Dear Diary Ch. 04

"I'm going to need your ID, and the sign says no one under eighteen. I can understand wanting to get your little sister a vibe of her own, but she can't come in to help you pick it out. Sorry, but you could get me shut down."

Julie looked down at me and winked as she reached for her purse. "Why is it everyone thinks I look so much younger than you do? You're only a couple months older than I am."

The guy behind the counter caught my eye roll and smirked. "I take it you've been through this before. In that case, I'm going to need ID for both of you."

Pulling my ID out, I set it on the counter for him. "First time getting carded, but I'm used to people thinking I'm twelve. I haven't really grown all that much since then."

Julie's ID got a once over to check her age, but he scrutinized mine for a minute before shaking his head. He grabbed a business card off the counter and handed it back with my ID. "I would have guessed fourteen, but that's hard to believe, even after seeing it. If you're ever looking to make some easy money, just give me a call. The name's Craig, and I own the place so anyone working here could get me a message. Looking as young as you do could finally become an advantage."

"I'm not sure that would work out too well. I'm involved with two people, and I don't think either would approve of me doing fake kiddie porn."

"I'm talking soft-core voyeur stuff, and your girlfriend could come along to verify it's legit. Teasing, upskirts, candid pantie shots, that sort of thing. Two hundred a shoot and you wouldn't be showing more than you would at the beach. If you decide you want to go a bit further, I can guarantee a thousand dollars a show with no contact or real interaction with your audience."

I stopped for a minute and looked up at him. "How exactly would that work out?"

"There's a theater for live shows in the back," he grinned, nodding toward the curtains at the back of the room. "It's basically a stage surrounded by private viewing booths with a quarter-inch of Lexan instead of glass for security. No one's back there if you want to check out the setup. If I circulate your picture, I could easily book every seat for a couple of shows. Twenty booths at a hundred bucks a head for a thirty-minute show and I always treat my performers well. You'd walk out with half the cover for your show plus whatever tips you get. These guys tip big, and you're allowing them to live out their fantasy of watching a young girl discover her sexuality, so it would translate into a nice payday for you."

"You're considering this?" Julie asked, sounding a bit surprised. "That's unexpected. We should talk this over, as there's someone else who could be affected as well. I would be worried that someone would recognize me and try approaching me outside the theater."

"She wouldn't have that problem," Craig explained. "You have to remember the clientele we're talking about have a fantasy that could get them arrested if they did it. If they did see her in a public place, most of them wouldn't approach her for fear of breaking the fantasy. They know she's at least eighteen, but your girlfriend looks young enough to let them pretend it's real and that's what they're paying for. I had a girl a few years back who could pass for fifteen. She paid for four years of post-graduate work at USC doing private shows every weekend, and she never had sex with her clients. Just think about it and call me if you want."

I just nodded as Julie put her arm around me and led me deeper into the store. "Remember when I talked about getting a job as a waitress at a bikini bar and you told me I would have to be crazy? I can't see how you're even thinking about doing something like this."

"It's a different situation," I sighed. "In a place like that, you pretty much have to let the customers cop a feel if you want decent tips. No one would be able to touch me if I did a show here, and it's really good money. That design job you found me is awesome, but I'll only be making around six hundred a month. A thousand dollars a night a couple of times a month would let you and Bruce forget about working crappy jobs. A couple of extra shows would let us build up an emergency fund in case one of the cars breaks down or something. I'm not sure I would want to do it, but it's tempting."

"I can understand that, and we'll discuss the pros and cons as a group tonight. Bruce would probably want to be here if you did go through with it, just in case someone tried to approach you after you left. Should we check out the theater area so we can see if it's secure?"

I nodded hesitantly and looked up at her, trying to read her mood. "You really wouldn't mind if I wanted to do this?"

Julie grinned and shook her head. "I've gotten to know you pretty well, so I can understand why this is so tempting to you. As odd as it sounds, you want to know what it feels like to know that men are fantasizing about you. I get it. I really do. It's a turn on to know people are looking at you with desire in their eyes. If you want to masturbate for a group of strange men, I'll support that decision as long as you're safe doing it."

I blushed and she leaned down to kiss me. "Come on, let's check out the theater, then you can decide if you still want to pay me back for finding you that design job."

"I'm going to keep doing that whatever I decide here," I told her as we moved toward the theater area. "Being able to claim that practical experience will help when I get my degree and start looking for freelance work. Are you finally going to tell me what this favor is?"

She ignored the question as we stepped into the back room. "Let's see, the booths are just big enough for one, and they would break their hand long before they broke through that glass. With the curtain pulled and the lights on in the stage room, you wouldn't be able to see much more than there was someone in the booth. It looks like there's even a locked dressing room for the performers. Maybe I should ask about doing a show or two myself? It might not be as lucrative as yours, but someone has taught me that I have a bit of an exhibitionist streak."

"I enjoy watching the two of you together, and I'm sure it would pay better than the laundry room. Would you want to do it if I decided to?"

Julie shrugged and put her hands on her breasts. "I was trying to cash in on these with the whole bikini bar idea, but I don't think I could take everything off in front of strangers. Enjoying you or Bruce watching me is a lot different from enjoying letting random strangers see me naked. We're getting away from what we stopped here for though."

"The mysterious favor? I'm still waiting to hear what it is."

"I wanted to pick up a few things for us, but until I get a job and open my bank account, my only form of payment is the credit card my parents get a statement for. It's just until I get my first paycheck and can pay you back."

I rolled my eyes as I shook my head. Even after replacing most of my wardrobe, I hadn't gone through half of what my mom gave me. That money was intended to hold us over until we found work, but Julie and I already had part-time jobs. If Bruce didn't have any objections, I might be able to pick up some easy money here as well, so I felt justified splurging a bit.

"You said a few things for us. If I know your mind half as well as I think I do, then they're things I want as much as you do. I may add a few items to the basket, but it's my treat."

She leaned down and kissed me. "Let's see what we can find."

The place was well organized and brightly lit, so we had no problem finding the huge selection of dildos. They had everything, from vibrators small enough to fit in my palm to a dildo that looked like an actual horse's cock.

"Why would any woman consider trying to stuff that inside herself?"

Julie pulled a couple of vibrators off the wall as she looked over. "Don't ask me, I don't even see how we can handle Bruce. He's so big he leaves me feeling sore for a couple of hours after sex."

"It's even worse for me," I laughed. "We've only managed a couple of times that weren't right before bed, but it took several hours before my pussy felt normal again. I would go with the blue one. From my limited experience with my hairbrushes, the textured one is always a better choice."

It was only about six inches long and maybe an inch and a half wide, but the vibrations should make up for any shortcomings and it wouldn't leave us too sore to enjoy him after. She dropped it in the basket before we moved down the wall to look at harnesses. We'd already discussed this, but we ran into a problem almost immediately. Julie was easy to fit, but none of them were small enough for my tiny waist.

"We can wait until we find one that will fit you," Julie offered. "I know you wanted this even more than I did."

I shook my head as I put the one she liked in the basket. "We'll figure something out for me, but you shouldn't have to wait. I've been looking forward to you fucking me for months now, and I'm used to nothing fitting me anyway. We can always ask Craig. Maybe he has an extra small one in the back."

"I hope so because I want to experience this as much as I want to use it on you." The dildo she grabbed was only about five inches long and maybe an inch wide. I gave her an amused look as I grabbed once closer to seven inches and an inch and a half wide. She took it from me and dropped them both in the basket. "We'll need that one as well, but the smaller one is for your ass. Bruce may be afraid he's going to kill us, but that doesn't mean I can't enjoy it."

I shivered a bit as I glanced back at a selection of butt plugs. "That fits in perfectly with what I was wanting to get. I was thinking if I could learn to relax and open myself up a bit he might try again. If not, I'm sure I'll love walking around with it in my ass either way."

She just smirked as we went over to look at butt plugs. I picked up a set of three that was labeled as a beginner's training kit when we were interrupted. "You don't want those, sweetie."

I glanced over at the employee who was walking up. He was pushing fifty but still looked fit and attractive. His flamboyant clothing and the way he swished when he walked made his orientation clear, but I didn't have a problem with gay men, beyond the fact they usually looked more feminine than I did.

"Any why is that?"

"They're horribly uncomfortable, and the base would look like a brick in those tight little shorts," he said as he pulled the package out of my hand and set it back on the shelf. "That adorable little tush of yours deserves something better. Try this one. It's a bit more expensive, but the handle sits comfortably between your cheeks and would be invisible under your clothes. The taper of the plug is more anatomically correct so it's more comfortable for extended wear, and it won't block your goodies when your girlfriend wants to play with them. See you can't even tell it's there."

He turned so I could see his ass. "You're wearing one of these right now?"

"That exact model, and every day," he said as he turned back to face us and his hand drifted to the collar he wore. "My top insists I always have to be full, so I wear it all day. It's quite comfortable once you get used to it."

"We're more of a partnership, so we'll take two as I have a feeling I won't be the only one wearing one," I said, smiling at Julie. "Since you're here, I don't suppose you have any smaller strap-on harnesses in the backroom or anything?"

He looked me over for a moment then shook his head. "Sorry, Darling, but you're just too petite for a commercial rig. We have a guy who makes leather gear for our local bondage community that could make you a custom one, but there's another option. Follow me."

We walked back down the wall of dildos and he pulled one off the wall. "I have no idea why we don't have these next to the harnesses, but several of our lesbian couples swear by them. It's a strapless strap-on; you slip the handle inside yourself and squeeze to keep it in place. It takes a little more work, but the girls who use them say it's better for both partners."

They were all the same size, that being a bit larger than the one Julie planned to use in my pussy. I gave her a worried look, but she just smirked. "We'll take it. I can handle it, either way. You know I don't make comparisons because I know how you feel about your size, but I'm bigger than you are back there, and I trust you'll be gentle. We just need an industrial-sized bottle of lube and we'll be fine."

I stretched up to kiss her as he put the dildo in our basket. "Anything else I can help you find today?"

"Just lube, so I can pillage that adorable little ass of hers," Julie said, looking down at me, "Unless you wanted something else?"

I thought for a moment before shaking my head. "That should be enough for today. Any recommendations for a good lube?"

"Your toys are all silicone, so you'll want a water-based lube," he said as he led us over to the shelves full of lubes. Grabbing a bottle of something called 'Nooky Lube', he handed it to us. "This one is my personal favorite. It's colorless, tasteless, glycerin and paraben-free, easy to clean, lasts just about forever and feels amazing."

"You're quite the salesman."

"I love my job," he countered. "This is the only place I've found where just being myself is an advantage. Submissive flaming homosexual isn't a look most companies are comfortable with, but it works here because women don't feel intimidated by me. I'm like one of the girls without being competition for their girlfriends. It helps that they can tell I'm being honest when I offer an opinion as well."

"We've appreciated it," I laughed. "It sounds like you've been here a while, so you probably know the owner fairly well. He asked me about doing some modeling. Is it on the up and up?"

"I'd say I know him fairly well, as I've been one of his subs going on twenty years now. It would probably help if I actually introduced myself," he said, smiling faintly. "I'm Johnathan, and I'd be your photographer if you decide to work with us. There are quite a few outfits in this line of work who screw models over, but we're completely legit. We use a standard modeling contract with all our girls and use digital encryption so your pictures can't be copied off our website. I really hope you accept, as it has been a while since we had a model in your category."

"We need to discuss it with our boyfriend," I replied, glancing back at Julie. "He might not be comfortable with it, considering the clientele."

"Try not to judge them based on a desire they can't control having. This service we offer, it gives these men a chance to explore a desire they would never consider acting out in reality," he replied softly. "Most of them are family men, with young daughters of their own, and the idea of doing something that would harm their daughters horrifies them. Someone like you could give them a safe, legal outlet to help control those desires."

"Wow...You seem really in tune with them, considering you're not attracted to women."

He smiled and shrugged. "My brother is one of those clients. He came home from work one day to find his fourteen-year-old daughter sleeping naked in her bed. It was in the middle of a heatwave, so she'd propped her door open with a fan to cool the room off and went to take a shower. She'd laid down with the towel on, but it slipped off at some point, and that's the image that was burned into his mind. It's not about sex for most of them. It's about seeing that mix of innocence and sensuality. You need to understand these aren't bad people. They feel like outcasts because they have a fantasy that isn't socially acceptable."

I felt myself tense up and Julie's arms slipped around me. "We'll talk to Bruce about it when we get home." She squeezed me tight as she turned her attention to Johnathan. "We have a soft spot for outcasts because Matilda has felt like an outcast all her life due to her condition. I have a question for you though. If you had a daughter, would you feel comfortable with her doing this?"

"Very, my stepdaughter Alice paid her way through college doing this. She went a bit farther than most girls do, but she laid out her ground rules and none of her clients tried to break them," he said, glancing back at Craig. "She was doing private shows in the client's homes. They were allowed to join her on the bed during her performance and finish on her as long as there was no physical contact."

"You've given us a lot to think about," I told him. "I'm not sure I could go that far, but I think I can convince our partner that doing an occasional show here would be safe. Let's start with that photoshoot though, as I'm positive he wouldn't have any problems with that. When would be a good time to schedule that?"

"I don't have a schedule, sweetie. Anytime you're available for a couple of hours I can make it work."

I looked over at Julie and she smirked. "Well, Bruce isn't expecting us before dinner since I thought we would need more time to shop for your new wardrobe. Are you sure about this though?"

I bit my lip and nodded. "I had to hide my desires for years because I was afraid of what would happen if I showed them. These men, they're in the same position I was, but they can't openly admit to their desires. It just feels right, like my curse could finally be a blessing to someone. Besides, these are just some innocent pictures, right?"

Johnathan nodded. "These would all be for the main site. It requires a registration, but no age verification so it's all teasing shots. The whole concept is innocent sensuality, so anything that shows too much would ruin that. I take it you'd like to get started now? My studio and office are above the performance area. We'll need to go over the contract, but it's pretty basic."

"We should probably pay for our stuff first, but yes, if that's okay?"

"Of course, I'll get you checked out and let Craig know we're doing a shoot so I'll be off the floor for a while." It only took a minute to get our purchases rang in, but when the total dropped by ten percent my eyebrows went up and he smiled. "We take care of our girls. Models and performers get a discount on anything in the store. I'm supposed to wait until after you sign the contract, but you seem pretty serious."

I shook my head and smirked as I ran my card. "Back home, I was teased and ridiculed because I was like this. By the time I started junior high, I didn't even try to get to know people because I was so used to them judging me by what they could see. When you asked me not to judge these men off of their desires, it was like a slap in the face because it made me realize I was doing the same thing that had been done to me all through my childhood. They didn't ask for their desires any more than I asked to be born like this."

"Moving to California for college was supposed to be a fresh start," I sighed. "But it's hard to let go of the past sometimes. This body has always felt like a curse, but now it might be a blessing. At the very least, I can make a little extra money and hopefully put a smile on a few faces."

"Trust me, you're adorable and they're going to love you," he said as he slipped the receipt into the bag. "Craig darling, I'm going to be upstairs for a bit. Matilda has agreed to do some modeling for us."

I saw him grin as he looked over and nodded. "See if you can get her to commit to multiple shoots. She's going to be very popular and I'd love to do progressives of her."

I gave Johnathan a confused look as he led us back to a locked door down from the performance area. "Progressives are a series of photos where we get a little more racy with each set. The first shoot is almost entirely innocent, with one or two candid shots and maybe an accidental upskirt. We wait a week to see how many hits you get then schedule three or four more photoshoots where we show a bit more each week. These are all clothed, so the maximum exposure would a shot of you in your underwear as if someone walked in when you were changing. We can go farther if you're willing, and it pays better, but even technical nudes go into the member-only section where age verification is required."