, ? , whats going to happen next ,, ?, waiting for the next installment ,, thanks for sharing

Hate this story. I hate it so much but I wanted to see if the Husband got smarter, he doesn't. I went to storiesonline.net to read ahead... and every character is so unlikable to the Kids to the Doctor to everyone there's no redeemable quality about them. Waiting to the end of the story to say she has a mental illness was not good the husband doesn't know about so that doesn't explain is wimpyness, the daughters are childish spoiled brats who doesn't get punish for anything. This story is bad, so bad that I... don't know what to say.

The woman is a phycho...

Screwing with his head so he wont marry someone else and she can keep him as her pet.

Spouses during divorce do this crap. Then go back to hate in hours.

Carvohi is one of my favorite authors. The subject matter of the story is complex. Wanting a family to stay together is totally understandable to me. Gary's moves are rational but not consistent. Jessie is struggling and I can see she wants Gary back..

I look forward to the rest of the ride.

Sounds like my own wife, when she packed and left only to find out the grass isn’t greener on the other side. It took her three years to bring her high and mighty, I’m better than you pride to get to swallow her pride and come to a decision in life.

Jessie is very much the same she is now realising she’s missing out on everything, but will she finally wake up and smell the coffee, before her work and the little life she has turns her into a totally self centred career woman with nothing and no one.

It’s been a enjoyable story thus far, it has stirred my memory some what lol.

as a layman I thing insane asylum is called for. TK U MLJ LV NV

Really good story. Somehow you have made me dislike both Jessie and the main character. None of these people are perfect. They are all flawed-human. I have waited to score these until the end but I expect it to be a 4 or 5. Thanks in advance for the effort.

That ending is weird, makes me wonder what was in those treats...

To be honest I don't understand Gary,he knows his wife is abusing the dog and his answer is to taunt his wife to 'deflect her from doing it'? Does he think she doesn't abuse the dog when he isn't there? More importantly,is he oblivious to the fact that most people who abuse animals also have a tendency to abuse people ? His daughters could be harmed at any point. The hard part about reading this in trying to show the complexity about dealing with mental illness he is enablimg Jessie and also is settimg himself up to be the victim when the shit truly hits the fan, as a reader it is hard to read a story where everyone is unlikable.

And dumber the more you write. Seriously, just stop.

Yes! I had noticed that when reading on the other site and couldn't comment. I haven't been reading here, just following the comments, and had forgotten that!

Is her bet to see just how much she can dangle and torture her husband? Is it a test of his endurance?

So which dick got her cheating cunt pregnant? It certainly wasn't Gary. She would be 6 or 7 months along or more if it was his?

She started by fucking her co worker and she has been going on dates and bringing men around for months so which guy fucking her is going to be a daddy?

Isn't Gary afraid of catching something?

For the love of God, LEARN where a comma goes and question marks! You also need to learn to cut out the unnecessary FILLER. Also timelines. You're not a great writer.

So Far So Good!.....A cliffhanger!....Love it! ......5 Stars ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ WOOF!

The stench of impending RaaC is becoming overpowering.

She seems to know everything he is planning and can outmaneuver him with ease, so he breaks into her second home. No concerns about cameras, getting arrested or losing any custody of his children.

He seems concerned that she is mentally unstable. Mental illness is often hereditary. He makes no effort to see if his beloved daughters are in danger of the same illness or instability.

She’s a harridan who severely limits his time spent with his daughters. Might she get worse? Absolutely. He has recorded her admitting to wiretapping his home. Does he have the house swept, collect the bugs and have everything witnessed so that he has a hole-card to play if she fucks with him? Nope.

She is neglecting her children, going out of town when she has birthday celebrations planned (and obviously on her days of custody), has another residence established that her children are not part of and stays there overnight. The residence that the children are living in is a shambles. Does he contact CPS so he can gain primary custody? Nope.

She effectively starts dictating what parts of the home he has to fix that she has allowed to become derelict. He acquiesces.

She has three teen daughters. None of them goes off on the mother? None of them flip out and scream at her for running their father off and ruining their life? Has the author ever met a teenager?

It’s as if the author is contending in some unannounced “Most Passive MC” contest.

Almost nothing in this story makes sense and no character in it behaves like a human being would actually behave.

However, this chapter was hard to read and follow. Not sure it makes sense from where Gary is at and how he has been treated. Most men would have "cut bait" from her and be done with it. Yeah I get it he still kind of loves her...but it has to be fading fast. Thanks for the story it was a 4 for me.

"Buckeye Fan"

She’s a bitch will always be a bitch. A cheating bitch at that. Run run and don’t look back.

So Far So Good!......A Cliffhanger! I Love It...5 Stars ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ WOOF!

When the relationship is good it's like the magnets are aligned correctly (north-south) and the two people are completely connected and inseparable. When things have soured the magnets are aligned incorrectly and repel one another. When that happens you need to pull back and give the other person room and if there is any relationship left they will chase you. If not then the relationship is truly dead.

Reason I say that is because Gary has been up Jessie's ass since that party. She is the one that messed up, but he's the one totally up her ass all the time. Give her fucking room to miss you, to realize what she did, realize what the hell is going on with her, realize if she truly wants you anymore or not.

Obviously there is shit wrong with Jessie, but she is intelligent and educated enough to think through her shit (unless there are chemical issues). Being constantly up someone's ass doesn't help.

It's funny I wrote everything above after reading just page one because of my reaction to him constantly going after her. The pull back, or the take-away, ended up being his relationship with Carolyn. It provided the chance for her to lose him. It was an inadvertent pullback on his part.

I find the characters interesting because of all their flaws, and interested of their development. Self-actualized people they are not.

Soooo, there are none? Aaaaand, who drugged him? Will her new pregnancy force him to stay?

Soooo...in 4 installments you turn Gary into Wonder Wuss?

Then I really hope you have a good plan for accomplishing that because from the very beginning the holes dug for all the characters are huge. The husband reads like he has some mix of Stockholm syndrome and depression, the wife is guilty of spousal abuse and massive control issues. I can't get a read on the kids, they seem both completely blind to how Jessie has been acting for their entire lives, yet they can read her like a book to provide Gary information or manipulate Jessie when the plot requires it.

Or maybe, and I hope this is the case, you are setting up the reconciliation as a red flag before the hammer falls hard on both Gary and Jessie for not having done what needed to be done to save the marriage and ends in tragedy for both.

Very uneven writing ... and confusing. Gary wants to help her, but then is openly mocking her, especially in front of his children? His negative feelings toward Carolyn, but still says may marry her? Not your best writing.

Does anyone ever make any sense?

Perhaps it's this sort of unbelievably stupid perspective which explains why this particular author who has some writing skills always writes the worse stories of all time. To actually hold the opinion that nobody ever makes any sense when it comes to being married or in a relationship is truly bizarre irrational and well just ignorant.

Go back and read the words the actions from the very beginning of the story and chapter 1. The re-read this chapter. The question is indeed why bother ?

Let's assume his wife is mentally ill.

Why then does he need to take the blame for everything that's happened?

Why isnt GARY getting help and seeking assistance from other people of a family long before this chapter?

Awful irrational plot and character development

Harryin VA

It's sad, but it's all Jessie's fault.

This is a world of her making. She's functionally mentally ill.

That also means she's clever enough to ask for help from others. She hasn't.

She's functional enough to realize how toxic she's been. She hasn't.

She does not deserve her family. She's ignored them in favor of a very slightly bigger pay bump. Even if it's a big bump, she's literally killed off her relationship with her husband and daughters. Her being sad and milking the pity of others seems like it's part of manipulation at this point. Real or not, she's using it. She uses others. That has to stop. Right now i see two jaded daughters being used to convince a jaded husband to comfort an uncaring mother/wife.

It's no one's fault but her own. He could have done more. The daughters could have done more. But this is an adult with stock options that operates vehicles, manages finances, feeds itself. She's not handicapped. Even drug addicts can acknowledge they need outside help. I feel nothing for her, only pity for the broken family her pride has left behind.

This guy is an idiot. He needs to grow a brain and get a pair of balls.

I suspect that the scores of the latter stories will improve as more and more readers are weeded out by the sheer wrongness of this story. One can only assume that the kids, so far the only characters worth sympathy, drugged their father or were in on the reconciliation plan.

As another storyteller on this site would say, 'lady, your pussy ain't gold. Every woman has one.' You have the capability to write good stories that make sense, but you choose to write ones that don't. Such a waste of talent.

1*, last vote from me on this series.

For those questioning where this story is on storiesonline.net, they are posted under Jedd Clampett.

@Bebop3 - I could be mistaken (likely), but I thought he had THEIR house bugged, not her second home. She, on the other had, DID bug his new house.

I hate to admit it but I am a very slow reader. It has it's good points though.

Anonymous08/27/19

good god why is it so hard to have a coherent timeline? or a man capable of understanding linear time?

they broke up in december and hadnt had sex for a while before that meaning that for the kid to be his she would have to be more than 7 months pregnant, she isnt even showing so she is less than 4 months, meaning she most likey got pregnant in feb/march

If you had read the whole passage instead of skimming you would have read, 'He'd seen this before. This was Jessie at nineteen. He recalled the line, "Gary I'm pregnant. You can't leave me, not now," and he hadn't.' The passage was about their first child.

Carry on Jedd.

I enjoy the comments. Some are fun, some insightful, some brutal.

One person remarked about my misuse of a word. In my story I used the term segway when it should have been segue. That was my fault. I apologize.

Harry in Virginia made an interesting point when he asked why Gary hadn't sought familial help sooner than he did. I have to demur on two counts. Jessie's parents had never been supporting of him, and his mother, the only other family member was afraid Jessie might cut her off from her granddaughters. Second, the entire story only covers ten months so its hard to say whether he waited too long or not.

One thing, the comments do make me want to be a better writer. I've already made significant changes in my current working story.

Jedd Clampett (carvohi)

Sorry -- found no,4!!!

19pvc44

I hate to be critical, but thus far this story is unremittingly grim, depressing,

and dark. The protagonist's only major characteristic is that he's perpetually

indecisive. What a mess!

What part of spineless do you want? you write characters in fading and jumping extremes. First we are lead to believe this guy is a "boy scout" who dotes on his daughters while the ever climbing corporate slut wife looses her mind. Now we have a spineless wimp being balled by his diseased "soon-to-be ex-wife" while his children boss him around. The "wife" acting repentant

So who is who and what did you do to the original cast of characters. Supposedly this occurs all in less that a year? Give me a break.

Please see a doctor. I'm afraid for your own sanity.

Definitely keeps

You guessing

Crazy ass woman. He's an idiot!!!! She's Bi- Polar...

She betrays him, calls him a wimp, so in response he betrays his new girlfriend. Go figure.

That's a great thing to do, what is she using for birth control this time? You own a house now, have another lab and you don't take Daisy? Jesus H. Christ on a bicycle, you married a woman you had to know at the time was batshit crazy, now you're involved with one who can't as you say go to the store without clearing it with her mother and you leave the dog? Take that gun the mugger dropped and just put us out of our misery if you can't do anything else. Signed: BTW

Crazy people. They deserve each other.

Bottom line:

(1) The wife is so screwed up she doesn't know what she wants.

(2) The husband is so in love with her and her batshit crazy behavior he willing to fall on the sword for her again, again, and again.

A match made in heaven.

Infuriating, really. Gary is at his old house everyday, doing housekeeping & yard work, yet thinks the only way he can talk to Jessie is by throwing a party with lawyers present? Carolyn makes him seem like a he-man. Then when he’s with Jessie he’s a wimp. If the ex is mistreating his dog, why didn’t he take it away from her? This character is written to be so stupid.

He's being manipulated by a master. Is he really THAT blind? Stories have to be attached to some reality to be entertaining. This is sinking fast.

Well, learned a new word: peregrinations. Interesting.

Gary apparently suffers from extreme testosterone deficiency. Or something damn close.

I agree with a lot of the comments. Gary is a wuss that has nothing to do with him trying to just be a good Dad. His ex is an awful person who walks all over him and treats him like crap and yet HE complains that Carolyn is a doormat?

Kind of saw it coming, but not quite...5*

Is it portraying terrible characters or a terrible portray of characters?

This car crash of a marriage has everything. Domestic Abuse, Child Mental Abuse, Animal Abuse, Sexual Harassment at work. Is there anything else that can go wrong? Oh I forgot, Jessie is abusing OxyContin, Satan’s little helpers. Apart from that everything is fine …. Not. 5 stars and I’m looking forward to the next episode.

Why would he stick his dick into the cesspool that is her skanky hole? How many 25 to 30 year olds has she been banging the last 6 months? Numerous. How many STDs does she now have? How many times has she been tested?

He isn't even asking these questions as he fucks this selfish whore that ruined his life?!

I can guarantee you in real life you'd be certainly thinking about all of this before you went into her bedroom where she was "alone".

This guy calling anyone else a doormat, lol.

LMAO even

Waste of time

Her infidelity seems to be a non issue by the author when in reality it would be front and centre, the MC cares nothing of his children being mentally abused, it’s all about the ex wife.⭐️⭐️

At this point I'm just skimming through this in horrified fascination, waiting to see what new horrors come next.

Desperate times for Desperate measures. At what will a psychological medical intervention be required? If her family cares will they dare or just Despair? (Definitely more than bipolar?)