Dear Diary

Dear Diary

Let me start off by introducing myself my, name is Elizabeth, I prefer Beth. Married now four plus years, to my University boyfriend, Keith. My husband and I have a daughter, Ava, age two. My parent in laws, lived five doors down. Which sometimes can be intrusive, but more than not are very helpful and appreciate them tremendously.

You see my husband Keith's mother, Becky looked after our daughter while I worked during the day. She's the mother I do not have any longer and I called her mom. My father-in-law, Bruce, is a big tall, intimidating looking man, but very caring. Unlike my father who was very distant and cold, especially after the death of my mother, but that is another story.

Keith works with his dad in the home construction business. Mostly at this time, driving truck doing deliveries of supplies. I worked for a company that supplied Kitchen & Bath wares, everything from cupboard knobs to kitchen sinks. This year my employer wanted to really amp up business and decided to have almost the entire staff participate in a trade show. Because he procrastinated we ended up coming in at the last minute, the hotel where convention was being held was booked.

I ended up finding a small bed and breakfast near the trade convention within driving distance, in order to do my part. When I first told Keith about the one day event, he was a little apprehensive about me going. I told him I would be very happy if he would please come along. After the trade show we could relax at the B&B and enjoy ourselves. Giving us a little bit of us time, while his mother would gladly baby sit. Unfortunately because everything was last minute there was not enough time for him to take that day off. Keith told me he already had appointment scheduled for delivery.

The following weekend was the trade show. Early Friday morning we both got up about the same time and hubby got ready for work. I gave him a kiss, told him I would be back Saturday well after lunch. My things packed the night before, I headed out first. Getting there in record time and booked into the bed and breakfast. Leaving straight from there to the convention hall to help set up with the rest. The company I worked for was small but growing, we had two locations. There were five people from our location two men and three women Including myself.

From our sister store there was three, one man and two women. I being the odd woman out, was paired up with the David from the other sister store.

Innovations, new styles, new trends. We had it all. It was a big turn out, people from all over Canada and the United States. The trade show was a great success. Face to face marketing, you can not replace it. David was a pleasure to work with, very knowledgeable and friendly. When it was our lunch break, David and I took our lunch in the hotel restaurant. I took a minute and texted both Keith to say hello and his mom to see how Ava was. I was informed that all was fine on the Homefront from both.

We ended up having a late lunch and a glass of wine each. He definitely was a great salesman and a smooth talker. During lunch I told him about my husband and my little girl. He told me he was single, which surprised me. David, I surmised, was about five years older than me, and very distinguished and handsome. Possibly he was divorced, but I did not bother to pry. I also found out coincidentally, that he was staying at the same B&B as I was and had taken a cab over. I offered him a ride back after the trade show, seeing as we were staying at the same location.

The afternoon was even busier and we never got another opportunity to take a break to eat. David got us some tea and a bag of cookies to share from somewhere. He was very flirty with myself and any potential female clients, yet respectful. By the time we wrapped up our day and got to the parking lot where my car was. It was 9:30. Luckily it was a short drive back to the inn. When we got back, David thank me profusely for the ride.

The accommodations were beautiful, it was an old 18th century home turned into a B&B. When we got back, everything was quiet. The other guests must have turned in for the night. The innkeeper greeted us when he came out of the dining room to our left as we came in the front door. We talked briefly with him about the cold winter night outside. He said he just put a fresh log on the fire. A winter night in January in an old Victorian home by a crackling fire. What a perfect setting, If only Keith was here.

The innkeeper went about his business. David asked me if I would care to join him sharing a vintage bottle of wine that he had in his room. I blushed, he quickly corrected himself, saying," join me out here in front of the fire. The wine is in my room, I'll go get it."

I informed him, that would be nice. I need to freshen up quickly first and I would be back. Returning to my room, I took a minute to sit down on the bed and call Keith. We briefly talked about each others day. I told him how much I missed him and loved him and look forward to seeing him tomorrow afternoon. We said our goodnights. Thinking back on it now, I do not know why I never mentioned David in my conversation. I truly do not believe there was any devious intent.

Removing my heels from aching feet and taking off my pantyhose's I took a minute to freshened up in the washroom.

David was waiting when I returned, in two big comfy Victorian chairs by the fire. The wine was fantastic and going to my head due to the lack of food intake. David with his charming, flirtatious self. We talked a lot about today and work in general. He commented again on how attractive my dress was, also how much he liked my blonde hair. Telling me how mesmerizing my green eyes were. As much as I enjoyed the compliments, I reminded him again, I was a married woman. He laughed and poured me another glass of wine.

David seemed to be fascinated with everything that I said hanging on my every word, wanted to know about my hobbies my likes my favorite novels movies. Praising me on my work knowledge and impressed with how well we work together today on making lots of future business.

The wine now gone, made me feel tipsy and the warmth of the fire felt good. My only discomfort was my aching feet I raised my leg up to rub my foot and mentioned that he was lucky not to wearing heels all day. He laughed and reached over grabbed my foot in his hand and started massaging it before I even knew what was happening. I instinctively tried to pull my foot away but it felt so good, I just went with it. David asked," how does that feel."

I had to be honest if felt great, I relaxed my shoulders and sank into my chair tilting my head back closing my eyes. Gently massaging and stroke the bottom of my foot, what seemed like forever. Letting it slip from his hand, setting it on the floor, he reaching for the other. Continuing to work on my arches, I again leaned back and closed my eyes.

After a few moments I slowly opened my eyes and looked over at David, realizing he was looking up my skirt. I felt flush with embarrassment and closed my legs but did not pull my foot away as he continued to massage. Looking up into my eyes and smiling, I sat back and relaxed. I could feel his fingers gently working now on my ankle and lower calf's. God I loved having my feet rubbed, it felt sooo good.

Then I felt a peculiar sensation, I opened my eyes and realized, he was kissing and licking my toes. At first I was stunned shocked but it felt...Good! Closing my eyes again and pretended that I had not noticed. His strong hands gently squeezed massaged my calves and tickled me gently underneath my kneecap. I could feel his tongue swirling around between my toes then sucking on each toe. No one had ever done this before and it was starting to turn me on. Once again he gently set my foot down to the floor and then reached for the other foot again. I assumed he was going to kiss and lick it as well when I felt it, his hot breath on my knees his fingers stroking my thighs.

Working his way up gently, his fingertips dragging across the sides of my thighs then I felt his lips kissing my knees. David's hand on each, he slowly opened my legs and started kissing my inner thigh. I knew that this was wrong, yet it felt so right. I just laid there with my eyes closed taking all the sensations in. Feeling the stubble from his chin scratching across my thighs as his face moved forward. I spread my legs wider, I could now feel as hot breath on my Inner thighs and I could hear him gently make a moaning sound as he drew in a breath inhaling me. His nose made contact with my panty, moving his face up-and-down rocking as his nose rubbed against my clit through my black lace thong panty. As he nuzzled his face between my legs his hot breath, his bristly chin, I could feel a climax building in me already. Reaching down with my hand and placed it against the side of his head I whispered, "we can't someone will catch us, this is not right."

He whispered back, "come with me." I looked up and he was standing up, David grabbed my hand. Like on auto pilot I just followed him staggering along the wine was affecting me.

"Where are we going"

I am taking you back to your room." That statement made me feel comfortable knowing that I was going back to my room. Holding my hand he led me through the door we walked into the dark room. He wrapped his arms around me and then I felt his kiss. I just stood there, I did not know what to do. My Passion was rising inside me, feeling him hold me against his body. Feeling his erection now pressing into me, I started to kiss him back. Ever so gently lowered me back onto the bed, I laid back with my feet still on the floor. David crouched down in front of me and placed his face back between my legs where he had left off. Only this time I felt his fingers pulling my panties to the side. Then I felt his tongue touch my labia, darting, licking, teasing my button.

He paused momentarily, I opened my eyes, felling my panties being pulled down my legs and off my feet. My eyes now adjusting to the moonlight coming in through the frosted glass of this cold winter night. I could make out in shadow as he proceeded to once again make love to my neatly trimmed love flower. David teased me over and over to the brink and back. I reached out with my hands trying to hold his head in place wanting, aching to reach my climax. I could not take his teasing any longer, holding him steady forcing his face into my love. I had a mind blowing orgasm, lying there, taking in the afterglow. After awhile he slowly crawled up beside me lying there with my dress bunched around my waist. He held me in his arms and kissed me gently on my neck. I remember whispering that felt so good and then sleep overtook me.

I do not know how long I had been asleep, or even where I was when I suddenly awoke feeling my husband making love to me. He was gently moving in-and-out on top of me keeping his weight off. Gently kissing my neck, it felt so good, I mourned "Kevin please take me."

His thrust increased and I could feel him suddenly begin to shake, climaxing, giving me his seed. I wrapped my arms around him as he laid beside me breathing heavy. I was trying to rationalize where we were, when it came to me... I was not at home my husband was not here... who is this David?... No please, No this can not be happening. I sat up trying to get my bearings, I heard him say. "it's ok lay back relax you're fine. "

"No, No I am not fine, this is not my room, what have we done.

Dear Diary

Staggering around searching for my panties on the floor grabbing them and making my way out the door. I realized my room was one door up and across the hall. Getting back into the safety of my room, I burst into tears. Oh my God what have I done, stripping off my dress and bra. Rushing into the bathroom, I looked at myself in the mirror. Talking to my image, "you discuss me."

Turning on the shower, jumping in and lathering up my body, I scrubbed myself raw. Especially between my legs, trying to put together the pieces in my mind, as to what I have done. I know he took advantage of me when I fell asleep, but I did consent beforehand. Oh god no court in the world would take my side, especially the highest court my husband. Getting out of the shower I towel dry and quickly threw all my things back in my overnight bag. I have to get out of here before the morning, I can not face him, I can't face anyone...

Putting on a pull over and a pair of jeans, socks, my coat and boots. Hair up in a ponytail, I crept out the door. Down the hall and out the front door.

There was about an inch of fresh fallen snow, and the moon still shone bright. Putting my case in the trunk, deciding to walk to clear my head.

The wine tonight was the first drink of alcohol, having not drank from the time I was pregnant till now. I should have been more careful, knowing that it would hit me hard, I should have known a lot of things. Knowing what some men can be like as well... I am not stupid, but I was tonight. I pulled up my hoodie my damp hair was starting to freeze. Up ahead at the end of the street were the lights of a café, cast neon on new fallen snow. I pulled out my phone and checked the time six AM. I sent a text to my husband, { Can not sleep missing you love you so much.}

Stepping inside and ordered a coffee, the girl behind the counter looked at me surprised to see anyone. Guess I was her first customer, I thanked her for the coffee paid and moved away from the counter. Thinking that she might try to get into a conversation with me and I would break down crying. I just did not need that, it would be daybreak soon. I will just drink my coffee, by the time I walk back I should be more than clear minded enough to drive home. I can not stay here, have to get back to my husband. I love him so much, what have I done. I will throw myself at his feet and beg his forgiveness.

Walking back to the car as the sun was beginning to rise. Warming the car enough to get on my way, I headed home to face my fate. I cried all the way home playing it over and over in my mind, knowing I had to tell Keith what I had done. One stop on my way home and it was at the drug store to get the morning after pill.

Reaching my home I pulled into the driveway and got out, not even worrying about unpacking. I had to see him, I must hold my husband. Getting my key to open the door, Keith opened it first announcing. "Beth why are you home so early, what is wrong, why are you crying?"

I told him to just hold me please, just hold me in your arms. I cried and I cried, and he just held me. He wrapped his arm around me and hugged me as tight as he could through my winter coat. When I was cried out, I asked about Ava! Keith told me he had just dropped her off at his mom's house. He was about to go out to do the grocery shopping, before I got home.

We sat down on the sofa and he held my hands in his, our knees turned towards each other I told Keith. "I need to tell you something, I need you to know that I love you, I love you more than my own life. I never wanna hurt you and I need you, I need you and Ava in my life to the day I die... But I've made a big mistake, a horrible mistake and I have to tell you..."

He just sat there and looked at me and listened as I told him the events of the night before without being graphic, but leaving out nothing. When I was done talking he let go of my hands, Keith stood and he looked down at me. I seen the tears in is eyes, the pain on his face, it was unbearable and he walked out that door. I ran behind him screaming his name, he never turned, Keith never stopped. He got in his car, me pounding on the window, following the car down the driveway until he pulled away and left me behind. I fell down in the snow on my hands and knees screaming, "NO, NO. this can't be happening."

I did not know what to do next, walking back into the house standing in the doorway. Trying to think, then I went back outside, grab my cell from my car and frantically text him. Then ran down the street to our mom's house, maybe she would know what to do. I need to see my baby Ava.... Oh God please help me.

Reaching their home I pounded on the door frantically Becky, mom opened the door, "good lord Elizabeth what is wrong child, come in come in, Bruce get the girl to drink a water hurry."

I crumpled at her feet, "oh God Mom please forgive me please, Keith has left me, I have made a horrible horrible mistake." My father-in-law handed me a glass of water I took a drink gulping and choking. Becky stroked my back and wiped my cheeks. "Easy girl just relax, Bruce go check on Ava give us a couple of minutes Hun."

Mom took me to the kitchen and between tears of anguish, I slowly explained my mistake she looked at me and said "oh dear, ok honey one thing at a time excuse me a minute."

I found out later that she went to talk to Bruce and told him to go find Keith and talk to him she would explain later. "Call his cellphone honey."

When she returned I asked her if Ava was ok? she said, "she's napping quietly in front of the TV, she got up early this morning when Keith brought her over."

I remember feeling light headed almost like I was going to pass out with all that had happened and the lack of sleep. Mom told me that I should lay down and relax for a bit, she took me to the guest room. I laid on the bed and she sat beside me and stroked my head, I cried myself to sleep. I awoke a few hours later and wandered out into the living room Becky and Bruce were playing with Ava and I crouched down on the floor she ran over and gave me a hug I tried to hold the tears back as best I could hugging Ava. Bruce looked angry he locked eyes with me for a moment then looked away, got up and left the room. "I will make tea," he said.

Mom told me, he got ahold of Keith, "we will talk about it in a few minutes. Just play with your daughter for a minute let me get you something to eat."

I told her "I'm not hungry."

"You will eat some chili, I will be right back with a cup of tea."

She left me to play with my daughter as she went to join her husband in the kitchen.

I picked up Ava and went out into the kitchen, as I entered Mom motioned for me to sit down, putting a cup of tea in front of me and went back to stirring some chili at the stove. Bruce just stared at me. "We ladies need alone time."

Bruce picked up his tea and went in the other room I could see a look of disdain in his eyes. The same look that my husband had only, without the tears. Mom put a bowl down in front of me, taking Ava from me. On mom's knee she bounced and giggled, as I tried to eat something. In between bites I said, "what am I going to do Mom?"

She said, "just eat up Elizabeth, I will come up with a plan. I will fill you in on what I know in a few minutes."

I ate about half then felt sick so I pushed the bowl away and just sipped up my tea. As we sat silent except for little Ava's giggling as she bounced on her grandma's knee. She called out, "Bruce could you look after Ava for a minute, we're going downstairs to the rec room, Ok honey!"

We grabbed our tea and went downstairs, as Ava took her grandpa's hand and went into the other room to watch cartoons. Once downstairs I sat on the sofa and mom began to tell me that Bruce had talked to his son for a minute. "He's decided to move out Elizabeth."

"Oh my God, please no, no, I love him mom. I have to get him back."

"Listen to me," she said, "I need to tell you something, I need you to listen carefully. I have never brought it up before and I do not know if Keith has ever said anything to you but I was married once before. When I was a lot younger before my wonderful husband Bruce. I was married to a man that I thought I would be with for a lifetime. I was foolish and young and I cheated on him."